by T. S. Ryder
"How could she not?"
Jace gave her a smile that evoked all her high school feelings. The fluttering in her stomach, the blush on her cheeks, her heart jumping erratically. She knew he didn't mean anything by it. He couldn’t help the way she reacted to him.
"We were study buddies for a while and started officially dating after I passed the bar exam. I don't think I could have gotten through university without her."
The fluttery feelings died along with the smile on Amanda's face. He couldn't have done it without her?
What about me? You broke up with me to follow your dreams, why was there room for her and not me? She knew it was ridiculous to feel this way. After all, how could lugging your pregnant girlfriend with you to Harvard help you do your homework? He didn't know I was pregnant.
"I'm probably going to marry her," Jace continued, stirring his coffee and not seeing how much Amanda was dying inside. "She's a great woman. Strong, smart, and she is supportive about the pack and everything. I never realized until I left town how high anti-Shifter feelings can run, but she never thought of me as a Wolf instead of a person."
"But she's not your mate."
Jace looked up. The smile seemed forced now. "I'm not sure that I have a mate, Mandy. If I did, I would have found her by now."
"I have a son," Amanda blurted, because if she didn't she was going to demand what was wrong with her, why she wasn't his mate. "Logan. You should have seen how excited he was that the Alpha was coming to his school."
Jace froze. He swallowed thickly.
Crap. He knows.
"The father isn't in the picture?"
Amanda dropped her gaze. "No. He left me."
A long, awkward silence fell. Finally, Jace cleared his throat and stood. "I really need to get home and make sure Mom's not smothering Clarissa with pies and beef jerky. You remember what she was like. But I'd love it if you could meet her. I was a jerk, the way I left you here, and I'd like to be friends. I can't tell you how many times I saw something and wished you were there, so I could share it with you."
"Then why didn't you ever call me?"
Jace shrugged helplessly. "Too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with me, I guess."
Amanda grabbed her jacket. The feelings were too raw, even after six years. If she stayed any longer, she would end up saying something she regretted. "I really need to get back to work."
"Clarissa wants me to take her to the amusement park down south," Jace continued, speaking quickly. "I'd like it if you and Logan could come with us. You said he was excited about the Alpha coming to his school, think about how excited he would be meeting me in person."
Was this because he was trying to put old demons to rest, or did he suspect Logan was his son? Not even Jace's parents had ever asked her about whether he was the father, although they often bumped into each other. But was it really right to keep them apart?
"I think he would love that," Amanda said. "How about Saturday? I have the weekend off and I'm not sure when I'll have another one."
"Yeah." Jace nodded. "That would be great."
"Okay. See you then." Amanda threw a couple bills on the table and left quickly, trying to calm the pounding of her heart. What had she just gotten herself into?
Chapter Four
Logan was so excited about going to the amusement park and meeting the new Alpha face-to-face that Amanda had a hard time putting him to bed Friday night. Betty offered to come with them, but the morning brought with it a frantic call from Betty’s work, and so it ended up being Amanda and Logan going by themselves to meet Jace and Clarissa. Amanda would have liked the backup, but she wasn't going to disappoint her son by canceling.
Jace met them near the gate of the park. He was with a tall, shapely woman. She was thicker in the waist than Amanda had been expecting, and greeted her with a hug that wasn't entirely welcome. She was quite muscular, which made her even prettier.
Amanda felt shy and awkward, wishing she hadn't agreed to this. Logan, however, proved himself the Alpha's son and immediately began telling Jace all about himself. He had big plans for the playground at school, organizing it to minimize fighting and he wanted Alpha approval.
"You have a very friendly little boy," Clarissa mentioned several hours after they had been at the park.
Jace was helping Logan with one of those 'shoot the ducks' games, and the two of them were laughing as they played.
