by Tina Leonard
Fannin jumped to his feet along with all his brothers. They ran for the pasture. Fannin couldn’t decide if he was more shocked by Last on the ground, lights out, or Bloodthirsty making it with Princess all over the front forty.
Princess seemed very willing, too.
“Guess she wanted to be stormed,” Calhoun said to Fannin.
“I’ll say. Let’s get Mr. Green Jeans up off the grass. Hey, Last, you look like you’ve been rolling on the ground all night. Only Helga will be able to get the stains out of your pants. And what the hell perfume are you covered in?”
They hung Last between them like a flapping shirt on a clothesline and walked him toward the main house.
“I always knew that when the baby decided to sin, it was going to be maximum output,” Archer opined.
“Whatever,” Fannin said. “He smells like he’s been in a house of ill repute. That is some skanky perfume he’s wearing.”
“Did you see this?” Crockett asked, jogging up to catch them. “Check out this bottle.”
Fannin halted, taking his free hand to examine and smell the bottle. He read the label and grimaced. “Throw that in a trash can far away from the house. And somebody keep Mason away until I can get the baby of the family cleaned up. Ask Calhoun and Bandera to keep an eye on Princess. The way Bloodthirsty’s going at her, I should have a litter of calves. I don’t want him to injure her or himself.”
“Wonder what fired him up?” Archer asked.
“I have no idea. Maybe he’d had a blockage of something and didn’t feel like it. Whatever it was, it’s passed now and he’s in raring good form. That’s the bounty bull I saw my brothers get thrown from.”
They walked Last up the stairs and tossed him over the side of the bathtub, then heaved him in completely with his clothes still on, his chin lying on his chest. “Some Christmas morning, Last, you idiot,” Fannin said. “Could we ever have a normal family, please?”
“No.” Archer bent over to turn on the cold water. “We have family, but it’s not normal. Mason would freak if he saw Last in this condition. We’ve got to get him conscious again.”
Fannin shook his head. “Cold water should do the trick. I never saw anybody so out before. It’s like Spanish fly or something.”
“Wonder if bro had himself a little spanish señorita then? Since he’s all messed up.”
“I hope not.” Fannin grimaced. “In his condition, he couldn’t get a condom on if he tried. He’d be missing that target all night.” Speaking of condoms, he wanted to wish a special someone Merry Christmas. “Holler when gorgeous either wakes up or drowns. I want to make a quick phone call.”
“Gotcha.” Archer fixed Last into a sitting position, sat himself on the toilet lid and began to read a Playboy mag he pulled out from underneath the sink.
Fannin sighed and went to Frisco Joe’s old room to make the phone call. He thought about the last time he’d seen this room—from the outside looking in—and how beautiful Kelly had been, doing the things a woman did.
All he wanted for Christmas was to talk to her.
If she’d talk to him.
But all he got on the line was a “This number is no longer in service” recording.
Chapter Thirteen
Bloodthirsty had definitely done the job, Fannin thought two months later as he stared into the pasture at his fat cow. They could say he’d done it out of season, they could say he should have used a syringe, but it didn’t matter now. Princess was one contented cow. She was going to give him a wonderful calf for Mimi’s baby.
Nanette was too small to know that she was living in a circle of great love. She was a calm baby, but that was probably due to the fact that Mason barely ever put her down. If he did, another brother was waiting for the handoff. In the evening, it seemed that more of them hung around at Mimi’s house now. That way they could keep an eye on the sheriff and Mason and the baby—and, though none of them said it out loud, they were pretty much following the stove.
Helga’s food might not be their favorite, but neither was what they cooked. The silent pact between them was that they all quit bitching about Helga. It was a lesson well learned after the bounty of Christmas presents she’d surprised them with.
They didn’t deserve her—and they’d learned it the hard way.
The only one who wasn’t adjusting well to the new scenario was Fannin. He felt awkward around Helga. He would have liked to blame it on the pervert-on-a-ladder incident.
