“What about girls who don’t want help?” she says bitterly.
“Like you?”
With her arms folded in front of her, she glares at me.
“Or do you mean girls like Kandy?” I persist, hoping not to press her hot buttons.
She rolls her eyes toward the ceiling. “Yeah, well, Kandy likes her life just the way it is. She gets high in exchange for … all of this. Someday she’ll wake up dead.”
“Will she die from an overdose? Or will she be murdered?”
Tatiana shrugs.
“How do you guys endure this?”
Tatiana looks like she wants to hit me, and I know I should be a little more cautious. Except that I feel desperate to get through to her.
“I know you’re tough. Probably the toughest girl in this house. And you’re good at pretending this life is no big deal. But I also know you’re definitely not happy in this life.”
She leans against the wall, sliding back down to the floor and pulling her knees up in front of her, almost in a fetal position. I don’t want to push this girl too hard, but I don’t want to lose this moment either.
“And I know Ruby isn’t happy. Neither is Desiree. How can any of you be? You have no rights. You get beat up. They’ll use you and lose you … and go out and find another girl.”
She lifts her head, giving me a bored look, as if nothing I’m saying even registers with her. “Sure, you can come in here and act like you have all the answers, Serena. And you can pretend you’re better than us … and like you’re going to escape this hellhole.” She narrows her eyes. “But in the end, you’re stuck here. Just like us.”
“But I won’t be — ”
“Listen!” She points her finger at me. “Once you’ve spent some time with Mr. T tomorrow night” — she shakes her head in a dismal way — “well, maybe by then you’ll understand how we feel — what our lives are really like. Until then, you should just keep your big mouth shut!”
There’s a long silent pause now. Her words have a chilling effect on me and I’m sure she knows it. She knows how much I’m dreading tomorrow. Yet somehow I want to convey confidence. And I want her to trust me … so she will help me.
“I know you think it’s hopeless,” I say quietly. “But I still believe God is going to spare me.” I brace myself for her sarcastic laughter, which comes as predicted, and then I continue. “I know, you think I’m crazy, but I’ve really been praying. And I honestly believe God is going to get me out of here — before Mr. T. Somehow I’m going to get out of here.”
“Like your little torch-the-house escape plan?” She looks disgusted. “That worked so well for you.”
“At least I haven’t given up. Not like some people.”
Her dark eyes narrow. “Are you saying I’ve given up?”
“Haven’t you?”
She gently runs her finger back and forth over her swollen lip. It looks like she’s thinking … I can only hope. Without saying anything, I just wait, silently praying that God will help me to get through to her.
“You seem like an intelligent person to me,” I finally break the silence. Okay, this is a tactic I’ve learned from watching Dr. Phil. When he wants to get someone’s attention, someone who’s being difficult or hard, he will catch them off guard with a compliment. It’s worth a try.
Her eyes flicker with interest.
“And despite everything you’ve been through, and I’m sure it’s a lot, you still seem like a strong person. Like you really don’t want to be anyone’s slave. Like you could still be in charge of your life … well, as much as possible … under the circumstances.”
“What’s your point?” She gives me her bored look again, but at least I know it’s an act now.
“My point is that you could have a really great life, if you wanted it.” Now I stand and start pacing, gathering my words. “Seriously, Tatiana, you’re smart. I can tell. I know you could finish school or get your GED. Then you could go to college and you could probably get a really good job.” I pause to watch her expression and I can tell she’s listening. “And maybe you’d meet a great guy … or even get married and have — ”
“A great guy who wants to marry someone like me?” She narrows her eyes. “Get real.”
“It could happen — everything I just said could become a reality. If you believe in yourself.”
“What I can’t believe is how someone like you — someone who claims to know all about God — can act like a girl like me can turn it around so easily. Seriously, are you that naive? Do you honestly think I’ll ever have anything besides this kind of life? I deserve what I have, Serena. Don’t you get that?”
