We d barely been moving a few minutes before really unpleasant-looking creatures emerged from the alien jungle to attack us. Hopping insectoid things came first, with glowing green carapaces and dark faces with clacking, complex mouth parts. They sprang all around us, bounding and leaping with horrid speed high into the air before plunging down at us with clawed hands extended. Many-legged crawling things shot out of the shadows, curling and coiling and doing their best to snake around our legs and drag us down. They had great sucking mouths with needle teeth. And squirming blobby things just fell on us from the lower branches. One dropped right onto Molly s golden shoulder and tried to cling to her neck. It scrabbled and skittered there for a moment, unable to get a hold, and then Molly grabbed it in one hand and squeezed till the living pulp shot out between her golden fingers.
Patrick and Diana blew away the hoppy things with great speed and enthusiasm, and the air was soon full of flying innards. We all stamped on the long-legged things, and they made high wailing sounds as they burst messily underfoot. Anything that got too close I smashed out of the air with my ironwood staff, and whatever Oath Breaker touched exploded. It didn t take long for the alien wildlife to get the message, and we went the rest of the way observed but unmolested.
The Regent was still strolling along quite happily, hands in his pockets, taking a great interest in everything, and I couldn t help noticing that none of the alien life went anywhere near him. I pointed this out to Patrick, who just nodded solemnly.
Why? I said.
Because they wouldn t dare, said Diana.
It didn t take us long to reach the clearing and the Hall. From the look of it, the Hall s sudden arrival in this world had blasted a massive clearing out of what I was still thinking of as the jungle. Broken and blasted parts of alien growths were scattered all around us, littering the perimeter of the clearing. I stopped at the very edge and looked the situation over carefully. The Hall, Drood Hall, that I had once been so sure was destroyed and lost forever, that part of me had still been sure I would never see again, stood there before me, solid and upright, in the middle of a half-mile-wide clearing. A shimmering barrier hung in the air surrounding the Hall, roughly halfway across the clearing.
The Hall was under siege from all sides by huge and monstrous creatures. They came slamming through the jungle, smashing through the twisting growths as though they weren t even there. Overpoweringly huge, bigger than the Hall like hills with eyes, and mouths big enough to swallow an underground train. Packed with hundreds of jagged teeth, each of them bigger than a man. The ground shook with every step the monsters took, and there were so many of them, the earth never stopped shaking, like an earthquake. Like it was afraid. The monsters roared and howled and screeched, as though someone had given horror a voice. And an insane voice at that. Vast muscles rolled under shiny skins like great slow waves. Monsters, big as houses and bigger, whose shapes made no sense, whose limbs just sprouted from scaly sides and leathery sockets with too many joints. Claws that gouged the earth and left deep trenches. Eyes that blazed like the sun, and swirling sets of things that might be sensory organs, whose nature I couldn t even guess at.
I had to look up at them. They were so large they probably didn t even know I was there. But they knew the Hall was there, and they hated it. They pressed constantly forward, screaming and crying out and slamming against one another in their eagerness to get at the Hall. They tore and clawed at one another, but their vast misshapen heads never turned aside from the Hall. Only the shimmering barrier held them back. They would not cross it, would not touch it. The last barrier between them and Drood Hall.
Dozens of golden-armoured figures defended the Hall. In armour covered with vicious spikes, with hands extended into long blades and heavy axe heads, Droods guarded the perimeter, standing just outside the shimmering barrier, cutting at everything that came close. Something in the cool, measured way they fought, preserving their strength, suggested to me that they d been doing this for some time. Probably ever since the Hall first arrived here. Golden blades sheared through monstrous flesh and dark steaming blood flew in the air, but nothing they did seemed to make any real impression. The Droods were just so small in comparison to what they were fighting.
