* * *
Darcey was weeping, hunched beside the small gas fire in what served as her sitting room. Worries, he’d said! As if she would have any worries about Daniel’s intentions, she thought tearfully. Longings, hope, yes, but not worries. It was a situation where Daniel was way out of her league and for the first time in her life she was in love, hopelessly, totally in love with a man whose failed marriage had left a bitter taste behind, so much so that a stray kiss of the kind they had shared would be the limit of his trust.
The moment she had longed for had just taken place. Daniel had kissed her long and meaningfully but without a word of love, and it had turned what might have been a moment of joy into something hurtful.
Or was she making a big thing out of something small? she asked herself bleakly, because her experience of such things was limited due to the burden of care she had carried for so long with regard to her young parentless brother?
Whatever the reason, she was relieved that after what had happened she would be tucked away at Oceans House during the days of Christmas, and in the evenings would find a way to pass the time somehow or other, even if it meant eating out on her own, and with that cheerful thought in mind she went to bed and was drifting into a restless sleep when the phone rang. When she picked it up, Alex’s voice came over the line.
‘Darcey! I’ve been trying to get through to wish you a merry Christmas for ages,’ he said. ‘Where have you been?’
‘I’ve been to a party,’ she told him, ‘and haven’t been back long. I rang you a couple of times and had the same problem. Everyone is so busy at this time of year, I’m afraid. Where are you ringing from?’
‘We’re still in Thailand and I’m just returning to the hotel after having a great time. It’s early morning here,’ he informed her. ‘We will be moving on after Christmas as we want to see as much of this country as possible before we come home, and the money won’t last for ever. We’ll probably be back by Easter.’
She was smiling, her loneliness forgotten for the moment as she told him, ‘I’m so glad that you’ve been in touch and are well and happy. I’ve volunteered to work during Christmas to give staff who have young families some time with them, so if you need me for anything you will know where to find me. Now I have to say goodnight as I have to be on the ward at eight o’clock in the morning with all of Christmas Day to follow, so take care and have a good time with your friends.’
‘I love you, big sister, and I’m sorry I was such a pain before you left,’ he said in parting, and when Darcey lay back against the pillows again, the frustrations of earlier in the night didn’t seem so hurtful. Maybe she’d been wanting too much from Daniel. Been longing too much to see him back in her life, and he’d had no such yearnings, so that the kiss out there on the promenade had just been a ‘nice to see you’ sort of gesture, and on that thought sleep came at last.
* * *
When Daniel arrived at his sister’s house Cordelia and Lawrence were busy clearing up after the party, ready to bring down the children’s Christmas presents from wherever they were hidden, and she exclaimed, ‘Daniel! Did you get an earlier flight?’
‘Yes,’ he told her wryly, ‘and who do you think I met on the promenade moving at a similar speed to Cinderella when she left the ball that time?’
‘I have no idea,’ she replied.
‘Oh, yes, you have,’ he protested gently, and as Lawrence turned away to hide a smile, ‘You matchmaker! Didn’t I tell you that Darcey had her Christmas fully arranged as from tomorrow? She will have been working today and then will be off for the rest of the festivities.’
‘I invited her to the party because I thought you wouldn’t be there,’ Cordelia protested, ‘not because I thought you would. And it was only when I told Darcey that you weren’t due home until quite a while after twelve o’clock that she accepted the invitation to join us. What did she have to say when you met up like that?’
‘Not a lot, just the usual pleasantries,’ he told her casually. It was hardly the moment to explain that Darcey’s lack of conversation had been due to the fact that she’d been unable to get a word in edgeways as he’d been kissing her most of the time. For what had seemed like a delightful eternity he’d held a lovely woman close and had got it all wrong. Was he so out of practice?
Climbing the stairs to the immaculate bedroom that was always his when he stayed the night at Cordelia and Lawrence’s house, Daniel’s train of thought moved to the next day when his two young nieces sleeping across the landing would awake to the excitement of Christmas morning, and if they found him less than cheerful they would be disappointed. So smiles would be called for at breakfast-time and lots of fun.
CHAPTER SIX
THE SAME APPLIED to the children’s ward, even more so for young ones in a strange environment away from all the things they were used to, and parents had been given extra visiting hours to make up for the change of circumstances so that they could bring some of the things that Santa and his reindeer had brought for them.
For any who had not received any toys, for whatever reason, the nurses, at Darcey’s suggestion along with the hospital facilities, had brought toys and nice things for them, so that no child was missed out, and as she walked the short distance to the ward the next morning it felt more like a joy than a duty to be there for them.
She had put the happenings of the night before to the back of her mind until the day was over and the night was ready to unfold on her, except for the memory of her brother’s phone call, which had brought back how it used to be with them, and to have that feeling again after the stresses she had endured before moving to Seahaven was relief untold. What she had faced before moving to Seahaven had helped to put the moments she’d spent in Daniel’s arms into perspective.
When she arrived at the ward parents and friends were already arriving, and to give the day staff time to see that their young patients were washed and given their breakfast, followed by whatever medication had been prescribed for them, the hospital had provided breakfast for their families in one of its restaurants.
