by Avery Rae
"Yet you're willing to smuggle me back onto Korystus? When we get back, if you tell them I tried to leave, there's no way they're going to just let me go off on my merry way."
"I didn't plan on telling them."
"Then why not just let me off at Nexion 6? Isn't it a risk either way?"
He brushed his fingers down the side of my face again, eliciting the same full-body shiver. "I don't know that I understand this either, but it feels like I'm willing to risk everything to keep you, and I refuse to risk anything to let you go."
For as selfish as my motivations were, at least I wasn't trying to force someone I hardly knew to be my captive bride. I scooted to the side of my bed, away from his touch. "I'm either free on Nexion 6, or I'm a prisoner on Korystus."
"Vera—"
"Take your pick, Talys."
His expression was far more conflicted than I would've liked to see. I couldn't believe it was that hard of a choice. The longer he stared at me, however, I realized that it really wasn't that simple for him, and I had a feeling he was swaying much farther into the direction that landed me back on Korystus.
"Why?" I breathed out, a faint crease to my brow. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"I don't know," he said, and I believed him.
"Just do whatever you want, Talys." I rolled over and faced the wall, my throat thick with a lump in the middle. "It's not like I have a choice."
"Vera—"
"Just go, okay? Please. Just . . . leave me alone."
I told myself I wanted him to leave, yet when I heard the gentle hiss of my door sliding open and shut, I felt a sting. Maybe some part of me had hoped he'd see the light. That I couldn't ever agree to be with someone who wouldn't let me make my own choices.
It was the one thing I wanted, and it seemed so damn elusive. Was it so much to ask that I get to live my life, and not one that was thrust upon me by circumstance? Was that so silly to ask? I was starting to think the answer might be yes.
Maybe I really was clinging to childish ideas of how things worked. Maybe . . . maybe Talys was my best shot at a good life. But I couldn't be sure. I just didn't know him well enough. But I wanted to.
At that thought, I sat up in bed, my heart picking up speed. Oh my stars, I like him. I really, really do like him. Or whatever I'd seen of his other side, at least. The one that took care of me when I was a mess. The one that talked to me gently and smiled so sweetly when he thought I wasn't looking. It reassured me that he wasn't like the others, the ones who'd been ashamed of me. He was different, right?
I wasn't actually sure, but I had a feeling I might be making a mistake by writing him off completely. Maybe if we just talked a little more . . . That was what my caseworker used to tell me back in the day. I needed to talk more, act out less. I'd done a pretty good job up until now.
I sat up—a little too quickly, considering my head—and staggered to the door. I wasn't going to clam up like a fool. If I felt something, even something tiny, then I needed to tell him. I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny, right? I had to start somewhere, and I had a feeling it might just be with Talys. If only I could make him understand.
I rushed out into the hallway, and was immediately greeted by his familiar, forever-bare chest, his dark purple tattoo glowing softly against his skin.
"Vera?" he asked with a hint of confusion. "What're you doing up?"
"I was going to find you."
"Come with me," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle.
He shifted some things between his hands, cradling something in his arm, then took one of my hands. It was then I realized he had several things, although I couldn't quite make out what was what. I studied him as he led me inside his room and to his bed, noting the concern in his expression.
"Are you afraid of needles?"
I shook my head. "Not very—ow!"
I looked down in time to see him tossing a small, silver canister aside. "It's just to help with your head."
"You tricked me," I murmured.
"Well, you had to take it either way."
Talys settled me back into bed, tucking his maroon covers around me before taking a seat beside me on top of them. As he handed me a drink, I tilted my head to the side and quietly said, "You're different."
He arched a brow. "Am I?"
"What happened to the guy who gave me the servant’s room?"
He sighed, reached for a tablet at his bedside, and fiddled with it. "It's the only other room I have. Artos stays in what's supposed to be the guest's quarters."
"What's the deal with you and him?" I asked, leaning back into the plush pillows. "He's not really a guard, is he?"
"How did you know? I'm starting to think you know Korystus better than some Korysti."
"I had a good teacher."
"Ulyr, was it?"
"Yep." A dopey smile worked its way onto my face. I missed that guy so much.
I saw a flicker of something almost . . . distraught in Talys's expression, but I didn't have long to look. He hit some button on his tablet and the lights dimmed. The glow of the tablet cut out, then he settled in beside me.
"Artos was the son of one of my family's maids. With things the way they are on Korystus, with everything passing through families, he didn't stand to inherit much. Nobody on our planet goes hungry, or even without small pleasures, but . . . they don't get much choice in their life's path."
I snorted. "It seems like a common problem for every species on that planet."
"He'd always dreamed of seeing the universe, but he was destined to most likely become a butler. So, despite the fact that he had no qualifications, I hired him."
"That sounds risky for a position like that."
"It gave me the means to say I had the protection I needed and help a friend out."
"Why not actually get real protection? Aren't you scared of, I don't know, space pirates or something?"
He laughed. "No, absolutely not. The universe isn't as scary as people want to think it is, and I'm of the controversial opinion that fear is what holds us back."