A huge distorted head slammed down and snapped up a Drood in its jaws. He was caught, half in and half out of that terrible mouth, the heavy teeth grinding fiercely but uselessly against his armour. The jaws opened and closed, trying to saw through the Drood, but all that happened was that several teeth shattered and broke off. The Drood used the extra space to get his feet under him, and then he walked backwards into the jaw and severed the muscles with his golden blade. The creature howled like a fire siren as its lower jaw just dropped down. The armoured man jumped. It took him some time to reach the ground, and when he hit, the sheer impact blasted out a crater and a cloud of dust. When the dust settled he was climbing out of the crater, entirely unharmed. I felt like applauding.
But the monsters were so big, so powerful, and there seemed no end to them. Armoured Droods cut at legs bigger than tree trunks and hardly made an impression.
More golden figures defended the Hall from inside, firing all kinds of weapons from every door and window. Everything from automatic rifles to energy weapons to steam-powered bazookas. Plus a whole bunch of cobbled-together-looking things, probably come straight from the Armoury for testing. The sheer firepower blasting from all sides of the Hall would have been enough to wipe out an army, but the colossal monsters of this world just soaked it up and kept pressing forward. They surrounded the Hall on all sides, looming over it, driven by sheer fury at this alien thing that had dared to enter their world. I wondered if they even knew it was the tiny golden figures that were their real enemy and not the Hall itself. Perhaps only the Hall was big enough to hold their attention.
Do you know what that shimmering screen is? said Molly beside me.
No, I said. Never seen it before. It s not part of the Hall s defences. Maybe some kind of improvised force shield?
I don t think so, said Molly. Looks wrong for that.
We ll find out when we get close enough, said the Regent.
Molly and I turned back to look at him. He seemed entirely serene.
You think we should just go running out there? said Molly. Into monster-snack territory?
I think the family needs all the help it can get, said the Regent. Don t you?
You re wearing Drood armour, Molly, said Patrick. You don t have to worry about monsters anymore.
We re not doing any good just standing here, I said quickly. So I say Go the reinforcements!
I took a deep breath, silently called myself all kinds of idiot and ran out into the clearing, heading straight for the shimmering barrier hanging in the air and the Hall beyond it. Molly was right there at my side in her rogue armour, and I just knew she was grinning broadly behind her featureless golden mask. She put on a sudden burst of speed, leaving the rest of us behind, striking out savagely at the monstrous creatures that blocked our way. Her golden fists gouged great chunks out of alien flesh, but the creatures didn t even seem to notice one more stinging irritant at their feet. Molly s actions worried me. They showed a viciousness I d never seen in her before. And why wasn t she using her magic instead of relying on the armour s brute strength? Was the rogue armour getting to her already, the way it had got to me? I fought to keep up with her, striking out with Oath Breaker. Wherever the ironwood staff struck alien flesh, great slabs of muscle exploded and more than one monster lurched suddenly to one side as a limb buckled unexpectedly. Patrick and Diana stuck close behind, maintaining a devastating rate of fire and keeping anything from getting too close to us. And the Regent just trotted along behind us, puffing gently, still smiling that interminable smile.
Molly laughed aloud, delighting in the strength and speed the rogue armour bestowed on her, smashing her way through everything that stood before her. I was disturbed at how quickly she d taken to the armour after all t
he comments she d made before about how she didn t approve of unnatural sources of power. But it is an undeniable truth that power tends to seduce, and appalling amounts of power Molly took the rogue armour away from me to save me from its influence. Was I going to have to take it back again for her sake?
We were halfway across the clearing now, almost at the shimmering screen. I could see the Hall ahead of us. Huge creatures the size of airplanes cruised by overhead, circling the great clearing, swooping down to attack the Hall on massive wings that briefly blocked out the sun. Droods went up to meet and duel with them, in flying saucers, autogyros, attack helicopters even sitting astride winged unicorns. They darted back and forth, easily evading the languorous movements of the larger creatures, plunging in to attack again and again and blasting the winged creatures with all kinds of weapons. Like golden wasps attacking winged whales.
