She opened her mouth to spew out some other inanity, but before she could, Matt spoke. “Hannah, do you want to dance?”
Her mouth now hung open in surprise. She hadn’t figured on that happening. A quick glance at Evan showed his lips in a firm line and his jaw bulging. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. Huh. He was jealous? They’d known each other for like five minutes. That seemed kind of ridiculous. Turning back to Matt she nodded. “Sure. Yeah.” Feeling bad for ditching Evan after he’d gotten her a drink twice now, she touched his forearm. “I’ll catch you after, okay?”
His face betrayed his frustration. “Whatever. Sure. Later.”
She didn’t have time to say more, because Matt’s arm slipped around her waist, and he led her onto the dance floor. When she glanced back over her shoulder, Evan had his back to her. Matt maneuvered her into the crowd, blocking Evan from view. When he turned her to face him, his hands fell to her hips, pulling her in close and demanding her attention.
They danced without speaking. Hannah had no words anyway, her feelings too jumbled to articulate, and the music too loud to talk over. Instead she lost herself in the feel of him close to her, his hands on her hips, the pulsing of the music, and his proximity taking her back to that summer they were together, dancing near the bonfire on the beach, the chilly night air making long sleeves mandatory even in the summer, the heat of Matt surrounding her, keeping the cold away with his body and his mouth, her own arousal ratcheting her body temperature higher so that she didn’t notice the wind blowing off the ocean or even the other people around her.
He pulled her closer, their legs tangling, grinding her into his pelvis as they moved. She looped her arms around his neck, the growl that she felt more than heard pulling her out of her memories and back to the present. Back to the reality that Matt was here, now, in front of her. A memory come to life. She shouldn’t be doing this. She shouldn’t be risking her heart all over again. Not when he’d already ghosted on her once. Even if she still harbored feelings for him, trusting him again would be a stupid idea.
Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Matt looked at her with concern and loosened his grip on her. She dropped her arms and stepped back, bumping into someone behind her. She barely heard the girl’s shout of, “Hey! Watch it!” Hannah turned and pushed her way through the crowd.
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fucker. She needed to get away. Because she was already in danger of doing the very thing she knew she needed to avoid—falling headfirst into it, into him, all over again.
Hannah pushed her way through the crowd, intent on escaping him. She’d felt so good against him that he hadn’t been able to stop the rumble of pleasure and want from bursting from his chest. For some reason that had scared her. She’d backed up, the look on her face startled, and now she was running away from him.
Shit. He pushed after her on instinct, the need to check on her and reassure her overpowering everything else. The crowd kept his long legs from eating up the distance between them until they got to the clear space near the door.
He caught her just as she pushed through the doorway, his fingers closing around the soft skin of her upper arm. “Hey. What’s going on? Why are you running away?”
Turning to face him, she shook her head. The bouncer at the door stepped forward to make sure everything was okay, and Matt let go of her, holding his hands up palms out.
She looked confused for a second before the bouncer spoke. “Everything okay?”
The panicky expression relaxed as she addressed the bouncer, but didn’t go away completely. “No. Yes. I mean, he’s fine. We know each other. I just, uh, I need some air. He’s fine, though. You don’t need to do anything.” Her sentences were quick and breathless, but the bouncer took her at her word with one more penetrating look at the both of them. He held the door open, and Hannah all but ran out, her shoes the only reason she didn’t move any faster.
Once outside, she moved away from the doorway and the clusters of people out front, down in front of the darkened windows of a storefront. She bent at the waist, taking deep heaving breaths.
He placed a hand on her back, rubbing a little. “Are you alright?”
Straightening, she wiped at her eyes. Shit. Was she crying? What the hell was she crying about? He’d never had a chick react like that from some grinding on the dance floor. Then she let out a bark of laughter. She was laughing now? He let his hand drop and stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets.
With a shake of her head, she finally looked at him. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” She waved a hand back toward the door they’d just exited. “I don’t even—I don’t know how to act right now.”
Matt grunted in response, his brain trying to decipher what was going on with her. “Look, is this because you’re an intern at my work? Because—”
He stopped talking at the vigorous shaking of her head. “No, that’s not why—” She cut off, her teeth sinking into her lower lip, and shook her head again. “That’s a good point, but that’s not what this is about.” She’d grown quieter now and seemed to be calming down from the hysteria that had overtaken her.
He took a step closer, a swell of hope in his chest. Did she remember him after all? “What’s it about, then?”
She shook her head again and didn’t answer. He reached out and ran a hand over her bare arm. It had been warmer today than the rest of the week, but it was still January, and she had goosebumps covering her exposed skin. She shivered, and he couldn’t help himself. He drew her close again and wrapped his arms around her, blocking the cold from reaching her with his own body as best he could, remembering how he’d done the same thing the first evening they’d spent together at the party on the beach. He used to hold her like this often that summer, and she fit against him so that he could rest his chin on top of her head. With her heels on he couldn’t do that, but she did lay her head on his shoulder, accepting his warmth and closeness.
