Shell
Starling was right where Cade had told me she would be. She was strapped down to one of those gurney things that I had seen in the hallway. There was a gag in her mouth, and her eyes were wild and frightened.
I hurried over to her once I got inside the room, trying not to look at the little table that was set up next to her, full of sharp, rusty instruments. Ice had been going to use them on her, undoubtedly, and I didn’t even want to think about that.
I tore the gag out of her mouth.
She screamed.
I stuck it back in. “Shh!”
She was still screaming.
“Starling, shut up,” I said in a fierce whisper. “What if he hears and comes back?”
She stopped screaming.
I pulled the gag out of her mouth. “I’m here to rescue you.”
“How did you find me?”
I moved over to start undoing her restraints. “That guy that took me hostage, he knew how to find Ice—”
“The guy that killed Larbi?” Her face contorted.
“Well, yeah,” I said. “But he didn’t kill him because he didn’t like him or anything. He killed him because it was a job. Did you know that Larbi was funding terrorists?”
“That’s a lie,” she said.
I yanked open the last restraint. “Look, how well did you really know him?”
“I loved him.”
“He was paying you to fuck him.” I glared at her.
She scooted off the gurney and onto her feet.
I helped her.
“Look, Shell, you just don’t get it. You’ve never been in love.”
“I was engaged.”
“To a gay man.”
“I loved him.”
“You couldn’t really love him.”
I glowered at her. “I’m starting to regret the fact that I even rescued you.”
“Well, you haven’t really rescued me yet, have you? I mean, we’re still inside this place.”
“Right,” I said. “Well, let’s go, then.” I started for the door. “Follow me.”
She hurried behind me.
* * *
Cade
I couldn’t breathe. I scrabbled at Ice’s arms, trying to loosen them. But it wasn’t working.
Ice chuckled softly. “After all this, after all your holier-than-thou code nonsense, all it took me was one move to choke away your—”
I drove my elbow into his ribs.
He coughed. He didn’t let go.
But I’d won back a larger range of movement. I elbowed him again. Harder this time.
His grip on my neck loosened. He grunted.
I elbowed him again.
He stumbled backward.
I got to my feet, stretching my neck.
“Look,” he said. “This is stupid, what we’re doing. You’re my friend. You’re my best friend.”
“You don’t even know how to have friends.”
“As if you do. You know we’re both different than them. We aren’t weak like they are. We don’t form those stupid attachments.”
I advanced on him. “That’s where you’re wrong, Ice. Because I do form attachments. I do care. That’s what makes me different than you. That’s what you’ll never understand. Because you are fucked up. You’re broken.”
His face twisted. “Take that back.”
I punched him again. An undercut to the chin.
His head snapped backwards. He howled in pain. “Fuck you, Cade. Fuck you!”
I punched him again. This time in the stomach.
He doubled over. He reached for me, gasping. “You know that I don’t stand a chance against you in a fist fight, you asshole.”
“Maybe you should work out more,” I said. “Spend a little less time picking on people weaker than you.”
He put his hand on my chest. “You won, you won,” he managed. “Let it go. Take the damned girl, and let’s forget about it.”
I grabbed him by the throat and drove him backwards into the wall. “I don’t think so.”
His eyes bulged.
“You’re going to leave me alone now,” I said. “I’m not going to see you again. And you’re not going to take anymore government jobs. Leave those to my team, okay?”
He nodded. He tried to speak, but only a rattle came out.
I pulled him forward, both hands on his shoulders. I slammed his head into the wall as hard as I could.
He was unconscious instantly.
I let go of him and he fell to the floor in a heap.
* * *
Shell
“I’m not going anywhere with him.” Starling was ripping off her seatbelt and climbing out of the car. “When you said we were waiting for someone I thought maybe the police or the FBI or someone official. But no. You came out here by yourself with him.”
Cade, who’d just come out of the building, hurried over and stopped her. “You’ve got to get back in the car. We don’t have time for this.”
“I couldn’t go to the police,” I said. “Ice said he’d kill you if I did.”
“Don’t touch me,” said Starling, ripping her arm away from Cade. To me, “Why do you keep calling him Ice?”
“That’s his name,” I said. “Well, his handle, anyway. He goes by Ice.”
“And you know this how?”
“Cade knows him,” I said.
“Knows him? Like they’re friends?”
“No,” I said, even though I was sort of lying, I guessed.
“Get in the car,” said Cade. “Or I will throw you into the car.”
Starling gaped at him. She looked at his face, which was deadly serious and then she looked at me. “Fine,” she muttered. She climbed into the car.
Cade closed the door after her and went around to the driver’s side.
“But I don’t like this,” said Starling. “And you better bet that I’m going to go to the police and tell them everything about you, asshole. You killed my boyfriend.”
“He wasn’t your boyfriend!” I felt like it was really important that I point this out.
Cade slid into the car and put the keys in the ignition. “Your ‘boyfriend’ caused the deaths of hundreds of people in the middle east. He funded groups who killed women if they weren’t wearing the right kind of scarf on their heads.”