I thought back to the small, but gorgeous planet that was Korystus. Eternally night with two moons rotating around the planet. It was filled with riches. Large buildings, people dressed in luxurious fabrics (albeit scantily), and the sheer beauty of every inhabitant, each one carefully molded in a lab, was a sight to behold.
"The Korysti seem to be doing pretty well for themselves."
"As far as wealth goes, sure. But our culture is stagnant. We surround ourselves with overpriced things and tell ourselves we're beautiful and happy and that's all that matters."
"Is that why you—"
"Try to fill that void with women?"
"Uh, I was actually going to bring up the random collections . . ." Although he couldn't see me, I pointed around the room. "The books in obviously different languages from your own. The alcohol from all over."
"Well, yes, I suppose so. I indulge in the universe that they would have cut me off from. In many ways."
I went quiet for a moment, mulling that over. Could that be why he finds me so interesting? Why he goes through so many? Was I just . . . part of a collection? That might explain why he's been so dogged about getting his way.
"Vera?" In the darkness, Talys touched a hand to my shoulder, feeling up to my cheek, then forehead. "Are you feeling well?"
"I'm okay," I whispered. "Mostly."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know how to ask this nicely, but am I just an . . . indulgence . . . to you?"
"In a way."
I winced, then nodded. "Cool, so, let's talk about anything else but that."
"You brought it up."
"Everyone makes mistakes."
"Indeed they do."
I stiffened as his fingers absently played at the hem of my shirt but he did nothing more than toy with the fabric, rolling it between his fingers. I let myself relax, inch by inch, settling back against the pillows. At least he was honest.
/>
"I think you might know why you don't want to leave me on Nexion 6," I found myself saying. "And I think you should explore that. Because . . . it's not fair."
"Oh?"
"You do. Deep down, maybe."
I was just a thing to him, and the sooner he admitted it, the better. I liked this side of him, I really did, and if he saw me as anything more than an object to go in his collection, I might consider something more, but not if he couldn't figure it out for himself. He would just deny it if I told him.
He wrapped his arm around me a little tighter. "You might be right."
"Promise me you'll think about it?" I asked, clinging to this last hope.
"You need to get some rest," he said quietly, voice unusually soft. "The injection will work quickly, but you'll need to sleep it off still."
I nodded in the darkness. My eyelids were already drooping. "What is this?"
"The medicine?" he asked with a hint of confusion.
"No, this side of you. You're being so nice. What happened to Mr. My-Door-is-Open?"
He didn't reply until sleep started to tug me down to a comfortable darkness, his voice distant. "You rejected him," he said. "And if you don't want him, I'm not sure I want to be him."
"I like you, Talys," I murmured sleepily. "You're not as bad as you seem."
He chuckled softly. "I like you too, Vera."
"I wish things could be different."
He was quiet for a moment. "Me too, darling."
As I sank into sleep, Talys slid his arm around my midriff and curled up beside me. My last thought was of how wonderful it felt having someone sleep beside me. No . . . not just someone, it was that it was Talys.
I wasn't sure how much later it was when I stirred in the middle of my rest, desperately thirsty, and found the bed empty. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out. For all I knew, it'd been hours and Talys and Artos were already up and being productive. I yawned and padded out into the hallway, heading for the kitchen. The ship's lights were dimmed all around, hinting at everyone still being asleep. I made a mental note to find Talys after I got something to drink.
Once in the kitchen, I was searching around for a glass when hushed laughter reached my ears. Noticing a faint glow, I moved toward the open doorway that led into the lounge. Just as quickly as I rounded the corner, I froze, then took several steps back. My heart tensed and squirmed, climbing up into my throat. What's going on here?
Talys was lounging his semi-nude form in an armchair, bathed in the red glow that came from his tablet, which was resting on the table in front of him. The red coloring came from the gorgeous alien woman projecting out from the screen. Gorgeous wasn't even the right word for her.
Different from the clinical perfection of the Korysti, she had a unique, hard beauty. Her skin was a rich, dark red and her lips, the top lip bigger than the bottom, gave her a pouty look, accentuated by the black lipstick she wore. Her long, almond-shaped eyes were a fiery orange and rimmed with what looked like thick, dark kohl. Her hollow cheekbones hinted at a form more svelte than my stout self could ever manage.
The woman's eyes were drifting up and down Talys's body as if she could touch him with a look alone.
"To what do I owe this pleasure, Tal?" she asked with a wry smile. "You're lucky my father isn't monitoring my calls anymore."
"I think that makes you the lucky one," Talys replied in that smooth, charming voice of his. Although, I didn't find it so charming in that moment. Not because I was jealous—which I absolutely, totally, and completely was—but because it rang hollow to me now.
"As if you don't love every minute you've spent with me?"
"If only it didn't always end in your father threatening to jail me, Roxa."
She lifted one shoulder in a delicate shrug, her blazing eyes filled with coy mischief. "He knows how much it upsets me when you leave."
My stomach churned. It was no secret that Talys was . . . prolific, but I'd sort of assumed that he didn't see the same woman more than once. That made it easier somehow. Less emotional. But there were clearly some emotional ties here, whether they were one-sided or not.
