The Years After (Sister #5)

by Leanne Davis

  The room fell in complete silence. Then Christina nearly whooped out loud as she suddenly rushed to Lindsey and threw her arms around her. “Do you mean it?”

  Lindsey saw Max and met Derek’s gaze over Christina’s short head. “We mean it. If you’re interested.”

  Max shrugged and his face grew pink as he dropped his head down. “I don’t know.”

  Of course, he didn’t know. No one had ever wanted him, just as they hadn’t wanted Derek. Not their own parents. That they shared the same parents was still debatable. Other than both of them sharing the coloring of their mother, there was no real guarantee they had the same father. Still… they were offering Max a home? Derek’s heart lifted and dropped. It was good. Great. Unbelievable. But a weird stab cramped his stomach. Jealousy? Was he jealous? That seemed impossible. But maybe he was. Could anyone be lower than him? Being jealous of his brother, who was only thirteen, because he was offered a real home and therefore, a real chance in life?

  Will cleared his throat. “Come on, Tiny, let’s go. They need some privacy now.”

  She pushed back from Lindsey’s chest as she dried her eyes. “This is epic, Aunt Lindsey!” She rushed over to Max and threw her arms around him. He stood there like a frozen statue. He really hated to be touched. Other than getting hit, Derek never witnessed anyone touching Max. Christina was tiny for her age, and about the only thing that could make Max seem big. He was even smaller than Derek was at thirteen. He kept his arms straight by his sides and didn’t respond. But Christina didn’t care. She leaned back, smiled shyly and then turned and went over to her dad to leave.

  Derek stared after them before turning back to Noah and Lindsey. They were both sharing some kind of coded eyelock. Noah finally nodded and cleared his throat. “Why don’t we all sit down?”

  So civil, it was odd. They always just talked. They asked questions. They were… completely reasonable. There was nothing odd, or hard to follow. If anyone ever talked to Derek, it was in drunken, high rants that made no sense. He remembered the litany of mean words. Taunting. Jeering. Freaking. Crying. Not… talking. Conversation. Communication.

  Max, of course, was the least likely to ever converse. Derek sat at the kitchen table when Noah indicated he do so. So did Max finally.

  Lindsey sat next to Noah and took his hand in a discreet hold just beneath the table where they continued to squeeze each other’s hands. Derek glanced at the simple, sweet gesture and then up into her eyes. Was that healthy? Was that what he’d been trying, albeit totally incompetently, to have with Olivia?

  Derek leaned forward on his elbow. “Did Will say something about the senate race?”

  Lindsey ducked her head and a small smile brightened her face. “Yes. I was going to run starting this fall, for the following year.”

  “And with one sentence, some maniac, teeny-bopper threw out, you decided not to run for one of the most powerful positions in the country?”

  “No. We’ve talked about it. We talked before you and Christina so eloquently asked. She has a huge heart, and I think she’s taken you into hers, Max.”

  Max just shrugged. His gaze went straight down to the table top. Derek didn’t believe them. His tone was rude when he started again. “You don’t just decide to not run for the senate.”

  Lindsey sighed and rested her hands on the table before her. This time, she dropped her eyes to a wayward fingernail, and began picking the polish on her nail. “So remember that scar we talked about? And how I got it?”

  Noah’s eyebrows lifted in obvious surprise. Max didn’t react. Derek glanced from her to Noah. “Yeah. I remember.”

  “He was the governor of the state of Virginia. He was shot down and killed shortly after getting elected.” Holy crap. Did she kill him? Derek sat up straighter, and she noticed. She lifted her hands up and shook her head, “Not by me. I swear. Anyway, he died before he thought to change his will, so I got his fortune. It was and still is, a lot. It allows me to do things I could have never done before. I intended to run for senator mostly, I think, to snub him and slap him in the face. He was only the governor and would have rolled over in his grave if I ever attained a more powerful position than he. I mean, I was doing it for more than the usual reasons: you know, to make a difference, draw national focus to domestic violence, etc. Those reasons are noble, but a huge part of my motivation was to prove, once and for all, he could not break me or ruin me. Because for so long, I let him.”

