by Anne Mather
She took a shower, luxuriating in the fall of the water against her flesh, twisting and turning beneath the flow until a tingling warmth enveloped her. Then she towelled herself dry, and tossing the shower cap aside was pulling on her silk robe as she re-entered the bedroom.
The door to the dressing room stood wide, and she frowned, running questing fingers through her tumbled hair. She could have sworn it had been closed when she first entered the bedroom. Then, before she had time to formulate any decision, Alex appeared in the open doorway, his shirt unbuttoned to the waist, his feet bare.
Immediately her breathing became ragged, and she had to control the tremor in her voice, as she asked: "What are you doing?"
Alex flexed his shoulder muscles. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to bed, of course. What else would I be doing when my wife chooses to retire?"
"I - but - there was no need - "
"I choose to think there was."
Charlotte held up her head. "Why? Has Irena gone to bed too?"
Alex's mouth tightened. "Not so far as I am aware."
"I'm surprised," muttered Charlotte, turning her back on him, and picking up her hair brush. "Perhaps you should go and find out!"
"What's it to you?" he snapped.
"I - why, nothing. Of course."
"So why make that kind of bitchy remark?"
Charlotte shook her head. "I am supposed to be your wife."
"So?"
Charlotte half turned towards him, her eyes sparkling angrily. "Well, what kind of relationship do you suppose your uncle will think we have if you spend your time pawing his niece?" she demanded.
"I was not -pawing his niece !" retorted Alex coldly.
"All right. Letting her paw you, then !"
Alex came right into the room, halting a short distance from her, obviously controlling his temper with difficulty. "Irena was not pawing mel"
"Oh, no?" Charlotte couldn't prevent the challenge. "Then what would you call it? Or is it some old Greek custom
I don't know about that permits-an unmarried girl to flaunt herself in front of any married man who takes her fancy?"
"Charlotte!"
"Well !! mean it. The way you were dancing, it - it was disgusting!"
Alex covered the space between them, grasping her by the shoulders, "Believe it or not, but Irena does not attract me in that way at all"
Charlotte stifled a gulp. "No? You must be a tremendous actor, then!"
"Oh, Charlotte!" There was an agonized torment in his tone. His hands slid over her shoulders and down her back to her hips, impelling her towards him, moulding her body to his so that she was made overwhelmingly aware of the fact that if Irena did not arouse him, she most certainly did. "Charlotte, God - don't you know?" It's you I want, you I need. And if I’ve succeeded in making you jealous, then I'm glad. Because I don't know how the hell I'm expected to sleep in there knowing you're only a few feet away."
His hands cupped her head, turning her face tip to his, and with a feeling of inevitability, Charlotte felt her mouth moving eagerly under his. What was the use of denying it? She had been jealous. And she wanted him, too. Her hands were as urgent as his as they slid his shirt off his brown, muscular shoulders, and the world slid away …
Things looked different in the morning. She awakened with a delicious sense of lethargy which was swiftly dissipated by the discovery that she was alone in the bed. A check on her watch advised her that it was after ten o'clock, and a little of her anxiety eased. Alex was not a late sleeper at any time, and with guests in the house ... Guests!
Charlotte got out of bed, swaying a little as a trace of dizziness attacked her. She had not been troubled by it much lately, but hunger was gnawing at her stomach, and she guessed this was the reason for her lightheadedness. Alex must have told Tina not to disturb her.
Alex! .
As she took her bath, she allowed the memory of the previous night to envelop her. It had been a devastating experience, a complete submergence of herself in a mutual consummation of their need for one another. Alex had been gentle and considerate, demanding and passionate, teaching her how to please him and in so doing please herself. She had welcomed the urgency of his desire, discovered that making love could last for hours and hours. Little wonder she felt so lazy this morning.
But gradually, as she lay there, a little worm of anxiety threaded the veil of indolence. What was she doing, lying here, luxuriating in a relationship which to Alex meant no more than a satisfaction of his senses? What manner of woman was she that she could find such enjoyment in reliving what had been after all just a sexual experience?
She levered herself upright in the bath, the clouds of fantasy dispersing rapidly. What was the matter with her, daydreaming about a man who had been indirectly responsible for her father's death and who had forced her to marry him to produce an heir? Was she going mad, that she could actually betray her father's memory in this way?
She finished washing and stepped out of the water, wrapping herself in a bath towel. She was a fool! Hadn't she just granted him licence to do with her as he willed, and all for no purpose except his own self-gratification? And why? Because he could arouse her senses, because she liked his hands upon her, because she delighted in the hardness of his male body against hers?
She threw the towel away and reached for her underwear. Yes, those things were true, but there was something else, something which even now she was loath to even consider. Her feelings for Alex had changed. She still hated him at times, hated his power over her. But more important was the realization that her reasons for allowing him into her bed were
not just the simple ones of mutual wanting and need. Subtly and elusively, almost without her being aware of it, he had become important to her, desperately important. He was no. longer just the roan of whom her rather had despaired, the jailor who had taken her as his prisoner, the relentless plunderer of her innocence. He was her husband, in every sense of the word, and she was in love with him.
