by Kim Dare
Ice solidified in his veins. Alfred jerked his gaze up to meet his alpha’s. “Only me?” he demanded. “I’m the only one being sent into the challenge ring?”
“Is there anyone you believe should join you there?” Bennett asked.
“No!” Alfred rushed out. “Only me.” He nodded then, purposely not looking at Caden. There was no way the other gamma could go into the ring. Caden had to be kept safe. He couldn’t be punished because even he couldn’t make Alfred worthy of a place in the pack.
“Only me.” Alfred managed another nod.
Marsdon’s eyes narrowed a fraction. He looked to Caden, but when he turned his attention back to Alfred, all he said was, “Collect up the others and get to work. We all know you know how to make a ring.”
Alfred obeyed the command more quickly than he had followed any order the alpha had ever given him. He rushed out of the kitchen before he dragged Caden down with him. It didn’t take long to find the others. They had all congregated well within shouting distance of the kitchen, every one of them needing to know what was going on in their pack before they had any chance of resting easy in their own skins.
They trailed behind Alfred as he stormed down to a patch of grass that they’d all visited once before, what felt like several lifetimes ago.
The sun shone. A gentle breeze caressed Alfred’s skin. There were even bloody birds singing in the trees. It wasn’t quite what he’d thought hell would look like, but he had no doubt that was exactly where he was. And he quickly set about making it into something capable of casting him down into even hotter flames.
By the time the alphas, Caden and Gunnar joined them, the circle was complete, the grass within it trampled down to make a spacious fighting area. Unable to trust himself if he looked towards Caden, Alfred’s attention focused on Bennett. The alpha seemed so right in his role it was impossible to believe he had ever been accused of being anything but exactly what he was, that Alfred himself had been the one to send him into the ring.
“Into the circle, Alfred,” Marsdon ordered. “Everyone else, move across to the other side.”
The wolves all obediently took up their positions, all except Caden. When Alfred glanced over his shoulder, the other gamma seemed rooted to the spot. He stayed right there until Bennett retrieved him and led him to stand with the rest of the pack. Unable to risk looking higher, Alfred watched Caden’s shoes move to stand right the middle of the pack, surrounded by wolves that would look after him.
That was good. Alfred took a deep breath. Caden was safe. That was the most important thing. That was the only thing.
“You are now in limbo,” Marsdon announced. “Each wolf in our pack will pass through the challenge circle, and you will each have the chance to find out where your natural place will be within our hierarchy if you remain in this pack. When the matter is settled to both your satisfaction, that wolf will pass through to the other side of the circle. Any questions?”
Alfred shook his head.
Marsdon turned away. A look passed between him and Bennett. Each wolf nodded his acceptance of whatever plan they’d silently come up with.
“Francis—you’re up first.”
Alfred quickly turned his attention to Francis. The other gamma wasn’t much bigger than him. Any fight between them would be a close call on the best of days. Alfred pushed his hand through his hair. There was so much adrenaline rushing through his body he was practically shaking, and no one had even landed a single blow.
Very slowly, Francis began to circle him. Alfred matched him move for move as they gradually closed in on each other, their feet passing easily over the trampled-down grass. “What the hell’s going on?” Francis hissed, ducking his head to keep the words just between them.
Alfred shrugged.
“Tell me,” Francis commanded. “You’re not the only one this will affect!”
“You have no right to issue orders to me,” Alfred spat.
Anger flashed in Francis’ eyes. He lunged forward. Alfred reacted just in time, stepping to the side and neatly dodging the attack. Twisting around, he caught hold of Francis’ arm and used the other wolf’s own momentum to send him crashing to the ground. Pouncing on him, Alfred pinned him down against the flatted grass.
“I’m not Steffan!” Alfred growled into his ear, his brain unable to keep any of his instincts in check for a moment longer. “He might like taking orders from you, but I don’t!”
Francis bucked. The world span. Alfred landed heavily on his back. His head thudded against the earth. Before he could focus, Francis was gripping his shoulders. “Maybe if you acted like you could make a good decision on your own, I wouldn’t have to—”
“When have I had the chance?” Alfred bit out, twisting and almost managing to throw the other man off.
“What?”
“I can’t make a good decision if I’m never given the chance, can I?” Alfred growled.
Francis stared down at him as if he really didn’t have a clue what was going on. “You want to move up the hierarchy. This is all just because you want to outrank me?”
Alfred swallowed, but the answer that bubbled up inside him came from a part of his brain that was too ancient to understand words. He nodded, careful not to tilt his head back too far and display any sort of submission.
Francis’ guard seemed to falter. The same instinctive part of Alfred’s mind that had told him to nod prompted him into immediate action. The world tumbled around them. Their positions were once more reversed.
Alfred’s hands quickly found Francis’ wrists and pinned him to the ground. The other wolf tensed, completely unable to hide how much he hated being held down. A frown passed across Francis’ brow as he seemed to fight against his revulsion in an effort to think more clearly. He was always thinking, always studying the world around him, weighing up the evidence.
Against all logic, Alfred somehow found himself pulling back from a certain victory. Releasing the other wolf’s wrists, he merely loomed over the prone wolf, casting a shadow over Francis’ body as the sun beat down on the back of his neck.
