Skylanders Universe - Trigger Happy Targets the Evil Kaos

by Onk Beakman

  In the Portal Room, the Skylanders had been distracted by a call from the Portal of Power itself. Master Eon waved his hand, and Auric the trader appeared at the center of the Portal.

  “Oh, Master Eon, thank you for seeing me,” the Mabu said, stepping down toward the Portal Master.

  “What’s the problem?” asked Food Fight. “The Water Viper causing trouble again?”

  “Oh, no, no, no,” Auric said, wringing his hands. “That beastie slunk away almost as soon as your tomato crust finally crumbled.”

  “Then what is it?” Spyro asked.

  “My cabinet of curiosities,” Auric said. “Someone broke into it during the Water Viper attack.”

  “You mean the cabinet where you keep your potions?” Smolderdash asked.

  “And my magical artifacts, too,” Auric replied. “But it’s okay. I found them all thrown away not far from the market. All except one.”

  Before anyone could ask the market trader which artifact was missing, a cry cut through the stillness.

  “HEEEEEEEEEELP!”

  It was faint, but there was no mistaking the voice.

  “That’s Hugo!” Spyro said.

  “Quick,” Master Eon urged. “To the safe.”

  The Skylanders raced through the library, following Eon. No one would have expected that the old man could move so quickly, but the situation was grim. If something had happened to Hugo before he could deposit the last segment of the Mask of Power into the safe . . .

  “Can’t you slow down?” Auric wheezed. He was chasing after them, not wanting to be left alone in the Portal Room.

  “No time!” replied Trigger Happy. “Gotta go, go, go!”

  “There’s the safe!” shouted Spyro as they reached the stone stronghold.

  “It’s locked,” said Master Eon. “Thank goodness.”

  “But where’s the little pipsqueak?” asked Food Fight.

  “I wonder,” Master Eon said, leaning over and spinning the dial. It clicked and whirred as he entered the combination, and the door swung open to reveal . . .

  “A sheep?” said Spyro in amazement.

  A sheep was crammed into the safe, and a scared-looking sheep at that. Its knees knocked and its wool trembled as it stared at them with wide, wet eyes.

  “What’s that hanging around its neck?” Smolderdash asked. Auric bustled through, pushing the Skylanders aside.

  “It’s my missing artifact,” the trader said grimly. “The Shape-Shifting Sapphire Amulet. Absolutely priceless and terribly powerful.”

  Auric reached forward and gently plucked the necklace from around the sheep’s neck. No sooner was it back in his hands than the sheep started to transform into a familiar, trembling figure.

  “Hugo!” Master Eon spluttered in alarm. “Who did this to you, old friend?”

  “I-i-it was a D-D-Drow,” Hugo said, still cringing in the safe. “It t-t-took the segments and left th-th-this.”

  The Mabu reached out a shaking hand, giving the Portal Master a note. Master Eon read it and groaned softly.

  “What does it say, Master Eon?” Spyro asked. The wizard passed the paper to the dragon.

  Spyro’s eyes narrowed as he read the spidery writing.

  Chapter Seven

  Kaos’s Kastle

  Spyro bounded into the Portal Room, where the other Skylanders were waiting for him. Smolderdash had already generated some Solar Orbs, while Food Fight was checking the sights of his fruit cannon. Trigger Happy, meanwhile, was firing coins into the air, too excited to relax his trigger finger. This was going to be their biggest battle yet—and they weren’t alone.

  The Portal Room was packed with many of the Skylanders who had led quests to find the segments of the Mask of Power—Gill Grunt, Lightning Rod, Cynder, Terrafin, Stump Smash, and others—all waiting for Master Eon to give the word. The air in the room was electric (and that wasn’t just because of Zap the Water dragon).

  “Are we leaving?” Trigger Happy asked. “Are we? Are we? Are we?”

  Spyro was about to answer when a voice boomed from behind him.

  “Yes, my Skylanders.” Master Eon swept into the vast chamber. “Today the fate of Skylands rests in your hands. Maybe the fate of the entire universe. I do not have to remind you that if Kaos conquers Skylands, he will have access to everywhere else, too. Nowhere will be safe.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?” asked Food Fight. “Lettuce teach the creep a lesson!”