It was to be a short respite for them in the midst of their anxiety, and much as she had tried to put Daniel out of her mind Darcey couldn’t help thinking that the day lacked his presence there just as much as she missed him.
* * *
Her return to her accommodation at the end of her working day was just as drab as she had visualised it would be. There was brightness all the way along the promenade but none where she lived, and as Darcey went inside it was there, the loneliness that she dreaded.
On a sudden impulse she showered and changed into evening clothes beneath a warm winter coat and set off along the seafront to find a restaurant that wasn’t booked up for the occasion, and wasn’t finding it easy when she saw Bridget and Ely coming towards her and there was no avoiding them.
‘Hello, there,’ the elderly boatman said. ‘Surely you’re not on your own on Christmas Day?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so,’ she admitted uncomfortably.
‘Then you must dine with us!’ Bridget exclaimed. ‘Everything is ready for our Christmas meal. We just came out for a breath of air, choosing to eat at home, and you are most welcome to join us, my dear.’
‘I couldn’t intrude like that,’ Darcey protested weakly.
‘You wouldn’t be intruding,’ Ely told her. ‘Any friend of Daniel’s is a friend of ours.’
‘I am very interested in the Young Sailors’ Club,’ Darcey admitted. ‘I would love to hear more about that.’
‘So come and eat with us and we’ll tell you all about it,’ Bridget said.
‘You are too young and bonny to be spending the evening of Christmas Day on your own. How have you passed the rest of it?’
‘I’m Sister on the children’s ward at Oceans House,’ she told her, ‘and I’ve been working there all day.’
‘But
Daniel wasn’t, I take it,’ Ely commented. ‘He will have been with his sister’s children. He loves those young ones. Pity he hasn’t some of his own.’
And Darcey found herself thinking that she could do something about that if he would let her, but he would have to want to first.
* * *
Bridget and Ely lived in a neat fisherman’s cottage not far from the harbour and made her most welcome in their small property where cooking smells lay on the night air and a log fire in the hearth took away the chill of the night outside, so that Darcey’s loneliness disappeared as they answered all her questions about the Young Sailors’ Club and Daniel himself, who they were obviously very fond of.
But Bridget was concerned that as well as his work at the hospital he was committed to turning out with the lifeboat when required, and although she made no comment Darcey agreed with her sentiments wholeheartedly.
There was no mention of the old lighthouse in the conversation. Clearly Daniel was intending that the repairs and renovation of it were to be a surprise and her amazement that he should have shared his secret dream with her surfaced again.
* * *
As the clock’s hands began to move towards midnight she got up to go, with the thought of going back to Oceans House in the morning, and as she thanked them for their hospitality Ely said, ‘I’ll see you safely home, my dear.’
Bridget chipped in with, ‘You are welcome any time, Darcey. It has been a pleasure to have you with us.’ Tears pricked at their kindness and almost overflowed when the elderly lady went on to say, ‘It is a shame that you are on duty tomorrow, or you could have gone sailing with Daniel and some of the young ones, it being Boxing Day.’
When she arrived back at her small residence and Ely had gone after seeing her safely inside, Darcey sank down by the window and, looking out into the Christmas night, gazed at the brightness of the stars and the moon above, while the kindness she had received from Ely and Bridget kept at bay the loneliness that she’d been dreading.
The only trouble with that was they would be sure to mention in Daniel’s presence how they’d met her all alone on the promenade and he would want to know the reason why. But she would worry about that tomorrow, she decided, and with another day on the ward ahead put the thought of sailing with him to the back of her mind.
There might come another chance for that, she thought as sleep crept over her, and if it didn’t happen she would always have the memory of the time he’d taken her to see the lighthouse.
* * *
It was good weather for sailing the next day. So much so that Daniel had taken one lot of the young would-be sailors out in the morning and another group in the afternoon as the sea was calm and the sky blue and cloudless, which made Darcey’s absence even more disappointing, but he understood.
She’d been new to Seahaven and had probably thought he’d been in a rush to get to know her as she hadn’t been aware of his reputation for steering clear of her sex, so he needed to slow down, give her some breathing space.
When Ely had mentioned casually how he and Bridget had met Darcey all alone on the evening of Christmas Day he’d been horrified. Was he so unlikable that she’d lied when telling him that she was booked up for the Christmas period, and if so how was she going to get the days over?
He had his answer when he popped into the hospital to meet up with the elderly consultant covering for him over Christmas, a man who’d been his tutor when Daniel had been a student. As they chatted over coffee in the cafeteria, James Collins said, ‘I was impressed with the children’s ward on my first shift when I took over.’
‘Yes,’ Daniel agreed. ‘Darcey Howard, the regular sister, has taken time off during the Christmas period and will be pleased to hear that the rest of the staff are how she would want them to be.’
The other man was looking at him in puzzlement. ‘She has been there all the time ever since I arrived. I met her on my first morning on the wards, and even caught a glimpse of her as I was arriving this morning. It would seem there has been a change of plan perhaps.’
