“During the six months I was on the job, we averaged two hostage situations a week. I went on over forty calls. My save rate was almost perfect. I was good at it, but I realized that just because I was good at what I did, it didn’t stop the bad guys. I couldn’t stay on the force knowing the difference I made didn’t change the bigger picture, so I left and went into communications. Public relations. Easy stuff. The bad guys wore suits and smiles, only now there wasn’t anyone to intervene or stop them. I kept my head down for years, just doing the job.”
“You regret not being a cop anymore?”
“No, but I do regret going in the opposite direction. I went from a place where I could make change to being as powerless as the victims.” Melody shivered. There were still demons she wasn’t sharing.
“Don’t go too far in the other direction?”
“Something like that.” Melody glanced at Erin and smiled, this time with feeling. “Think about what you want to do. Make a plan. You don’t seem like the kind of woman who wouldn’t, just...”
Erin knew Melody was talking about her career and the future of her professional path, and yet that wasn’t where her head went.
Riley’s goofy, stupid face popped to mind.
She’d never been good at the temporary stuff. The only reason it worked was because the men in her life came and went faster than she could fall for them. She’d already spent too much time with Riley. She’d shared too much of herself. Which was why his rejection hurt. It was a defense mechanism she’d used. He wasn’t really letting her in or being honest. It was all a lie.
“Grant’s going to start knocking on that door any minute.” Melody straightened. “Can I do anything else for you?”
“No.” Erin turned and picked up the brush. She tackled her tangles, which would have to be enough for now.
“Is—it’s none of my business—you and Riley...?”
“It’s nothing.” Erin tipped her chin up. The more she said that, the more it would become true.
“Oh.” Melody glanced away.
“If you like him—”
“What? No.” Her eyes went wide, mouth open in horror.
Erin sputtered a laugh.
“No, that’s not...” Melody held up her hands, mouth working without words.
“It’s okay. I just assumed.” Erin shrugged.
“Sorry. Riley is nice. He’s a little hard on the nerves, kind of like a kid brother, but that is not—no. Not for me.” Melody shook her head.
Erin finished taming her hair and turned her attention to the other contents of her toiletry bag.
“What I meant was—you and Riley seemed to have hit it off, and now I can’t help but notice things seem strained.”
“They are.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.”
“I’m not going to leave a bad review or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“What?”
“I mean, you probably know we slept together. I’m not going to trash talk your company because I decided to mess around.”
“Oh. Well, thank. For the record, I don’t ask, and the team doesn’t talk about those...interactions.” Melody clasped her hands in front of her. “It’s just...Riley. He’s always friendly, but he’s been different. I’ve never seen him personally invested in an asset like this before. I feel a little kinship with him. Riley was the first to really treat me like I belong.”
“The big sister talk then.” Erin smiled. She’d given a number of those chats to her sister’s boyfriends, backed up by a few of her army buddies, over the years.
“What you two do is your business.”
“This really isn’t like me.” Erin zipped up her toiletry bag and braced her hands on the vanity. “I never fucked around when I was enlisted, I just...”
“It’s different when you’re part of it. Two weeks after I left the force, I started dating cops. Dating might be a little too generous a word.” Melody’s cheeks tinged pink, and she glanced away.
Erin chuckled despite her heart beating painfully against her already abused ribs. She didn’t know what came next, and that was okay. She had time to figure it out and nurse her bruised heart.
13.
SUNDAY. ERBIL INTERNATIONAL Airport, Kurdistan.
Riley’s neck and shoulders were tighter than a hidebound drum. He dreaded the upcoming flight, and not just because he’d been seated next to Erin for over thirty hours in the air. He kept telling himself that what mattered was that they were all going back in one piece.
Melody’s heels heralded the woman.
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. She’d been telegraphing not so subtle you’re in the doghouse vibes at him since they’d left the police station. He knew what side she was on in all this.
“What is your problem?” Melody nudged his boot. “I know you’re not asleep.”
“Can’t a guy dream?” He cracked one eye open and watched Melody take the seat next to him, Erin’s computer bag in her lap.
“What did you say to Erin?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. When you got to the house yesterday you were inseparable, now you can’t even look at each other.”
“I thought you’d be happy I was doing my job and keeping my distance.”
“Why the change?”
Riley shrugged.
Melody leveled that skin-peeling stare of hers at him. Usually she reserved that look for Vaughn and Grant. It was the first time Riley had felt the power of it, and he fought the urge to slide further down in his seat.
“Erin almost died because I was distracted.” He stared out through the glass windows at the landscape beyond the tarmac.
“But she didn’t. You’re both alive.”
“Do you realize the only thing that stopped the first bullet was a couple photo albums?” When he’d seen those mangled books, he’d almost been sick.
“You were lucky. You were lucky when you decided to leave the safe house. You were lucky today.”
“I shouldn’t need luck. I should have been focused. I should have done my job better. If I had, we might not have had such a close call.”
“Hope I’m not interrupting.” Nolan sank into the chair across from Melody, a coffee in one hand, and stretched his legs out.
“Nope. We were done.” Riley closed his eyes.
