My fingers curl under her shirt and Audra tenses. “I'm going to take this off,” I tell her in a low voice.
“Neil, no.”
“You're beautiful and you know it because you said our baby would be beautiful too. I want to show you that you're beautiful like this too. Please?”
She stares at me through the mirror for a moment before nodding. I take her shirt off and throw it behind me without looking. Audra giggles, but sucks in a sharp breath when I rest my hands on her bare hips.
“Pants too,” I urge.
Her eyes widen. “Neil, definitely not.” She shakes her head. “I haven't shaved lately. Too much work, so it's not happening.”
“If it makes you feel better, I won't even touch your legs.”
Audra stares at me through the mirror before she unhappily removes her pants. She's tense, standing in front of me, our eyes still on the mirror. Audra looks tempting and lovely. Her bra is plain nude, but her underwear is a pair of black boy shorts. I kind of like them. I want to loosen her up a bit, so I grin. My hands slide up, turning into fists, and my knuckles brush the sides of her breasts.
“These,” I point at her breasts from the side, “are knockouts, huge and ridiculous.” They are larger than when I originally met her, and they are a great starting point to make her laugh. Audra gives me a small laugh and rolls her eyes. “I can guarantee you that these are grabbing a guy's attention way before this does.” I move my hands to her stomach.
I reach for the lipstick, uncap it, and move to the mirror. “Do you mind?” Once she shakes her head, I step out of the way and draw over where her breasts are in the mirror. Two circles side by side, and then I step in front of it, so she can't see it. Just above them, I write in all caps, 'KNOCKOUTS!' Then I write 'huge' in the left and 'ridiculous' in the right. When I move back to Audra, she laughs.
With my hands on her hips again, I let her look in the mirror for a moment before I make my next move. Slowly, I slide my hands down her sides as I lower my body. My hands are close enough that if I'm not careful, I'll touch her legs. I hover my hands over her thighs. First, down the back of them, then the sides, the front, and the sides again. I never touch them, and my eyes remain on hers the entire time.
“These legs are still fantastic. They lead the eyes all the way down,” my hands move to her calfs and back up, “and then up again.”
“They are thunder thighs,” she says quietly as if she doesn't want to mess up what I'm doing, but couldn't resist saying so. Her thighs aren't sleek, slender, or small. There's meat on those bones, and there's enough to make a man want to spread his fingers out, grab onto them, and wrap them babies around his waist. These legs, completely normal and sexy, add to her curves.
“And they work wonders because of it. Trust me.”
I move to the mirror and outline her legs. Just like last time, I move in front so she can't see. I decide she needs one more funny truth before we get serious. So this time, I write 'Thunder thighs make Neil go crazy'. When I step back, Audra smiles. I step behind her again and recount what we have so far.
“Okay, so we have 'huge and ridiculous knockouts' and those gorgeous 'thunder thighs' of yours.”
Audra almost sounds shy when she asks, “What's next?”
With my hands now on her arms, I glide them up to her shoulders. My fingers grab a handful of her hair. “Love your hair.” I place my hands on her neck with my fingers stretched out so I'm not holding her neck. I rub my thumbs up and down the back of her neck. “And your neck.” I drag a finger from her chin, up her jaw, to her ear. I trail her nose, lips, and eyebrows. “And your face. Everything about it is kind, sweet, a bit bad ass. It's beautiful.”
I outline her face and write in a column 'kind, sweet, bad ass, beautiful face'. Behind her again, I saved the best for last. With open palms, I rub her belly and turn my head towards her ear.
“My favorite,” I whisper. “This shows what your body is capable of. It's a reminder that our daughter is in there, being protected by her mom while she grows until she's ready to meet us. This is a pretty, round stomach that is carrying a life. What's more beautiful than that?”
She gulps as I leave her to go outline her stomach in the mirror. All I write inside it is 'our daughter'. When I turn around to face her, she has tears in her eyes. Thankfully, they don't fall over.