The truth was, every time he looked at her, he wanted to ask where Kelly was. He’d never been able to give her the gifts Lily had picked out—it was nearly Valentine’s Day, and the Christmas presents had taken up residence in his closet next to Kelly’s thong.
It had all happened too fast. She made him crazy! In his life, out of his life! One minute he wanted her, the next minute he didn’t know what he wanted! All he knew was that she’d changed him. He’d gone from caring what his brothers thought to not giving a damn.
Princess was proof they didn’t know anything.
He spent all his time now searching databases for Maverick. Anything to keep his mind off Kelly.
The sad thing was that his mind stayed on her, anyway.
Then it hit him, like great sacks of smarts falling on his stupid head.
All he had to do was go visit the Honey-Do Agency in Diamond, Texas! That’s how he’d gotten her in the first place. He’d simply placed an order. Not for her, but for the kind of girl he thought he wanted.
This time, he’d be her not-made-to-spec order.
KELLY HELD BACK TEARS as she shut off her computer for the day. The Honey-Do Agency was growing at an alarming rate, which meant she was making a lot of money. Enough to bring her mother home to retire comfortably, which Helga wouldn’t do now.
Kelly thought that was ironic. She’d gone to the ranch to save her mother but her mother had decided not to be saved.
“I need saving now,” she said to Joy. The agency wasn’t the only thing that was growing at an alarming rate.
“Hey,” a man’s voice said, “I’m here to fill an order.”
She whipped around. “Fannin!”
He grinned, and her heart skipped too many beats to count. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just passing through and I decided to take a look at the infamous Honey-Do Agency. None of us had ever seen it.” He glanced around, then looked straight at her, from her boots to her long hair. “Nice.”
Her gaze lowered.
“Are you glad to see me?” he asked.
They hadn’t parted on the most reconciled of terms. “I’m always happy to see a previous customer,” she hedged. “Of course, Mother’s no longer at your place, so I guess you’re not a current client.”
Joy jumped out of the Coach bag and went to Fannin. He scooped her up instantly. “She remembers me.”
So did I, Kelly wanted to say. “How are all of you? The brothers, I mean?”
“Well, Mason’s playing at being an uncle and Last is acting odd. Ever since the night Mimi’s baby was born, he’s been weird.” Fannin shrugged. “The place isn’t the same without your mother.”
“Oh. Well, she seems a lot less homesick now. I guess it worked out for everybody.”
“Except us. The boys almost wish she would come back. Kinda funny, huh?”
Kelly didn’t say anything.
“Kelly, I’m sorry. I behaved…badly. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t expecting you and you caught me off guard and I tried to play it too cool.”
She nodded. “I’m sure we both acted out of character at times. It’s hard when you don’t know each other.”
“You look really nice,” he said, to cover the awkwardness. “Beautiful, actually.”
“They say the glow of pregnancy agrees with even the homeliest of women,” Kelly said.
The smile slowly slipped off his face. “Glow of pregnancy?”
She closed her eyes briefly against the news she was stil
l reeling from. “I suppose twins would make a woman glow twice as much.”
“Twins?” He staggered to a chair and fell into it. His gaze went to her stomach and back to her face. “Call me a dunce, but…you’re not trying to tell me you’re pregnant with twins, are you?”
“Yeah, I am.” She winced. “The doctor thinks he hears two heartbeats. I’m hoping it’s gas.”
“My twins? We’re talking about my twins?”
She didn’t bother with a reply.
“Oh, my God,” he said. He stared at her, stunned. Then he leaped straight out of the chair. “Oh, my God! We’re going to have to get married right away. Does your mother know? She’s going to be so happy! Well, first she’s going to be mad as hell at me. I know she doesn’t particularly care for me, but I’ll work on her and—”
“No, Fannin.” Kelly shook her head. “No marriage.”