“Is she giving you hell about Erin?” Nolan asked.
Riley pried one eye open and frowned at the blond man across from him. Melody didn’t respond. Nolan just sipped his coffee.
“Vaughn was just talking to me.” Nolan nodded down the terminal. “If you’re not interested in her anymore—”
Riley was on his feet across the aisle, his vision hazing red, before Nolan could finish the sentence. The other man held up his hands and howled with laughter.
“Face it dude, you like her and your fucked-up, scrambled egg can’t handle it.” Nolan sipped his coffee that stupid grin teasing him.
“What’s so funny?” Erin’s voice sent a lick of awareness down Riley’s spine. He turned to stare at her standing next to Melody with a plastic bag in hand.
“Just giving Riley hell.” Nolan wiggled his eyebrows at Erin.
“Feel free to share the joke.” Erin sank into Riley’s recently vacated seat next to Melody.
“Nolan, will you help me pick up our dinner order?” Melody checked her watch. “We should start boarding in a few moments.”
“Sure thing.” Nolan tipped his cup up and drained the coffee.
“I am going to leave this here with you.” Melody handed Riley the laptop case.
“I can carry it,” Erin groused.
“Not without it hurting.” Riley accepted the case and sat on the other side of Erin.
Melody and Nolan strolled across to the pizza joint, leaving him alone with Erin.
Maybe Melody had a point, but his time with Erin was limited. Why bother? What was the point?
“I got some
painkillers, if you need something for your neck.” Erin rattled a bottle at him.
A lump lodged in Riley’s throat. God damn, she was an angel and he a rotten bastard. She didn’t deserve the way he’d treated her earlier.
“Where’d the others go?” Erin glanced up and down the terminal. She seemed to have given up being angry at him. Because he didn’t matter? Because he wasn’t worth her time?
“Grant, Brenden, and Vaughn are taking a walk before we board.” He glanced at the pizza joint to check Melody and Nolan’s progress. His neck cramped in protest of the movement and he hissed.
“Careful. I got one of those refillable ice packs, too. I figured we could trade off using it.”
He didn’t deserve her kindness. He didn’t deserve anything.
“Is Grant still not speaking to you?”
“Not really.”
There was something about the way she looked at him that made him want more. To change. That little glance she tossed his way out of the corner of her eye. He didn’t know what it meant, but he wanted to find out. He wanted the chance. But at the cost of risking her life? He couldn’t do that.
She shoved the purchases into the laptop bag then stretched out her legs and leaned back, staring out the windows at the landscape surrounding the airport.
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” Riley hated how cheap those words sounded. He was sorry he’d failed her. That he was a fuck up. That he should have done more. That his words had hurt her.
“Which time? The part where I’m a distraction? Just a piece of ass?”
“I never said that.”
“No, but you might as well have.” Now her tone went frosty.
“I didn’t... That’s not what I meant.” He leaned forward and bounced his knee, fighting the urge to pace.
“Then what did you mean? I’ve got time to kill. Tell me.”
“I told you. I got distracted, and you nearly died.”
“Your friend? The one you enlisted with. How’d he die?” Erin’s gaze bored into his soul.
A cold sweat broke out along Riley’s hairline.
Fuck.
He swallowed and turned his gaze to the windows.
“He just died,” Riley muttered.
“You don’t go home, because when you do, you feel guilty you’re the one who survived. I get that. I live that. Why do you think I don’t want to live in Miami? I know too many people who never came home. People I got to be friends with.”
Riley squeezed his eyes shut.
He tried to not think about Jimmy. The guys had called him JimBo. He made Riley’s country roots seem positively contemporary. JimBo’s family were good people, but poorer than dirt. His stories about hunting for dinner and scrounging as kids had earned a lot of laughs. Riley’s family had scraped by, but not as bad as JimBo’s. A lot of their holidays included inviting JimBo’s family over. Sharing what little they had. Even now, JimBo’s younger brothers did seasonal work for Riley’s family.
“What was his name?” Erin sat leaned forward, studying the side of his face.
“Jimmy, but the idiots called him JimBo. He talked slow. Kind of funny, but he could outshoot us all. Fuck.” Riley shook his head. All those days squirrel hunting had paid off.
Erin reached over and took his hand as though she knew the next part was bad.
“We got into a bad situation. Jimmy and I were bringing up the rear, but I was too distracted with what was going on ahead of us. He took one shot. Killed him instantly.” All because Riley couldn’t do what he was supposed to.
“It—”
“Please don’t say it wasn’t my fucking fault, or it’s war, or any of those other bullshit lines.” He turned his head to stare at Erin. “I fucked up. And I fucked up again today.”
“I forgive you. For the fuck up. Jury is still out on if I’ll forgive you for being an ass.”
Riley held onto her hand. He couldn’t make himself let go.
“I still haven’t called my parents,” Erin said.
“You want to do that now, or wait?”
“I should do it, shouldn’t I? Tell them I’m coming home.”
“Now or in Frankfurt. I think Grant is going to get us rooms there for a few hours.”