“Thank you,” she says softly. “You put it all into perspective and made me appreciate the changes.” Audra turns and starts to redress.
“We didn't even talk about your ass,” I comment, dragging my eyes down her backside. Audra starts laughing and it's such a good sound to hear. I hope my daughter has that laugh. “So?”
“So what?” she asks, slipping her shirt back on to be fully dressed again as she faces me.
“Are you going to go on a date with me? Do you want to, I mean?” The urge to pace creeps into my system, but I resist.
“Yes, I do. Where are you going to take me?”
I smile. “I'll think of something.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You asked me out without having an actual date in mind?”
“Yep.”
And then, my gut tightens with nerves. My what if's have changed. I no longer think that my baby girl will feel like a simple obligation. She's my daughter and I'm her father. I'm excited to meet her. What if something happens and I don't meet her? What if I fall in love with Audra and I mess up? What if I do something so stupid, Audra tries to keep baby girl away from me? I don't think she would, but more bad things seem to happen when you're in love. Anything is possible.
That's the scariest thing of all.
I'm just getting ahead of myself because of past experiences.
“Neil?”
I blink. Audra's standing in front of me now.
“Are you okay?” she asks, placing a hand on my arm.
“Yeah,” I answer. She doesn't look like she believes me. “Why don't we go lay down before I have to go?” I want to talk to baby girl, so I'm really hoping she'll fall asleep.
“Okay, sure.” We go into the living room, and I lay down first, pressed against the back of the couch. Audra looks unsure for a moment before she comes to lay in front of me. I rest my hand on her side before sliding it forward to the front of her stomach. “Neil?”
“Yeah, Audra?”
“I don't know what you were thinking a minute ago, but by the look on your face, it wasn't good and it's worrying me. Please don't start freaking out or being distant or anything. I mean, don't change, okay? I need you to stay who you have been with me lately. I don't want you to go anywhere.” She puts her hand over mine, interlocking our fingers.
I swallow hard. “I'm not going to leave, Audra. Promise.”
Her voice is low, but I definitely hear her. “Good because I like having you here.”
No words come for a response. It only takes about five minutes before she's sound asleep. Unfortunately, not many words appear for baby girl either. I gently rub her belly as I utter into Audra's shoulder, “I love you, baby girl. That's all I got tonight.”
I'VE BEEN OBSESSING over this date, over what to do, for what feels like days. And my best idea feels like it might be a bust. Maybe because it's such an ordinary date and I'm so nervous, but I think it'll go fine. I mean, it's Maddie. Unless she is expecting so much more from me, which she totally deserves, then we'll be fine. I'm just overthinking everything. Maddie is already outside her dorm when I pull into the parking lot.
Damn.
She's dressed in charcoal skinny jeans and a mint-colored top. A big smile is already on her face as she makes her way over to where I am. I get out and meet her at the front of my car.
“Hey, Winston.”
“Hey, all ready?” I lean down to kiss her forehead.
“No, I'm standing out here because I need to run back inside and fix my makeup real quick.” She slips her hand into mine as I laugh and lead her to the other side, opening the door for her.
When I get in, I
say, “You look great.” My hand is on the gearshift between us, about to slide it into reverse, but Maddie places her hand over mine. I look over at her. She leans towards me and points to her lips. Grinning, I close the space between us and kiss her softly. A gentle meeting of our lips, a simple hello.
“Where are we going?” she asks, sitting back properly in her seat as I finally back out.
“Movies.” I glance at her to see if there's any disappointment, but she's still smiling. See? No need to worry. This is Maddie. We're friends at our core, and Maddie will speak up if something isn't working well. Only difference is that this time, I'm treating her like my future Queen instead of like a back alley hooker I don't want anyone to know I'm seeing. That was a bad analogy because Maddie was far from hooker, but I think it somewhat works.
“Did you already pick out what we're watching?”
