by Leah Holt
And if I had the chance to meet everyone, I wasn't going to pass it up.
Her voice came through the speaker, soft and air-filled. “Me too, Layne. Me too. I'll be in touch, and give you the details, does that sound okay?”
“Alright, that sounds great.” Hanging up the phone, my body was still trembling. I had never thought in a million years that the family I had spent countless hours looking for, would eventually be thrown right in my face.
They were looking for me too.
Every wall I had hit, every door that was closed in my face, it left me with more questions than answers. I had tried private investigators, calling the hospital I was born in, speaking to retired social workers from the several foster homes I bounced between.
And all that had gotten me nowhere.
My head was spinning and twining around the idea that I had a sister, I had parents, parents that were still together even after giving me away.
For the longest time, I expected the answers to my fostered life consisted of a young mother who couldn't care for a child, and a father who probably had no clue I even existed. I imagined a scenario that revolved around a teenager being forced to give me up by her own parents.
But now, now I would have my answers.
Now, I would finally get to piece together who I was, where I came from, who I even looked like.
Now, I had my real name.
Chapter Fifteen
Kinsley
The days seemed to blend together, one mixing into the next, each one a shadow of the previous hours. It took a whole week to boastfully mask my hurting chest, and another to cleverly hide that my mind was elsewhere.
But deep inside, I could barely function at all. My head was a whirlwind of questions, emotions, doubts.
Regret.
Did I regret what happened between Layne and myself that night? No.
But I regretted letting him capture my heart, I regretted not seeing through the veil, and realizing he wasn't a man who wanted to settle down. We had one sinful, amazing, incredible night, and I let it go to my head.
I knew what I felt with him went beyond lust. Because lust doesn't last days, lust doesn't rain on your brain and stop every other function. All I wanted was a chance to see if it led anywhere
What did he feel?
Who cares, Kinsley.
It's over, he made it clear.
Layne had called me numerous times over the past couple weeks, and I sent him straight to voicemail. Several text came through, his typed voice trying to convince me to not give up and try one more date. I deleted his messages.
I didn't want to hear it, he had made his choice to not follow what flowed between us. He had told me from the beginning that I could get out anytime I wanted.
I was done, no more dating. If I couldn't have the one person I actually felt a twinge of attraction for, then why was I going to bother anymore?
Every bone in my body was aching, my head pounding with the most ferocious headache I'd had in years. Popping two pain pills into my mouth, I cupped the edge of the sink, wishing the intense thumping would magically disappear as I swallowed.
“Mommy?” Fay's small voice cut through the tractor trailer slamming around the walls of my brain.
“Yes, Honey?”
“Auntie Gigi is here.”
“Okay, let her in.” Turning to face the door, my eyes began to cross, making me see double. Stepping forward, I gripped the handle, attempting to pull it open.
But I couldn't turn the knob, I couldn't coordinate the idea and my fingers. The room began to spin in different directions, warping from bright white to deep purple. I had no idea what the hell was going on, or why I suddenly felt so light headed and dizzy.
Leaning against the wall, I tried to call out for Gina, but my voice only echoed inside my head.
And as I watched the room dissolve around me, blackness came in and coated my vision.
***
Sounds started to filter through my ears, mumbles that ran together, faint words that began to form. People were talking all around me, but I still saw nothing.
Slowly, I peeled my lids open, blinking rapidly. Starch white light honed in on my pupils, making me squint.
“Kin, Kin,” Gina spoke quietly into my ear, her fingers gently touching mine. “Can you hear me?”
My throat felt dry, smacking my lips, I said, “That depends, what are you about to say.”
Her hearty laugh echoed through the room. “Yeah, she's coming around.”
As my eyes began to put together the pieces around me, white lab coats took shape. Pressing up in the bed, I squeezed the thin blanket between my fingers. “Am I in the hospital?”
“Yes, and you gave us all quite the scare, Kin.”