“That’ll be nice.” She glanced at him. “Do you call your family while you’re working?”
“Not usually, no. I’ve worked very hard to train my mother into thinking I’m unreachable when I’m working.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, with your mom you kind of have to, don’t you?” Erin smiled and bumped her shoulder to his.
“I really am sorry. For all of it.” Riley turned his head despite the way his neck protested.
“That’s good to know.” She really wasn’t letting him off the hook easy.
“Are you... You okay?”
“Just doing some thinking.” She let go of his hand and eased back in her eat. “It seems like the more I figure out, the more I realize how little I knew about everything else, you know?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Riley grimaced and rubbed at his shoulder.
“On one hand, I understand why NexGen and the government would want to keep the last week quiet. It’s bad for tourism. It would give insurgents the wrong idea. It could destabilize the whole region, and that would risk so many lives. On the other, how can they just sweep this whole thing under the carpet like it didn’t happen?” She turned, and he felt her gaze on the side of his face. “You’re doing your job, and I know this isn’t your problem. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Never be sorry for caring.” He reached over and took her hands in his, giving them a squeeze. He didn’t have an answer for the rest of it, but he could listen. Until she was home safe, he was on her team.
From what he’d seen, Erbil was a thriving city. Kurdistan was a beautiful country trying to repair the damage done by years of war. There could be no easy solutions, and chances were whatever healed those wounds wouldn’t come from people like them.
“What are you doing after this job? Do you have somewhere your team has to be?” Erin searched his face, looking for something.
“We’re scheduled for a few days off, at least.” He hadn’t made plans since they so often got canceled in favor of whatever emergency they had crop up.
“What do you do on your days off?”
Riley squinted at the ceiling. It was a simple question and yet his palms grew sweaty trying to think of an answer that didn’t sound lame. The older he got, the less interesting shit he did. “Laundry?”
“That’s exciting.” She chuckled.
“Deadly is more like it. Shit.” At this rate he was going to have about a month’s worth of clothes to work through. That wasn’t something he wanted to be reminded of right now.
“This time next week, I’ll probably be in Miami.” She turned her hand in his until she was holding onto him.
There was a change in the atmosphere as though they were on the brink of a storm. Riley’s mouth went dry, and he stopped breathing.
“Ever been to Miami?” she asked.
Sweat broke out under his arms and suddenly it was too warm in the terminal. Was she asking him to come visit her? Was this a booty call? Or did she want more? Riley couldn’t offer her what she needed. He was never around enough, he’d disappoint her, at some point he’d cause her more grief than he was worth. But that was if she wanted more than he’d already offered. It wasn’t like either of them had made a mention of something other than fun.
“Couple hours in the airport count?” he asked to say something. She’d told him plainly that she didn’t want a relationship, which meant Riley was getting ahead of himself.
“No.” Erin snorted.
“Never had the pleasure then,” Riley replied. Erin had been through hell. In her shoes, he might want a friend around while he eased back into real life. That was something he could do. She wasn’t asking him for the moon, just some time.
“You should. The humidity might drown you
.” She turned her head and studied Riley’s face.
“I’d have to pick your brain for good places to go.” He could get behind a whole weekend with Erin. Getting lost in Miami, hanging out at the beach. It wasn’t a bad way to spend a few days.
“I know all the best ones.” One side of her mouth hitched up and a mischievous light twinkled behind her eyes.
Riley glanced over Erin’s shoulder. Melody pinned him with a death glare and jerked her head toward the gate. He was going to get it from her once they were done with this, he just knew it.
“Here comes dinner, and it looks like we’re going to board soon.” He nodded behind her.
Erin turned and watched the others come their way. She squeezed his hand, then let go.
Riley hoped they were on the same page. He’d hate to disappoint her. He always left. It wasn’t going to change.
“I guess we should get ready for a long sit,” Erin said.
“It’s just three hours.” Riley stood and looped the laptop bag over his shoulder. He then offered her a hand up.
Erin took his hand, and he hauled her to her feet. She swayed, clutching onto him tightly. Despite the last two nights of rest she’d had, Erin was still running on fumes. It was going to catch up to her sooner rather than later.
“Come on, we’ll talk about Miami later.”
SUNDAY. HILTON GARDEN Inn, Frankfurt, Germany.
Erin’s whole body hurt. Each step jarred her poor muscles and she couldn’t take a breath without wincing in pain. And that was from three hours on a plane. What the hell was she going to do in eight hours when they got on their trans-Atlantic flight? Was there some way she could buy some muscle relaxers? Was booze the answer to her problems?
She’d worry about that later. Right now, it was one foot in front of the other. Soon she’d have somewhere to hide.
Erin squinted at Melody chatting with the concierge. What Erin would give for some sunglasses right about now. The posh, glistening lobby of the airport hotel was so bright it hurt. She needed water, for sure. Not drinking anything while in the air was a mistake she was paying for now.
Falling asleep on the plane was a terrible idea. Those seats were not made for comfort, much less sleeping. She didn’t know how Riley or the other guys did it with their sizes.
Dangerously Taken (Aegis Group Lepta Team, #1) Page 15