"Yeah, I do." Amanda smiled proudly at her son, her heart warming at the way he interacted with his father. Whatever she had decided before, looking at them together made her realize that she needed to tell Jace the truth. She should have told him a long time ago…
Amanda snuck a look at Clarissa out of the corner of her eye. There were similarities between the two of them that she found a little strange. Both of them had long, glossy brown hair, hazel eyes. There was even a similarity in the shapes of their noses. Clarissa was taller than Amanda, however, and even though she was dressed casually in a t-shirt and jeans, she had an air of sophistication about her.
"He's how old? Six?"
"Five."
Had Jace told Clarissa his suspicions that Logan might be his son? I don't even know if he has suspicions. Get your head straight, Mandy. You're becoming paranoid.
"So you're a werewolf, too, right? Or Wolf Shifter. Which do you prefer?" Clarissa's brows drew together and she bit her lower lip like she was worried that she had offended Amanda.
"It doesn't really matter to me. I always just call myself a Wolf. We have pretty strong integration here, and I'm not sure what's politically correct and what's not."
Clarissa nodded. "I'm not sure, either, to be honest. Politics around Shifters can be a little tricky to grasp. There's the negative association with werewolves – moon bloodlust and all that. But as long as you don't mind, I'll stick with Wolf. That's what Jace calls himself."
Amanda shrugged. The human smelled like lilacs, a pleasant scent. She could see why Jace was drawn to her. It's just my luck that she is politically aware and a nice person as well as being worldly and sophisticated.
Amanda bit back a sigh. Clarissa was perfectly suited to be the Alpha female. She'd get things done.
"Look at them." Clarissa smiled as Jace set Logan on his shoulders so the boy could get a better view at the ducks he was shooting. "Jace is so good with kids. It makes me excited to have our own someday."
Kids. Amanda felt like she had been sucker punched. Were they really that serious? Jace had mentioned that he was probably going to marry Clarissa, but the remark had been so casual that she hadn't really believed it, especially since he seemed to be quite satisfied with declaring that Clarissa wasn't his mate. Yet, if they were talking about having children, things were a lot more serious than they seemed.
And why should that bother me? Amanda shoved her hands into her pockets despite her desire to challenge Clarissa to a fight, as if she was a male claiming his mate. She'll make a great Alpha female, and it's clear that she and Jace care for one another. It's not like I have any claim on him.
"I wasn't aware that you two were talking about children yet," Amanda said cautiously, hoping her voice didn't give her away.
"Oh, well, we're not. I mean, not seriously yet." Clarissa wrapped her arms around her waist, a strange look passing over her face. It was gone in a minute. "Want to get a corndog?"
"Sure."
They headed off to the nearest food truck. Amanda tried to calm her pounding heart. Why did she feel like Jace was betraying her with this woman? It wasn't like they were together. But that feeling lingered, and she wanted to claw Clarissa's eyes out, drag Jace to bed, and claim him as her own.
Maybe it was the fact that she had decided to tell Jace that Logan was his child. It was her protective instincts rearing up, wanting to make sure that her child wouldn't have any competition. When Clarissa had Jace's son, would he be the next Alpha? Did it really matter?
The four continued through the amusement park, riding the
various rides, playing games, and generally having a fun time. Amanda slowly relaxed from her talk with Clarissa, and by the time the day was winding down and Logan's enthusiasm was turning into a case of the grumpies, she had managed to push aside all lingering feelings of discomfort. She couldn’t help but like the human.
"I think it's time to leave," Amanda said at Logan's fifth yawn. "By the time we get home it's going to be bedtime."
"Oh." Clarissa looked disappointed. "I was hoping to get some ice-cream before we left."
"I want ice-cream too!" Logan cried.
Clarissa smiled. "I have an idea, why don't you two talk while I take Logan to go get an ice-cream cone?"
Jace's head whipped around so fast Amanda knew he hadn't planned this. Every muscle in his body tensed, and Amanda felt her own body echo it. So Jace did suspect that Logan was his son, and he told Clarissa. But how did he find out about him in the first place?