If he was to have any chance of convincing Francis he deserved to outrank him, he needed to gain his respect. There would be no triumph in being accepted simply because doing that would be the quickest way for Francis to get out of a position he loathed.
Francis stared up at Alfred, studying him for what felt like an eternity with no hint of submission in his eyes. Alfred could damn near see the wheels in the other wolf’s head turning.
Finally Francis nodded. “I have no objection to seeing what you could do with a higher rank,” he allowed. Even though he chose his words with obvious caution, his tone practically screamed that he really didn’t care one way or another where he actually stood in the hierarchy between the gammas.
For several seconds, Alfred was speechless.
“But that doesn’t mean I won’t make your life a living hell if you hurt Steffan—in this ring or out of it,” Francis added.
That was what he really cared about. His mate. For the first time in his life, Alfred didn’t think the other man a fool for that.
Francis dropped his eyes, just once and just for a moment, but it was enough. Success rushed through Alfred, unlike anything he’d ever known. As he pulled himself to his feet, he found himself instinctively offering to help the other wolf up, too.
A hint of surprise made it into Francis’ eyes, but he didn’t say anything. He merely nodded to him before turning away and making his way to the opposite side of the challenge circle.
Alfred turned back to the wolves on the other side of the ring. Their expressions varied tremendously, but the most common ones by far were shock and curiosity. Alfred’s guard was down as he looked across the line. He forgot why he wasn’t supposed to risk looking one particular wolf in the eye.
Caden was so pale, it seemed as if it was only Bennett’s arm around his shoulders that was keeping Caden on his feet. His eyes seemed very big, even bluer than eve
r. As Alfred watched, Caden swallowed rapidly, as if he was barely keeping his emotions in check. Alfred took a step forward, his hand already rising from his side as he instinctively reached out to Caden.
“Steffan,” Bennett suddenly said.
Alfred blinked. He turned his attention back to the rest of the pack just in time to see the big wolf move forward to take his turn.
Stepping into the circle, Steffan squared up against Alfred, just as tradition suggested he should, but Alfred couldn’t seem to make his muscles work. He remained exactly where he was. Turning his head, he looked from the pack, to Francis, and back to the other wolves once more.
No one there wanted to see the gentle giant hurt, not even Alfred himself. If it were Caden in there, then… The very idea of it sent a wave of horror through him, turning his stomach. He’d want to kill anyone who raised a hand to his mate. He could hardly blame another man for feeling the same way.
Without making even the vaguest attempt at a fighting stance, Alfred stepped forward and closed the gap between himself and the larger wolf.
Steffan hesitated. He looked to Francis for guidance, his eyes flicking quickly from his mate back to Alfred, as if he wasn’t sure if he was about to be caught in some sort of trap or not.
“We all know you’re stronger than me,” Alfred said. As hard as the words were to utter, he knew there was no avoiding them. “Every wolf in the pack knows who would win any fight against you, if that was all the challenge circle was about.”
And, for so many years, every wolf in the pack had automatically assumed Steffan should outrank him because of it. Pushing down that knowledge, Alfred kept his chin tilted up and his eyes on Steffan’s face. The longer he stood in the circle, the more clearly his thoughts seemed to settle into his head. Size and strength meant less than nothing.
Steffan remained silent. Their eyes were locked. The other gamma didn’t lower his gaze, but Alfred could almost feel his desire to do so filling the circle.
“Do you care what your rank in the pack is?” Alfred asked. ”Or how many gamma wolves outrank you?”
Steffan looked across at Francis for a brief moment, then back to Alfred again.
“Francis isn’t going to love you any more or less if you keep trying to give me orders or if I start issuing them to you,” Alfred pointed out.
Steffan’s lips curved into a slight smile. “I know.”
All Alfred could do then was wait. Steffan knew what Alfred was asking him to do. He had to realise it was all in his hands, whether he wanted it or not. It seemed to take a lifetime for the huge wolf to make a decision, but finally, Steffan’s gaze dropped to the trampled-down grass.
Alfred could have kissed him for that tiny little sign of submission. He resisted the temptation. There was no need to make Francis charge back into the circle in a fit of jealousy—no need at all to piss off either of the two wolves who suddenly seemed willing to give him the chance he’d been waiting for his whole life.
Steffan took a step towards the other side of the circle to join his mate, carefully walking around Alfred.
“Wait there.”
Alfred’s attention snapped towards Marsdon. Steffan turned to face the alpha too, a guilty look creeping into his eyes, as if they’d been caught doing something dirty.
“Tradition states that wolves have to lay a hand on each other while they are in the circle.”
Alfred turned back to face Steffan once more. The other gamma was obviously waiting for him to decide what their next move should be. Alfred hesitated. He already outranked the other wolf. The idea of lashing out at a man below him in the hierarchy filled his mouth with a bitter taste.
Without even tapping into the part of his mind that understood anything above instinct, he found himself holding his hand out towards Steffan. A much larger hand engulfed his palm as they politely shook hands.
Alfred glanced towards Marsdon. One nod confirmed that the letter of the law had been satisfied. As Steffan moved towards Francis, Alfred looked to the others.