“But…” He looked at her oddly. “Kelly, you’re having my children. Probably my sons,” he said in a reverent whisper. “The first sons in the family. I never saw myself as a father…but—” His smile was huge as he shrugged. “Hey, I’m babbling! I don’t know what to think. My brothers are going to flip when I tell them that not only is Princess expecting but so is—”
“Fannin!”
“Well, I didn’t mean you were like Princess or anything, or that I could hold a candle to Bloodthirsty Black. I mean, you shoulda seen ’im in action!”
“Fannin!” Kelly wasn’t sure about this reenergized Fannin. It was like he had a motor in his mouth that was disconnected from his brain. “I don’t want anybody to know,” Kelly said. “I’m sure you understand.”
“Actually, no, I don’t.”
She sighed. “Not right now, anyway. Fannin, maybe you and I could sort this through ourselves without your whole family being involved. They’re kind of busybodies.”
“My brothers are busybodies?”
“Yes.” She said it with determination. “You know, I took criticism about my mother from you. You can handle a little truth about your brothers.”
He backed up a step. “Kelly, that’s my family you’re talking about.”
“And it was my mother you were free to criticize two months ago.”
“Yeah, but your mother was acting under a misapprehension. My brothers are all great guys.”
She raised her brows. “Continue, please. You’re winning points all over the place.”
“Oh, come on, Kelly. Your mother thought I was a pervert. You know exactly what I’m saying.”
“Yes, I think I do. You’re right and I’m wrong. Your family is right, and mine is wrong. You’re apologizing, but it has a free-wind feel to it. It blows this way, it blows that way, but either way, it blows.” She put her hands out for Joy to come to her. The tiny poodle did, but she seemed reluctant. “Traitor,” she murmured.
“Well, I think even Joy knows that you might be a trace irrational if you’re pregnant with twins. That’s kind of funny, because there we were worrying and walking on eggshells because we thought you had PMS. And you were pregnant!”
“PMS?” Her brows knitted together. “You discussed whether or not I had PMS with your brothers?”
“Well, you were acting odd. We just surmised that you might have PMS. I’m glad my brothers brought it up actually, because I’d never heard of…hang on, Preliminary… Moody… Miserable…I think it was moody. Preliminary Moody Something. Hell, I don’t know, Kelly! We’d never had it in our house before. So they warned me, and I was real nice to you.”
“Which just proves my point.” She gestured Fannin to the door. “They’re busybodies, and you have a ham warming between your ears. By Valentine’s Day, it should be ready for ham rolls.” She locked the door. “Goodbye, Fannin.”
“Wait!” He trotted after her to her car. “You can’t walk away like that.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“I’ll hire you,” Fannin said quickly.
Kelly looked at him. “To do what?”
“To look for my father with me. I’m pretty sure I’m the man I am today because my father left when we were young. I want to find my roots just as much as you want to find yours.”
She put Joy in the car and looked up at him. “Not everyone has the luxury of excuses for their behavior, Fannin.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, and she was somewhat touched that he was trying so hard.
“I’m not giving you an excuse. I’m telling you that hitting our teen years without parents made us all a little dysfunctional. And there may have been some other small things thrown in, which skewed us from The Brady Bunch path. I may not like to hear that, but since people call our ranch Malfunction Junction, there may be some truth to it.” He took a deep breath. “I just feel that if I’m going to be a father, I’m bloody well going to do it right. And…better than my father was able to.”
That did touch her. “I don’t know. What if I have girls? You seemed pretty set on boys in there. I found it a trifle insulting.”
“You get insulted too easy. You’re a very temperamental redhead.” He rubbed at his jaw briskly. “I don’t care if we have boys, girls or puppies. I want you and me to find middle ground. For starters.”
“Can we?”
“You had me frothing at the mouth for you. I’m sure if you try really hard, it’ll come back.”
She arched a brow at him.
“And if I try really hard, you may not be so possessed of a desire to kick my pants.”