  “Yeah,” added Terrafin the dirt shark. “And get the five dollars he owes me, too!”

  “Whatever we do,” Spyro said, throwing open his wings and hovering in the air, “we work together. We aren’t completely sure what powers Kaos will receive from the mask, but none of us will be able to defeat him alone. We are Skylanders. We fight together, right?”

  “Right!” chorused the Skylanders.

  Master Eon nodded his approval as he walked toward the Portal of Power. As he approached, the ancient symbols carved into the stone started to glow. He stopped, thrust his staff into the air, and was bathed in light as the surface of the Portal burst into life.

  Gravely, he turned to the Skylanders. “I have opened a Portal to Kaos’s Kastle. Be warned. His minions will be everywhere. Trolls. Drow. Maybe even worse.”

  “We’ll stop him, Master Eon,” Spyro said, swooping close. “You can rely on us.”

  Master Eon smiled. “Of course I can, Spyro. Of that I have no doubt.”

  “Are we ready?” the dragon called over his shoulder.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” shouted Trigger Happy, hopping up and down as the other Skylanders cheered and whooped. They were ready for anything.

  “Then it’s showtime!” Spyro yelled, before plunging into the Portal’s light.

  Kaos’s Kastle suited its owner down to the ground. It positively reeked of evil. Floating on an evil island, it was a cluster of evil towers and evil battlements. Even the flowers in the ornamental gardens looked evil. No birds sang and no insects chirped. The air felt cold and clammy, as if no warmth was allowed.

  And then there were the statues—lots and lots of statues. Kaos had always liked looking at statues of himself. In fact, his first attempt at conquering Skylands had basically involved scattering golden statues of himself all over the place. He had hoped that the people of Skylands would see them all and simply assume that he must be in charge.

  It didn’t work. The locals promptly pulled down each and every one of the eyesores, breaking them up to make rock gardens.

  Needless to say, Kaos wasn’t happy.

  That hadn’t stopped him from trying again, though. Indeed, according to Professor P. Grungally, noted author of Skylands and Why Bad Types Want to Conquer It (Vol. 1–3½), Kaos has tried to take over Skylands approximately 1,839.7 times—sometimes twice before he’s even had breakfast.

  But Spyro wasn’t concerned about any of that as he burst out of Master Eon’s Portal. Not today. The purple dragon, who was once again carrying Trigger Happy on his back, was only focused on the task at hand: getting the Mask of Power away from Kaos before the evil Portal Master could start some serious trouble.

  “Coming through!” Trigger Happy yelled as they appeared high in the sky above the Kastle. The other Skylanders appeared behind them. The ones who couldn’t fly were held aloft by clouds controlled by Lightning Rod the Storm Titan. The ancestral home of the Kaos family loomed beneath them, its ramparts bristling with cannons and Troll troops. And that wasn’t the worst of it.

  “Drow Zeppelins!” Smolderdash yelled, pointing at three airships racing to meet them.

  “They knew we were coming!” added Food Fight, ready to bombard the dark elves’ flying machines with fruits and veggies.

  “Of course they did,” Spyro shouted back. “Kaos knew we wouldn’t give up that easily. Are you all fired up, Skyland
ers?”

  As one, the Skylanders cheered, “Yes!”

  “Then adventure calls!” Spyro cried, swooping into battle.

  The zeppelins had already started firing. Cannonballs zoomed up toward the attacking Skylanders.

  “Is that the best you’ve got?” shouted Terrafin, punching one of the cannonballs away as if it was a beach ball, while Gill Grunt weaved in and out of the onslaught using his water pack.

  Ahead of them all, riding on the back of Cynder, Smolderdash created Solar Orb after Solar Orb, splitting each orb into two with her flame whip. Fireballs rained down on the enemy airships, the first finding its target and igniting the gas in the zeppelin’s balloon.

  “That’s the spirit!” Cynder cheered as Smolderdash turned her attention toward the second balloon.

