by Leah Holt
Kinsley's brows lifted, eyes searching the ceiling. “Well, I didn't expect you to clean it up.” Bridging the gap between us, her palms gripped the edge of the counter as she leaned back. “Thank you.”
Sending her a confused look, I soaped up the sponge and started washing the bowl I used. “For what?”
“For helping Fay. I could tell she was really happy about the whole mattress thing. And trust me, I did everything I could think of to clean that spot. I'm going to need your recipe.”
“Uh, uh, uh,” I said, tisking her lightly. “It's a family secret.”
“That's alright, Fay will remember the stuff you used, I'll figure out the rest myself.” Rolling her head, Kinsley grinned, baring her bright white teeth.
I could kiss her right now.
The smile she sent my way was intoxicating, sucking all the breath from my lungs. I wanted to take her right here, splay her out on the counter and have round two.
Obviously, her daughter being right in the living room, made that impossible. But it didn't stop me from picturing her body bent over the granite counter, legs spread open, taking my cock as I pounded deep inside her.
My dick started to stiffen, pressing up to say hello, and daring me to make her scream my name again. Glancing away, I knew that what had happened the night before, couldn't happen again.
It was wrong for me to take her when she was so vulnerable, so weak and emotional. But I didn't do it because I thought I could, I did it because I wanted her, I needed her.
And she needed me, if only for a night.
But now that I had her, I had to move past the dangerous attraction she painted across my bones. The feeling went deep, too deep to forget, too deep to ignore.
But I have to ignore it.
I hadn't had the chance yet to complete my life's mission. Find my family, find out who I truly was.
The life I lived had been a mess of papers, shifting between families, and never knowing where I came from. I had made a promise to myself, one I planned on keeping.
Find my real family.
How could I ever fully give myself to a woman, when I literally had no clue who the hell I was?
That was my biggest reason for rule number two: Don't give personal information. I lived through that enough when I was a kid. Being asked about my parents, where I was born, if I had siblings.
But the truth was, I didn't know.
My birth certificate was blacked out. I knew I was born on April seventeenth, nineteen eighty-eight, at Hasbro Hospital in New Jersey. Everything else was a mess of thick black lines, and harsh slashes through the most important information... Who I was.
I wasn't even sure if my name was really the one I was given at birth.
The smell of pancakes wafted up and broke my thoughts. “That smells amazing,” I said, letting the savory aroma pull me behind Kinsley. Looking over her shoulder, she let her shoulders brush my chest, sending prickles over my skin.
“So, mattress man, tell me, do you enjoy breakfast after a night hard at work?”
Laughing, I couldn't stop my fingers from tracing her shoulders. “Who doesn't?” Her hair tickled my cheek, tempting me to snuggle into her neck.
Lunging backwards, my feet scraped the tiles. “Something wrong?” Kinsley asked, twisting over her shoulder.
I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew I had to draw the lines back in our relationship. I was hired for her, I wasn't hired to fuck her. Disappointment drew thick crinkles across my forehead, my lips turning razor thin. “Kinsley, about last night—”
“Don't, I get it. You don't need to explain.” Flipping a perfectly golden pancake onto a plate, she held it up for me to take. “But I won't say I regret it. Because I don't.”
“No, I don't regret it either. It's just your friends are paying me, it's not ethical.”
“I know, I understand. Syrup is in the fridge.”
Stepping to the fridge, I snagged the syrup. “It's not just the fact I'm getting paid. I'm not looking for anyone right now, there are things I need to do, to finish. I just don't want you getting the wrong idea.” Placing the plate on the small round kitchen table. “Does she need this cut?” I asked, pouring globs of thick, sticky liquid over the fluffy pancake.
“What?” She asked, lost in thought, or my words. Maybe both.
“Fay— does she need me to cut this for her?”
“You know for a man with no experience with kids, you're kind of a natural.” Her plump lips curled up, eyes twinkling in a way that made the brown as golden as the sugary liquid spilling from the bottle. “And no.” Tossing me a plastic butter knife, she carried in two more plates of breakfast. “She likes to try and cut them herself.”
“Are you sure you're cool with what happened?” I wanted to know that she wasn't just putting on some act, some fake smile to put me at ease.
I should be able to read her, but right now I can't.
“Yeah, it's cool, Layne. I get it, you're not interested in dating. I'm not going to say I don't think it's weird, especially since that's what you do for a living.” Finishing the pancakes, she turned off the stove. “But don't worry about it, alright?”
I could hear the gray tone in her voice, coating her words with colorless expression. She wasn't any happier than I was. There was something about this woman that drew me in, and I knew she felt the same.
Our personalities meshed like chocolate and peanut butter. She was funny, smart, and sexy as hell. And when I was with her, I felt like the world around me didn't exist. She consumed my thoughts daily, the need to know more about her grew on my brain like fungus.
It was there, and it didn't matter how much I tried to ignore it. The need continued to smolder, festering in the back of my mind, no matter what I was doing.
“Fay, Honey, breakfast.” Kinsley called out.
The tiny patter of excited feet trampled into the kitchen, launching into the chair. “Mattress man, my Mommy makes the best pancakes. Did your mommy make you pancakes when you were little?”