Even worse, it wasn't like I could hate Roxa for being a bombshell, and I couldn't blame Talys for wanting to get him some of that either. If the opportunity struck, I wasn't sure I could say no either. That didn't make it hurt any less, though.
If he really wanted something with me, why would he jump at the opportunity to go talk with an old flame while I was sleeping in his bed?
"You know I don't like leaving you, but Korystus needs me."
Roxa rolled her eyes and made a snoring noise. "I've been there. So boring. You'd have so much more fun on Nexion."
"Would I? I only barely tolerate bureaucracy as it is."
She frowned. Beautifully, of course. "It's because we're so good at what we do that our planets are so great. Have you ever been to a Nexion that wasn't flawless?"
"Not all of them have you."
She gasped, then let out a delighted laugh. "You're shameless, but lucky for you, I'm a glutton for your flattery. What do you want from me?"
Talys pressed a hand to his chest. "You wound me."
She tossed her head back and laughed, silky white hair sliding over her shoulders. "Talys, you're no good at these games. Why not just be honest? Tell me what you want from me, then I'll tell you what I want from you."
"I know what you want from me, Roxa."
She leaned forward. "Well then, tell me what you want from me."
"I've got a human stowaway on board. Could you do me a favor and make sure we get that documented on arrival?"
Roxa's expression twisted. "Oh, Talys, you should know better. Why would you bring one of them at a time like this?"
"You don't need to worry about that. Just make sure it's documented."
"What's her name?"
"You just told me not to try to play games, Roxa. The same goes for you."
"The only thing is . . . I'm actually good at them." She smirked. "And I can tell that it's a girl."
"How so?"
"You got defensive the moment I asked about her. But I'll be nice, for now. Tell me what you want to happen."
Talys shifted in his seat, leaning forward so that he was closer to the beautiful hologram, and my jealousy flamed out of control. "Could you do me a favor and make sure we get that documented on arrival?"
"Paperwork? For me?" Roxa purred. "It's like you want me to love you even more."
Why did he want me documented? Didn't that mean the Korysti would find out? My expression fell flat. It would mean they'd find out, and probably send Talys back to collect me. How convenient.
"Could you ever possibly love me more?"
"Why don't you come find out when you land?"
"Will you ever be able to get away from your father?"
The alien woman pouted her dark red lips. "Not if he knows you're going to be here. Maybe if I altered the paperwork a little more and changed your name . . ."
"Well, maybe you should do just that. But I still need my stay documented before I leave, so . . ."
"Anything for you, my love," Roxa said with a grin. "It'll be taken care of."
I barely stifled a noise of disgust. This was only about making sure he kept his hands clean. Keeping his name clear. It wasn't even about me. Not at all. All this talk of love and coy smiles made my stomach churn. For someone who didn't play games, he sure as hell was playing one of us, and I had a not-so-funny feeling it was actually both of us. Only I was the one being completely duped until now. This Roxa seemed to have some idea of what was going on, but she was okay with it.
I wasn't.
Unable to stand watching them a second longer, I pushed away from the door. I didn't know whether to be sad or angry as I strode back to my room as fast as my stubby legs, undoubtedly much less perfect than Roxa's, could carry me.
I was nearing my room when Artos's door slid open. He wandered out sleepily as I charged for my door. "Vera? Is t
hat you making all that noise?"
"Sorry, I was—I was exercising." I wanted to bang my head on the wall for that one. But with the whole concussion thing, it didn't seem like a wise move.
Although my lie was all too obvious, it took him a moment to respond, his brows knit together in the middle. "You were . . . what?"
Despite my fury, I turned around with a hint of confusion coloring my otherwise furious thoughts. "You know, moving your limbs super fast to burn off calories and whatever?"
He shook his head.
"Wow, exercise is a foreign concept to you? And you get to look like that? Could your lives get any more perfect?" I tossed my hands up in the air. "And yet you're still manipulative, selfish little assholes." I paused. "Except for you—you seem nice."
He scratched at the back of his neck. "I assume something's happened with Talys?"
I bristled. "No. Nothing."
"Vera, he's the only other person on this ship, so unless you're angry at me or . . ."
"I let him kiss me," I blurted out. "And you were right, it was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. I mean, maybe I'm not fit for freedom. I don't even know how to adult properly."
Artos hung his head and sighed. "I tried to warn you."
"Okay, it wasn't that bad, Artos." Funny words coming from the woman who just woke someone up by stomping around so loudly, but I knew it was true. I would get over this soon, right? I barely even knew the guy, plus . . . "I didn't sleep with him or anything."
He lifted his head, surprise written all over his face. "You didn't?"
I shook my head.
"Then why're you so upset?"
"Because I did something even worse." I opened up to him.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Don't worry about it." I folded my arms across my chest and hugged them to myself.
When it looked as if Artos was going to pry for more, I shook my head, letting him know I wasn't going to answer anything else. There was no point. I was all worked up over nothing. Or, well, something. But it was something stupid. An idealistic, silly little crush born in close confinement. It was a dumb thing to get worked up over.
I turned to head inside my room. "I just want to be alone, if that's cool."
"Vera—"