Danielle squeezed her arm. “Don’t feel foolish. That’s the last thing you should be feeling. If anything, he’s the one who should feel foolish for letting you go. Given all that he’s going through with his mom, not to mention his kids and the baggage he’s probably carrying around from his divorce, one day he’ll realize how lucky he was to have you. It can’t be easy to find a woman willing to walk into that situation, much less a woman as sensational as you.”
Cassidy wiped a small tear from the corner of her eye. “Thanks for saying that.”
“I think he’ll figure it out and come around. And if he doesn’t, you’re better off anyway.”
Cassidy picked up her beer, which she had hardly touched, and took a sip. “I appreciate your letting me bend your ear like this, but I think I’m officially sick of talking about Brandon Forrester. What about you? I haven’t seen you in weeks. Where have you been besides London?”
“Just Paris. Spent a full week there relaxing after the conference.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. I figured you’d be raising hell all over Europe.”
“We did venture outside the city for a couple day trips, but it was nice to stay put in the same hotel for once.”
“We? You weren’t alone?”
Danielle hesitated, which Cassidy took as confirmation. “Did you meet someone?”
Danielle remained silent.
“Well? Please tell me you met someone. I could use a romantic story to cheer me up.”
When Danielle still didn’t respond, it clicked. And Cassidy knew.
She set down her glass. “Danielle, were you with…your CFO?”
Danielle covered her eyes with her hand and nodded. “His name is Jonathan.”
“Have you been…seeing him? Is that the trouble you were talking about weeks ago?”
“Sort of.”
“Danielle!”
“Shhh.” Danielle looked around the bar. “Keep your voice down.”
“What’s going on?” Cassidy whispered.
“I couldn’t help myself, Cassidy. I can’t help myself.”
Cassidy kept her voice hushed. “You’re having an affair?”
“Technically, yes. But it’s not like that.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. It’s not like what?”
Danielle sighed. “I mean…I think I’m in love with him.”
Cassidy caught her breath. “Oh, wow.”
Little tears formed in the corners of Danielle’s eyes. “It’s bad, really bad.”
“I’ve never heard you say you were in love.”
Danielle tried to laugh as she wiped away a tear. “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure. I want to walk away from it, but I just can’t.”
“Is he going to leave his wife?”
“I think so. I hope so.”
“You hope so?”
“Well, it’s not like he can just up and take off. It’s not that simple when you have kids.”
“He has kids?”
Danielle nodded. “Three.”
Oh, Danielle. Poor Danielle.
Danielle took a sip of her beer. “He says it’s been over between them for a long time, and not just for him. His wife has checked out emotionally too.”
Cassidy narrowed her eyes. “Isn’t that what they all say?”
“Maybe, but this is different. Even if I hadn’t entered the picture, he wouldn’t want to stay with her. That’s what he says, at least.”
“So he’s getting divorced?”
“I told him I’d give him two months to make a decision.”
“And you think he’ll choose you?”
Danielle nodded, but just slightly. Cassidy had never seen her ever-confident friend look so uncertain.
“And if he doesn’t?”
“I hope I won’t have to face that. He’s really serious about this, Cassidy.”
Cassidy raised an eyebrow. “So he’s never cheated before?”
“Never.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“That’s what he says.”
“And you believe him.” It wasn’t a question.
“I do. I know it sounds bad, Cassidy, but I have a feeling it’s going to work out in the end.”
“But how do you know? That’s what I hoped about Brandon, and look what happened. I ran right into a tree.”
Danielle set down her glass. “That’s why I think you should give Brandon space to let him decide what he really wants.”
Cassidy laughed weakly. “For all these years, you and I have talked about how different we are when it comes to romance, but look at us now, our heartstrings both entangled with unavailable men. What a pair.”
Danielle laughed weakly. “I guess I’m a late bloomer. I know it was wrong to get myself into this situation, and I wish things were different, but what’s done is done and I’m invested now.”
“But what about all the women we know who’ve been down this same road? The guy never leaves his wife. I don’t want you to be one of those women, Danielle. I feel sorry for them.”
“I don’t think I will. I know that sounds naïve, but I really don’t.”
Cassidy held up her palms. “All right, I guess we’ll see what happens. What do I know about relationships anyway? Clearly nothing.”
Danielle smiled. “Thank you for not judging me. It means a lot.”
“That’s what true friends do, right? Or don’t do, I mean.”
“Yes. You’re a true friend to the core. And just so you know, you’re the only person I’ve told about this.”
They sat quietly together, both of them absorbing the shift that had just occurred in their friendship. Love was a powerful drug, something Cassidy knew all too well, and while she didn’t enjoy seeing anyone in this position, she was grateful that Danielle trusted her enough to open up about something so personal.
The revelation stirred something else inside Cassidy. She feared Danielle was in for a painful awakening, but her willingness to straddle a moral line in the name of love certainly shed new light on Cassidy’s own relationship with Brandon, which didn’t seem so complicated anymore.
