She hung around outside getting more and more irritated with herself. This was ridiculous. A grown woman spooked by a door she probably left open. That same door stood between her and the rest of her packing. Nonsense.
Squaring her shoulders, she climbed the stairs and pushed her way inside. Her head snapped back, and she felt sharp steel at her throat. Her scalp burned from fingers in her hair, and she tried to swallow. Every breath filled her nostrils with the familiar musky scent of aftershave. Roric.
Kicking the door closed, he dragged her to the lounge. She struggled to stay on her feet, swinging between the fire blazing in her scalp and the blade at her throat. Isobel wanted to scream. Her mind darted like a firefly. Any sound and he’d slit her throat. Phone was out of reach. She was out of options.
Jesus, please.
“Where’s the kid?”
“Gone.”
He tugged hard. Bel ground her teeth.
“Don’t push me. Where is she?”
She forced words out, grimacing. “Not here. Found another home.”
He ran the edge of his knife across her skin. Liquid warmth trailed down her neck. “Not good enough.”
“She’s gone. Give it up. Move on.” Swallowing sent pain searing down her throat.
“Do not lie to me!” Every word a tug on her hair.
Her vision began to blur, edges fuzzy with throbbing agony. In the middle of it all, she saw Mia. In a moment of sharp clarity, she knew that nothing mattered to her more than the little girl’s life. If she existed to keep Mia alive, that would be enough.
She heard the front gate swing open, and Mia’s excited babble filtered through the open window.
Melindi responded.
Bel couldn’t hear the words, but she felt the knife tip press hard against her skin. Any noise and he’d drive the point deep, ripping her windpipe. Calling out a warning would do no good. Her insides writhed in helpless desperation.
Someone knocked on the front door. The squeak of the knob turning. Tiny footsteps padded down the passage.
“Mine?” Mia called out. She burst into the lounge as if she were the seeker in hide-and-seek. She bounced in and stopped, eyes-wide at the sight of Roric and Isobel.
The pressure on Bel’s skin increased a fraction, just enough to warn her.
Melindi came round the corner. Her face blanched.
Roric laughed, sick and slow. “Aaah. Just who I was hoping to see.”
Melindi pulled Mia close, arm around her protectively. She drew back.
Roric shook his head, gesturing to the knife at Bel’s throat. “Uh-uh. Stay put.”
Mia stared at Bel. She’d picked up on the mood in the room; fear clouded her eyes. She fell quiet and turned her head to the side as a bird would, listening. Nodding, she smiled. All the fear in her face disappeared, as if someone flipped a switch. With a chuckle, she ducked under Melindi’s arm. Before Melindi could grab her, Mia toddled straight towards Roric, her face alight with what could most closely be described as love.
Bel felt the blade quiver against her skin. Roric’s grip in her hair tightened as Mia came close.
Mia wrapped her arms around his leg, upturned face beaming affection.
The knife slipped out of Roric’s hand and fell with a dull thud on the carpet.
As his other hand released, Bel dropped to her knees, her scalp stinging. For a brief moment, she saw stars. Clutching her neck, she looked up to see Roric cringing away from Mia.
Mia had her arms wrapped firmly around his knees, cooing adoration.
Bel wanted to scream. Grab her baby. Run. But the longer Mia held Roric, the soggier he became.
Melindi ducked back into the passage, and Isobel heard her punching numbers into the phone.
Instincts burned inside Isobel. Snatch Mia and run. She forced herself to stand still. What she was seeing made no sense.
Roric was on his knees with Mia brushing her fingers through his hair. She jabbered non-stop, pausing only to put her arms around his neck and hug him tight. There were no recognisable words in what she said. She chattered on and he knelt as one hypnotised.
Isobel stood, one hand clutched her bleeding neck while her insides coiled tight, waiting for Roric to snap. She eyed the knife on the floor. Should she pick it up?
The crunch of tyres sounded on the paving.
Three men in blue uniforms came in through the open door with their weapons in hand. Roric put up no fight as they cuffed him, read him his rights and took him away. One of the officers bagged the knife, still covered in Isobel’s blood. Through it all, Roric’s eyes never left Mia’s face.