She found Eleni and Franco lingering over their coffee at the table, but there was no sign of anyone else. After greeting her, however, and asking after her health, Eleni enlightened her. "Ales has taken Irena to the mainland," she told Charlotte casually, unaware of how this news might affect her grandson's wife. "You were still sleeping when they left, so Alex did not like to wake you."
Charlotte gripped the edge of the table tightly. "Why - why would be do that? Take — Irena to the mainland? She only arrived yesterday."
"Oh, I think she had forgotten some last-minute shopping,' replied Eleni lightly. "Sit down, pethi. You look quite pale, doesn't she, Franco? It's just as well Alex didn't suggest you should go with them."
Charlotte sat down because she felt that if she didn't she might easiiy fall down. But her appetite had fled, and this time it refused to respond to other demands. When Eleni summoned Tina and ordered the usual tea and rolls, Charlotte felt physically sick, and it was all she could do to remain where she was. Why had Alex agreed to take Irena to the mainland? Surely he must have known how she would feel about it? Or didn't he care? Those protestations last night — iad they been no more than a means to an end? A way to get her to agree to his demands when he must have suspected she was likely to refuse?
But what more could she expect in all honesty? Alex had never, at any time, professed love for her. Lust, yes - desire, of course. Never the emotion which he had so carelessly aroused in her. She had been a fool ever to think otherwise, to delude herself with thoughts that he could not have made such unselfish love to her without feeling anything more than passion. What was it he had said, about when he needed relief? That he would come to her. And he had. And she had allowed herself to be duped by it
As soon as she could, she escaped outside. She needed to be alone, to have time to think and to plan. One thing was certain in her mind. She could not continue living like this, a brunt for his ill humour, a convenience for his sexual impulses. She had
kept her part of the bargain - the contract. She had married him, and the child she had conceived would be born in wedlock. But there was nothing in the contract which said she had to live with him for the full nine months of her pregnancy. It didn't matter that there was no one waiting for her in England, it was still her home, and the house in Glebe Square beckoned like a shining beacon. How glad she was that she had kept the house on - her refuge, the bolthole she had foreseen herself needing. But never in such circumstances....
The isolation of the island presented the greatest problem. Had they been living anywhere where there was public transport available, she might well have written Alex a letter and left without seeing him. But Lydros's situation prevented such behaviour. She would need help to leave the island, and no one here was likely to risk thwarting their master's wishes in such a way. Besides, whatever cowardly impulses she had had in the past, she owed it to Alex to tell him what she planned to do. While she had few illusions about his concern for her, she knew he would feel concern for his unborn child, and she would have to assure him that she intended doing nothing to risk harming the baby's health.
But that interview promised to be a stormy one, and she awaited his return from the mainland with quivering anticipation. What if he tried to persuade her against leaving? she thought tremulously. What if he used the power he undoubtedly had over her to coax her to stay? How could she resist him when she loved him - when the idea of life without him looked grey and depressing?
She found a solution. So long as she remembered what he had done to her father, so long as she could summon the image of her father's bloated body after it was fished from the sea, she would stand firm.
The helicopter flew in over the villa while Charlotte was resting on the bed after lunch. She had not slept, but at least here she did not have to pretend a brightness she did not feel. Even so, she was surprised when five minutes after the helicopter landed Alex came into the bedroom. Then bitterness overwhelmed her. Of course, his grandmother would expect this kind of behaviour from him.
Nevertheless, her determination almost wavered at the tenderness of his expression, and the softness of his voice when he said: "Hello, love. How are you feeling?"
She pushed herself up on her elbows, and faced him stoically. "Do you care?"
"Oh, God!" Alex pushed his hair back off his forehead. "Of course I care."
"You do? Oh, yes, I was forgetting. If I'm not well, the baby's not well either." Charlotte was scathing. "Well, reassure yourself, we're both doing fine!"
Alex came down on the side of the bed, dose beside her. In a dark green suede suit and cream silk shirt, smelling of a mixture of alcohol, tobacco and body heat, he was disturbingly attractive, and there was a moment when a small traitorous voice inside her urged her to take what he offered on whatever terms. But then sanity prevailed, and she moved her hand away from his thigh.
"What's been going on?" he asked impatiently, noticing the gesture. "Didn't Eleni tell you where I'd gone?"
"Yes. Taking Irena to the mainland. How nice for Irena! Couldn't George have done it? He was good enough for me."
Alex ground his teeth together. "You have no need to be jealous. George was with us. Or did that little item slip your notice? Irena wanted to do some shopping, and as George and I needed to go into the Athens office, she came along."
Charlotte almost faltered. George had been missing at lunchtime, but she had assumed he was working. Still, that did not alter the basic inadequacies of the situation. Alex was still using her, and would continue to do so just so long as it suited him. She didn't think she could stand much more.
Taking a deep breath, she said: "I want to go back to London, Alex."
There was several moments' stunned silence, and then Alex slowly got up from the bed. "You want to go back to London?" he echoed coldly. "Might I ask why?"
Charlotte swallowed convulsively. "There - there's nothing to stop me, is there? I mean, there's nothing in the contract about me having to live here, is there?'