I nod. “That new comedy with Adam Sandler.”
“Ooh, I've been wanting to see that.”
Point for Winston. “Did you have a good day?”
A quick glance shows an eye roll. “No. Let's not talk about that, though.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Roommate troubles, but it doesn't matter. How was your day?”
I look to see if I should question her further, but she seems fine. “It was good.”
She nods. I can tell she is smiling, even though my eyes are on the road. “I see you left your beanie at home. I can't say that it didn't cross my mind that you would be wearing it tonight.”
Laughing, I say, “What is up with you and what I wear on my head? You're the only one who ever says anything about it.”
“I don't know. I guess I thought you would grow out of it or something. I like it, just teasing you.”
Absentmindedly, I run my fingers through my hair. After parking the car, I get out and open the door for her. She wraps an arm around my waist, so I do the same, finally sticking my hand into her back pocket. We don't say much as I buy our tickets and we head inside. Maddie loves popcorn, so I get us a tub. We find seats at the very top and munch on popcorn through the previews.
“We should come see that once it releases,” Maddie leans over and whispers.
The lights dim and everyone falls silent as it starts. It seems surreal that I'm here with her. I'm probably about to jinx myself, but I feel like a bomb is going to drop on us too soon. Like things won't stay good for long. An impending doom, if you will. Maddie glances at me with a smile. She reaches for a popcorn and holds it up to my mouth. Once I part my lips, she pops it in there, grinning like she accomplished a hard task. Her focus shifts to the movie, so I do the same.
Once it ends, we leave the theater, holding hands.
“I need something sweet after that popcorn,” Maddie says.
“Then you're going to want something salty after that,” I laugh, knowing good and well that's how she is.
She smiles. “Yeah, but after that, I'll be fine.”
“Okay. There's a frozen yogurt place not too far from here. We'll go there and then go through the drive-thru for some fries.”
Her smile widens as I open the door for her. “You know me so well.”
I just have a good memory. After we get our frozen yogurt, topped with our favorite toppings, we sit down at a tall table inside. “I can't believe you want something cold when it's freezing outside.”
Maddie shrugs. “I think this winter is going to be brutal. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and they're calling for snow this weekend. Are you going home to see your parents?”
Going home to see my parents would usually mean seeing Dave. Their parents moved last year, so I won't have to worry about that. Maddie would kill me if she knew I was thinking this. Clearing my throat, I nod. “It'll be good to see them, but will probably be the same as every year.” Thanksgivings are pretty normal with my family. There won't be any drama to talk about. “I bet you're ready to go home.”
She gives me a sly grin. “Yeah, I am. You know, I'm feeling a little homesick now that you mention it. Don't you want me to stay with you tonight? To make me feel better, of course.”
I laugh. “Have you been faking it?”
“No, I haven't. It's weird living with someone, especially when you don't get along with them. It makes me want my own room back. Tonight, I'm lying, but not the other times.”
My gaze rests on the spoon sliding out of her mouth before rising to meet her eyes. “You can stay with me tonight if you want.”
She frowns. “If I want? Gee, thanks for making me feel welcomed.”
Rolling my eyes, I lean over to whisper in her ear. “Stay with me. We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
When I pull away, she's grinning. “That's more like it.”
I'M REALLY SURPRISED we're in my room right now. Maddie is here with Winston. They just got back from their first date, and Bo and Neil both aren't here. I thought that since Maddie is here, Lucy would want to hang out with them, but she waved to them and dragged me to my room.
“Want me all to yourself?” I grin.
She rolls her eyes as she climbs into my bed, a sight that I'm loving a bit more every time I see her do it. “You aren't going to let what I said earlier go, are you?”
“No,” I answer, getting in next to her. Faintly, I think of us as an elderly couple and start laughing. We're seriously climbing in bed, and it's not even midnight yet. Lucy gives me a curious look, but I shake my head, sobering up. Laying on my side with my head propped in my hand, Lucy doesn't bother waiting until she's nestled against me. There's no way I can stop myself from asking, “Are we just friends, Lucy?” That has been bugging the hell out of me since she said it.