She dimpled a smile and waved to him as he left.
Halfway down the path, he surfaced from the his daze and realized what was happening. He started swearing and threatening to hit the police officers who were arresting him.
Only when the police cars engines were out of earshot did Bel start breathing again. She dropped down to her knees, and Mia folded herself into Bel’s arms.
Melindi wrapped them both in a clumsy hug from behind, breathing over them. “It is over. It’s really over.”
30
Isobel watched Liam take a third slice of pizza, wrapping the stringy cheese around it using his pinky. He bit into it, sighing happy contentment.
Ben picked out two slices loaded with the most bacon. He bit into one of them. “I like this picnic party.” His words came out funny, spoken over and around the food in his mouth.
Isobel laughed. She pulled the picnic blanket straight. The rain outside had forced them indoors, but it could have been on an exotic beach somewhere for the joy inside her. It felt good to be happy. Glancing across the room filled with the people she’d come to love most, she found herself agreeing with God. Light had truly triumphed over darkness. With Roric gone, a black cloud had dissipated over the two little families.
This picnic party—on the floor of her lounge—was their celebration.
Liam gazed at her.
A blush crept into her cheeks and she fussed over the chip bowl, avoiding meeting his eyes. Her heart cautiously delighted in his attention.
Mia toddled around, picking her lunch off everyone else’s plates. Pineapple from Liam, a cocktail sausage from Ben, she made her way around the circle moving on only when she’d chewed and swallowed. Each stolen morsel acknowledged with a sincere “Tank yooo!” gathering a fresh round of aahs.
They sat in the glow of Light that sent darkness crashing.
Isobel found herself revelling in the weightlessness of it. Her soul flew as a feather on a breeze, no longer weighed down.
Maybe Liam had been right about trusting. She could start with the people in this room.
****
The next morning, they woke to sunshine, no wind and Mia with more energy than the small house could contain. A beach trip seemed the only logical answer.
Liam took her hand as they crossed the hot sand.
Bel let him. No need to keep walls up or fight her feelings. Now was the time for recovery. Rediscovery. Her broken mirror portrait came to mind and she could feel light blazing through the cracks, transforming…restoring.
Mia toddled ahead in a swimsuit, her body looking tiny with no bulky nappy. The sunlight played through her shiny hair, gleaming bright highlights as she moved. She stopped after a few steps to kick up sand and wave to a surfer waxing his board.
He waved back, his white teeth gleaming against his dark skin.
Liam leaned in close. “She seems fine coming back here.”
Bel slowed her breathing. His nearness rattled her. Calm down, heart. “Might be a different story at the driftwood.” Sounding normal took every scrap of effort.
He squeezed her hand. “We need to do this. Got to be some answers.”
Isobel bit the inside of her cheek to stop laughing. He’d mistaken her breathlessness as concern for Mia. Of course, she was concerned for Mia, but not in a way that would caused her to have such trouble breathing.
&
nbsp; The dried-up tree hadn’t moved since the last time she’d been down here. She’d been to hell and back, but the wood had stayed put. “There it is.”
Mia had drifted toward the gentle lapping of cool, emerald waves.
“Mia! This way, love.”
Mia looked up at her name and came running. She swerved towards the wood, squealing with glee. Not quite the reaction Isobel was expecting. They came around the other side, the side where Isobel had found her.
Liam led Isobel, her feet suddenly reluctant.
Mia was sitting on the log by the time they came close. Her legs were swinging, too short to reach the sand. They went to sit by her, but she pushed them with a fervent, “No, no!”
How odd. Isobel asked, “Can we sit by you?”
“Uh-huh.”
Isobel went to sit to her left but Mia stood up to push her sideways. “No!”
She sat a bit further down earning a smile from the little girl.
Liam frowned. “Can I sit here, Mia?” He gestured to the open spot right next to her.”
She looked up at him as if he’d lost his mind. “No! No, Lim.”
“Why not?”
She patted the open space, her face lighting up the way it had on the day she’d vanquished Roric. “Jesus.”
