Bracing the Blue Line

by Lindsay Paige

  I’m glad she told me I couldn’t talk because I have no idea what to say. Tugging her even closer, I rest my chin on her shoulder. She places her hands over mine and squeezes. So much make sense now. I wish I could make her feel better. She probably doesn’t want me to move my arms, so I kiss her shoulder. Lucy relaxes into me, the tears still falling. I hate those tears so damn much.

  “Luce?”

  Our heads turn at the sound of Corey’s voice. Patrick and Jonathan are standing on either side of him a few feet away. She quickly wipes away the evidence of her crying. The brothers silently walk over, each taking turns kissing her forehead. Then Patrick sits to my right while Jon and Corey sit to my left. Not a word is muttered as we stare at the headstone. Lucy seems to be fighting for control, but suddenly she leans forward and the only reason I know she’s crying is by her shaking shoulders. She buries her face in her hands.

  I run one of my hands up and down her back while leaving the other around her waist. After a few minutes, she’s still crying, her breathing too rapid. I grab her hips, push her to stand, and turn her around before pulling her back in my lap, so she’s straddling me. Lucy immediately throws her arms around my neck as droplets of tears fall onto my shoulder. I hug her to me as tight as possible.

  She told me not to talk, but I can’t bear to see her like this anymore. Turning my head, I let my lips brush over her ear and whisper as quietly as possible.

  “Hey, do you remember what I told you?” Lucy nods. “Say it.”

  She is barely audible, but I hear her voice crack as she says, “I’m with you and everything is okay.”

  “Again.”

  “I’m with you and everything is okay.”

  “One more time for me.”

  Lucy says it again, takes a deep breath, and sits up with a tiny smile. She gives me a quick, soft kiss on the lips before turning towards Patrick.

  “You okay, Luce?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay.” She looks at Jon and Corey. “Are you mad?”

  The brothers glance at me, and I wish they would tell her yes, so I could finally beat the shit out of them. They shake their heads though, and she turns back to Patrick.

  “Are you?”

  “No, Luce, of course not. Believe it or not, I trust your judgment. If you want Grant here, then I want him here for you.”

  Lucy leans over to hug him, whispering something to him. Then she stands and returns to how she was sitting before, in between my legs, and I tuck her against my chest once more. “I think I'm going to stay with Grant for a few more days,” she announces quietly. “If he'll let me, of course.”

  “You know you can,” I interrupt before she can continue.

  Lucy smiles, intertwines our hands in appreciation, and faces the headstone once again. We're quiet for a few minutes before Jonathan interrupts it, pulling something from his pocket, which I just notice is full of something.

  “Look what we found.” He pulls out a small Minnie Mouse stuffed animal.

  Lucy gasps as she snatches it from his hand. She seems at loss for words as she stares at it, turning it over to inspect it. I rest my chin on her shoulder, realizing this must have been the favorite stuffed animal.

  “Minnie Mouse, huh?” I chuckle. It fits perfectly.

  She wrinkles her nose at me. “Yes, what's funny about that?” She clutches the animal to her chest.

  “It's so you, that's all. Soft voice, big smile, and entirely too nice and sweet.”

  Lucy rolls her eyes at me, but there's a hint of a smile upon her lips. “Thank you, Grant,” she says, and I have a feeling it isn't only for what I said.

  “You're welcome.”

  She stands and faces all of us still on the bench. “I think we're ready to go.” Lucy reaches her hand out for mine, so I take it and stand with her. “Same place as always tomorrow?”

  “Yep,” Patrick answers as they nod and stand.

  He hugs her first, then Jon, and then Corey. Lucy keeps her hand in mine the entire time. Because of this, I can hear each whispered “I love you” and Corey's, “Are you sure, Luce?”

  “Yes, I'm fine, and he'll take care of me if I need him to.”

  I'm not going to lie. A shit ton of pride swelled in my chest when she said that. You're damn right I'll take care of her. Better than they have these past few days. Their hug ends and we begin the walk back to our vehicles. I open the door for Lucy while she says one more goodbye to her brothers, and then we're on our way back to the house.

