by MJ Fredrick
The sense of relief that washed through him at making this decision threatened to overwhelm him. That’s what he’d do.
And yeah, he realized that he just had Miranda moving in with him even though they’d only just slept together for the first time in fourteen years. But thinking about making a home with her and Selena, and maybe starting a family….yeah, that was a happy thought he hadn't had in a long time. Hadn't allowed himself to have.
He pulled into the yard of the house he would stop thinking of as home, and saw it was dark. He glanced at his dashboard. Only a little after ten, so that was odd. He crept into the house, not wanting to wake Selena if she was sleeping on the couch.
She wasn’t, so he crept to her room and eased open the door to see her sprawled on her back on her bed. Relaxing, he closed the door softly. He wondered where Ben and Rey were, but they weren't his responsibility, so he wasn't going to seek them out. Instead, he headed for the shower, and wished he had a computer and wireless internet here so he could start looking at some properties.
When he emerged from the shower, his father and brother stumbled through the front door, crashing into first the screen, then the frame. Noah stepped outside his room to hush them before they woke Selena, and stopped short to see them with their arms around each other, both of them drunk to the point of him wondering how the hell they’d gotten home.
“What’s going on here?” he asked in a low voice that carried across the room and stopped the men in their tracks. Ben looked like he wanted to pull away when he saw Noah, but Rey had a pretty good grip on him. “Where have you two been?”
“Garcia’s,” Rey replied. “Good place.”
“You’re not supposed to be going to bars, or you’ll break your parole.” He turned to his brother. “And for God’s sake, Ben, you came this close to going to jail for getting in a fight when you were drunk.”
“They can’t tell a man he’s free, then keep him from enjoying a drink every once in a while,” Rey grumbled, finally releasing Ben as he headed toward the kitchen.
Neither man was making an effort to keep quiet and Noah worried about Selena waking up and witnessing the scene.
“They can, and they will.” Noah resisted the urge to turn on Ben and remind him he knew better, but lately, he wasn't sure his brother did.
“I was there, he came in,” Ben said by way of explanation. “He wanted to buy me a drink, so I let him. Then we started talking, you know. Didn't realize how much I had until I got up.”
Noah looked past them to the yard, where Ben’s truck was parked crookedly beside his own. “And you decided to drive.”
“Better than calling you and listening to your judgement,” Rey said from the kitchen, where he stood with a piece of bread slathered with butter.
“Better listening to me than killing five people,” Noah shot back. “Damn it, how could you both be so stupid?” The thought of what could have happened sent a chill of terror through him. They could have killed someone, or been killed themselves. He’d thought Ben knew better, after everything Noah had taught him, and God knew, he thought Rey would feel some remorse for what he’d done and would vow never to do it again.
Both of them were too drunk now to take him seriously, or even think about the consequences.
“There ain’t no food?” Rey asked, turning back to the kitchen.
“I ate in town,” Noah said, unwilling to mention Miranda’s name to his family yet, and not sure why. “I guess Selena had a sandwich or something.” Another thing to feel guilty about. But Selena was old enough to take care of basic needs. He just didn't want her to have to fend for herself.
Rey grunted and turned back into the kitchen, and Ben followed. Noah stood in the doorway and watched the two men who had avoided each other for the past few weeks work together to make sandwiches. A very small part of him wished he’d been at Garcia’s, just to hear what they discussed as they drank themselves stupid. Had they found a peace that would last? Or was it only peace found in the common desire to drink? Noah’s helplessness at getting them to see their problems made him angry, and damn it, he hated being angry all the time.
He turned and walked back to his room, leaving them to their dinner, and wondering how they’d feel when they woke in the morning. Good thing he and Selena wouldn't be here.
*****
He didn't have appointments around lunch time so he went into the clinic. He gave the animals on hand a cursory check, then closed himself into the office to look at real estate online. Allison Bonner was Evansville’s only real estate agent, and he wasn't ready to talk to Miranda’s sister about buying a house for Miranda. This was just an idea that had popped into his head last night, and he wanted to see if it was even feasible. Their ranch was paid for, outside of the yearly taxes that he put aside money for monthly, so he was at least accustomed to making payments. And he had a decent income. Not decent enough for the prices he’d heard quoted during the height of the boom, but if things had settled down now, well, he could see.
Three bedrooms, at least, he figured, typing in the search parameters. Two baths, because growing up with one had been a pain. As he scrolled, he didn't see many one-bathroom houses anyway. He winced a bit at some of the prices on acreage a fraction of the ranch’s acreage, but independence and freedom from worry about Selena would be worth it. And he had some savings, so he could manage a decent downpayment.
Most of the houses were old, and none felt good enough for Miranda.
Miranda, who didn't even know the direction his heart was heading. Miranda, who’d only been back a couple of weeks, who had just rented a home with two friends, who hadn't even started her practice yet. Miranda, who he needed to push to the back of his mind. He could get one of these houses, just for Selena and him, and he could see where things went with Miranda and then later on she could move in. He’d start looking at the plan that way.