Stupid question. His parents know I have a son, even if I never told them he is their grandchild. This town is the size of a pinhead, everybody probably knows about Logan.
The real question was when he found out. He must have known she had a son for years, so did he just start to suspect that Logan was his? If not, why come back into her life now? Why wait all this time to confront her? Was he even planning to confront her, or was this all Clarissa's idea, to get the answers and find out where her future children stood with the pack?
By this time, Clarissa was headed away from them, Logan holding her hand. Amanda turned to Jace. He was paying far too much attention to a nearby clown. Should she break into his deliberate attempts to ignore her, or should they just stand here awkwardly until Clarissa and Logan returned?
Amanda wrapped her arms around her middle. "Jace."
"Sorry about Clarissa. She can be pretty stubborn."
"Jace."
The new Alpha reluctantly tore his gaze from the clown to look at her. His eyes were dark, and she knew what he was thinking. She stared back at him, hoping that he would just see the truth and she wouldn't have to say it out loud. But he was silent, waiting for her to speak. They didn't have much time until Clarissa and Logan returned. Her heart jumped to her throat and she felt sick.
"Jace, I should have told you."
He tensed even further if that was possible. "Told me what?"
Amanda flinched at his tone. Perfectly even. Perfectly controlled. When they were in high school it meant he was on the verge of losing control. He never flew into a rage when he lost his temper, but the words he would say when he was angry could be far more hurtful than shouting. She braced herself.
"Logan is your son. I got pregnant just before graduation. I was going to tell you…"
"But you decided to keep him from me as punishment for breaking up with you?" Still that calm voice.
Amanda shook her head. "You're angry and you have every right to be. But I'm not going to talk about this right now, Jace. I know you. You'll say things you'll regret. Besides, I don't want Logan to see us fighting."
Jace glanced over to Clarissa and Logan. They were walking back towards them, laughing. His face tightened and he grabbed Amanda's arm. "Don't think this is over, Amanda. You had no right to keep him from me."
"Let go." There was a slight growl to her voice, even though she knew Jace didn't mean it as a threat. "Now."
He released her at once, eyes widening.
"Like I said, I am not talking about this while you're angry. Call me once you've calmed down." She turned her back on him. "Logan, it's time to go. Did you thank Clarissa for your ice-cream?"
"Thank you, Clarissa."
Clarissa beamed at him. Amanda picked up her son, gave some vague goodbyes and walked away. She didn’t look back.
Chapter Five
Amanda didn’t sleep at all that night. Every time she closed her eyes, the disappointed, betrayed look in Jace's eyes came back to her. He was right to be upset with her, but she just didn't know where it would go from here. Would he ever forgive her? Would he want to be part of Logan's life? Would he want custody?
Somewhere in the early morning hours, far too early for a Sunday morning, Betty burst into her room. Her hair was wild, sticking up at all ends, dark circles under her eyes, her lipstick smeared. Amanda would have thought she was doing the walk of shame in her flannel PJs, but this was how Betty always looked after she worked a twelve-hour shift. She would crash right into bed as soon as she got home, and complain about the makeup on her pillow the next morning.
"Have you seen…?"
Amada sat up groggily, blinking against the sudden, bright light. "Seen what?"
Betty shook her head and put her tablet into Amanda's hands. It took a moment for the Wolf's sleepy brain to comprehend what she was seeing. A picture of her and Jace from yesterday, and at the side was a picture of Logan on Jace's shoulders in a red circle. Underneath read a caption, 'The Alpha's Secret Son'.
"What?" Amanda threw back the blankets, her heart pounding. "Who did you tell?"
"Me?" Betty held out her hands. "I didn't tell anybody. Maybe it was that woman, his girlfriend."
"Clarissa isn't that kind of person. She wouldn't have told the press."
Amanda skimmed through the article, getting tenser with every word she read. It detailed the day they had at the park in disturbing detail. Had they been followed around? Somebody must have been spying on them because Jace would never do this. Her hands clenched and she couldn’t repress a growl. It was bad enough putting her face on the tabloids, but her son's? Unforgivable.