  “Spyro, look!” Lightning Rod boomed, throwing up a muscular blue arm. “The fiends have reinforcements on the way.”

  Sure enough, an entire armada of Drow Zeppelins was on the horizon. And they were coming in fast.

  Even Spyro gasped at the sight. “I’ve never seen so many.”

  “The more the merrier.” Trigger Happy giggled. “Pow, pow, pow!”

  “But we need to get down to the Kastle,” Spyro reminded him.

  “Why didn’t you say so?” Trigger Happy shrieked. Without another word, he leaped from Spyro’s back and went into a free fall. The Tech Skylander plummeted toward the Kastle’s ramparts, firing coins all the way.

  “Trigger Happy!” Spyro yelled as Lightning Rod roared with laughter beside him.

  “He always jumps in headfirst, that one,” Lightning Rod bellowed. “He’s almost as brave as me!”

  “You go after him, Spyro,” Cynder said, coming up alongside Lightning Rod. “We can handle the Drow, right, guys?”

  The other Skylanders agreed readily; Smolderdash and Food Fight volunteered to go with Spyro.

  “I want to fruit-punch Kaos right in the kisser,” Food Fight said, leaping from his cloud onto Spyro’s back, while Smolderdash jumped after Trigger Happy.

  “Good luck!” Spyro said as he went into a dive, screaming after the Fire Skylander.

  “Luck?” Lightning Rod scoffed. “It’s the Drow that should be worried!” With a hearty chuckle, the Storm Titan clapped his huge hands together, summoning a thunderstorm in the skies around them. “Time to issue an extreme weather warning!”

  “Yeah!” shouted Cynder. “Volts and lightning!”

  As the storm—and the battle—raged overhead, Trigger Happy had already landed outside the main gates and was having a whale of a time dealing with Troll attacks from all angles. There were Trolls wielding wrenches, Trolls lobbing exploding barrels, and Trolls piloting Chompy-spewing tanks.

  Trigger Happy didn’t mind. More Trolls meant more targets, and more targets meant more fun!

  “Eat gold!” he yelled at the advancing army, not even noticing Smolderdash landing gracefully beside him. He soon noticed her Solar Orbs cutting through the Kastle guards, though!

  Above them, Spyro joined the fray, his fiery breath flaring as Food Fight somersaulted from the dragon’s back to land alongside his fellow Skylanders. The four heroes were hideously outnumbered, but the Trolls didn’t stand a chance. Soon the Trolls were covered in tomato pulp, being butted by Spyro’s horns, cowering beneath a shower of coins, or watching helplessly as Smolderdash melted the weapons from their hands.

  Trigger Happy looked up at the huge wooden doors that blocked their entrance to the Kastle. “Shall I blast ’em?”

  “Go for it,” Spyro said, flipping a Troll into the air with a flick of his horns.

  “I’ll help light the way!” shouted Smolderdash, generating a trio of Solar Orbs. “After you, Trigger Happy!”

  As Spyro and Food Fight held back the Trolls, Trigger Happy and Smolderdash stood shoulder to shoulder and fired. Coins rattled against the wood of the door, while Solar Orbs attempted to melt the ornate metal hinges. “They must be thicker than they look,” said Trigger Happy when the doors stubbornly refused to be smashed into smithereens. “Time to get a bigger trigger.”

  Smolderdash watched in awe as one of Trigger Happy’s guns started to change. The barrel of one split open to reveal a large golden missile that grew and grew and grew until it was four times the size of Trigger Happy himself. The gremlin heaved the gun into the air and fired. The missile streaked up before looping over behind them and flying close to the ground to aim itself right at the door.

  Smolderdash took a step back, but Trigger Happy jumped onto the speeding missile, straddling it like a bronco as it flew by.

  “Rocket ride!” He laughed as the missile crashed into the massive double doors and exploded.

  BOOM!

  Chapter Eight

  The Voice of Kaos!

  Smolderdash coughed as the smoke cleared.

  “Trigger Happy?” she called out, worried about her friend. Not that she should have been concerned. The dust settled to reveal the Tech Skylander rolling around on his back and giggling his head off. If it wasn’t for the slightly singed tips of his ears, you’d never have guessed he had just been in the heart of an explosion.