That didn't expand his options too much, though. A lot of the properties looked like they needed more work than he had time to give them. He sighed and closed the laptop. Maybe talking to Allison was the best idea.
But he had appointments all afternoon, so he’d deal with her tomorrow.
He wondered if he should make plans to see Miranda tonight, since he’d left Selena alone last night. And he didn't know what Rey and Ben’s plans were. Were they drinking buddies now? The thought made him sick, would have made Ben sick just a few days ago.
Maybe he’d call his brother and see if they could meet for lunch at the Coyote. They had been close when they were younger, before Ben had taken the job in the oilfields, and Ben had looked up to him. But once Ben started working long hours and making good money, well, he’d turned toward a wilder life, and Noah was, to his mind, a stick-in-the-mud. Maybe Noah just needed to make an effort to renew the connection.
Ben groaned instead of saying hello when he answered the phone.
“I thought you would have had more tolerance for alcohol, given all the practice you put in,” Noah observed.
“Fuck off,” Ben grunted.
“Nice. Want to meet up for lunch?”
“What?”
“Meet me at the Coyote and I’ll buy you lunch. You’re not working today, right?”
“Why?” Ben asked, no longer groaning but definitely suspicious.
“It’s been a while since the two of us sat down and talked.”
“I’m not in the mood for a lecture.”
Noah’s heart twinged. Is that how his brother saw him? As a scolding authority figure? He supposed he had been, lately, but only because Ben was making ridiculous choices. “No lecture. Just talk. Catch up. See what’s been going on with each other.”
“We live in the same house.”
“But when was the last time just the two of us had anything to say to each other? Just meet me. I’ll buy.”
“I gotta shower,” Ben said slowly, but Noah took that for acceptance.
“I’ll meet you there in about an hour, then.”
“All right.” Ben slurred the words together, his tone still doubtful, and ended the call.
Noah tucked his phone away. He had an hour to think of what to say to his brother that wouldn't be lecturing.
*****
Even though Noah gave Ben an hour, Ben was late, and when he walked in, he was unshaven and his hair was a mess. Selena, working the lunch, had been fluttering around Noah’s table when she wasn't busy, excited to see her brother during the day. When Ben walked in, she was ecstatic.
Ben hugged her against his side and kissed the top of her head. “Fell back asleep,” he said as he dropped into a chair across from his brother, picking up the menu at the same time.
“I’ll get your drinks,” Selena promised, bouncing off.
“Didn't know this would be a family affair,” Ben grumbled.
“Still hungover?”
Ben cast him a sharp look. “Probably for a couple more hours.”
“And Dad?”
“Didn't see him today. Car was there when I left.”
Selena returned with the two glasses and set one carefully in front of each brother before heading back to clear another table.
“So what do you have going on this weekend?” Noah asked Ben when she moved away.
Ben regarded him suspiciously. “Why?”
This was going to be harder than Noah thought, getting his brother to stop being on-guard all the time. “I’m just asking. I’m not checking up on you, I’m not asking you to look after Selena. I’m just asking.”
“I have another group of hunters coming down for the weekend, taking them out to the Alaniz place and hope they get a pig.”
“You like doing that? Being a guide for rich guys?”
Ben sat up straight. “Why wouldn't I?”
Noah lifted his hands in surrender. “I’m just asking.” How often was he going to have to say that during this lunch?
“Yeah, I like it. I like being outside, I like talking hunting and guns. Maybe I’ll hate it after a while, and I know I can’t do it all year long, but right now, yeah, I like it.”
“Good,” Noah said.
Darlene came by for their orders, and Noah asked for a brisket plate. His stomach had been growling from the time he made the phone call. The bigger the plate, the better. Ben copied him, since, of course, Noah was paying.
“You seeing anybody?” Noah asked, trying to find some topic that would take off and erase this awkwardness between them.
Ben looked up sharply from stirring sugar into his tea. “I thought we had this conversation after my hearing.”
“I’m not asking if you’re seeing Allison. I’m just asking.” There it was again. “I’m trying to show interest in your life. It feels like we’re strangers lately.”
Ben forcibly relaxed his shoulders. “I’m not seeing anyone seriously. I’m dating around. Lots of pretty single girls in town.”
“There are.” He waited for Ben to take a drink, hoping he’d elaborate. He didn’t.
“What about you? Who’d you eat in town with last night?”
Of all the things for his brother to remember from his drunk. “Who said I ate with anyone?”
“Are you getting back with Miranda?”
Noah sat up, sliding his hands across the table, avoiding his brother’s gaze. “So I’m expected to answer questions but you don't have to?”
Ben lifted a shoulder. “Maybe you should be more direct with your questions.”
“Okay, which of the ladies in town are you seeing?”
Ben wagged a finger, the first hint of a smile on his lips. “You first.”
All right, if a confession would grease this conversation wheel, he’d reply. “Yes, I was with Miranda last night.”
Ben raised his eyebrows. “With Miranda?”
Noah’s face heated, a reaction he hadn't expected, but which drew a grin from his brother. “Yes, with her.”