Lucy tilts her head back to look at me. She blinks, but doesn't hide her face in my chest again. “Honestly, I don't really know what we are. We're us.” She shrugs her shoulder like that is an acceptable, satisfying answer. It is, but it isn't.
I cup her cheek, noting her small smile, and stare into those blue circular beauties that are to die for. My gaze drops to her lips, so close to my thumb. This moment feels like it's now or never. The only choice is now. My thumb lightly moves over her bottom lip twice when they move.
“Are you waiting for permission?” Lucy says quietly with a teasing tone as she tries not to smile.
“Do I need it?”
She shakes her head. I've been wanting to kiss her for so long, I don't waste a second before I press my lips to her mouth. My tongue runs lightly over her lower lip as she parts them, and I move it inside her mouth. Mmm. Just like I imagined. Sweet, delicate, and addicting. Rolling to lay on top of her, Lucy's hands run over my short hair before resting at the based of my neck. I kiss her as if my life depends on it.
My hands travel down her sides, wanting desperately to explore further. I kiss the corner of her mouth and then kiss my way along her jaw, down her neck, and across her collarbone. My lips move along the edge of her shirt to kiss the bit of cleavage showing. When I flick my tongue over the swell, she inhales sharply.
I want to go to so many more places, but I curl my fingers around her hips and come back up to that pretty mouth of hers. Right now, Lucy, her lips, her tongue, and her body are like water. I've been dying of thirst for weeks, months, years, a lifetime it seems. She moves one of her legs, causing it to come between mine as she kisses me fiercely, consuming me.
When she pulls away, I feel like I took a small nibble on a decadent dessert, and I want more. Her chest is pressed into mine while we breathe heavily. I kiss her one more time to leave her even more breathless as she exhales my name. I close my eyes and rest my forehead against hers, waiting to see what will follow.
“We need to stop for a second.”
Oh. Have I misunderstood something?
Lucy waits until I open my eyes to add, “You overwhelm me. I needed a breather. I feel like I always need a breather around you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask with confusion, going back to lay on my side.
She turns towards me, her cheeks flush. “It's not like I haven't had crushes or boyfriends or a makeout session with a boy before. It's not like I haven't ever flirted before or anything like that. But that first time I met you, it was as if I was struck dumb and was completely innocent or something. That's why I was so nervous. Because you're the only person who has ever overwhelmed me.”
“How?”
“I don't know. Just you. It's crazy.” Lucy reaches out to rub my head with a smile. “Your hair is freaking soft. I didn't know that.”
I grin. “The shorter it is, the softer it seems to be, but this is as short as I'll go.”
“Mmm,” she hums in appreciation, moving closer to me.
“Why do you think-”
Lucy lifts a finger to my lips to silence me. “I've been waiting a long time to kiss you, Grant. So it would be really great if we could kiss now and talk later, okay?”
What's a better answer than a kiss? Lots and lots off kisses. It takes a lot of restraint not to kiss her anywhere other than where I already have. She does, however, let me explore a little more of her. I glance up, my fingers around the bottom of her shirt, and she nods. We're apparently going tit for tat because she pulls my shirt off too.
Placing a kiss on her shoulder as I hover over her, I mumble, “Do you wish I was sweaty?”
She giggles. “Maybe a little.”
My chuckle is cut short when I feel the tips of her fingers and her nails on my lower stomach, slowly drag over the skin there.
“Grant?”
“Yeah?” I lift my head to look at her.
“Are you going to kiss me or just breathe on my shoulder?” she laughs softly.
“Sorry.” My eyes find her hands, her knuckles now brushing a little lower before coming back up. “You distracted me for a second.”
Bracing the Blue Line Page 17