by Liz Kessler
The only thing that made me feel better was that I got a card from Charlotte. She must have sent it before she’d gotten my letter, so at least I didn’t have to worry about her teasing me about fairies. I just couldn’t have taken that at this point.
Hi, Philippa!
I got a pony! Her name is Magic. She’s beautiful. It’s all FABBBB here! Will catch up for real soon. Going riding in a minute!
How are you? Have you written yet? Tell me everything that’s going on. I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooo much!
Lots of love,
Your best friend always, (I’ve still got the daisy chain. It’s wilted a lot, but I pressed it in a book. I’m going to keep it always, like we said.)
Charlotte xoxo
I had another pang of guilt as I realized I’d been so taken up with everything going on with Daisy that I’d hardly thought about Charlotte. Was I forgetting about her already — in less than a week? What kind of a best friend did that make me? No wonder Daisy didn’t want to be my friend.
I sat in my room surrounded by my schoolbooks, trying to do my homework. I couldn’t concentrate, though. I picked up a pack of cards and tried to practice a couple of tricks, but my heart wasn’t even in that. I picked up more petals that had fallen onto the floor and straightened the daisy in its eggcup. Then I tried to think about anyone in the world whom I could talk to, or somewhere I could go where I wouldn’t feel so alone. I came up blank. I didn’t even have the tree house anymore. Even that was Daisy’s now.
I decided to go to bed early. Maybe when I was asleep, I could at least dream of a more pleasant life than my real one.
I drifted off quickly, falling into a jittery, light sleep, just below the surface of wakeful awareness.
There was a tapping sound. I was in the woods, surrounded by tall trees, sunlight spiking down between them in pointy rays. A woodpecker. I stood and watched it tapping its head against the side of the tree. Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. It stopped for a moment, turning its head to look at me. The tree turned to glass, and the woodpecker went back at it. TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP. Louder and faster.
Then —“Philippa!” Someone was calling me through the trees.
“Philippa!” TAP! TAP! TAP!
I opened my eyes.
I was in my bedroom, not the woods. There was no woodpecker; I was wide awake. But the tapping was still going on. What was it?
I got out of bed and crept over to the window. Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. It was at my window! But that was impossible. My bedroom was upstairs! How could someone reach my window? A window cleaner? That was the best my sleepy brain could come up with. I glanced at my clock. It was nearly midnight. Not the window cleaner, then.
“Philippa!” The voice called again from outside. I realized who it was. I pulled the curtain back. And there she was, right outside my window. Daisy!
I just gaped at her. I didn’t know what to say or how to make my voice say anything at all. Even though I knew what Daisy was, even though I’d even seen her wings, I still hadn’t been prepared for this — a real, live fairy hovering outside my window, flying in the air in the middle of the night. It was like something directly out of a book or a movie. Not out of real life — certainly not my life!
Her yellowy blond hair looked almost gold in the night sky; her school uniform had been replaced by what looked like white silk and feathers. Everything about her sparkled and shone, lighting up the space all around her. Her beautiful wings vibrated softly as she hovered in the air, right there in the dark night sky, their feathery tips flashing like sparklers as the moonlight hit them.
“Philippa, you have to come with me,” Daisy said. “The next shooting star is in half an hour. You can make another wish.”
I was about to leap into action and do exactly what she said. She did care about me after all. She wanted me to get my wish!
Then I remembered. She only wanted me to have my wishes as soon as possible so she could get her assignment done and get away from me. I had to remember that. It wasn’t because she liked me; it wasn’t because she wanted me to be happy. It was just a job, and she wanted it done. I must not ever forget that again.
Still, after the day I’d had, I knew instantly what I was going to wish for.
“I’ll meet you in five minutes,” I said. Then I pulled my robe on and, for the third time in a week, crept as silently as I could through the sleeping, silent house and out into the backyard.
Daisy was waiting for me inside the tree house.
“We’ve got about twenty minutes,” she said, fumbling with the box that held the vouchers. “Do you know what you’re going to wish for?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.
Daisy looked up. It was the first time she’d met my eyes since lunchtime. I looked away.
“Look, Philippa, about before . . .”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I know you’re just here to do your job. You’ve told me enough times. It’s not your fault that I thought for a moment there was anything more to it than that, or that I thought we were almost becoming friends.”
“We were becoming friends. We are becoming friends.”
“It didn’t sound like it earlier.”
Daisy dropped her head. “I know. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I said those things. I didn’t mean them. I just got so angry at Trisha in the heat of the moment. I don’t seem to be able to think before I speak sometimes.”
“Well, maybe the heat of the moment is when the truth comes out. If you didn’t have time to stop and think about what you were saying, perhaps that means you spoke the truth.”
“No, it’s not like that, honestly. I —”
“Forget it, Daisy,” I snapped. I wanted to believe her, but I’d been taken in once and I wasn’t about to let her make a fool of me again. “I know where you stand, and it’s fine. Just tell me where the star is coming from and what to do, and we’ll be two–thirds of the way through your assignment. Then we’ve just got the final wish, and you’re out of here.”
