A Devil of a Date

by Long, Andie M.

  “On it.” He said. As I made my sandwich, I realised how grateful I was that Frankie was around this week. Soon he’d be confident enough to go out at night, so it was fortuitous that right now when I most needed it he was able to give me support through these nightmare dates. I just hoped things couldn’t get any worse.

  Saturday

  “Why did I have hope? That’s a them upstairs kind of feeling.”

  I smelled burning. Oops. “Sorry, Frankie. I owe you a new coat. I hope that one didn’t have any sentimental value.”

  “Kitchen.” He shouted from the living room.

  Wandering through to the kitchen I saw a buffet laid out: little sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls, etc, and a choice of wine, lemonade, or vodka.

  I heard footsteps and turned as Frankie hovered in the doorway behind me. “I took a wild guess at the outcome.” He shrugged his shoulders. “So grab a plate, load up and come and tell me all about it. Again.”

  I piled my plate high. Stress eating, that was what my life had come to.

  Walking back into the lounge, I sighed. “One more date to go. It’s a wildcard apparently. I have to humour Kim. It can’t be any worse than tonight’s.”

  Frankie got comfortable on the sofa like my stories were from CBBC bedtime. Glad someone could find them entertaining.

  “Tonight’s date was a Brownie.”

  “As in a Girl Guide? What sick shit is Kim dealing in now.” Frankie laughed and winked. “Just joking with you. So. A Brownie. As in a male fairy?”

  “Yes. He came for our date and I hadn’t even attempted to book Beached with my latest adventures there so I thought oh I’ll go back to Jetty’s and take him there. Anyway, he was fantastic, Frankie. On the small side but really attentive. He kept stroking my hair, tucking it behind my ears; he pulled out my chair for me. He even cleaned around my plate when I spilled ice cream. That’s how attentive he was.”

  “Oh dear,” Frankie exclaimed, and I guessed he knew what was coming.

  “I thought, it’s happening. I found someone. Kim’s finally worked her mojo. He was handsome, just, kind of perfect.”

  “So you didn’t understand what a Brownie was?”

  “No. He just said he was a male fairy, so I thought he must fly around the bottom of people’s gardens at night.”

  “But Brownies are house fairies…”

  “Well I know that now, knobhead.”

  That earned me a raised eyebrow.

  “Sorry. I’m just rather frustrated.” I huffed. “So, we’re approaching getting the bill when he jumps up and starts tidying all the tables. All of them. Well people looked at him very strangely and then at me. The next thing, anyone who had ice cream or cream left in their bowl - he drank it down. Right in front of them! The staff there became agitated and so I went over to him to ask what he was doing and that’s when he explained, that he cleans up in restaurants and in reward he’s given cream. Except, Jetty’s hadn’t asked for his help. He’d just taken it upon himself to tidy up. Then,” I said the word again with emphasis, “then, I realised he hadn’t been attentive to me. He’d been tidying me up. Placing my hair behind my ear and smoothing it - tidying my appearance. Holding out and then tucking my chair in - making sure the chair was away tidily. Cleaning up my spills - well, you get the picture. I never want another ice cream as long as I live. I looked at my plate. “So I’m going to stuff my face with this feast and then I’m hitting the vodka.”

  “Well, I’m about to watch the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory if you’re interested?”

  “Yeah, stick it on.” I said. “A date with the television is what I need right now.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kim

  I’d not had time to brood about Darius today. Other than Lucy’s failed dating attempts, the rest of the Supe Dating was going amazing and I’d been rushed off my feet. However, we were receiving a special guest at 3pm and so all dressed up with my best business suit on, I sat with Shelley and Theo in her office.

  And such as it was that just as the sky was darkening on this winter afternoon, the office shone bright as Angel Sophia, the Archangel of Love, appeared in the office with Andrew at her side.

  “Thank you for seeing us.” She said. “Please take a seat, Andrew.”

  Sophia looked directly at Theo. “My many thanks for your quick actions last night in ensuring that Andrew’s identity as an earth angel remained a secret.”