  “The ultimate revenge,” Derek muttered, feeling seriously impressed with Lindsey. She was kind of stately and grand, with nice manners and an even nicer demeanor. But he didn’t see a trace of the mean streak. It made him finally smile. “I like it.”

  She shrugged. “We’ve been talking, and really, that wasn’t my lifelong ambition. It was something I could do. I had the money, thanks to my ex. I had the experience from running this town. I did some good here, I think. I wanted to expand that. I was at a point where I didn’t know what I wanted next. But… this seems important too.”

  Derek glanced at Max and nodded. His stomach tightened. Important. If Max or he were important to anyone, especially adults, it felt weird and untrustworthy. “You would give up being a senator for one kid?”

  “Two kids.”

  Derek glared at her. “How do you figure?”

  “You’re nineteen. I know. And in no need of a guardian. But I’ve never in my life met two boys who needed the structure and love of a family more than you two do. And you need it together. If this is Max’s home, it will always be yours too, Derek. You’re brothers first.”

  He shoved back from the table and crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want?”

  They glanced at each other and then at him. “What do you mean, what do we want?”

  “What do you want? People don’t just take in kids like us. People don’t give up their plans for, for—”

  “You. Yes, they do and they can. We can. We want to. We don’t want anything from either of you. I was never ready to have kids. But you’re here now, and suddenly I’m ready to. Go figure. I know it can’t be instant. But it can happen over time. Max? What do you think?”

  He shrugged and kept his head down as he said, “O-kay. If you want to.”

  Derek’s heart simply melted. Max wanted this, but was too afraid to let himself believe them. As was Derek. But there were no other options out there. Just this last Hail Mary pass, a chance to have something besides the hopeless dysfunction from which they were born. This was their chance to have a real family.

  Lindsey sat up straight. “I want to.”

  Noah, this time, leaned across the table and set his hand on Max’s shoulder. Max flinched as if Noah hit him. “He doesn’t like to be touched,” Derek said, sharing a look with Noah.

  He withdrew his hand and Max relaxed a half an inch. “That’s just fine. And I want to too.”

  “It will take some time and there are some legalities to wade through. We’ll get married, so that will make the process a little cleaner. So thank you, Max. You finally got Lindsey to do what I could never achieve.” Noah flashed a smile. Max lifted his head and Lindsey shrugged it off with a self-conscious smile. “Stupid hang-ups about being a wife after…”

  Derek nodded. “I didn’t realize other people were as fuc—I mean, as screwed up as me.”

  Lindsey let out a laugh. “Yes. I was and can be.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She leaned across and held Noah’s hand. “Derek, we have been a couple as committed and in love as any married couple you’ll ever meet. It’s lasted for thirteen years. So yes, I’m sure. It’s time. I just never had a compelling reason until now.”

  “So we’ll need to go find your mother.”

  “I can find her.” Derek didn’t elaborate when Noah glanced across at him.

  “Actually, I’m going to come with you. I think it’s time we found a few members of your family, Derek. We’ve been talking to Tony and he agrees with us. But to do so, we
need your help. The police can’t find Quentrell. They need your contacts and whatever you know about his operations. Will you do it? Will you help us figure out how to catch him so we can make all of you safe?

  His stomach knotted. Quentrell. They wanted to find him. He didn’t do that. He didn’t confront his brother. The thought of seeing his brother again left him nearly shaking. His first instinct was to say no. Run. Fuck it. He’ll hurt you. He’ll kill you. He’ll end it all just as he did to so many others right in front of him. But… they could finally end it. He’d never had help before. The help of two fully grown men. He didn’t know what to do with that revelation.

  “I can try. There might be no way to find him. And usually no way to prove it.”

  “He drugged and kidnapped a well known, popular college freshman at a very popular party. There are plenty of witnesses already lined up to identify him as a suspect, if they can just bring in the suspect. He can’t get away with that. You’re not alone this time, Derek.”