Daisy fell silent. I looked over at her. Her face was gray. She looked smaller somehow. Her skin was pale in the moonlight, her face even thinner than usual. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?” I asked.
She let out a sigh. “No, it’s, well, yes, I mean — look, I don’t know what I want anymore. This assignment isn’t what I was expecting.”
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to say anything to make me feel better. In fact, it’s best if you don’t even try. You’ll probably just make things worse. Let’s just move on to what we’re here to do.”
Daisy nodded glumly. Then she handed me the envelope. “It’s coming from the west; that’s over there.” She pointed to the window facing the house. “You’ll probably see it come directly over the roof of your house.”
“What time?”
Daisy checked her MagiCell. “12:35.”
“OK. Five minutes, then.”
I took the envelope to the window and opened it up. Colors sparkled and leaked all around my hands, flowing over me like warm water.
I could hear Daisy shuffling around behind me. She didn’t say anything else to me, though. I didn’t say anything to her, either. There was nothing more to say. We both knew exactly where we stood now, so we just had to deal with it.
“This is it. Ready?” Daisy held her MagiCell out in front of her, studying the screen. “Ten seconds.”
I counted down in my head. Then, just as I’d done last time, I held my arm right out the window into the night sky, the voucher in my open palm. Then I spoke out loud, as clearly as I could. My second wish was simple.
“I wish I were the most popular girl in school,” I said.
Whoosh! The star came out of nowhere, zooming up from behind the house and over the roof, just as Daisy had said it would. It swept across the sky, zipping over the tree house, right over our heads, and whisking my wish away with it.
It was over in seconds.
Which left Daisy and me alone in the tree h
ouse again. And the blackness of the sky outside, surrounding us, made the silence between us even deeper.
“I’ll just go back to the house,” I said awkwardly.
Daisy was working on her MagiCell, punching buttons and frowning at the screen as she scribbled in one of the notebooks she seemed to have decided was hers now.
She looked up at me. “I’m going to make this one work really well,” she said.
“I know you will,” I replied, my voice coming out a little harder than I intended. “It’s your job, and you want to do it as well as you can.”
Daisy sighed. “It’s not just because it’s my job, Philippa,” she said. “I want to show you that I —”
“Save it, Daisy,” I said firmly. “You don’t need to tell me things just to make me feel better. I know how you feel. It’ll be over soon.”
She didn’t say anything else. As we looked at each other, I almost thought I saw her eyes start to water. It was just the moonlight reflected in them, though. It must have been.
I climbed down the stairs. “See you in the morning,” I said. Daisy just swallowed and nodded in reply.
What was happening to me? Was I sick?
Fairy godmothers don’t get sick! But I couldn’t remember feeling like this before. It was a kind of pain in my throat. Not a pain exactly, just a feeling. Like something was stuck in there. Had I eaten something I shouldn’t have? All I’d had all day were dandelion leaves and straw sticks. Had I drunk enough water?
But there was something else. My chest was tight. My eyes hurt. And what was that?
A drop of water fell onto my MagiCell. I looked up at the roof to see if there was a leak. It wasn’t even raining.
My cheek was damp. What was happening to me?
I put down my MagiCell and my pen and leaned back against the tree-house wall. Face it, Daisy. It’s tears. You’re crying. You’re upset.
But I didn’t get upset! Certainly not over a human! I was too tough for that. Feelings like that were for wimps. I didn’t do upset — ever since my friend was swatted dead. That was the last time I’d felt anything like this. In fact, ever since then, I’d hardly really done emotion at all, now that I thought about it.
Was that the problem? It wasn’t only that I didn’t get hurt; it was that I didn’t really care at all. About anything. I never seemed to feel happy or have fun or laugh or smile or anything.
And what was the point of that?
I thought about Philippa doing her magic tricks and how nice it had felt to see her face shining with pleasure when I told her how good she was at it. I didn’t really know much about that kind of feeling, to be honest. The kind that fills you up with much more pleasure than you can ever get if you go around not caring about people.
Suddenly, I wanted to feel; I wanted to care — even if it hurt sometimes. And I wanted Philippa to know I cared. Maybe it was too late, after what I’d done in the cafeteria. I could hardly believe I’d been so stupid and so horrible. I couldn’t bear to think about it.
Maybe Philippa would never want to be my friend now, but at least I could try. All I wanted was to see her smile a little more.
Well, by the time I got her second wish in place, she’d definitely be doing that. And with a bit of luck, she’d remember who’d made it happen and maybe even forgive me. Perhaps we could even be friends.
One thing at a time. I had to get to work. I scribbled away in the notebook, writing down all the things I needed to organize before Monday.
The sun was starting to rise when I finally finished my report for ATC. I snuggled down as best I could on the blanket and fell into a smiling sleep.
Nothing worthy of note happened over the weekend. I spent most of it in my bedroom doing my homework and learning new magic tricks. I didn’t go down to the tree house — I didn’t want to see Daisy again. I didn’t even reply to Charlotte’s letter. I couldn’t bring myself to write to her while I was feeling so low. She was enjoying her new life so much that it didn’t feel fair to bring her down. I kept out of Mom and Dad’s way, too, as far as I could. They seemed to spend half the weekend arguing and the other half ignoring each other. Welcome to the house of fun.