  FOR SOME REASON, I almost expected our first time having sex again to be a little awkward, but it wasn't. Maddie is so much more sure of herself. It makes sense because the last time was her first time, and she's slept with someone since then. We've been pretty addicted to one another since. She sleeps over here so we can do a lot more than sleep, which explains her naked presence in my bed this morning.

  I woke up to her straddling me, her fingertips on my sides above her knees. That's a silly thing to notice with the distraction of her tits against my chest. Her body is pressed against me in some places and a few inches apart in others, her hair tickling my face as it falls forward.

  “You can't keep spending the night, Maddie. I'm sure Neil doesn't want-” I attempt to come up with some logical reason as to why she may need to stay in her dorm, like I actually want her to do that.

  She rightfully cuts me off with a kiss. “Neil is never here. He won't care.”

  “Your parents are paying for you to live in a dorm.” My phone vibrates on the nightstand, and I know it's Dave. Damn it. I never realized how often we actually talked until I had something to hide from him.

  “Don't answer it. I'll love you forever.” Maddie starts kissing down my jaw. “What my parents don't know won't kill them. I'm usually only here at night, so no big deal.”

  My eyes have been eyeing my phone anyway, and my hand flings out to grab it before it vibrated itself right off and onto the floor. Somehow, I manage to connect the FaceTime call with Dave.

  “Bad time?” he asks. My phone is facing the floor, so he sees Maddie's bra, I'm sure.

  Maddie glares as she sits up, and I move the phone, so he can see me. Only my stupid thumb hits the button at the top of the screen, and it swivels so Dave sees Maddie's naked self.

  “What the hell?!” he yells as I frantically try to switch the screen back to me and Maddie's eyes widen as she covers up, realizing what has happened. “What the fuck are you doing with my sister, Winston? I'm going to kill you! What the fuck?!”

  I sit up, lean against the headboard, and glance at Maddie, who is removing herself from my lap. “I didn't mean for you to find out like this.”

  “I hope not! God, Winston! I saw my sister without a shirt or a fucking bra! You're sleeping with my sister?” He shakes his head, the fury rolling off of him. “What the hell were you thinking? What the hell was she thinking?”

  “I'm dating her,” I correct. “And don't make out like I'm bad for her, Dave.”

  “You're my best friend! You aren't supposed to fuck my sister!”

  Maddie has been getting dressed, and she opens her mouth, but I lift my finger to her lips. She doesn't need to say anything to fuel his fire. She frowns.

  “It's not like that, Dave.” I run a hand through my hair.

  “When were you planning on telling me this?”

  “When you came for my game.”

  “I wish you had, so I could hit you. How would this even come about?” He shakes his head like it's impossible. I don't want to tell him about our past, but I may not have a choice. Before I can reply, he goes, “Where's Maddie? Is she decent now?”

  I hand her the phone.

  “Hey, Dave,” she gives him a half smile.

  “Explain this to me, Maddie. He was only helping you study, or he was supposed to be doing that.”

  “He did. Um,” she glances at me, “you asked how it started.” I reluctantly nod. “Remember when I kept getting in trouble for sneaking out in high school? Befor
e y'all left for college?”

  “Yeah. You were with some jackass who took your virginity and broke your heart.”

  Her eyes widen. “Who told you that? I never said anything to you.”

  “No, but you told Christina after she badgered you for weeks about what was wrong.” Christina was Dave's ex-girlfriend from high school. They broke it off over the summer and Maddie was close to her. Really close apparently. “Wait. Are you telling me that was Winston?! She said you were heartbroken. What the hell are you doing back with him? I can't believe this shit.”

  “You acted like you suffered so much because you kept it a secret. But you did talk to someone. You lied to me,” I say to her. I can't believe it. Yeah, it's probably not something to be that upset about, but she made a big deal over having to deal with it all by herself.