  “You are very welcome.” Theo replied.

  “Well, I wanted to give my thanks in person and Andrew would like to add something.”

  Andrew coughed. “Yes, I would also like to give my thanks to you, Theo; and also, erm, Kim, if I could be removed from the dating agency site?”

  “Oh, yes, sure.” I said. “Any reason why?”

  Sophia smiled. “Angels mainly belong with other angels, unless I decide there’s a specific reason for a different union, and our love is entirely different in that Andrew will find his companion in time naturally. He’s had a few forks in the road, so to speak and last night’s dalliance with a part-demon, well, it’s not gone down too well in the higher echelons. So, I’m taking him under my wing and I shall guide him on his future journey. We’ve decided that the life of an earth angel is not suited to Andrew and so he’s moving on up, shall we say?”

  Her smile almost knocked you sideways in its beauty and power.

  Sophia produced a silver envelope seemingly from nowhere and handed it to Theo.

  “Shortly, you will need this. It’s an angel calling card. I met with our oracle to discuss how I could repay you and this is what she advised. There is no point in you opening it as the words will only appear on the card inside at the correct point in time. I would suggest you give the card to your wife. As she is currently the most powerful of those in Withernsea, it will fare her well.”

  She tapped Andrew on the shoulder. “It is time for us to leave.”

  “Thank you for this.” Shelley said bowing her head. “We are most honored to have met you.”

  “And I you.” Sophia said and then with a blast of bright light her and Andrew were gone.

  “Did that really happen?” I asked Shelley and Theo, just as a large, white feather drifted down and landed at my feet.

  “I guess it did.” I said.

  Just before closing a knock came at my office door. “Come in.”

  I blinked rapidly when I was faced with the sight of Frankie in front of me.

  “Frankie! You left your house.”

  “I did.” He smiled.

  “Oh, you look amazing.” I said, vaguely recollecting the times I’d been up close and personal with him. “Do you know, I’ve actually missed you a little.”

  “And me you, just the tiniest bit you understand, not in that whole attachment disorder way.”

  “So what brings you to the agency if it’s not little old me?”

  “It’s about Lucy and her disastrous dates. I wondered if you’d help me with a little plan for in case her final date tonight goes awry?”

  “Take a seat and let me know what I can do.” I instructed him.

  When he left, his talking about the fish restaurant had made me hungry. That and talk of dates had brought Darius back to my mind. I needed to get myself back out there. I fired up the computer and looked at all the attractive males who had recently signed the contract while it included the ‘dummy date’ clause.

  Satisfied that I’d pulled up a hunky male who I’d have some fun with, I called to see if he was free.

  A husky voice answered the phone.

  “Hello.”

  “Jett?”

  “Yes?”

  “It’s Kim from Withernsea Supernaturals.”

  “Oh. Hi there. Everything okay?”

  “Yes, I just wanted to inform you that you’ve been randomly selected by the computer to attend a ‘dummy date’. Are you free his evening to meet with me at the seafood restaurant, Beached?”

  “Err, I’
m not entirely sure I can come into Withernsea. Could you possibly come out to Hogsthorpe?”

  I looked closer at his application and sure enough he was not a Withernsea resident. Trust me to chose someone not from here. I didn’t feel like travelling though.

  “Not on this occasion. Don’t forget it’s not a date, it’s more of a training exercise.”

  “Okay. I’ll chance it. It’s just I’m not very welcome there with a few folks from a time I’ve visited before.”

  “Oh, wear a hat and glasses.” I said, by this point willing to beg to get the man here. I needed a date, and he looked like he’d take my mind off current circumstances.

  A throaty chuckle came down the line. “Okay, I like dress up. Let’s do role play for our dummy date. I’m coming as Beast, so are you gonna be my beauty?”

  “We’ll see what miracles my makeup can perform.”

  We arranged to meet at 9pm and I ended the call.