Tilting my head, I answered her wonder. “Well, no. I don't know who my mommy is, Fay.”
Squinting her eyes, the curls fell across her forehead. “You don't?”
Swallowing my mouthful of the best pancakes I had eaten in years, I said, “No, I grew up in a lot of different homes, for kids who didn't have mommies or daddies.”
Suddenly my heart stopped, blood surging my veins like fire. Fay had asked me a question I vowed to keep away from my work. Her innocence had masked the devilish pain I harbored about never giving away my life history.
But to the small curious child, the answer spilled from my tongue without a second thought. I didn't have time to think, when she asked the words just came.
“I have a daddy, but he's in heaven. Mommy says I look just like him, but between you and me...” Fay leaned in, cupping her mouth and speaking as if Kinsley couldn't hear her, despite her being right there. “I'm a girl, daddy was a boy.”
Chuckling, I ruffled her head. “You know you're right, I think you look more like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. All you're missing is the yellow gown.”
Kinsley smiled, not asking about my past. Maybe she caught the large rush of air that I sucked in after answering her daughter, or maybe I had a look that flooded my face.
But her smile was bittersweet, a note of 'don't worry, I get it', mixed with curiosity and timing.
Now was not the time to start digging, not the time to divulge in questions and priming about what I had said.
Kinsley was aware of my rules, and in less than three days, I had broken the first two. My list wasn't long, it wasn't a large run-on sentence with extremely small print. My rules were basic, set in place to keep me focused on what I had been striving to gain.
The first two were rules were the most important, the rest was mostly just for personal retrospect. Rule three: always put the clients needs first. Rule four: never give in to what they might demand, because reality and dreams are totally
different. And rule five; always be on top.
On top of my work, on top of my goals, and on top of...
Finding my family.
Chapter Ten
Kinsley
“So, spill it, you never told me, how was the first date?” Gina asked, crossing her leg, and laying back into the dull blue chair in my living room.
“Oh man, let's just say it wasn't a shining moment.” Rolling my eyes, I tucked my palms between my thighs.
“You need to give me more than that, what happened?” Flailing her hand, she nodded at me. “Don't sugar coat it, give me details.”
“Gina, I made a complete ass of myself, as usual.” Laughing, I said, “My date left covered in liquor and with a busted nose.”
Clapping her hands, her face beamed. “That's priceless, he won't forget that night, now will he?”
I couldn't stop giggling, she was right. And it wasn't the first time a date ended in injury. But at least at this point in my life, it was something I could laugh about.
Reaching for the glass of wine on the coffee table, I must have smirked in a way that made it look like I was hiding something. “What are you not telling me?” Gina asked.
Nope, not this time.
Was I going to hide what happened between Layne and myself? Absolutely.
That was between us, not for her greedy little gossip ears to spread to everyone else. And I knew my friend, if she could plaster that news on Twitter or some other social media, she absolutely would.
“Nothing, it's just crazy how I get into those situations. You remember what happened to Kyle back in high school, don't you?”
Shaking her head, Gina's mouth dropped open. “You know I do.”
Back in eleventh grade, I had dated this guy named Kyle for a few months. It should have been a sweet, normal relationship, that ended like any other high school love does. But not for me, not with these feet.
Kyle had taken me to the junior prom, which ended in horror. By the end of the night, I had spilled two sodas on his tux, crushed his feet in my heels, then to my disbelief...
A giant ring I decided to wear, caught the seam of his pants. A small string was dangling, and I, trying to be nice, decided to pluck it away. That single gesture left him with a giant hole in his ass, and his bare backside on display.
Unbeknownst to me, Kyle had decided to not wear boxers. I suppose he thought the night would end with us in the backseat of his car.
But he ran out mortified, leaving me alone, shocked, and single the next morning. He didn't speak to me again after that, and we had every class together our senior year.
“How are the kids?” I asked, trying to send our conversation in a totally different direction.
“You see this?” Gina asked, pointing at her scalp.
“See what?” Leaning over, I examined her head.
“The freaking gray hairs, the kids are giving them to me, I know it.” Shaking her head, she went on. “You're lucky you only have one, Kin. And your one is a damn angel. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”
“Yeah, but you know a teenage girl is a handful. You have boys, you only have to worry about a few penises. I have to worry about every damn one when she gets older, so I'm lucky now, but we might be on different plains by then.”
Laughing, Gina shot me a wide stare. “I never thought about that, holy fuck you're right.” Brushing the hair from her face, she asked. “Where is the little one anyway?”
“She's out with my mom, they should be back soon.”
“Nice. So when do you meet with Layne again? Did he tell you what the next step is?”
A quick snap of my chest shot me up right, my fingers nervously danced over my glass. “Oh, uh, well... I'm supposed to go out on another date this weekend.”
I don't want to. I want Layne.
But I understood his rationale, and I couldn't deny the fact I had the same thoughts. Except that didn't make the idea sit any better in my chest. My heart burned for him, my body ached for him to just touch me one more time.
I didn't need another date, I needed more of him.