  “Have your couples quarrel later,” Dave snaps.

  “No.” I take the phone from her and end the call. “What the hell, Maddie?”

  “Winston.” She leans forward to touch my arm, but I get out of bed, slipping a pair of sweatpants on. “I don't even remember telling her! We went to a party and I remember her asking me about it. She kept refilling my drink, so I guess I told her at some point. I wouldn't have said what I did if I thought I actually told her. Come back over here,” she finishes softly, holding her hand out for me to take.

  I allow her to pull me back onto the bed, sitting on the edge beside her. I'm not so sure how I feel about all of this, so I stay quiet for now and let her do the talking. My phone is vibrating again with another call from Dave.

  “Don't answer it. You can call him back later.”

  “You don't remember telling her?” I ask. “I don't care if you told someone, Maddie, but there's no need to lie about it now.”

  Her hazel eyes gaze at me sadly. “You know I wouldn't lie to you.” We're silent as we process what just happened. Dave knows because he saw his sister half-naked sitting on top of me. He also knows part of what happened in high school with us. “What are you thinking?”

  “I'm thinking that was a shit way for him to find out.” Maddie's phone starts ringing. “Go talk to him. Doesn't look like he'll stop until you do.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I nod and she leaves my side to go answer. I don't really want to hear it, so I grab some clean clothes and head for the shower. Honestly, it feels like things could be worse. Maybe Maddie can calm him down and talk some sense into him. I doubt he wants to listen to me. When I finish, she's still on the phone with him.

  As I walk into the room, she says, “Okay. Hold on.” Maddie holds the phone out to me. “He wants to talk to you. I'm going to take a shower.”

  I take the phone from her and press it against my ear. “Yeah?”

  “I've known you practically my entire life. I know everything you've ever done, good and bad. Why the fuck should I be okay with this, especially knowing what you did to her?”

  “What did she tell you?”

  “Seriously, Winston? That's what you want to know? You're supposed to be my best friend, not my baby sister's boyfriend. If you hurt her, how could we still be friends? If things don't end well, I'm going to have to choose sides. Do you realize what you're risking by doing this?”

  He's starting to really piss me off. “Of course I know! Why do you think Maddie ended things with us the first time, Dave? That was because of you! I wanted to keep my best friend and my girl. When I didn't tell you fast enough and didn't stand up for her to you, I lost her. Don't you fucking tell me I don't know what's on the line. That's the exact reason why I know I'll do everything I need to to make it work. Either learn to deal with it or don't, but I'm not going to lose her again.”

  Dave's quiet for what seems like a long time. Maddie reenters my room, frowns when she sees I'm still on the phone, and sits next to me on my bed.

  “Well?” I ask, tired of waiting.

  He sighs. “I gotta go. Tell Maddie I'll talk to her later.”

  Without saying anything further, I hang up. “He'll talk to you later.”

  “That's it?”

  “That's it.”

  “He'll come around, Winston. Once he sees how we are together, he'll look disgusted, tell us not to kiss around him, and things will be back to normal.” She kisses the corner of my mouth because I haven't turned to look at her yet.

  “Yeah, I'm sure you're right. Let's hit the gym. It's going to be a long day.”

  I'M CONVINCED THAT Maddie is addicted to exercising. She seems to do it even more now that we're dating. Sometimes, she'll run beforehand or it'll be her second, sometimes third, workout of the day. It's insane. When she only eats a protein bar for “breakfast,” I want to say something about how she should eat more, but I don't. I'm sure she'll eat more later. The only reason I'm really noticing is because of a nagging thought in the back of my mind about how what her brother said that night made her start exercising so much in the first place.

  We usually chit chat a little, but today, we exchange few words. Dave was right. He knows about all the shit I've done over the years. The stupid, the not-so-respectful, but also the good and the thoughtful. There's a very good chance that he doesn't want to deal with this because of the simple fact of who I'm dating. I hope not because we've been friends for too long. Knowing Dave, he's probably more pissed about how long he was kept in the dark about it. Smart move, Winston.