  He pushed his knuckles into his eyes. Was he going to cry? He didn’t know. He just felt all weird and something choked his throat. He was shocked when Lindsey came around. She lifted him from the chair and hugged him to her. He, oddly enough, let her.

  When he eventually flopped back into the chair, he was embarrassed for his wussy emotions. He wondered if he still sported a pair of balls.

  Lindsey cleared her throat. “Okay, now that’s settled, there is this issue of fight clubs…”

  Derek’s head started to spin. The dizzying circles soon became a tunnel-like effect and he heard Lindsey scolding Max while Noah interjected something about what they expected in the future from him. Scolding. They were scolding his brother. He glanced at Max who looked up at him and again shrugged, but his eyes were big, like, what the hell? They’d never, ever, not in either of their lives been scolded or told how to behave. There was never even one expectation they had to fulfill, and therefore, no motivation to try and reach higher, or do the right thing. Noah and Lindsey didn’t like the fights, but they were so, uncannily understanding about it. They wanted Max to stop so they started talking about things like finding other healthier ways for Max to channel his anger. They kept reiterating that he no longer needed to fight for money anymore. They begged Max to talk to them, and promised they’d help him. Derek had no idea what to think. Talk to them? Just talk to them and they would help him? It was as foreign a concept and experience as jumping out of a helicopter, or trying to perform brain surgery. He knew nothing about it and had never even witnessed other people doing it.

  When Derek went up to his room, the clean, decent, safe room after spending a day doing honest labor and talking to people around him, he didn’t have a clue how they got there.

  Most of all, he wondered when it would end. He always believed his life would end either at Quentrell’s behest, or in jail. He couldn’t even fathom actually having help to go up against Quentrell. He couldn’t imagine he wasn’t going to be living that life anymore. He could not picture his life not ending on Quentrell’s say-so. In his gut, he always believed that would be his demise.

  Chapter Twenty

  IT WASN’T LONG ENOUGH. Six months wasn’t nearly long enough. Derek was coming back to town, back to her house, and it hadn’t been nearly long enough for her to handle. Yet, there was no other real choice. Will and Noah were bringing him there. They didn’t trust him being left on his own, especially when the general consensus was, he’d run. And in some ways, the anger in her chest wanted to exclaim, “Let him. Who cares what happens to him? He’d deserve it.” But then, the other side, the sad side, the side that ached and burned for his misery and for what he ended up being didn’t want him hurt anymore than he already had been.

  Then there was Quentrell. She was not totally safe until he was caught. Everyone wanted Quentrell caught. Her parents walked the floors at night, talking about it. They kept pestering the local police. What they needed was Derek’s knowledge of Quentrell and his enterprise. And thus, Derek returned to Olivia’s life. He came right back into her house.

  Her parents stood on each side of her when they got there. She watched the three men get out of Will’s truck and walk up to her front door. Derek’s head was down, and his dark hair fell over his forehead. His shoulders were slumped under his t-shirt. He glanced around. His body language perfectly conveyed his dread at being at her door. Tony opened it and he greeted his friends, Noah and Will, before stepping forward and slapping Derek on the shoulder. “Hey, kid. How’s it going?”

  Derek glanced up at him and his expression made Olivia’s stomach twist. Disbelief. It was the same unsure expression of disbelief that he displayed when he stayed with them over Christmas. He was in so many ways like a little toddler, trying to make sense of an entirely new and foreign situation. She now had a clearer picture of all the things Derek’s young life lacked. Right down to the normal hellos and goodbyes between sane people.

  What she also observed was his unending need for Tony’s approval. Of everyone, including her, only Tony was the one Derek most desperately sought to please. She hated how much he needed her dad. But she loved knowing her dad could see past what Derek was. He could help someone who needed more than anyone she’d ever known. In her saner, more mature moments, Olivia believed and understood that. In her pettier ones, she just hated him and wished he were gone from her life and the lives of those she loved.