“But God has so much more for — ”
“No! According to what I’ve heard about your Mr. Goody Two-Shoes God, he is not real fond of bad girls like me. He has fire and brimstone for sinners and — ”
“That is where you are dead wrong,” I cut her off. “God is not like that at all. He loves us all so much that he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to earth. And Jesus, who has the same power as God, gave up everything in order to forgive us and restore us to God. And just so you know, while Jesus was living on earth, he reached out to everyone. I mean, he was friends with people from all walks. He hung with hookers and thieves and all sorts of losers.”
She looks surprised by my unexpected sermon. I’m actually a little surprised myself, but I think maybe God helped me with those words.
I go over to the window and look out. I want to give her time to chew on what I just said. And as I stand there, I pray for God to do a miracle in Tatiana’s heart. Or at least to make her trust me.
… [CHAPTER 16]………………
After what feels like nearly an hour, Tatiana speaks up. “Do you honestly believe what you just said? About God and Jesus?”
“Absolutely,” I assure her. “Every word of it.”
“But how do you know it’s really true?”
“You mean that God loves you and wants to forgive you?”
“Yeah.”
“All my life, my mom and I have gone to a church where they preach the Bible. So I grew up hearing all of that. And I’ll admit I went through a rough spell a few years ago, when I doubted everything, including God. But then I was at a summer camp where I experienced God’s love and forgiveness for myself, and it all just connected and made sense. And I completely committed my life to him. Ever since then I’ve been reading the Bible and experiencing these things for myself.”
“And what you said about Jesus being with hookers and all that? Is that really in the Bible? Is it true?”
“Absolutely. Jesus was really drawn to people with problems. He reached out to anyone who was down and out. I swear it’s true. And that’s how God is too. He’s just waiting for us to realize how much we need him. Sometimes you have to get really low to reach the place where you can look up. God wants us to be so needy that we cry out to him for help and — ”
“And you’ve been doing that, right?” Skepticism creeps back into her voice.
“Yeah …” I brace myself for her attack.
Tatiana’s dark eyes glimmer with meanness as she waves her hand toward me. “But you’re still here, Serena. And your date with Mr. T is still tomorrow.”
“It’s not over yet,” I say calmly. “I’m trusting God’s goodness to take care of me.”
To my surprise, her expression softens slightly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t pick on you just because you have faith. And I shouldn’t keep throwing Mr. T in your face. You’ll get that soon enough.”
I’m touched that she actually seems sorry. But at the same time, her jabs about my upcoming date are unnerving. “Hey, I can’t deny that I’m in a low place right now. Seriously, since being kidnapped and brought here, I’ve never cried and prayed so much in my life. But at the same time, I refuse to quit believing that God’s going to help me.”
“Yeah … well, that’s cool … for you I mean. Whatever it takes to get you through the day.�
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“Prayer does get me through the day. But as much as I’ve been praying for myself to get out of here, I’ve also been praying for everyone else in this house. Including you.” I sigh. “I even pray for Jimmy, although it’ll be harder now that he’s turned into such a bully.”
Tatiana doesn’t respond.
“And just so you know, when I do make it out of here, I plan to go to the FBI or some form of trusty law enforcement. And I will tell them everything I know about everyone and everything that’s going on here. Including the twenty-three women and children being held down in the basement right now.”
“You mean if you escape. But just so you know, if you do get out of here somehow, which I doubt, this place will be cleared out within the hour,” Tatiana says glumly.
“How is that even possible?”
“Tom’s connections. Believe me, Serena, I know what I’m talking about. That’s just one more motivation for us to keep you safely here. We don’t want to leave. We like this house. It’s a lot better than the other places.”
“But what about the people downstairs? They probably don’t like it. And what about Jimmy being so upset that Tom sent them here? Doesn’t that change things?”
Tatiana frowns. “Maybe … maybe not … it’s hard to say what’s around the next corner. And people come and go. No matter where you are, nothing stays the same for long.”