“Jesus? Is sitting here?”
Mia nodded, beaming at him for finally getting it.
Bel caught Liam’s eye over the top of her head. He shrugged, nose wrinkling in puzzlement.
Mia closed her eyes, raising her face to the sun. “Jesus here al’a time.”
“Mia, do you remember being here?”
The tiny girl looked around her, shoulders sagging. She nodded. “Mommy swim. Gone.” She stared at her hands in her lap.
Sharp pain tore through Isobel. This is what she was worried about.
Mia patted her legs, dimpled grin returning, “Jesus here. Mommy gone. Jesus here.”
Wriggling off the branch, she sat on the sand and began burying her legs with handfuls of fine whiteness, pausing now and then to stare at the sea. Raising both hands, palms up, she asked Bel, “Where Mommy?”
Liam shook sand out of his flip-flop. “She’s got a point.”
Bel ignored him and sank to her knees in the soft sand next to the orphan. She ran her fingers through Mia’s hair, wishing she could weave her love into a blanket to wrap around her. “Your mommy is gone, Mia. But I’m here. Liam is here. I love you, Mia.”
Mia took in every word, frowning as she sorted through what it all meant and how it affected her world. Her eyes grew distant, and her face lit up at something beyond were Bel was sitting. “Jesus here.” With that, she stood up sending sand flying. Slowly and deliberately she wrapped one arm around Bel’s neck and held the other out to Liam.
He sank to his knees from where he’d been perched on the driftwood. As soon as he was close enough Mia slipped her arm around his neck too. For that moment, nothing else mattered.
By 11AM, the heat of the sun and her hungry belly told Isobel it was time to go. She was frustrated. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but she’d hoped to come away with more answers. Instead, all they had were more questions. Mia though, had made her so proud. Such a brave little girl.
They walked holding Mia’s hands, one on either side. She’d count to three and lift her legs for them to swing her. Three steps, swing. Three steps, swing.
Bel’s left shoulder was on fire from the workout.
Liam pointed. “Look! He’s caught a wave.”
The surfer who’d caught Mia’s attention earlier was far out in the sea, riding the water as if it were a horse beneath him. His body swayed and compensated. He stayed upright nearly all the way to the shallows.
Mia watched him, eyes dancing.
Liam got a look on his face that Bel had come to know so well. “Wait here.”
He jogged towards the surfer as he came in from the waves. They spoke. Liam nodded, and then the surfer pointed southwest down the coast. Liam shook his hand and ran back.
“He lost a board out here once. It washed up in a cove five miles down. Maybe we should go see what we can find.”
She caught his meaning and her hunger dissolved.
Mia had fallen asleep in her car chair by the time Liam pulled to a stop.
“I’ll just stay here by her. Are you happy to go alone?” Bel wanted to kiss Mia for being asleep.
“I was going to suggest you two stay put anyway.” The look on Liam’s face stated clearly that he saw straight through her excuse. He took a deep breath and chose a narrow path between overgrown bushes.
Bel sat in silence that was not silent. A cacophony of bug noise surrounded her, undergirded by the bass tones of a bullfrog and Mia’s gentle snores. Nature’s Symphony in C Sharp. It made her smile. Tiny wildflowers dotted the grass around where Liam had parked the car. Her fingers itched for a pencil and paper.
Time alone meant time to think. Not too keen on her own company, she tentatively reached heavenwards.
God, I feel like I’m in the eye of a hurricane. It’s peaceful here, yet so much is unresolved. You have heard and answered. You were with Mia through it all. Through the worst of it, she was never alone. Here I am crossing a deep chasm, leaving the old behind. Walking to the new. You are the rock beneath each step that I take. If You don’t appear underneath each footstep, I will fall. Yet the question remains, why should You be there for me? Can I trust You to take me all the way across?
No one answered but the crickets and the bullfrogs.
Liam came back close to an hour later, drenched in sweat from the effort of breaking through the dense growth. He was pale, grim lines set into his forehead. Climbing into the driver’s seat, he shut the door gently so as not to wake Mia.