Huge wormlike things burst up out of the ground inside the shimmering barrier, exploding up and up into the air, sending dark earth flying in all directions. Slimy ringed segments the size of hot-air balloons and with leprous grey flesh rose over the Hall, carrying blunt heads with great circular mouths full of rows of teeth that rotated like meat grinders. The Droods inside the Hall targeted the massive worms with every weapon they had and blew them apart one segment at a time. The slimy flesh soaked up incredible amounts of punishment before the worms collapsed and fell, slamming back to earth inside and outside the barrier. The creatures still outside tore the wounded worms apart and ate them up, all in a few moments.
And inevitably there came a time when the monsters were packed so tight together before the shimmering barrier that Molly and I were forced to a halt. No matter what we did with armoured strength or with Oath Breaker, we just couldn t make any progress. They were simply too big and we were too small. Of course, size didn t mean anything where Oath Breaker was concerned; if I d unleashed its true power, even for a moment, I could have blown whole monsters apart right down to the molecular level. But then, neither I nor any of my party would have survived such an explosion. Using the ironwood staff as a club was a bit like hitting someone over the head with a nuclear device, but it was still safer than the alternative.
Patrick and Diana kept up a steady stream of fire, while Molly and I looked around for another way forward. They blasted anything that got too close, and then they stopped briefly to confer before concentrating their firepower on a massive leg that blocked our way. The vicious energies actually opened up a tunnel through the flesh of the leg, and Molly immediately ran forward into it. So of course I had no choice but to go after her, with the others bringing up the rear. Patrick and Diana kept firing their guns, blasting out more elbow room from the meat walls and ceiling of the tunnel, expanding it as we went.
I couldn t help noticing how well they worked together, as though they d been doing it for a long time. And they certainly seemed a lot more familiar with action in the field than I would have expected, even from the Regent s favourite Special Agents. They were excellent marksmen, too. I never saw them hit anything they didn t mean to. So, professional field agents with a long working relationship who didn t seem fazed by anything they encountered Who were Patrick and Diana, really? And why was I so sure I knew them from somewhere?
We burst out the other end of the meat tunnel to find the shimmering barrier right ahead of us. I yelled for Molly to stop so the others could catch up, and she did, reluctantly. I looked back in time to see Patrick and Diana run out of the dripping tunnel mouth and immediately look around for new things to shoot at. The Regent strolled out after them, and a monstrous foot came slamming down from above and crushed him into the ground. We all cried out in shock and horror, but there was nothing any of us could do. It had already happened; it was over. And then the massive foot lifted up and moved on, and there, in a deep depression in the ground, was the Regent. Sitting up and brushing fussily at his clothes, entirely unhurt. Which was, of course, when I remembered.
Kayleigh s Eye! I said. When that tea lady tried to kill you, the bullets couldn t hurt you because you were wearing Kayleigh s Eye! No wonder you weren t bothered by taking a walk in monster country!
Even as I was saying that, a winged thing dropped down from above, heading straight for the Regent. It was much more our size, our scale, barely twenty to thirty feet in wingspan. The Regent looked up at it, smiling, and suddenly there was a small silver gun in his hand. He aimed carefully and pulled the trigger, and the winged creature just blew apart into hundreds of meaty chunks. The Regent smiled, blew imaginary smoke from the end of the short barrel, and made the gun disappear with a quick flexing of his fingers.
I didn t just bring the Eye, he said easily.
Told you, said Patrick. More tricks up his sleeve than a barrel of conjurers.
I turned away, not trusting myself to speak, and tested the shimmering barrier with one hand. Nothing bad happened, so I just plunged right through it. And the moment I was on the other side, the alien world s heavier gravity fell away and I could breathe again without struggling. The barrier wasn t a force shield; it just marked the spot where alien conditions ended. The Hall was still surrounded by an area of Earth-normal conditions that it had brought with it. The relief was so great I just stood there for a long moment, breathing deeply, a big stupid grin on my face. And then the others came through to join me, so I put on my professional face again and led them towards Drood Hall.