Or so special.
Had she made it all up in her head?
Danielle said she knew.
Cassidy had never known.
She’d desperately wanted to, but it had never happened.
Her thoughts must have been written all over her face, because after a few moments of silence Danielle reached over and squeezed her hand. “I hope Brandon figures things out, because he would be really lucky to have you.”
“Welcome to Rio Media, Ms. Lane. It’s nice to see you again.” The receptionist greeted Cassidy with a warm smile.
“Hi, Tina, and please call me Cassidy. Otherwise I’ll feel like you’re talking to my mother.”
Tina picked up her phone. “Sorry, force of habit. Nigel’s in his office, if you want to go on back. I’ll tell him you’re here. Can I bring you anything? Coffee? Water?”
“I’m fine, but thank you.” Cassidy made her way through the busy corridors until she reached Nigel’s back corner office. The door was ajar, so she lightly rapped her knuckles against the wood and poked her head inside. “Anybody home? I know I’m early.”
Nigel looked up from his computer and motioned for her to enter. “Hi there, Cassidy. I was just about to watch your video. Have a seat.” He gestured to a chair across from his desk.
She removed her coat and sat down. “Oh my gosh, the video shoot! I forgot all about that. How did it turn out?”
“See for yourself.” He turned his monitor toward her, and together they watched as the screen flickered to life.
INSIDE RIO MEDI
A: BEHIND THE SCENES WITH BESTSELLING AUTHOR CASSIDY LANE
Cassidy let out a small gasp when she saw herself appear on the screen.
Professionally groomed for the cameras and swathed in flattering light, she looked vibrant, graceful, poised, self-assured.
And happy.
Everything she hadn’t felt in weeks.
For the next five minutes she watched herself discuss the journey she was on with Rio Media and how much she was enjoying life as a full-time author. She joked around with the interviewer, admitted her delight at receiving fan e-mails, shared a few blunders she’d made when she was just getting started, and wondered aloud what her next novel would be.
As she enviously watched the person she’d been just two months ago, Cassidy wondered what had happened to her.
I want to be her again.
“Thanks for coming in. I know it’s a pain making the trek when it’s this cold outside,” Nigel said after the video was over.
“I don’t mind. I feel like I became a bit of a shut-in working on the manuscript toward the end, so it’s nice to get out of my apartment.” She kept her hands interlaced on her lap, determined not to chew on her fingernails in front of him. Not only was it unprofessional, but she had a manicure in a couple of hours and couldn’t bear to face Darlene if she let her nerves slip her up after having been so good all week. She tried to shift the focus of her anxiety to Nigel’s countenance, doing her best to read him before he got to the point of the meeting: her new book. What did he think of the way she’d ended it? Not knowing had been eating at her since the moment she’d e-mailed him the manuscript.
He spread his hands on his desk and studied them for a moment, as though deciding what to say next. Or how to say it. His hesitation only exacerbated her angst, and now she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the words he was preparing to utter. Had she blown it by trying something different? Had her effort to demonstrate growth in fact revealed her limitations? Tiny stabs of insecurity began to claw away at her self-confidence. She was tempted to pull out her phone to read some fan e-mails when Nigel made eye contact and spoke.
“Cassidy, I’ve got to say, the hard work you’ve been putting in really shows. You did a fantastic job on the manuscript.”
She put a hand on her heart. “I did?
“Yes. You surprised me, actually, and that doesn’t happen very often.”
“I surprised you? You mean…you didn’t think I’d do a good job?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way. Of course I knew you’d write a great book. What I didn’t expect was the ending, but I love the direction you chose, and I understand why you felt the need to do it. I don’t think a traditional happy ending would have worked for Emma and Jeremy. It would have seemed…forced.”
Cassidy felt herself leaning forward in her chair. “That’s exactly what I was feeling as I was writing it. I think that’s a big reason why I was struggling for so long with how to finish it.”
“Because your books usually have happy endings?”
She nodded. “When I started this one, I completely expected Emma to wind up with Jeremy at the end, but as the book unfolded, it just didn’t seem right, and I knew I had to listen to what the story was telling me, what Emma was telling me. I’m not sure how my readers will react to a different type of ending from me, though. Do you think it will be a problem?” She began to nibble on her fingernail, then yanked her hand away when she realized what she was doing. Stop it.
Nigel shook his head. “If a book tells a good story with interesting, believable characters, readers respond accordingly. And that’s what you’ve done with this book, even though it’s different from what you’ve done in the past. Plus I think the shift in tone will help position you as a more versatile writer. While happily ever after is what a lot of readers want, not everyone buys into the idea.”
Cassidy sighed. “The thing is…” Her voice trailed off.
“The thing is what?”
“The thing is…I still buy into it, which is another reason why I had so much trouble writing the end. Even though I knew it wasn’t right for them to be together, I still wanted them to walk off into the sunset.” She glanced at her hands and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. This conversation was hitting dangerously close to home.