Bel saw a tremor pass through his hands on the steering wheel. Too scared to ask, she sat, heart beating in her throat.
“I think I found her. Further south to the beach at the end of the access path. I could”—he swallowed, grinding his teeth—”smell…that something wasn’t right. I forced my way through a good mile of overgrown trees and bushes. I came out on a rise overlooking the beach.” He shut his eyes, opened them again as if what he saw on the back of his eyelids was too much for him. “Brought in by the tide, snagged on low branches. I’m sure it’s her. Here, hang onto this. It might be useful.” The pendant he put in her hand hadn’t taken kindly to the salt water. She held it gingerly, knowing where it had come from.
He reached across Isobel to get his mobile from the glove compartment and dialled Detective Nass.
31
Isobel didn’t do surprises well. A week had passed since they’d found the body. Authorities hadn’t yet confirmed her identity, but from the state of the corpse they were able to approximate her date of demise—the day Isobel had found Mia. There was little doubt in Isobel’s mind that Mia truly was an orphan.
Liam had taken Isobel to the shops for some headache tabs. Throbbing pain had set in at the base of head and reverberated through the inside of her skull.
She massaged her temples with her forefingers as they pulled up outside home.
Mia chatted nonstop. About birds, the scraggy dog down the road—who was, according to Mia, lonely—Jesus, and why crabs pinch.
All Bel’s concerns about taking Mia back to the driftwood had proved baseless. The trip had in fact done the opposite. It seemed to have brought closure for Mia, and the little girl had grabbed life with both hands and was running at full, joyful speed.
Isobel rooted in her bag for fickle house keys.
Liam reached past her and unlocked with her spare which he’d attached to his key ring. She frowned at that, but her head was too sore to push the point.
A lounge full of craft club ladies was the last thing she expected. Squealing with excitement, Kez dragged her through to see their hard work. Pink It’s a Girl balloons bobbed across the ceiling, ribbons trailing down in curly waves. Mia ran in circles, jumping up to try catch them
. Lilac-iced cupcakes, brownies with almond flakes, and sausage rolls covered the coffee table. For Mia there was a special party pack, her name in sparkling glitter.
Bel’s eyes misted over, the pain in her head unbearable.
The ladies gathered around, taking turns to hug her.
“What is this?” She forced herself to smile.
Savannah rolled her eyes. “Your baby shower, silly!”
Jules was standing behind a chair they had draped with gold fabric. “Here’s your throne, queen mother. Come sit.”
Bel stepped carefully through a forest of presents gathered around the base of the chair. The ceiling closed in as she sat on soft cushions.
Mischa put a plate of nibbles in her hand. Everything they had done, all the celebratory pink, hammered the truth home.
Mia was not hers. Everything was not resolved. Her heart remained on the chopping block. “I’m sorry, ladies. I can’t do this.”
****
Isobel checked her watch, shifted to get comfortable on the metal chair in the warden’s office. He walked in carrying folders in his arms, looking harassed. Dumping them on his desk, he sighed. “What can I do for you, Miss Carter?”
“Is it possible for me to speak to Roric MacAllister? Aah, sorry. I mean Greg Smethers. I have questions that need answers.”
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible.”
Bel had known that this was not going to be easy. She had scraped together her courage to get this far and didn’t intend to be put off at the first no.
“You don’t understand. I need to speak with him. I have issues that need resolving, and he is the only one who has the answers.” Smethers knew Mia’s mother. Only he would know if she had family…if Mia had a family looking for her.
Isobel’s appeal did little more than crease his forehead. “It won’t be possible as he is no longer here. Released on bail this morning.”
The roof seemed to dip as she clung to her chair, fighting through the swimming blackness. She pushed off the chair to force herself onto her feet. Her gut had been right all along. There was no time to waste. She had to get back home, finish packing, and get out of Scottburgh. In the parking lot, she reached out, key in hand, to unlock the car. Anger bubbled to the surface, a pot left too long on the stove, or rather a volcano crumbling to the pressure of hot lava too long in its belly. Running. She’d spent her life running.
Finding Mia Page 18