He shifted a little, keenly aware of the fact that he’d been hard since they were dancing. While he’d pulled her close to grind his dick against her inside the club, now that seemed inappropriate, and he tried to keep her from pressing against him, not wanting to call her attention to it. He groaned when she moved to maintain contact, their thighs pressing against each other, his pelvis tight against her lower belly. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, her lips open in a silent gasp, and he couldn’t help himself. Again. He needed to know if she tasted the same as he remembered.
With a tilt of his head, his lips covered hers, and he breathed her in, her light citrusy smell tickling his nose and the faint taste of strawberries from her lip gloss on his tongue. She responded, pushing against him, her tongue sliding against his, and it just felt so … right. Like this was what he’d been looking for all along. Since she’d left at the end of that summer, he’d craved this feeling of rightness again, and been unable to find it anywhere.
The cold air slapped him in the face when she wrenched herself away. She stared at him with wide eyes, unblinking, her fingers over her lips, shaking her head. Running her hands over her face, he heard her muttering and couldn’t make it out.
He took a step toward her again, trying to figure out what she was saying, what was going on. Had she not felt what he had? Fuck. This was not going the way he wanted. “Hannah? What’s wrong?”
She dropped her hands to her sides and stared at him for a moment, giving another little shake of her head. “I can’t do this. Not again.”
“What? What do you mean not again?”
“Oh, God.” Her groan sent more blood racing to his dick—the same sound he remembered when he slid inside her the first time. And the time after. And every single time they were together that summer. But that wasn’t what was making her groan now. He gave himself a mental shake to keep his head in the present, because unless he could get this sorted out, there was no way he’d hear her groan in that context again.
“Hannah? Tell me what’s going on in your head.” He tried to sound calm
and collected, and he thought he succeeded pretty well. His breath caught in his chest while he waited for her answer. He thought he knew what she might say, but he wanted to be sure.
She pierced him with a look. This chick. It was like she wanted to take him apart and see inside his head, and she was the only one who even tried. Who had a chance of succeeding.
“Do you really not remember, Matt? Do you not remember that summer we were together?”
He stared at her in shock for a minute. She remembered? “Of course I remember. How could I not?”
She shook her head at him again. “On Monday you stared at me like you maybe recognized me and couldn’t place me. I figured you didn’t remember anything.”
He grunted. “I didn’t know what to do. I was in complete shock when I saw you, so I just got on with the meeting. You didn’t act like you recognized me, and it wasn’t exactly the best place to hash out our past.” He let his eyes wander over her, taking her in. Her hair shorter than when he’d known her before, her breasts and hips fuller, softer, more lush. “I like your hair like this. What are you even doing here? Weren’t you going to go to school somewhere else? UW, right?” He said it U-dub, like the locals.
She tilted her head, eyeing him, her expression and tone flat. “Yeah. I changed my mind.”
He nodded. “Yeah.” Did she change her mind because of him? If so, that made him feel like an even bigger jackass for the way he’d just stopped responding to her. “When did you recognize me?”
Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She closed it and looked away down the street, huffing out a laugh and shaking her head. “Immediately.”
“You covered it well.” It was a dumb comment, but he didn’t know what else to say.
“Yeah, well, it seemed like the best choice at the time.”
“I get that.”
She studied him, her arms wrapped around herself, her hands rubbing at the goosebumps on her bare shoulders. “So, what now?”
He tilted his head, reaching for her. “I wouldn’t mind a repeat of what we were just doing.”
She laughed again, a light chuckle coupled with a small head shake, but she allowed him to pull her closer and wrap his arms around her again. “We shouldn’t.”
“Why not? I enjoyed it. You seemed to like it too.” He knew they shouldn’t. He’d get in so much trouble at work if anyone found out. But he couldn’t help himself. That feeling of rightness that he’d just found again was too good to let go.
She stared up at him again, doubt in her eyes that he wanted to soothe away. As he rubbed his hands up and down her back, he reveled in the way she pressed against him and closed her eyes at the feel of it. When she let out another soft moan he couldn’t resist her anymore, and he took her lips in another kiss. A slow, languorous, torturous kiss. After an eternity or a heartbeat he pulled away, looking down into her green eyes, hazed with desire. “Let’s find somewhere warmer.”
Chapter Six
Hannah looked up into Matt’s face, the face that had haunted her dreams more often than she cared to admit. Up close like this, she could see the changes that had happened since she’d last seen him. He looked more serious now, less carefree than the boy she’d met three summers ago. And he hid his feelings better. He’d been pretty well-practiced at that already when they’d met, which she’d attributed it to growing up in a military family. His dad had been a career Coast Guard man, even though he’d been the harbormaster at the local port by the time she’d met Matt. Still, the man’s insistence on punctuality and schedules screamed military. There was no room for emotions when sailing through a storm, and life was nothing if not a storm, or that’s what she’d heard him tell Matt more than once in the short time they’d known each other.
Now Matt wanted to take her “somewhere warmer.” She could guess what that meant. His arms around her, the smell of his spicy cologne—different from what she remembered—and the taste of him still on her tongue made her forget what her objections were to spending time with him. She knew she shouldn’t, but for the life of her she couldn’t think why.
“I need to tell Elena I’m leaving. Let her know I’ll see her at home.”