“How can you stand to live like this?” I say urgently. “Never knowing if you’re going to be thrown into the back of a truck and sent off somewhere else? And what if you got shipped off to a foreign country? It’s like you have absolutely no control over anything.”
She makes a slight shrug.
“Are you saying you’re okay with all that?”
“Of course not. But what choice do I have?”
“You could help me get out of here!”
She laughs, and although it sounds hollow, there’s no meanness in it this time. “Look around you, Serena. How are you going to break out?”
“I don’t know. But somehow I will.” Now I lock gazes with her. “And when I do get out of here, do you even want me to send back help for you?”
She sadly shakes her head. “Don’t waste your time. I’m sure we’ll all be long gone by the time your so-called help arrives.”
I bite my lip and try to figure out an answer to this. I know what she’s saying and I hate to admit that it makes sense … but it does. “Well, as hopeless as everything seems, I’m still praying,” I say finally. “God is bigger and stronger than all of this. I believe he wants to help the helpless.”
I pick up a book that Ruby loaned me, sitting in a stack with the other two. “I know Ruby’s real name. And where she used to live, too. I plan to let the authorities know. So they can help her.”
Tatiana looks doubtful. “How would you know her name or where she’s from?”
I point to the book. “It’s in there. She’s Ruth McKay from Nampa, Idaho.”
Tatiana shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Maybe, but it might be useful in finding Ruby’s mom. And I’m sure she must care about her daughter. My information will give her a better idea of how to search for Ruby. Anyway, it can’t hurt.”
“Ruby does need to get out of here,” Tatiana says unexpectedly.
I nod eagerly. “Yeah. We all do.”
“But especially Ruby.” Tatiana looks concerned. “I know this is going to kill her. She’s not strong enough.”
I feel a lump in my throat now. Who is strong enough?
“And thanks for not telling Jimmy that Ruby’s the one who let you out this morning. She woke me up … said she heard you yelling and I just ignored her. I’m sure that’s why she came down here and let you out. But Jimmy would’ve beaten her if he’d known. She already had a pretty rough night last night.”
“I noticed.” It’s incredibly reassuring to see how much Tatiana cares about Ruby. “Can’t you see why I want to help her?”
She nods.
“Why I want to help all of you.” I pause. “Maybe if you told me your real name, I could help you, too.”
Tatiana just shrugs. “It’s not like it’s going to make any difference one way or the other. I don’t care if you know my real name.”
“Great.”
“Tamara Bishop. I’m from the Seattle area.”
“So how’d you get to this place?” I try to make this sound like a casual question. Like two friends just having a conversation.
“Same old story as a lot of girls my age.”
“How old are you anyway?”
“Seventeen.”
“So by same old story, you mean that you ran away from home and Jimmy found you and took you in?”
“No. Not that same story. Not exactly anyway. It started happening last year. Although, come to think of it, my parents and I hadn’t gotten along for years. My older brother and sister were out of the house. And suddenly it was like my parents were so obsessed with their own lives that they kinda forgot about me. And I’ll admit that I probably did the wrong things to get their attention. When I got in trouble, they would get really mad and ground me for like forever. And they’d take away my phone. And sure, I might’ve deserved it a couple of times, but most of the time it seemed unfair. Like it was just more convenient for them to lock me up than to have a real conversation.” She kind of laughs. “Ironic, huh? I leave my parents to get some freedom and wind up here.”
I just nod.
“Last winter, right after I turned seventeen, I felt pretty grown up, like I didn’t need my parents anymore. In December, I stayed out too late and got grounded and lost my phone again. But I was still allowed online. It was winter break and I was surfing the net and messing with my Facebook, posting some pretty cool pics, and waiting for someone to respond.”
“Yeah … I know how that goes.” Man, do I.