"When I find who did this, I'll kill them," she snarled, her protective instincts rising. "I'll kill them."
"And you might want to make sure you're dressed up before you leave the house," Betty said, inching away from her. "There's a couple of suspicious-looking people outside. They might be paparazzi. Don't want your sweats all over the internet."
Amanda groaned and hid her face in her hands. "Why? What's the big deal about all of this? Jace is the Alpha of a pack that nobody really knows about. We're just a small group, and we don't have anything special. Why all the media attention?"
"Oh, hon." Betty put an arm around her. "Jace is a bit of a celebrity, don't you know? His super-quick education, all of his successful lawsuits, the fact that he's a billionaire giving up the glamorous city life to return here and become the new Alpha due to his father’s retirement… It all makes for sensational news, and a secret lovechild makes it all the more thrilling."
"They took pictures of my son and plastered them all over the internet! How is that thrilling?"
"Hey, I'm just saying how it is. But Jace is a lawyer, I'm sure that he'll have sued these guys three ways to Sunday by the time he's done with them."
Amanda groaned, flopping back on her bed. What was she supposed to do now? She could call Jace and tell him about this, but chances were he already knew. Besides, her first thought shouldn't be about what they were going to do to stop the tabloids. Logan was her priority. The first thing she needed to do was to get him out of here, so he wouldn’t be subjected to this more than he had to be. Then stop those tabloids.
"I need you to take Logan to my parents' place," she said, jumping to her feet. "I'm the bigger story, right? The woman who had the Alpha's son and never told him. They wouldn't follow Logan out there. Especially if we have him shift so you can carry him out in a basket or something. Then they can't see him. I'll call the schools, and he can go to the packlands school for a few days at least."
"Don't you think you should talk to Jace?"
"Yes. But first I want Logan out of the line of fire. He's a child. He doesn't deserve all this crap thrown at him. So will you do that for me, please?"
Betty nodded. "Of course."
"Thank you." Amanda hugged her friend, though she was internally still snarling.
Whoever did this will pay, she vowed. Nobody puts my son in danger and gets away with it.
***
It was a long morning. Amanda
was able to get Logan away without incident. To lessen the chances of the paparazzi taking pictures of him, Amanda had shifted, and gone for a run in her Wolf's form. The loiterers had suspiciously followed after her, just as she had thought they would.
She kept her tail firmly tucked between her legs as she ran. It was common to see Wolves in their Wolf's form to go running through town, wearing nothing with their tails high, proudly showing it all off, but Amanda didn't want to have her own bits plastered all over the internet. Maybe she would invest in some dog-shaped clothes to wear for her Wolf until this blew over.
When she returned home after her run, Amanda packed herself a bag and headed into town, driving in circles until she was certain she had shaken off the paparazzi. Then she checked into a hotel. It was only then that she checked her cell phone. A dozen missed calls from Jace.
She called him back, dreading what he might think after all those missed calls.
"Amanda." His voice was deep and angry. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Trying to get rid of the paparazzi that were chasing me." Amanda felt herself tensing. She didn't want to fight, but it was going to be difficult not to when she was already so wound up. "I sent Logan to stay with my parents. My roommate took him. I didn't want him in this media circus."
"Good." Jace let out a relieved sigh, but his voice hardened again very quickly. "What were you thinking, telling them about Logan?"
"Me?" Amanda fought to keep the growl from her voice. "I didn't tell them anything. I woke up this morning to find my son's face all over the internet. I would never put him at risk like that!"
"So you think I did—"
"I never said that. And I don't think you did. I know you and Clarissa wouldn't do that to Logan."
The sound of Jace swallowing was audible.
"I want to get to the bottom of this, but you're the lawyer with the law enforcement connections and knowledge about laws and whatever. I want the people who are responsible for the distribution of my son's picture found and punished, Jace. I would never do this, Jace. Never."