  “What a ride!” he whooped, flipping back over onto his feet.

  Smolderdash was less positive. “The doors are still standing,” she said with a groan.

  Not only that, they looked completely unscathed.

  “We should try again,” said Spyro, whacking a Troll with his tail. “Perhaps if we concentrate all our firepower . . .”

  “Yeah, but what about these Trolls?” said Food Fight. “There’s even more than before.”

  “We could call the others for help,” Smolderdash suggested, but a quick glance up at the battle in the sky told them that Lightning Rod and the others still had their hands full with the Drow.

  “No, it’s up to us!” said Spyro. “For Master Eon . . .”

  “And Skylands,” added Trigger Happy, his golden guns back in his hands.

  But then something strange happened. Actually, it was something downright peculiar. One second the Skylanders were besieged by Trolls, and the next . . .

  WHUMPH! WHUMPH! WHUMPH! WHUMPH!

  One by one, the Trolls disappeared. Above them, the sound of cannon fire suddenly ceased as the Drow Zeppelins broke formation and zoomed away.

  “Where are those pea-brains going?” Food Fight asked. Before anyone could answer, the giant doors of the Kastle creaked open by themselves.

  Lightning Rod, Cynder, and the rest of the Skylanders dropped down to land beside Spyro as he peered into the gloomy Kastle interior.

  “What happened?” asked Gill Grunt.

  “I’ve no idea,” said Spyro. “But I don’t like it.”

  “Do you think it’s a trap?” asked Smolderdash.

  “This is Kaos we’re dealing with,” Spyro replied. “What do you think?”

  “I think we should proceed with caution,” said Lightning Rod. “Not that I’m worried, you understand. I’m just thinking of you guys!”

  Spyro smirked at the Storm Titan’s bravado. Lightning Rod always liked to remind everyone that he was amazing, but this time the look of concern on his noble features was obvious.

  “We’ll be careful.” Spyro nodded. “All of us!”

  “Yeah, careful,” whooped Trigger Happy, who then ran into the Kastle before anyone could stop him. “Here we come.”

  Spyro sighed as the gremlin disappeared through the doors. Well, it wasn’t like Kaos didn’t know they were standing on his front doorstep.

  That’s what worried Spyro most of all.

  The Kastle’s entrance chamber was huge. A staircase rose up to a raised platform behind a massive golden statue of a particularly smug-looking Kaos. The Portal Master had obviously hoped that his likeness was imposing, but the effect was lessened by the fac
t that Trigger Happy was bouncing up and down on the evil Portal Master’s bald head, blowing raspberries.

  “Whoever designed this place was bananas!” Food Fight said, whistling as he gazed up at the high-vaulted ceiling.

  “No kidding,” replied Terrafin. “Can it get any creepier?”

  “Sure it can,” said Cynder, pointing to a portrait on the wall. “Check out this guy.”

  Spyro couldn’t help but snicker. The painting showed a young Kaos with a thick head of dark curly hair standing next to his long-suffering butler-turned-hench-Troll, Glumshanks.

  “Who would have thought that Kaos looked worse with hair?” Cynder said with a smirk.

  “I’M SO GLAD I AMUSE YOU, SKYLOSER!” thundered a voice that seemed to come from every angle.

  “THIS IS THE VOICE OF KAOS,” the voice continued, although there was no mistaking the Portal Master’s nasal whine, even at this volume. “YOU DARE ENTER MY DOMAIN, FOOLS?”

  “Yeah, we dare,” Spyro shouted back.

  “And we dare to kick your butt, too,” Terrafin added, shrugging when he received a long, hard glare from the purple dragon. “What?”

  Spyro rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the disembodied voice. “Show yourself, Kaos. Or are you too scared to face us?”

  Kaos’s voice laughed so much that it almost dissolved into a coughing fit. “ME? SCARED OF YOU? HA! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYTHING SOOOO RIDICULOUS, GLUMSHANKS?”

  Another voice joined the conversation. This one was even whinier, if such a thing were possible.