  Fuck you, Darius Wild. Well, no, not fuck you. Oh for goodness’ sake body, stop with the damp pants and the tightening nipples just because I said Darius and fuck in the same sentence.

  I closed down the screen where the photo of Jett Conall, wolf, had been opened. What was that phrase again, ‘the best way to get over one is to get under another?’

  Either that or I was barking mad.

  Fifteen minutes later I was panicking, wondering if this was such a good idea. What was that about him not being welcome? What if he was a big, bad, wolf? I didn’t own a red coat, but I was now feeling very apprehensive.

  I tapped my finger on my desk. What should I do? Should I cancel the date?

  But that wouldn’t look good on the agency and he’s probably set off by now anyway.

  Congrats, Kim, on another spectacular fuck-up.

  My phone rang, and I hoped it was Jett cancelling.

  “What have you done?” Ebony’s voice screeched into my ear.

  “Is it my date? I knew it was a mistake. You warned me and I didn’t listen. I’m sorry, Ebony. I’ll cancel.” My words rushed out.

  “It’s too late. Whatever you’ve started cannot now be halted. The chain of events has linked together and will have to see itself through to its conclusion.”

  “What do you mean? What do you see? Ebony, tell me what I have to do?”

  “I don’t have that information. I already told you to be with the wolf and you discarded my advice like a knock-off Kylie Jenner lip-gloss. Now you will have to find your own path. Good luck, child.”

  And with that she hung up. Child? I was two years older than her. She didn’t half go weird when she was seeing things. Plus, yet again with the random stuff. She couldn’t tell me anything for certain. She was like a bloody weather forecaster. They told you what to watch out for, but you had to actually step outside to see what it was really like.

  I ran through to my colleague’s office.

  “Shelley.” I yelled.

  She startled at her computer. “Whatever is up? Has someone died?”

  “Only my brain cells. Please would you and Theo join me on a double date tonight?” I begged.

  If I’d started the Apocalypse, I needed the most powerful person in Withernsea with me.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lucy

  Frankie had gone out. He’d actually left the house. I should have celebrated with him but I wasn’t sure I liked it. He’d been in every night this last few days when I’d got back from my crap dates and kept me company. Now, as I started to get ready he wasn’t here. And he’d been dressed up.

  I sighed. He was completely comfortable in his new vamp skin now. Next he’d be dating and shacked up with some cute little female vampire and I’d be looking for a new place to live again. I noticed I was banging cupboard doors around. Keep calm, Lucy.

  I actually crossed my fingers about my date tonight. We were meeting at Beached where I hoped I was finally getting to eat from that seafood menu.

  I stood at the entrance. Tonight I’d dressed simply in a pair of black leggings, a black-and-white striped tunic top and a black leather jacket. Louboutin heeled black boots were tonight’s shoe of choice.

  After waiting about ten minutes I saw Henry from Red’s approach. It must be his night off.

  “Hey, Henry!” I shouted out. “Fancy seeing you here. Are you on a date too?”

  Then the penny dropped. My date was called Henry. My employee was my date. He was also human.

  Our faces both fell at the same time.

  “I can’t do this, Henry. You work for me.”

  “Yeah, I feel exactly the same. Do you still want to get a drink though?”

  Rubbing at my forehead, I sighed. “Truthfully? No. To be honest I’ve had a belly-full of dating this week. I just want to go home, grab a snack pack of Maltesers and watch Game of Thrones.”

  “I’m gonna give my mates a ring then. Look, please come and have one drink with me at the bar in Beached. I’ll look a right saddo standing there on my own.”

  I sighed. “Okay then. Only one though.”

  Walking inside, I was surprised to see Kim sitting at a booth with Shelley, Theo, and a guy who I could only make out had jet black shoulder length hair. Huh, so she managed to get herself a date. “Can you just excuse me a second?” I asked Henry as he waited to be served at the bar.

  I wandered over to my friends.

  “Well, at least you’ve managed to eat here. I’m keeping it on my bucket list, though I’m sure I’ll have kicked it before I ever end up seated here with an actual meal in front of me.”