There was a piece of me that wanted to tell him that when he was here. But he made it pretty clear, it couldn't happen again. Was it a mistake? Did he regret what happened?
My heart ached not being able to ask him. It was bad enough I couldn't ask him about who he was, or about his past. Maybe he wanted to hide it, or bury it the same way I tried to bury the pain from mine.
Layne had mentioned one small fact, he was a foster child. And that might be the only insight I ever get into his world. One fact the rest of the world and magazines didn't know.
Either way... I would never get my answer.
The front door burst open, Fay popping through holding a bag from Dino's Burger Hut. “Mommy, look what I got!” She yelled, running at full speed towards me, holding out a bright yellow toy.
“What is it?” I asked, grabbing her shoulders, and stopping her before she knocked us both over.
“It's a T-Rex!”
“Very cool, Fay,” I said, hugging her tightly.
My mother stepped in a few seconds behind her, her eyes falling over me before a short snap towards Gina. “Gina Reynolds, how's the hips, Sweetheart? Still limber?”
Gina chuckled, shaking her head. “As they've always been, Mrs. Culver. Thanks for asking. How's the age, still climbing?” Smirking, she looked at me from the corner of her eye.
My mother and Gina had never really seen eye to eye. Both of them were hard headed, with strong personalities. And from my perspective, the same damn person.
But, hell, what do I know. Neither one would ever admit that they genuinely liked the other, but the tiny smirks that filled their faces, showed they respected each other.
“Oh, Honey, I'm like a fine wine. Just ask my husband.”
“Mom, gross.” I snapped.
“Oh yeah, like you should talk. Who's this mattress man Fay went on and on about?”
“Wh—what?” Stumbling on my tongue, Gina whipped her head around.
“Mattress man? What's your mom talking about?”
“Nothing, it's nothing,” I said, waving a hand in the air. “Was Fay good?”
Shaking her finger, my mother closed the door and peered at me through a sideways glance. “She was fine, except for all this talk about a man who fixed your bed and hers. And then she couldn't stop talking about how he loved your pancakes. Care to explain?”
“No, I don't. Honestly, it's none of your business.”
“Kin, who's the mattress man? Did you slip him in after I left that night?” Gina's lips slit open, teeth biting down on her tongue. “Do tell.”
“I don't want to talk about it, look, I have work tomorrow. I'm happy you stopped by, Gina, and thank you Mom, for taking Fay out to dinner. But I need to get some sleep.” Standing, I stepped to the door and tore it open.
Gina's smile was endless, plastered from ear to ear. “You have some explaining to do, Missy, I'll call you tomorrow.”
“Oh, Gina,” My mother said, lifting her hand and letting it sway in the air. “You have enough kids, you don't need to use my daughter's wild night to get you riled up for your husband.”
“You know, you're very insightful, but I need details. How do you think I even have sex anymore? It's through others, because my life lacks excitement.”
“No, Honey, excitement just got worn out on you and your loose lips.”
Giggling, Gina pointed her thumb over her shoulder as she walked out the door. “I love your mom, she's great.”
Nodding, my lips pulled tight. “Yes, she's wonderful.”
My mother followed Gina out the door, her brows furrowed. “Don't say you love me, you're not supposed to love me. Love the fact that you haven't hit menopause yet, because that's when shit goes dry, and trust me, you won't like that one bit.”
Slamming a palm to my forehead, I watched the two women climb into their cars. Gina still gawked at me, pointing at my mom and
laughing, and my mother sneered, winking in my direction.
The two of them have tried to make me think that neither liked each other, they were such liars. If I didn't know better, I bet Gina was going to call my mom and try to get any information she could.
Mind you, her info would be manipulated by the words of a five year old and the mind of my mother. Either way, I was going to be questioned at some point like a criminal in the interrogation room.
Lucky me.
Closing the door, I leaned against the wood, biting my thumbnail. I wanted to tell Gina how incredible my night was with Layne. The way his hips dug down as he stretched me open, the feel of his muscles under my fingertips, the heat that turned my body from cold to tempered.
Gina would have eaten it up, eyes wide, ears pressing closer with each word. But I had to pretend it didn't happen, erase the blushing cheeks, and after sex glow.
A second date was being dangled in front of my face, and all I really wanted was to cuddle up into the strong arms of Layne. I wasn't excited to dip my toes into the pool of men, I found exactly what I wanted.
But wanting didn't change the fact I was his client.
Wanting didn't make me brush away that he had a professional career to uphold.
It was need that was making my heart burn for him.
And need sat like a million pounds in my stomach.
I needed Layne.
Chapter Eleven
Layne
Turning on the bluetooth, I scrolled through my music. Finding a nice heavy metal song to wait for Kinsley, I sat in my car parked in front of her house.
Tonight was the next date I set up, and even while making the call, acid sat on the back of my tongue.
This wasn't what I wanted, I just didn't have an option right now.
But sitting somewhere deep inside, the thought of handing off this woman made me ill. My stomach churned with tornadoes, tearing me apart from the inside out. My hands were shaking, chest tight and constricted as if I couldn't breathe.
Kinsley had taken over my mind, my body, my soul. She was amazing, no one else deserved her.