“What happened?” I asked, still trying to fit together the last memories.
A voice I didn't recognize slipped in, an unfamiliar face taking shape as they leaned over me. “Ms. Davidson, can you follow this light for me?”
A high beam hit my eyes, forcing me to blink down hard. “Can I have a second to catch my bearings?”
“Sure, I'm sorry, Ms. Davidson. You're at Clarks Memorial, I'm Dr. Gibbons, and let me say, you're a very lucky woman.”
“What the hell happened?”
“Well, you were severely dehydrated, and that triggered a vegal syncopy.”
“A what?”
“You passed out, Kin.” Gina blurted, her hand clasping tightly around mine. “You're lucky I came by, otherwise I don't know what would've happened.”
“Where's Fay?” I snapped, trying desperately to shove myself up in the bed.
“She's fine, Kin. You're mom came and grabbed her after I called the ambulance.”
A sigh of relief fell from my extremely desert stained lips. “I'm so thirsty, can I have some water?”
A nurse chimed in from somewhere in the background. “Absolutely.” The soft patter of her shoes hit the tiles, trailing off into the distance.
“Ms. Davidson, you're going to be fine. But you really need to make sure you drink plenty of water. Have you been under any stress lately, anything going on that might cause you to not do your usual things?”
Shaking my head no, I tried to think quick. “I guess I just got caught up in work and stuff.”
Gina slapped her forehead, babbling under her breath. “Come on, Kin.”
The doctor tapped his pen against the chart, eyeing Gina. “Can I talk to you in private?”
My heart began to race, chest forcing out a loud, worried breath of air. “Why? What's wrong?”
Gina's neck angled, eyes veering down her nose. “I'm her best friend, I'm not going anywhere. What did you find, cancer—a tumor—oh god... Is she dying?” Her tone was amplified in the small emergency ward room as her fingers streaked down over her cheeks.
“No, no,” he said, chuckling softly. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but it's nothing like that.” Flipping through some papers on the clipboard, the doctor went on. “We ran some blood tests on you, and well...” Pausing, he held his hand out, eyes scanning my face. “You're pregnant.”
Did I hear him right?
I'm pregnant?
My stomach began to surge with tingles, warm, explosive, tingles that shot around my body, numbing me from head to toe.
No, I can't be.
But the face of the doctor said he wasn't joking. There was no reason for him to play a sick and twisted joke like that on a patient. A part of me waited in anticipation for him to laugh it off and say, 'No, no, I'm playing around. Sorry, yes you are dying.'
Obviously, that wouldn't have been ethical, or the true conclusion I would want from my blood work. But pregnancy had come out as such an unbelievable factor, that I didn't want to think he was right.
“Wait, no, I can't be.” Shaking my head, I smiled cautiously. “Run the test again, there must be a mistake.”
“There's no mistake, Ms. Davidson. We ran the test three times, and I had it double checked by
several technicians. That's protocol here, and it says you're pregnant.”
“What?!” Gina exclaimed, jumping off the edge of the bed and throwing her hands to her face. “You're pregnant? Did you know?”
Flicking my eyes to my friend, I sat in silent shock.
“You didn't know, Kin, holy crap...” Tapping two fingers against her lips, she asked, “Is it that guy, mattress man? It's him, isn't it?”
The doctor cut in, smiling. “You'll be released to go home soon, but from here on out, you need to make sure you take care of yourself.” Bowing his head, he spun and placed the clipboard back into the holder outside the door.
“Holy, F'ing, crap, Kin.” Gina lowered her body to the small seat at my side. “You dirty little bird you.” Her index finger bounced in the air, wagging at me like I was being scolded. “You didn't tell me that one of your dates actually went all the way! When were you planning on spilling your guts?”
Covering my eyes with my hands, I grumbled. “This was not supposed to be part of it. Shit, Gina, what am I going to do?”