  Her mom’s hand was still holding hers. She squeezed tightly in heartfelt unity.

  Will kind of shoulder knocked Derek as if to communicate, speak.

  “I’m… okay.”

  He lifted his head as he replied and his gaze met hers. The tension in the room was thick and uncomfortable for everyone. Noah walked further into the room and came over to her mom, grasping her in a friendly hug and easily exchanged pleasantries, all the while she and Derek stared at each other. His expression was miserable. His hands were buried deep in his pockets. Tony and Will were talking and Tony approached her and dropped his head down, making her raise her eyes to meet his. “You okay? You want to go upstairs?”

  She squeezed the hand he set on her arm and took courage from him. He always put her first. She smiled and shook her head no. No, she started this all. She brought Derek into their lives, and she fell in love with him. She chose to ignore all the signs that were right there. Right in front of her. All for her to see. But her young, love-addled brain refused to see the signs.

  Derek came near her and stood a few feet away. “Hi, Olivia.”

  His tone was resigned and subdued. “Hi.” She was well aware both her parents and long time family friends were watching them closely.

  “Why don’t we all sit down?”

  Will nodded at Noah and they motioned they were going into the kitchen. Olivia appreciated that. This was hard enough in front of just her parents.

  Gretchen herded them all towards the living room and suggested they take a seat. Derek chose a recliner and sat forward with his elbows on his knees. His left leg shook up and down in a nervous jiggle. He kept his hands before him, rubbing them absently together.

  “How are you, Derek? Really?”

  He shrugged. “Been working, for real. That’s been good.”

  Gretchen cleared her throat. “How are the panic attacks? Any better?”

  He swallowed and rubbed his hand over his face. He kept his gaze low and stared hard at the carpet. “Yeah. A little. I guess.” Clearing his throat, he finally made eye contact with her, and then swiftly shifted it to her dad. “You think Olivia’s still in danger?”

  “Yes. I won’t take any chances. She won’t go back to school until we’re sure this predator is caught and punished.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. “You can’t go back to Peterson?”

  “I don’t want to go back anyway,” she snapped, her eyes flashing with fierce anger.

  “I really did ruin your life, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, you really did.”

>   She refused to sugar coat it.

  Derek nodded and took in a deep breath. “What can I do? I’ll tell you everything I know about Quentrell and his associates. I know most of the places he would go to hide. I don’t know if he’d think for a second I would help anyone find him. He’s obviously figured out Max and I disappeared. But I highly doubt he’d ever think that I’d come back for him. I’ve done nothing but let him run my entire life. I’m the biggest wuss you ever met. It amused Quentrell no end. So he wouldn’t expect me, or anyone else really, to come after him.”

  “Surviving doesn’t always denote a lack of courage. Picking the right battles is smart.”

  “I think—well, after we get Quentrell, I think I should turn myself in. You know? For my dad’s murder. For the drugs. For everything I’ve done. I need to be punished. I need to make some kind of atonement before I can ever really stop being this way.”

  Her breath caught in her throat as her heart thumped hard in her chest. It was not even thirty seconds of conversation, yet it would change the entire course of everything. It was huge. It was magnificent. What he was proposing was life changing.

  She had no idea what to say. She stared at him with her mouth open. No. No, really no! That’s all her brain felt like screaming. He might have done those things, and lied and hurt her and the people around him, but there was so much more to it. It wasn’t black or white and right or wrong for her.

  She caught her dad’s gaze. Her face had to show her horror and confusion. Her mouth was set in tight line of uncertainty. She shook her head. She really had no idea what to do.

  “I appreciate that, Derek. I do. That’s not how you were even six months ago. But… I’m not giving you back the gun.”

  Tony kept the gun he’d taken from Derek that night. It sat harmlessly in a safety deposit box. It was a murder weapon, but not one of them thought it was murder. He was eight years old. He never meant to do it. He couldn’t be a murderer since he was just a child, and one under siege.