He tapped his pen on the desk. “I’m really proud of you, Cassidy. You listened to what your gut was telling you, even though it wasn’t necessarily what you wanted to hear. That takes talent and maturity, and as a result you wrote a terrific book that is going to sell very well. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”
She smiled. “I’m so relieved.”
“Enjoy the feeling. You worked hard for it.”
“It’s funny to be discussing how the characters—and the story itself—talk to me, because I had a similar conversation a few weeks ago with…” Her voice faded as the tiny seed of an idea began to take shape in a far corner of her brain. She quickly opened her purse and pulled out her pad of sticky notes. “Sorry, Nigel, I just thought of something and I want to write it down before I forget it.”
He made a sweeping gesture with his palm. “By all means. I don’t want to interfere with the creative process.”
“It’s nice to see you again. Are you going anywhere for the holidays?” Darlene asked.
Cassidy smiled as she took a seat. “Leaving tomorrow, actually. Off to California for a couple of weeks.”
“That sounds lovely.”
“What about you?”
Darlene shook her head. “We’ll be here. My husband doesn’t like to travel.”
“Do you live nearby?”
“Not too far.” She reached for Cassidy’s hands, which ended the small talk. “Now let’s have a look at those nails.”
As Darlene studied her hands, Cassidy glanced at the hefty diamond set in a gold band on Darlene’s left ring finger and tried to imagine what her husband was like. She bet he wasn’t too tall but was brawny and barrel-chested, most likely sporting a mustache; tough but like a teddy bear inside. Maybe his name was Mack. Hank? Or Carl? Carl seemed like a good name for the manager of a tire factory.
Before she could ask, Darlene spoke. “They’re looking better, but I suspect you’ve been cheating.”
“I’m trying to be good, I swear I am. It’s just such a habit, especially when I get anxious.”
Darlene gave her fingers a squeeze. “Think you can make it through the holidays for me without a nibble?”
“I can try, but it might be hard. Holidays are always a little stressful.”
“Stressful? What does a pretty young woman like you have to be stressed about?”
“The mistletoe, for one. I hate the mistletoe.”
Darlene raised an eyebrow. “Too many suitors, have you? Not sure which one to pick?”
Cassidy couldn’t help but laugh. “If you only knew.”
“I see what I see, and let’s leave it at that. Now you hush and relax, OK, love?”
“OK.” Cassidy closed her eyes. She wondered what Darlene could see that she couldn’t. Maybe the mistletoe would be her friend this year? Would Brandon have a change of heart? She tried to remember the last time she’d had a real kiss during the holidays. Dean had never come to California with her when they were dating, preferring instead to visit his own family in Chicago. Looking back, part of her had always known their relationship wasn’t going anywhere, and she wished she hadn’t held on for as long as she had.
She wondered where Dean was now. She hadn’t heard from him in months. Was he even in New York anymore? The last time she’d spoken to him, he’d been thinking about moving to London, but then again, he’d always been thinking about moving to London to advance his career.
Maybe he was gone now.
Cassidy half smiled to herself as she realized she didn’t
know—and didn’t care. That was one sure benefit of a new romance. Even if it didn’t work out, at least it got you over the last one.
The circles of life, the circles of love.
“Darlene, I need to speak to you. Please come to my office when you’re through here, will you?”
The hushed yet harsh sound of a woman’s voice yanked Cassidy out of her musings. She opened her eyes and saw Annabelle Polanski standing next to the manicure table, in a huff as usual. Darlene, visibly flustered by the interruption, nodded politely. “Yes, Annabelle. I’ll be there as soon as I finish with Ms. Lane.”
“Thank you. Please pardon the interruption, Ms. Lane. I hope you enjoy your treatment.” Annabelle smiled politely and nodded at Cassidy, then turned on her stiletto heel and disappeared down the hallway.
“She still scares me,” Cassidy whispered.
Darlene stole a quick peek to make sure Annabelle was out of earshot, then turned her attention back to Cassidy’s nails. She curled up her lips ever so slightly and whispered back: “It’s OK, love, she scares me too.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
CASSIDY SETTLED INTO her seat and looked out the window at the darkening sky above. It was still clear, but a big storm was supposed to hit the entire East Coast tonight, and the last place she wanted to be during a snowstorm was on the tarmac. But that was out of her control, so she pulled down the window cover and tried not to think about the weather.
Instead she focused on the trip ahead of her. Assuming they got off the ground, in a few hours she’d be back in Palo Alto.
At her parents’ place, less than a mile from Brandon’s house.
Before Nigel had pushed up her deadline, she’d expected to spend a good chunk of her time at home in a mad rush to finish her book. Now, instead of being chained to her laptop those two weeks, she’d be able to relax, celebrate the early completion of her sixth novel, and treat the trip like an actual vacation, with plenty of time to soak in the spirit of the holidays.
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