“No, he didn’t. He didn’t care about that shit.” Starling leaned up between the seats.
I was in the backseat with her. I yanked her back. “Stop it.”
Cade pulled the car out of its parking space. We were off. “There was evidence, but the government couldn’t touch him because he was a foreign dignitary. They went to the government of Nemekistan, and they wouldn’t give up the prince. So, they hired me. And trust me, Prince Larbi Hassan deserved to die.”
“He was a wonderful man.”
Cade shrugged. “Oh, sure. Tell me, Starling, did your ‘boyfriend’ ever loan you out to other men?”
Starling folded her arms over her chest.
My eyes widened. “Is that true?”
“No,” said Starling in a small voice.
But I knew that voice. She was lying. I shook my head. “How can you claim to be in love with this guy?”
“It wasn’t like he forced me or anything. Everything I did, I did willingly.”
“But if he was giving you to other men, then he obviously didn’t care about you at all,” I said.
“Oh, you’re so closed-minded. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you have to want to keep them all to yourself.”
“Yes, it does,” I said. “Cade, would you ever share your girlfriend?”
“If I had thirty girlfriends,” he said, and he grinned wickedly into the rearview mirror.
“You don’t understand,” said Starling.
“I don’t,” I agreed. “And I don’t want to. I just want you to realize that you are worth more than this.”
“Shut up,” said Starling. “You don’t understand and you neve
r will. Prince Larbi was the best thing that ever happened to me. He gave me the best gifts and he let me do all the shopping I wanted and he made me feel beautiful. And now he’s dead, and you’re running around with the man who killed him.” She dissolved into tears.
Geez. My sister sounded like the most shallow person on earth. Gifts? Shopping? Feeling pretty? That was all it took to win her over? Didn’t she want a soul mate? Didn’t she want someone who she could be herself with?
And then I thought about the fact that I’d let Cade fuck me over the sink this morning, and I realized that maybe I was just as bad as she was.
I scrunched down in my seat. Maybe it was in our genes. Maybe we were both destined to fall for the complete wrong kind of guy. Maybe we just couldn’t help ourselves.
Or maybe it was only me. Maybe I was screwed up in the head, and I’d screwed up Starling from the things that I’d done to her.
She didn’t know what I’d done, but if she ever found out…
“Where are you taking me?” Starling demanded.
I realized I didn’t know the answer to this question either. “I guess you can come back to my place.”
“Your place?” she said. “For how long? I need to get home.”
“To mom and dad’s house?” I said. My parents lived in another state. I’d followed Starling to D.C. years ago, and then she’d gone to Nemekistan on me.
“Of course not,” she said. “To Prince Larbi’s family.”
“You’re not part of their family,” I said to her. “You’re hired help.”
“You’re always so horrible to me,” she said, glaring at me, her eyes wet.
I sighed.
* * *
Shell
I sat on the couch, and Cade sat on the easy chair in my living room.
Starling was in my shower. I told her to stay in there as long as she liked. I couldn’t imagine how horrible it must have been to have been held by Ice like that.
Cade and I weren’t talking.
There were things I wanted to say to him. As recently as this morning, I’d wanted to be around him all of the time. And when I looked him over—his broad shoulders and his strong hands—I still wanted him. He was gorgeous and sexy, and he’d made me feel things that I hadn’t ever even dreamed of.
And yet…
I couldn’t get past what he’d said to me in the car about fantasizing about killing someone.
I think that part of me had known that I wasn’t cool with the fact that he was a contract killer, but that I’d shoved it to the side, because I didn’t need to think about it too closely. But now it was in my face, and it wasn’t the kind of thing I could ignore.
Having sex with him once was one thing. But if I did it again… I’d fall for him hard. I knew myself. I couldn’t handle having casual sexual relationships. I couldn’t do the fuck-buddy thing.
I had to stop this whole thing before it got worse.
“He was pissed when I left,” Cade said suddenly.
“Who was?” I was confused.
“Ice. He was pissed. I knocked him unconscious and I left him like that, but he wasn’t exactly being a gracious loser.”
A chill went through me. “What are you saying? Are you saying that he’s going to come back after Starling?”
“I don’t know,” said Cade. “Even if he doesn’t, there’s a price on your sister’s head. She’s not safe regardless.”
“Oh God,” I whispered.
“I don’t think…” He placed his open palm on the arm of the easy chair. “I don’t think either of you should stay here. And you’d both be safer with me.”
I licked my lips. “Really? Safer? You aren’t fantasizing about killing us?”
He let out a low chuckle. “You scared of me now, love?”
I felt the urge to scramble back up on the couch and hug my knees to my chest. I didn’t move. “No.”
“You didn’t sound so scared this morning when you were begging me to—”
“Don’t.” My voice cracked.
We were quiet.
He shut his eyes.
I ran my hands through my hair. It was still all tangly, damn it. Maybe I needed to take another shower, just to put a gallon of conditioner on my hair.