“What are you going to do? First you're going to tell me who the lucky guy is, who is this mattress man?” Crossing her leg, she propped her chin up with one hand.
“Can we talk about this later? I just found out I'm pregnant, I need to figure that out first.”
“What's there to figure out? It's not like you're considering...” Gina's lids expanded, eyes bugging from her head. “Are you? Tell me you're not.”
“What? No, absolutely not, I could never.” Glaring at my friend, I huffed under my breath. “Geeze, Gina.”
“Well, I'm sorry, I just don't understand what's to figure out then.”
What is there to figure out?
Oh, that's right... How to tell Layne that he was going to be a father might be a start.
But how in the world were those words going to fit into his life?
Sitting in the passenger seat of Gina's soccer mom caravan, she kept glancing at me every two seconds.
“Well, are you going to tell me or what?”
“Gina—”
“Don't Gina me, I'm your best friend, you can't leave me in the dark. Tell me everything.”
Wiping my clammy hands against my thighs, I said, “Fine.”
Telling Gina the whole story; from the first date, to the most intense orgasm I had ever received, to Layne basically turning me down; I felt like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders.
I had harbored this attraction, this lust, this deep seeded desire for Layne, and to say it out loud, well... It made me feel better.
Gina was beyond herself, her jaw hanging to the floor. “Kinsley, that is so freaking cute.” Chuckling, she mouthed the name he told my daughter. “Mattress man.”
“It's not cute, this is serious. How am I going to tell him that I'm having his baby.”
“Look, Layne seems like a really decent guy. Even if he doesn't want to be with you right now, it doesn't mean he never will, and it certainly doesn't mean he won't step up and be a father to that baby.”
Nodding in agreement, I wanted so badly to believe her. Layne was a good man, he proved that a few times already.
And he was great with children, even if he didn't realize it yet.
“You're probably right.”
“No, I am right. You just need to find the right time to tell him.”
“He wants me to do one last date, I told him no more after the shit show last time.”
“Go on the last date, that'd be the best way to see him in a neutral zone. Make him happy and feel like he's doing his job, then when the dates over, you tell him.”
“Don't you think it would be weird to drop this news on him right after?”
“No, not at all. You said he doesn't want to mix business and pleasure, so once he's off the clock, you tell him. Besides, this way, Fay isn't around, and you're not calling him up out of the blue, asking him to hang out. He might think something's off with that.”
She might be right.
Did I want to go on another date? No, but it would be the perfect opportunity to talk to him alone. No prying ears, no one else to see his reaction. If he didn't respond the way I was praying he would, and Fay was home, that could be horrible for her.
And if he was all for it, well, we'd have the chance to figure some things out.
Gina might be a wild fire, but she always had a great head on her shoulders.
“Thanks, Gina.”
“That's why I'm here.” Smiling, she held her hand up for a high five.
Smacking her palm, I giggled. “Hey, can you do me a big favor for now?”
“Anything.”
“Please don't tell anyone yet, not even Lynn. I don't want Layne to find out in some twisted six degrees of separation kind of way.”
Gina's lips sealed tight, her fingers locking them closed, and tossing the figurative key out the window.
I couldn't stop the laugh from pressing my lungs and bubbling out. Both of us were tearing with laughter as we pulled up to my house. And it felt good, good to be with a friend who looked at the whole situation from outside the box.
“I'll call you later, alright?” Gina eyed my face, arching a brow.
“Sure, talk to ya later.”
Chapter Sixteen
Layne
Waiting outside the door, I rang the doorbell a second time. The gentle thump of feet started to close in.
“Who is it?” Kinsley's sweet voice sounded from behind the thick wood.
“It's Prince Charming,” I said with a throaty growl.
No sounds crept through the wood, no voices, or murmurs. Knocking gently, I said, “It's Layne, are you going to open the door?”
The metal clank of the lock hit my ears, the door slowly opening to reveal her confused, but beautiful, face. “What are you doing here?” Tight crinkles framed her eyes, sprawling out from the corners.