‘Yes, maybe,’ Daniel agreed, thinking grimly that he had his answer to where Darcey was hiding out over Christmas. Was he such a monster that she had to resort to that sort of thing to avoid him?
It was further proof of what Ely and Bridget had said. Darcey wasn’t going anywhere other than Oceans House. Wasn’t spending Christmas with anyone except the nursing staff, and had been so desperate to avoid him after what he’d said about Cordelia’s matchmaking that she’d concocted a story about a busy social life to keep him at a distance, so he could imagine how welcome his kiss on the promenade on Christmas Eve had been.
But he had to see for himself that she was there, and the only way to do that was to visit the children’s ward. So while the other man continued with his rounds Daniel made his way to the ground floor, where she would be if what he had just heard was correct...and it was.
Darcey was seated at the desk in the office, talking to the parents of one of her young patients, and he felt sick at the thought of how determined she’d been not to spend any time over Christmas with him.
The visitors were getting up to go and when she saw him observing her from the doorway of the ward he saw the colour drain from her face. But she didn’t falter as she repeated the reassurances that she’d been able to give to the concerned parents about their child as they said their goodbyes.
Once they had gone he was beside her in a stride and, shutting the office door behind him, asked without preamble, ‘So this is why you didn’t want to come sailing with me, you would rather be here. I might applaud your self-sacrificing gesture if I didn’t know that it was aimed at avoiding me.’
‘I’m here because I told you a lie and then found I had to make it believable,’ she told him tonelessly.
‘I’m not with you,’ he gritted. ‘What has being here to do with you not wanting to come sailing with me?’
‘I’d already put my name down to work over Christmas because I dreaded how awful it would be if my days turned out to be as empty and lonely as my nights,’ she told him in a low voice.
‘When you asked me to go sailing with you I was already committed to working over the holiday and had to think of a reason to refuse the invitation so I pretended I was booked up over Christmas because I didn’t want you to know how lonely I am most of the time and start pitying me.’
‘And that was it!’ he exclaimed.
‘Yes, that was the reason why, pathetic as it is,’ she admitted wearily.
‘And to think that I convinced Cordelia that you were booked up for the whole of Christmas!’ he said tightly, and then with his tone softening added, ‘She and Lawrence are going to be partying again tonight and I know they would love to see you again. Suppose I pick you up when you’ve finished here and take you to their place? How soon could you be ready?’
Faster than the speed of light, she wanted to tell him, but instead said casually, ‘About an hour after I leave here, which will give me time to shower and get changed into something appropriate.’
‘Such as the lovely dress that you were wearing on Christmas Eve when we met on the promenade?’
‘Er...no, not necessarily,’ she told him. ‘I’ve worn it a couple of times now and I do have other clothes to choose from.’ With her glance on the ward that awaited her presence, she said, ‘Will you forgive me for lying to you, Daniel? I really did want to go sailing with you and the club.’
‘Yes, of course,’ he said gravely. ‘Perhaps we could make up for that disappointment by driving out to the lighthouse sometime to view what the firm that I’ve commissioned to do the repairs has done so far.’
‘I would love to!’ she cried, and as he turned to go was unable to refrain from asking what was uppermost in her mind, and it didn’t concern the lighthouse. ‘Will you always be on call for the lifeboat?’
‘Ye
s, I am totally committed. They need me,’ he replied. ‘Although I suppose there might come a time when someone else is willing to take my place, but until then I shall follow in my father’s footsteps as long as the need is there.’
On that promise he went, with a last reminder that he would call for her as arranged once her commitment to the children in her care was finished for the day.
* * *
Darcey was ready when Daniel came for her in the evening but not exactly sparkling due to an extra-busy day on the ward without his brisk expertise. And she was having doubts about letting him foist her onto his sister and her husband after they had already made her so welcome on Christmas Eve.
But most of all at the back of her mind was his reply to her question about his commitment to the lifeboat. She couldn’t question it, understood totally. But would she want to spend the rest of her life in Seahaven praying for its safe return, that their children still had a father in the knowledge that the man she loved had only the bricks and mortar of an old lighthouse to remind him of his father?
Unaware of her fears on his behalf, Daniel’s only concern on arriving was to reassure her regarding his intention to take her to his sister’s once again, and when she mentioned her concerns on that score he just smiled and commented that Cordelia had mentioned she was looking forward to talking with her again, and that also there would be the chance for Darcey to chat further with the elder of his two young nieces about anything she wanted to know about nursing.
‘Will that make you feel less of an outsider?’ he asked, and Darcey swallowed hard at the thought that she must have sounded weak and whining when he’d come into the ward office that morning.
‘Yes, hopefully,’ she told him, and smiling at her reticence he brought the colour to her cheeks with his next comment, which was, ‘Am I allowed to tell you that you look very beautiful?’
She was laughing now. ‘Oh, yes, please do! I need something to boost my morale and I do like to wear black occasionally, although the dress isn’t new.’
The Shy Nurse's Christmas Wish Page 8