  Kim’s brow’s creased. “Are you here on your own?”

  “No, Henry’s at the bar. We’re just having a quick drink. Only as one of my employees we don’t want to date. He’s waiting for his friends to arrive. So, I was just about to ring you to say another one hadn’t worked out.”

  Kim smiled, which wasn’t the expression I was expecting to be honest when I was telling her that her dating business had failed me.

  “Yeah, well, I was about to ring you in the next thirty minutes funnily enough to see how it was going. You see, since you applied at the agency, you’ve completely changed. You’re no longer the angry she-devil you were. So earlier today we had an extra client drop by and ask to be added to our database. I checked to see if he was a match for the new you, and well, who’d have believed it, but it brought you up as 96% compatible. So, you have another date should you wish to eat here tonight, Lucy. Your date is waiting at the back table, just over there.”

  I followed her finger to where a blonde-haired man sat looking more like his old worrying self than the confident man of the last few days.

  “Frankie?” I queried. “Frankie’s my match?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “But, he’s not interested in me. Going on a date with him would be weird.”

  “Lucy.” Kim raised an eyebrow. “What do you think you’ve been doing for the last few days?”

  And then it struck me. Every single date that had gone wrong, I’d gone home to Frankie. We’d watched movies, had takeaways. Basically we’d had in-house date nights.

  And I’d loved every single one. The truth was that as soon as the dates had gone spectacularly wrong, my first thoughts had been to go back to Frankie’s, knowing he’d be there to comfort and spoil me.

  I stared over at him and as if detecting my gaze he looked straight at me. I could see the apprehension in his eyes, but really there was no need. Completely forgetting I’d been talking to Kim at all I almost ran to the back table.

  I held out my hand. “Hello, you must be Frankie. I’m your date for the night, Lucy.”

  He clasped his hand in mine and it just felt right. His cold touch suited my extra devilish warmth.

  “May I say how beautiful you look this evening. Would you like to dine with me? I hear the food in this restaurant is remarkable.”

  “I really would.” I told him and sat down.

  And as I eventually got to sample the wonderful f
ood of the restaurant, I realised that the right man for me had been under my nose from the very beginning.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kim

  “Well, it looks like everything is going very well over there and you’ve brought another successful result to Withernsea dating.” Shelley clinked glasses with me.

  We’d had a very enjoyable evening. Jett was great company and extremely hot to look at. Hopefully I’d see if that hotness extended to the boudoir later.

  “I hope so. I have to say they look good together.” I replied peering over my shoulder. “They can’t take their eyes off each other, can they?”

  “I know how they feel,” Jett said, as his hazel gaze swept over me.

  I smiled, trying my best to look coy.

  Then the door to the restaurant crashed open and Darius strode down the aisle towards us; Sierra in tow.

  “I knew I could smell filth. What are you doing on my turf, mongrel?”

  Jett slowly wiped his mouth with a napkin.

  “Sorry, Kim. I told you I kind of wasn’t welcome around here.”

  “Damn straight. Get the fuck out of here before I rip you apart.” Darius growled, his eyes alighting on mine.

  Jett looked from Darius to me. “Oh. I see what’s going on here. Do you have designs on this human, pretty boy? And what does your date think about that? Let’s ask her, shall we?” He looked behind Darius.

  Jett’s eyes rolled. “Oh, it’s just the loyal best friend. How boring. I thought there could be some girl-on-girl action.”

  He stood up and threw five, ten pound notes on the table. “Thanks for a lovely evening, Kim, but I have to return to my own territory. Pack rules. However, I want to see you again, so I do believe, Mr Wild, that you and I will be having words at a later date, about my visiting privileges.” With that he strode out of the restaurant.

  Best friend? Sierra was his best friend? But they were dating. I didn’t understand.

  Darius sneered at me. “Cavorting with the enemy pack? You went too far this time, Kim. You’ve made your point that you’re not interested. I get it. We’re done. You can take my name off your books. I can find my own dates. Come on, Sierra, let’s go home.”