He opened his eyes, and he was different. He gave me his typical lopsided grin. “Hey, I get it. I’m not the kind of guy that girls want to get snuggly with. It’s fine. You gotta admit we had some fun, though.”
I didn’t know what to say.
He held up both his hands. “I promise not to push, okay? I’ll just keep you safe, both of you. No touching.”
And somewhere inside me, I felt deeply disappointed at that prospect. I was very screwed up. Very. I opened my mouth to tell him that now that Starling was safe, we’d just both go to the police, and they would protect us, but Starling appeared in the living room.
She was dressed in my clothes, and her hair was freshly blow dried. She was holding a lipstick tube. “You need to toss half of your makeup, Shell. It’s way too old to keep around.”
“Hey, I like that lipstick,” I said.
“If you really liked it, you would have used it up before it got disgusting.”
“My lipstick is not—”
“Let’s not fight about this too.” She glared at me.
I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t know how I could stand being around her now. I was glad she was safe and all, but sheesh.
“Anyway,” she said, “I’m leaving.”
“You can’t,” said Cade. “The government ordered a hit on you.”
“What?” She turned wide eyes on him. “That’s ridiculous.”
“You were talking a lot,” said Cade, “and they thought that if you didn’t shut up, then people might look too closely at Larbi’s death, and figure out who ordered the hit. That wouldn’t look good for them.”
“So, they’re just going to have me killed? But this is America.” She sounded highly offended at the thought of being murdered, but not the least bit frightened.
Cade shrugged.
“Well, don’t worry,” said Starling. “I already called Raakin, Larbi’s brother. He’s sending a car for me.”
“What?” I said. “Why would he do that?”
“Well, Raakin always liked me. And he and I had a little bit of a connection, so I reached out to him. I used your phone. I know you’d rather be rid of me anyway.”
“A connection?”
Cade smiled sardonically. “So, you were passed about between brothers. How sweet and familial.”
“You know nothing.” Starling pointed at him. “You’re a killer, and I hope that you are shot down like the dog that you are.”
Cade didn’t seem phased. “You know, I managed to get through the security at the Hassan estate. Other killers will be able to do it too. You won’t be safe there.”
“I’ll take my chances,” said Starling.
I got up. “Don’t.” I went to her, and I grabbed both of her hands. “I know that you think that you have to act like this, and I know you don’t like me, and God knows I haven’t always been the best sister to you, but please, Starling, don’t go back to those people.”
She gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but you don’t get it. My whole life, I’ve been looking for the thing that I was good at, my calling, you know. And now I’ve found it. I’m really fucking good at this. And the money is great. And it’s amazing. And I know you can’t understand it, but I wish you’d let me have this, because I’m happy.” She removed her hands from mine. “Sorry, little sis. You can’t save a person who doesn’t want to be saved.”
And then she walked out of my apartment.
I just watched her.
* * *
Shell
After Starling left, Cade and I were alone.
I wasn’t sure what to do. He had said that I might still be in danger. I was worried about Starling, but I didn’t see how I could force her to stay with us. It only made sense
that she would be angry and distrustful of Cade. If I had any sense, I wouldn’t have trusted him either.
It wasn’t just the sex or the fact that I was attracted to him.
Despite his words, I got a vibe from him that put me at ease. Maybe he wasn’t a bad guy after all. He did say that he had a code.
But I knew that was the kind of thing that women told themselves to keep themselves in relationships with bad men. That they were actually good deep down, that underneath that hard exterior, they were sweet teddy bears.
I wasn’t an idiot. I didn’t think I could change him.
Honestly, there was no proposed relationship. As far as I knew, he only wanted to have sex with me. And maybe he didn’t even want that anymore. Maybe he was bored with me.
Still, he didn’t leave, and I didn’t ask him to.
I took a shower. I coated my hair in conditioner. When I was done, I let Cade take a shower, grateful for the fact that my apartment building seemed to have an endless supply of hot water.
While he was showering, I flicked on the television, wanting something to distract me from my thoughts.
To my surprise, the first thing that came on was the news, and it was Starling again.
I felt like it was deja vu. The last time I’d watched TV in this apartment, Starling had been all over the news.
“…it’s a travesty on the part of our government,” Starling was saying.
The screen switched back to the news anchors. “That is Starling Birch again, vocal member of Prince Larbi Hassan’s harem, a U.S. citizen, now claiming that she was captured by a contract killer hired by the government, who was also responsible for the death of the prince,” said a coiffed anchorwoman.
The anchorman next to her chuckled. “You have to wonder if she’s making this up as she goes along or what.”
“It is a very bizarre story,” agreed the anchorwoman.
“If she was captured by a contract killer, why is she still alive?” said the anchorman.
The anchorwoman shrugged, chuckling as well. Then she turned to the camera. “In related news, a candlelight vigil being held this evening for the prince. We go now live to the preparations in town. Marie Stone is on the scene. Marie?”
“She didn’t waste time, did she?” said Cade’s voice behind me.
I turned, and immediately sucked in my breath. He had a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, and his chest was bare, except for another towel around his neck. Little droplets of water were clinging to every swell of him.
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