“That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said.” She nodded. “Come home with me. We’ll set some parameters.”
“I’m not real keen on parameters,” Fannin said.
“But you’ll learn to find them useful,” she said.
“But I’m sure I’ll learn to find them useful,” he replied, going to his truck.
Kelly watched him go, the swagger back in his walk. The truth was, she was glad Fannin was here.
“Although I’m sure he’s not the man for me,” she told Joy. “I mean, I thought I was having a fling. From fling to father.” She started the car. “That seems out-of-order, doesn’t it?”
FANNIN STARED around the little three-bedroom home that belonged to Kelly and Helga. It was done in comforting golds, browns and shades of paprika red. Green showed up in living plants of varying sizes, and there was a huge black easy chair he knew right away was meant for him. It looked old, well-worn and comfortable.
But he waited for Kelly’s signal that he could make himself at home. “Nice place.”
“Thanks.” She turned on a lamp with a black shade and gold fringe. “Fannin, I realized something on the way over here. We’ll be going from overloaded sex appeal to being parents.”
“I still think you’re sexy. I mean, I’d have sex right now if you wanted.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Kelly looked as if she was trying not to grind her teeth. “We’d be missing some building blocks of a relationship.”
“Well, I’m here. Let’s start building.” Hey, anything she wanted, she was going to get. He was on a mission to be the father he’d lost. Better, even.
“Let me try it this way. You said I was a girl having her first fling so she could say she lived it up before she got married to Mr. Right.”
“Hey, lucky me, huh? I’m fulfilling both of those ‘parameters.”’ He grinned, pleased with himself. “I do like that word after all. It’s starting to roll off my tongue.”
“You’re impossible, Fannin. You turn everything to your advantage.”
“That’s a product of growing up in a home with twelve brothers and no parents.” He patted her stomach. “These kids are gonna know their daddy. I’m going to be at every football game, every wrestling match, every deer bagging—”
“They might be girls,” she said impatiently. “Fannin, you don’t listen!”
“I was talking about them being girls,” he said with surprise. “Girls do everything guys do, sometimes better. D
ang, you should see Mimi gut a deer.”
“Gut…a deer?” Kelly went totally white.
“Whoa, there. Hang on, Kelly. Don’t get upset. She can also gut a fish—”
Kelly went running from the room.
Fannin blinked, hearing the bathroom door slam. “I don’t know what I said, but I think I upset her. Gosh, I thought we were over the evil deer problem.” He crept to the door, but instead of weeping, he heard what sounded like Last two months ago, when he finally came to and threw up all over the place. “Oh,” he said. When there was a break in the action, he tapped lightly on the door.
He got no answer, so he opened it slowly.
Kelly was crouched over the commode, green as anything he’d ever seen.
“Don’t come in,” she said.
“I’m coming in.” He flushed the toilet since she seemed to be hanging on to the lid for dear life. He took a hair doohickey off the tray on the sink and pulled her hair behind her in an ugly but effective ponytail. “A cold compress on the back of your neck should feel good,” he said, laying a cloth he’d run under the sink across her skin. “Are you finished?”
“I think so. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Well,” he said, handing her a Dixie cup full of water to swish out her mouth, “you’re a helluva lot more graceful than Last when you hurl, plus you have aim.”
He waited until she spit out the water, and when that didn’t produce bad results, he lifted her into his arms.
“Fannin, I’m too heavy for you,” she said, lolling her head against his shoulder.
“I’ve carried cows heavier than you,” he said.
“I’m going to slap you when I’m stronger,” she murmured. “You’re not supposed to compare the mother of your children to a cow.”
“Let’s not talk about animals anymore,” he said, laying her down in the back bedroom. He could tell it was hers because Helga had lovingly decorated the room with beautiful lace and pillows and borders and china figurines. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother, just like your mother,” he said, pulling the covers over her after he took off her shoes.