His lips curved in a smile. “You still hang out with Elena?”
“Of course. She’s been my best friend since elementary school.”
He nodded. “Of course. So whose idea was it to come to Marycliff instead of UW?”
Shrugging, she looked away. “We decided together. We always said we were going to room together in college. We just switched our plan a little after looking more at Marycliff.” It had been her idea, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. How desperate would that make her look—changing schools after spending a summer with a random guy who didn’t even stay in touch? The fact that she’d decided to apply to Marycliff before he’d ghosted didn’t matter. Neither did the fact that she got a fantastic scholarship, or that the program here was as good if not better than UW, because the classes were smaller and she got more focused attention from her professors. Plus, the internship opportunities couldn’t be beat.
None of that mattered, though. Any explanation would sound defensive. There was no way of making it look less like the actions of a pathetic, lovesick teenager. And the truth was, she wouldn’t have ever looked at Marycliff if not for Matt.
A knowing smile pulled at his lips. She narrowed her eyes at him. “What? Marycliff is a good school. And the professor to student ratio is a lot better than at UW.”
“Mmhmm.” He nodded again. “I know it’s a good school. I graduated from there, after all. You don’t need to justify your decisions to me.”
Hannah stood up straighter. “You’re right. I don’t.”
When she started to pull away from him, he tightened his grip on her. “Hey. Where do you think you’re going?”
“Inside.” She tilted her head toward the door. “It’s freezing out here, and while you’re doing okay at keeping my upper body warm, I’m afraid my toes might get frostbite soon.” She actually hadn’t paid much attention to the temperature, but now that she brought it up, her bare legs were freezing and her shoes did nothing to protect her feet from the cold.
With a sigh, he dropped his arms from around her. “Right. Of course.” But instead of just letting her walk beside him like she expected, he laced his fingers through hers and tugged her toward the door. “I believe you mentioned needing to let Elena know that you’re leaving. So let’s do that. I need to let my roommates know too so they can take a cab. Then we can warm you up.”
The suggestive note to his voice on the last sentence made his meaning unmistakable, and an involuntary shiver passed through her in response. He smiled at her, but didn’t say anything. Stopping inside the door, he pulled her close. “Go find Elena. I’ll wait for you here. Don’t take too long.” He pressed a kiss to her stunned lips, breaking it off before she could gather her wits and kiss him back. As she moved away, she glanced back at him and saw him pull out his phone. That must be how he planned to communicate with his roommates.
Making a circuit around the edge of the dance floor and past the bar, she searched for Elena. She found her dancing in the midst of a group of guys, including a few of football players Matt had come with. As she got closer, she noticed Evan standing behind Elena, grinding against her. For acting as irritated as he’d been earlier, he sure got over it quickly.
He raised his head, locked eyes with her, and stopped moving, the expression on his face morphing to irritation. Okaay. Maybe not.
Elena glanced over her shoulder at him to see why he’d stopped dancing and followed his gaze to see Hannah on the edge of the dance floor. She nudged one or two of the guys out of her way and came over to give Hannah a hug.
“Hola, chica!” She shouted to make herself heard over the music. “You’ve been resting for a long time. Come dance!” She pulled on Hannah’s hand, trying to lead her over to the guys she’d been dancing with, who were all watching them, some with avid expressions,
though Evan looked sullen.
Resisting Elena’s pull, Hannah shook her head. “I stopped resting a while ago. I bumped into someone.”
Elena dropped Hannah’s hand and clapped. “Oooh! A guy! Please tell me it was a hot guy and not a professor or some chick from one of your classes.”
Hannah laughed. “Yes, it was a hot guy. I’m, um, going to hang out with him somewhere quieter.”
Sidling closer, Elena nudged Hannah with an elbow. “Really? Details. What’s his name, where are you going, what are you going to be doing?”
“Just talking probably, I’m not sure, and his name is …” Hannah trailed off, not sure how Elena would react if she told her she was leaving with Matt.
“You don’t remember? Somehow I doubt you’ve done much talking then, and I wouldn’t expect you to do more if you’re leaving with him.” She stood still and studied Hannah’s face. “You have your phone still? Right? So you can call for help if you need to?”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “I won’t need to call for help. It’s someone I know already. And yes, I still have my phone in the thigh holster thing you bought me for Christmas for when we go clubbing. I’m assuming you’re wearing yours too?”
Elena laughed again. “Of course! I got a fun moment earlier when someone tried calling me.”
Hannah laughed with her. “Did you answer?”
“Hell no! I just enjoyed it while it lasted. I almost gave some guy my number just to have him call me a few more times and finish the job, but decided that might be too forward.” She laughed some more, then grew serious. “Okay, so you know the guy you’re leaving with and feel comfortable with him, so that’s good. Any reason you won’t tell me his name?” She arched one well-manicured brow.
Hannah sighed. “It’s Matt.”
It was a good thing Elena wasn’t drinking anything right then, because her reaction would totally have been a spit-take. “Excuse me, what?” Shaking her head, she started muttering to herself in Spanish. “Chica, we came here tonight to find you someone else. The point was to get you a guy so you wouldn’t get caught up with him again.”
Managed Hearts Page 5