For reasons best known to themselves, Marsdon and Bennett seemed to have given him the easiest challenges first. Steffan and Francis had always had less interest in rank than any other wolves he’d known. No other member of the pack would be so easy going.
“Gunnar—you’re up next.”
Alfred didn’t curse. He kept his lips tightly shut and avoided uttering a single word to make sure that would be the case.
So, this was where it really started. He felt the atmosphere change and realised that everyone else knew it too. They were all well aware of how much Gunnar hated him—and how much he had wound up and pissed off the beta during their time there.
Talbot touched Gunnar’s arm, stopping the beta before he could actually step into the circle. Dipping his head, Gunnar whispered something into the little wolf’s ear before pressing a kiss to his temple and resuming his progress towards Alfred.
Pure confidence swirled around the beta like a tornado ready to destroy anything in its path. There was no doubt that he cared enough to make up for Francis and Steffan’s near-ambivalence about rank. There would be no token challenge.
Alfred took a deep breath. If he didn’t square up against the beta it would just hurt all the worse when the other man charged at him. Gunnar took a fighting stance and raised an eyebrow at Alfred, as if warning him that no one would be playing bloody silly games this time around.
Alfred took the hint and took up a suitable posture. He tried to take yet another deep breath, but all the air rushed out of his lungs as he hit the ground hard enough to make his teeth rattle in his head.
When he opened his eyes, Gunnar was right there, his nose an inch from Alfred’s face, a deep growl emanating from the back of his throat.
Chapter Six
Alfred dipped his gaze without wasting time on a first, let alone a second, thought. Instincts were flying through him now, freed of all the anger that had bubbled inside him for as long as he could remember.
Gunnar was a beta and Alfred knew right then, in a way he never really had before, that it was the rank Gunnar belonged in. He hadn’t been given the rank because he looked like a beta, he’d been given it because he was a beta right down to the core.
Even as Alfred turned his head and stared down at the battered grass to his left, he began to understand what it was to want to belong to a pack where there were wolves that outranked him, not because life was unfair, but because they should outrank him. In one blinding flash it felt both right and safe to know that there were wolves in the pack that were above him, watching over him and the other gammas.
“Now?” Gunnar demanded, still barely an inch away from his nose. “Now you decide you want to stop acting like a brat?”
Alfred risked a glance up. The other man was so close he was blurry.
“No,” he whispered. “I just realised that I don’t want to be a beta.”
“And that makes everything okay?” Gunnar growled. “It makes what you said to Caden a few minutes ago okay?”
Alfred swallowed rapidly. The other man might as well have thrust his fist straight into his chest and squeezed his fingers around his heart, stopping it from ever taking another beat.
Everything he had said to Caden played back in his head, and there was no way to escape it. “I was wrong to say that,” Alfred whispered.
“Yes,” Gunnar bit out. “You were.”
“I love him.” Alfred had had no intention of saying those words to anyone, and to Gunnar least of all, but suddenly they had already been spoken and it was too late to change that. Each syllable hung in the middle of the challenge circle, all pink and fluffy with pretty little hearts and sparkles decorating the air around them.
The beta growled again, but there seemed to be more frustration than anger in his grumbling now.
Alfred watched Gunnar carefully as the beta pulled back. Every muscle in the more dominant wolf’s body was bunched up so tightly, it was almost impossible to believe he wasn�
��t going to explode and lunge at him at any moment.
Gunnar wasn’t looking at him in return. His attention was on the wolves still waiting to cross the challenge circle. He growled again as he turned back to Alfred.
“Just because I’ve no interest in seeing someone my brother is stupid enough to care about being thrown out of the pack, that doesn’t mean I like you or that I forgive you for anything,” he bit out.
The beta was still crouched down, as if ready to attack, but Alfred somehow managed to gather up every scrap of courage at his disposal and sit up.
“If you ever hurt Talbot or Caden, I’ll make you wish I’d killed you in this circle,” Gunnar warned.
Alfred slowly nodded his understanding.
Gunnar jerked himself abruptly to his feet and strode over to the far side of the circle without a word, leaving Alfred sitting all alone in the centre of the flattened grass.
The next wolves to pass through the circle were the other gammas. They’d all seen what had passed between him and the first three visitors to the circle. A little bit of rough and tumble was a small price to pay for seeing four more wolves move past him to the other side of the circle.
A couple of sneaky blows from men he had taken his own fair share of digs at over the years weren’t so entirely unexpected. He took them with all the grace he could muster, knowing he probably had them coming. But it was only when he failed to return them that the other wolves retreated in apparent confusion.
As he watched the last of his fellow gammas leave the ring, Alfred wiped the blood away from his split lip with the back of his hand. His ribs burned from a well-aimed kick. His head span from a harsh blow. He knew that by morning, there would be a dozen other parts of his body that would be calling him a fool for not hitting back, but it was hard to believe that any of that mattered.
Success pounded through him like the heartbeat of the universe. Gunnar was the only wolf who had refused to yield his place in the hierarchy to him. Alfred stood in the middle of the challenge ring, the highest ranking gamma in the pack.