I heard them when I woke up on Monday morning. I couldn’t tell what they were saying at first; I could just hear my mom’s raised voice. My parents had never argued before, so at first I thought the TV was on really loud. But I crept to my bedroom door and opened it just enough to listen, and that’s when I heard what they were saying.
“And whose perfume was it that you were wearing last night?” Mom was yelling.
“Perfume? I don’t wear perfume!” Dad replied.
“Exactly! So who does? I bet it’s that new girl in the office. She’s been after you ever since she started there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“Ridiculous? I’m ridiculous?” Mom yelled back, her voice growing more and more high-pitched with each word. “I’m not the one acting like a teenage boy, staying out all hours and coming home stinking of whiskey and another woman’s perfume!”
“I was not with Ann,” Dad said firmly. “But I’ll tell you something — it’ll be a relief to get to work and see her. At least she gives me a smile in the morning. At least she can laugh without scheduling it in her planner!”
There was silence after that. I crept back into my bedroom, closing the door as quietly as I could behind me. My hands shook as I got dressed.
By the time I came downstairs, they were both trying to act as though nothing had happened. Dad sat at the table with his paper as usual. Mom had my breakfast on the table for me, just like every day this week. I couldn’t eat it, though.
“Are you ready?” Dad asked coldly as I picked at my egg.
I got up quickly. “Yep.” I took my breakfast to the sink. “Sorry, Mom, I’m not very hungry this morning.”
Mom gave me a tight, false smile. “Not to worry, darling. Make sure you have a good lunch.”
“OK.”
She stood in front of me awkwardly. She looked as though she wanted to say something else.
“What?” I asked.
Mom shook her head. “Nothing, dear. Have a good day.”
“You too,” I said. Then I reached out to give her a hug. She jumped a little, as though she’d gotten an electric shock. I put my arms around her, and she gave me a clumsy, halfhearted hug back. She couldn’t even hug me properly.
“Off you go, dear,” she said, letting me go as quickly as she could.
Dad had the radio on by the time I got in the car, and we didn’t talk all the way to school. It was excruciating. I kept trying to think of ways to make conversation with him, but my mouth and my words dried up every time I tried. He didn’t seem bothered. He didn’t even look at me, just stared ahead and listened to his precious financial news.
By the time I got to school, I’d almost forgotten about Friday night’s wish, so it took a moment to realize what was happening. It started the second I got out of the car.
“Hi, Phil.”
“Hey, Phil.”
“Morning, Phil. Want a hand with your books?”
I was almost dizzy by the time I got to the school door. I had to turn around to say hello to someone every other second. It seemed like the whole school knew me. I’d always been one of the ones no one noticed. I suppose I’d usually been fine with it that way. If they didn’t notice you, at least nothing bad would happen. Secretly, though, I’d always wanted to be one of the ones who was noticed — but in a good way. And now, thanks to my wish, it was really happening! Everywhere I looked, people were smiling at me, waving at me, coming over to say hi. I felt like a movie star.
By the time Miss Holdsworth came into class to take attendance, I’d forgotten about my parents. Home life could wait. School was what I cared about right now. And boy, was I going to have a good day at school!
Daisy burst through the door just in time to hear her name called out. “Yes, Miss Holdsworth,” she answered breathlessly.
I turned away. I wasn’t going to let Daisy bother me today. I didn’t need her now, anyway. I could be friends with anyone I wanted.
She tried to catch my eye as she sat down, and I felt a bit bad for ignoring her. I mean, it was thanks to her that I was suddenly Miss Popular.
I turned to face her. “Thank you for the wish,” I said as politely as I could. “I’m very grateful.”
Daisy smiled such a big smile at me that for a moment I wanted to smile back and forgive her for what she’d done. I wanted to confide in her about Mom and Dad and laugh with her about how good it felt having everyone want to know me. I wanted to share all sorts of things with her — kind of like what you’d do with a best friend.
But I didn’t. I had to remind myself that she didn’t care about me. She didn’t even like me. She was just doing her job. I was an assignment to her and nothing more. I could not forget that again.
So I turned away from her and opened my geography book.
Five minutes into the lesson, Lauren passed a note across the table to me while Miss Holdsworth was writing something on the board. I grabbed the note and opened it below my desk.
Me and Beth aren’t going to be best friends anymore. We both want to be yours! Have you decided which of us you want to be best friends with?
I looked up at Lauren. She was smiling hopefully at me. Lauren and Beth both wanted to be my best friend? But they’d been best friends forever! They were like two halves of an orange. I couldn’t imagine them not being best friends.
I scribbled a note and shoved it back across to Lauren.
Let’s all be best friends!
For a second, she looked disappointed. But a moment later, she glanced up at me and nodded. “OK,” she mouthed.
That was one thing taken care of, then. I didn’t have to worry about hanging around on my own anymore. I mean, Lauren and Beth had tried to include me since Charlotte had left, but I could tell their hearts hadn’t really been in it. Now I knew they really wanted to hang around with me. I didn’t need to feel like the third wheel. And I certainly didn’t need Daisy!