  “Are we going to keep not talking or what?” Maddie's voice sounds from next to me.

  I put down my weights and face that small body with hands propped on her hips. “Figured we were just thinking this go round.”

  She shakes her head, stepping closer to pull the fabric of my shirt at my waist into her hands, absentmindedly rubbing it between her fingers. “I was waiting for you to freak out. You're much calmer than I expected.”

  “You wanted me to give you my everything, so that's what I'm doing. Am I a little concerned about it? Sure, but if you're okay, then I'm okay. Like you said, he'll come around.”

  “And if he doesn't? You're going to be fine with that?” She tilts her head to look up at me.

  I lean down to kiss her forehead. “I could be fine with it for you.”

  “NEIL, I THINK you went overboard,” Audra says as we look at all our purchases from todays shopping trip. The week has flown by between school, games, and work. I never knew that I could actually enjoy shopping. Well, I somewhat did. Audra ooh'd and ahh'd over every little thing we saw. That part was fun to watch.

  “I didn't go overboard,” I laugh. Okay, maybe I did, but can you really ever have too many baby clothes? I didn't buy the entire store, so it's fine. Next time, we'll buy the other practical things she'll need. “Come sit.” I sit on the couch and pat the space next to me. When she does, I pat my lap. She doesn't even make a remark, which tells me she either really likes me doing this, or she really wants it. Maybe both.

  I rub her feet and her calves over her jeans, earning an appreciative moan. “Y'all still coming tonight?”

  “Yep. Ma's excited, which surprises me. I don't know why, but I think she likes you.”

  “Hey!”

  Audra smiles. “I didn't mean it like that. I just mean she hasn't really been around you enough to have a valid opinion of you.” Her hand goes to her stomach. “Do you still want me to go tomorrow?”

  “If you're willing.”

  “I am.” She swallows hard. “Are you nervous? I'm nervous.”

  “Yeah, a little.” My honesty surprises her. “I'm not worried about how they are going to treat you or react because they are the best people I know. I'm more worried about myself and how you're going to feel. It has to be a little scary that you're meeting her family.”

  She nods. “What about you? Why are you worried about yourself?”

  With a deep breath, I answer, “Before I told you, I haven't talked about her since the funeral. It's...” I gulp, my throat tightening. “It's hard, Audra. My past and my present are clashing.”


  She pulls her legs out of my lap, moves closer to me, and takes my hand. “Thanks for being open and honest with me, Neil. I really appreciate it.”

  I smile at her, really wanting to get away from this topic. “Can I do something for you?”

  Audra looks at me skeptically. “What?”

  “Is that a yes?”

  “You aren't going to tell me?”

  “No, but I promise it'll be worth it.”

  Reluctantly, she nods. I stand, and she follows me to the her bathroom. Wordlessly, she follows my orders when I ask her to take off her pants and get her legs good and wet. When she finishes, she puts the toilet seat down and sits. I grab her razor and shaving cream, sit on the edge of the tub, and pull a leg onto my lap.

  “Really? You're going to do this?” she asks surprised.

  “Yeah. You said it was too much work, and I figured it would make you feel better, so...”

  “Okay.”

  I lather up the shaving cream, rubbing it over the top and sides of her leg, and then lean back to rinse my hand under the spigot. I'll have to get the back of her legs later. Carefully, I begin to shave her legs. When I glance up at her, she's looking at me a bit strangely.

  “What?”

  “I just...I never thought you would be this type of guy.”

  I grin. “It's amazing what you learn when you actually get to know a person.”

  She sighs and frowns, making me stop what I'm doing to look up at her. “Don't make me feel bad, Neil. I feel like I always say the wrong thing to you anyway.”

  “You're saying what you think. There's nothing wrong with that, Audra.”

  That seems to satisfy her, so I go back to shaving her legs. It takes a while because of how we're doing it, but when I'm done, Audra surprises me by giving me a soft kiss on the lips.