Ben leaned back in his chair and Noah opened his mouth to tell his brother not to spread the word, but then he realized he really didn't care if the whole town knew they were together again.
“After she left you the way she did? Are you a masochist?”
“She was a kid in a situation she could get out of. I can’t hold that against her.”
“Did she tell you the real reason she came back to Evansville?”
“There’s a real reason?”
“There’s bound to be. No one chooses to come back here.”
“Grady McKenna did.”
“Grady McKenna’s family owns a ranch worth millions. Ain’t no hardship for him to come back and play at being a pilot. Why did Miranda come back though? She was a success in New York, as far as anyone knows.”
“And she can be a success here.”
Selena took great delight in trailing behind Darlene, carrying one of the plates, which she set carefully in front of Noah. “Can I get you anything else?” she asked before Darlene could.
Noah smiled at Darlene, appreciating how she looked after his sister. “We’re all good, thanks, Sis.”
Ben rolled his eyes at the delay, but waited until the women walked away before he asked, “So you’re serious about getting back together with her.”
“Damned serious.” He hadn't realized how much until he said the words.
“And what, you’re going to marry her and bring her out to the ranch?”
“Thinking about getting a place closer to town.”
Ben’s eyes widened. “Seriously. Moving out.”
Now this, Noah hadn't planned to discuss with him. He nodded toward their sister, who was visiting with Liz Salazar from the salon, and glancing their direction every now and again. “And taking Selena.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I am. It’s Dad’s land, let him have it.”
“And leave me out there with him.”
Noah shrugged. “Up to you. I figure you’ll find a job or meet a woman and you’ll want better. I’m sorry I didn't put more money into the house, more effort. Even if Dad hadn't come home, it’s not a place I’d want to bring a wife, not the way it is.”
Ben grunted and shoved a forkful of potato salad into his mouth. “What about your animals?”
“I’m working on that,” Noah said. He wanted so much to ask about what Ben and their father had talked about last night at the bar, but right now they had an easy truce. He didn't want to shake it up just yet.
They made small talk as they ate, Ben telling him about the men he’d be guiding over the weekend, Noah talking about the cow he’d treated this morning, who’d had her stomach out of place.
“We had to sedate her and roll her onto her back,” he told his brother. “Then I had to suture her stomach in place.”
“Have you treated a cow for that before?” Ben asked.
“No, I had to do some research to figure out what was wrong. She was in a bad way, but she should be okay by now.”
Ben shook his head. “My life is much simpler than yours.”
Noah chuckled. “Maybe professionally. Not personally.”
Once Selena had cleared their plates, Noah folded his arms on the table.
“You’d think those women would keep you out of Garcia’s.”
Ben tensed again. “Maybe the women chase me into Garcia’s,” he retorted.
Noah laughed again. “Not a surprise.”
“I was surprised to see Dad come in,” Ben said. “If I hadn't already had a couple of beers, I would have probably walked out. But when he sat beside me and said he owed me a drink, well, I figured that was the least thing he owed me.”
Noah could see that. He held his breath, not wanting to say anything that would stop his brother from continuing.
“One drink led to another. You should have seen his face when he took that first drink, man.” Ben shook his head. “It was like he’d reached Nirvana. I almost felt bad for him. But then he didn't stop, you know, and I wanted to go, but I didn't want him drinking and driving.
”
“So you did it?” Noah bit his tongue as soon as he said the words. “Max didn't stop you?”
“We left when Max was busy at the other end of the bar. We shouldn't have. I know. I was careful, though, and there wasn't much traffic.”
Noah had promised not to lecture, but damn, he wanted to tell his brother how much Ben’s drinking bothered him. How many problems he foresaw his brother having because of it. How much it reminded him of their father. But any of those things would put Ben’s back up, he knew. He had to find a way, but now wasn't the time.
“Thank God you were safe,” Noah said.
Ben scrubbed a hand down his face. “Yeah, looking back, that was a stupid thing to do. Getting drunk with Dad was pretty stupid, too.”
“What did he say?”
Ben studied his tea pretty seriously. “Honestly, it was kind of a bitchfest about you.”
“About me.” Ouch. But not a shock.
“Yeah, about how you're running things and how you want everyone to do things your way.”
“Because I’m the grown-up in the family?” Noah fought not to let his temper show. He had asked, after all.
“Because you act like your—” Ben stopped himself when Darlene dropped off the check. “Like your feet don't stink,” Ben modified the saying that Noah was very familiar with.
“Can’t help it that I want people in the house to think about other people in the house,” Noah said, and realized how prim he sounded.
“He also said you asked him about some missing drugs from your office.”
Of course he did. Was his brother ready to defend their father? “I asked him what he knew about those kinds of drugs. He used, you know, before he went in. There’s no reason to think he didn't use when he was in, too, that he wouldn't know what the value of those pills were.”
Ben lifted a shoulder. “No reason to think he’d take them, either.”
“I didn't ask if he took them.”
“But you thought he might have.”
“Ben, I don’t even think he knows where my clinic is.”
Ben lifted a shoulder. “Probably true. Did you go to the sheriff?”