Alex turned to face her, his brows drawn together in a scowl. "Let me get this straight," he said, and she realized he was shaken. "You want to go back and live in London?"
"Yes. Till the baby's born, anyway. Afterwards - afterwards, I might travel for a while."
"You're suggesting I should allow my wife to go and live alone in London?" Alex drew a savage breath. "Charlotte, you're out of your mind! Do you realize that if some unscrupulous villain discovers who you are, you'll be fair game for-every would-be kidnapper in the business !"
Charlotte's lips trembled. "You're exaggerating!"
"Am II" His fists balled. "Well, I won't allow it!"
"How are you going to stop me? By force?"
Alex heaved a sigh. "Charlotte, what is this? Last night -last night.-.. Oh, God, you know what I'm trying to say. Last night was - marvellous ! Then today I'm out for what -four, maybe five hours, and when I come back you tell me you're leaving me? Charlotte, I won't let you do this to me!"
"You can't stop mel" she exkimed, drawing up her knees on the bed and wrapping her arms around them.
"Charlotte-"
He sat down beside her again, his hand seeking the curve of her nape under her hair. She longed to rub her neck against his hand, to allow him to draw her closer and silence her mouth with those possessive searching kisses that seemed to draw the strength out of her and left her weak and clinging to him. But she thought of her father, and flinched away.
"Don't touch me I" She almost spat the words, and he withdrew his hand and stood up again.
"So that's it!" he muttered. "You're ashamed of what happened last night. You can't reconcile the way you behaved with the way you think you ought to feell"
"You're wrong?" she burst out, knowing he was too near the troth far comfort "I didn't feel anything. And my flesh creeps when I think of what I let you do to me!"
Alex's face twisted. "You actually believe that?"
“I know it's the truth. All right, you can make me do things. But I don't enjoy it. And I despise myself afterwards. I hate you, Alex Faulkner. I'll never stop hating you. And I can't wait for the day when you'll have your son and I'll be free of you!"
Alex stood motionless, listening to her tirade, and when she was done, he said: "Very well. If that's the way you want it. I shan't bother you again. But I cannot and will not allow you to go and live in London!"
"What?"
He thrust his hands into his trousers pockets, unknowingly tautening the doth across his thighs. "I am not prepared to allow you to risk your life regardless of your feelings towards me. But - " he paused, " - as my presence here appears to be the problem, I am prepared to stay away until after the child is born. Arrangements will be made for a doctor and nurse to come and stay at the villa several weeks before the baby is due, and you will receive every attention. Indeed, I have today contacted our own doctor and asked him to come and examine you next week, just to make sure everything is well. After the birth - well, as you say, that is something else."
Charlotte listened to him with an aching heart. Of course that was what she wanted, for him to stay away from her. And she could see that she would be safer here, among people who cared about her, than alone in London. But how could she deprive him of his home - even temporarily?
"You can't do that," she protested. "What would your grandmother think?"
"A lot less than she would think if you left me and went back to London," he retorted rather wearily. "Well? Does that meet with your approval?"
"This island is your home..."
"I have many houses - apartments." He walked towards the door. "Home is a word I rarely use." He looked back at her. "You do appreciate that I will have to stay over the next few days, until Christmas is over? I promise not to get in your hair. I'll have to sleep in the dressing room, but you can lock the door if you like."
Charlotte could feel the prick of tears behind her eyes. It was always like this. He could arouse her co
mpassion without even trying, and she knew a moment's despair for her weakness.
Then she squared her shoulders and straightened her back. "I shan't lock the door," she said steadily. "You're my husband. You have a legal right to share my bed."
"Cold comfort," remarked Alex bitterly. "No, thanks."
The door banged behind him.
As luck, or perhaps fate, would have it, Charlotte was not at all well on Christmas Day. She had developed a severe cold from somewhere, and consequently had a ready-made excuse not to join in the family celebrations.
She was touched, however, by the presents she received in return for her small gifts; a knitted scarf from Maria, sheepskin mules from Tina and Sophia, an embroidered handkerchief from Cristof. Irena had bought her some perfume, rather an exotic blend, which Charlotte secretly thought would suit the other girl far better than herself, Eleni produced a finely stitched smock which would come in very useful later and even Franco had a box of candies for her.
All of them were going to the service at the small church in the village that morning, but before they left Alex came in to see her. She had not seen him alone since the afternoon two days ago when she had told him she wanted to leave, and as she had left his present with the others in the lounge, she had not expected his personal thanks.
"I have a small present for you," he told her, standing just inside the open door, his eyes guarded. "If you feel up to it, I'll fetch it in.”
Charlotte looked puzzled. "If I feel up to it? Oh, I'm all right, really."
He inclined his head, and left the room, returning moments later with a squirming mass of amber-coloured fur. Charlotte clasped her hands together, staring at him- with wide eyes, and he bent and desposited the creature on the floor. It was a spaniel puppy, plump and excited, careering round the bedroom with a complete disregard for the furniture.
"Oh, Alex !" Charlotte slid her feet out of bed, calling to to the dog, grasping its wriggling body as it tried to jump up at her. "Alex, it's beautiful!" Tears welled into her eyes. "I don't know what to say."