“So, right before Christmas, I met this really gorgeous guy on Facebook. Jesse was so cool. And it seemed like we really connected. He said all the right things, flattered my ego, told me I was pretty and smart and interesting. And I stupidly ate it up. As our relationship progressed, he sent me photos of himself — and man, was he hot. I sent him similar photos of me.” She rolls her eyes upward. “Photos that never should’ve seen the light of day. Jesse told me I was hot and that he wanted to be with me. I honestly thought we were in love.”
“What happened?”
“We kept chatting and sending photos for a few weeks. Jesse told me that he was twenty and in his second year in a private college near Portland. But he said he was tired of school and planned to take a break during winter term. He said he wanted to be in the sunshine. And that he wanted us to be together. He told me his family was rich and he could take care of me. He sent me these fabulous photos of his parents’ vacation home on the big island in Hawaii, and he invited me to go with him to stay there. He said we could hide out until I turned eighteen.”
“And?”
“I knew it was wrong. But I was still mad at my parents. And everything sounded so perfect. So I told him yes, and he sent me an e-ticket to Portland. He said we’d meet up there, and then we’d fly on to Hawaii together. It was going to be so amazing.” She sighs almost as if she still believes it could be true.
“What happened?”
“I spent a few days acting like the perfect girl, you know, to get my parents to trust me more. Mom even let me have my phone back. I pretended to be going to school just like any other day, but instead I went to the airport and boarded the flight to Portland. When my flight arrived, Jesse texted me to meet him down in baggage claim. He said our flight wasn’t leaving for a few hours and he wanted to take me to lunch in Portland.” Her mouth twists to one side. “I was so naive and gullible back then.”
Somehow, maybe it’s the snake tattoo or her severe black hair, but it’s hard to believe Tatiana was ever that naive. Just the same, I nod.
She’s standing again, walking as she tells her story and, jud
ging by her expression, it’s like she’s back there, experiencing it all over again. “So I’m all happy and excited to meet my dream guy. I stop by the bathroom to make sure my hair and makeup are perfect.” She touches her hair. “My hair was long and brown then. A lot like yours. So, feeling good, I go down to baggage claim and outside to where Jesse planned to pick me up on the street. And I spot the car he’d described perfectly to me. I see what I’m sure is him, waving over the top of the car, and I hear him call out my name as the car slowly approaches.”
She pauses, touching her swollen lower lip, but her eyes are far away. “I can’t see inside the car’s tinted windows, but I’m not concerned. I figure this is a good way to keep from being spotted, and by now I’m getting worried my parents might’ve figured out that I’m missing. So I hurry over to the car and the next thing I know, the back door opens and as I lean in, I’m snatched right off the street and pulled into the car. So fast that I don’t even have time to scream.”
She shakes her head. “Although, to be honest, I don’t think I would’ve screamed anyway. At that point I just thought it was some kind of stupid joke Jesse was pulling. But I barely had time to look around the car before I was blindfolded and handcuffed and gagged. But I never saw Jesse in that car. Just a couple of middle-aged men. Jesse wasn’t there.” Her eyes look close to tears as she turns away, going over to the window again, her hands clutching the sill.
“Do you think Jesse was even real?” I ask quietly.
She laughs, but it’s full of hardness.
“No.” I answer my own question. “Of course he wasn’t real.”
The room grows quiet and I’m imagining Tatiana, or Tamara, being blindsided and abducted in a way that sounds very similar to how I was kidnapped in LA, and I feel even more empathy toward her. “And that was how long ago?”
“Six … seven months. I quit counting after a while.”
“Did you ever try to get away?”
“Oh, sure. When I wasn’t drugged.” And now she pulls up her T-shirt and shows me some scars, explaining how she got each one of them. “Besides that, they threatened to post all my overexposed photos on the Internet and send them to my parents.” She shrugs. “For some reason that was even more disturbing than being beaten.”
Enticed:A Dangerous Connection (Secrets) Page 13