The golden figures at the perimeter, inside and outside the screen, just nodded briefly to us as we passed, concentrating on keeping back the monsters. More armoured figures ran back and forth from the Hall to the barrier, presumably with important messages or more ammunition. They were too busy even to acknowledge us. As we approached the front doors, a single figure appeared, carrying the single biggest and most impressive-looking gun I d ever seen. I was surprised he could even hold the thing, let alone aim it. It was, of course, the Sarjeant-at-Arms. He aimed the gun right at us, and then he saw me, and I swear his jaw actually dropped. I think the whole journey was worth it just to see that. His mouth snapped shut again almost immediately, and he stepped outside and urged us in. He tracked the gun back and forth, making sure nothing had come through the barrier after us, waited till we were all safely inside, and then hurried in after us and slammed the front doors shut.
It was wonderfully cool and calm and quiet in the hallway.
The Sarjeant-at-Arms put down his huge gun, leaning it carefully against the closed front doors. He nodded briefly to me.
Good to see you, Eddie. What took you so long?
I stepped forward and hugged him tightly. It was a bit like trying to hug a brick wall, but I gave it my best shot. Then I stepped back and grinned at him.
Good to see you too, Cedric. You have no idea how good.
Please, Edwin, said the Sarjeant. Not in front of strangers. Who are these people you ve brought with you?
Molly armoured down, and the Sarjeant blinked several times as the golden mask disappeared to reveal her features. But that was nothing compared to the look of actual shock that took over his face when he looked at the Regent, Diana and Patrick. He stepped forward involuntarily, his gaze fixed on the Regent of Shadows.
Dear God, he said. It s you!
Quite, Cedric, said the Regent. Demons in Hell are probably snowboarding even as we speak. But, yes, it s me. I m back. Where is the rest of the Council?
Here, said a familiar voice. All that s left of us.
I looked around, and hurrying down the hallway towards us were William the Librarian and the telepath Ammonia Vom Acht. The Librarian looked his usual tall and world-buffeted self, but he was wearing clothes that actually seemed like he d put them on himself for a change, and with his great head of grey hair and full grey beard, he looked more like an Old Testament prophet than usual. His eyes seemed sharper and clearer than they had in a long time. Ammonia Vom Acht stuck close beside him, giving every appearance that she d been doing that for some time. Medium height, sturdy,
with a broad mannish face and a shock of unruly auburn hair, Ammonia had a face so full of character there was no room left in it for anything like good looks. She was wearing her usual battered tweed suit and stout brogues with trailing laces. Her jaw protruded forward with bulldog stubbornness. I noted, with quiet shock, that William and Ammonia were holding hands.
I pointed at them. All right, I said, when did that happen?
But before William could answer, I stepped forward and hugged him hard. The Sarjeant sniffed loudly behind me.
He keeps doing that. I don t know why.
I let go of William, stepped back and grinned at him. You re looking a lot more yourself, William.
Ammonia s been helping me, said William.
I always knew what I really needed was the love of a good woman.
But we couldn t find one, said Ammonia,
So he has to settle for me.
They smiled at each other fondly. The Sarjeant-at-Arms gave me a What can you do? look but said nothing.
The three of us are all that s left to form a Council, said William. And we ve been very busy since we arrived here.
Where s Uncle Jack? I said. Has something happened to Uncle Jack?
The Armourer is down with Alpha Red Alpha, said Ammonia. Hitting it with the science stick, trying to persuade it to work again and get us the hell out of wherever it is we are.
And then we all cried out and jumped back as a vicious snapping creature materialised abruptly in the hallway. Covered in dark green scales, long and Reptiloid with a great wedge head, lots of fangs and claws and a vicious barbed tail that snapped back and forth behind it. Big enough that it filled the hallway from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling, it was actually trapped for a moment, unable to manoeuvre. Ammonia pointed a single finger at the beast and scowled really hard, and all the beast s eyes rolled up in its head. It collapsed, slamming its great length on the floor.
Live and let Drood sh-6 Page 36