A piece of me was tempted to smooth them out, draw my finger over her lids and wash away any thoughts that might be fluttering through her mind.
“Well, I have a date today. I tried to call you, but you just kept ignoring me.”
Arching a brow, she answered me like I was losing my mind. “Layne, I told you I was done with the dates.”
A devious smile spread across my face, lifting from ear to ear. “The date's not with you.” Cocking her head, she stared at me under hooded lids. “I'm here for the tea party.”
Fay's loud feet stampeded down the hall, her giant smiling face exploding from around the corner with a squeal. “You came! You came!”
Shifting her gaze between us, Kinsley held her hand up. “Wait, what's going on?”
Side stepping around Kinsley, I held a hand behind my back, and bowed to the hostess. “I was invited for a tea party, and I never break a promise.”
“Tea party?” Kinsley asked, confusion layering her tone.
Fay jumped up and down, her hair flopping into her face and covering her eyes. “Mattress man, I'm so excited! I have a few friends on their way, oh wait...” Her eyes floated down the hall, hand cupping her ear. “I think they just got here. Come on! Come on!”
Fay waved her hand frantically, darting behind the wall, and disappearing. Her feet echoed as she ran, then halted altogether when she reached her room.
Grinning, I flicked my eyes to Kinsley. “I'm glad I'm not late.”
Folding her arms over her chest, she pulled in a deep breath. “Did you really show up here for a tea party?”
Nodding my head, I pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind my back. Plucking a long red rose from the bunch, I handed it to Kinsley. “This is for you, the others are for the tea party.” Winking, I held my arm out and asked, “May I?”
I watched her eyes twinkle with something that burst at the seams. Kinsley looked so happy in that moment, so blown away, and so...
Thankful.
Pinching her chin, her lip arched on the corner. “I can't believe you actually showed up for a tea par
ty. I was wondering what the giant star on Fay's calendar was for.”
“I'll ask the hostess if you can join us too, if you'd like?” Trailing my thumb across her elbow, I drew small circles. “I would love to have you there.”
“Let me check my schedule, I might be having lunch with Bugs Bunny.” Giggling, she pretended to flip through an imaginary itinerary. “Nope, that's tomorrow, looks like I'm free.”
Fay's head popped out from behind the wall. “Come on, the tea party is ready. And the guests are starting to get querulous.” Disappearing again, her feet patted into the distance.
“Querulous?” I asked, tilting my head.
Kinsley rolled her eyes, waving her hand in dismissal. “My mom, she fills her head with words I don't even understand.” Flapping her fingers to urge me forward, she said, “Come on, let's go, we can't be late.”
For the next hour I sat in the tiniest chair ever, pounding back 'watermelon tea,' which was really just water. We also talked in horribly fake British accents, referring to each other as Madame, or Reginald.
That was Fay's idea, and what an incredible imagination that child had. I shook every hand of the other guests, all ten stuffed animals, and asked for more lumps of sugar in a single glass than I think the Queen of England has had in her life.
All we needed were some crumpets, and tiny finger sandwiches, and it would have blown any royal luncheon out of the park.
Through the whole party, Kinsley kept giving me these sappy mom eyes, eating up the excitement from her baby, and the happiness she felt right in that moment.
But I can't lie, I was beyond happy to make that little girl beam from ear to ear. I don't know why I felt this tug on the heart strings for Fay, but watching her light up made the rest of the world's problems seem so unimportant.
“Layne, this was really sweet. Thank you.” Kinsley nudged me with her shoulder, as Fay started to clear all the guests from the table by throwing them so lovingly onto her bed.
That explains the ratty bear.
“It's nothing, it's not everyday you get invited to a royal tea party. How could I pass it up?”
Glancing at her daughter, Kinsley gave her the last tasks to clean up. “Okay, I'm going to walk Layne out.”