“Come here.” Beth let go of Nora’s hand, shifting on the sofa and pulling her niece in close. They sat there for a few minutes, just holding each other, before Beth kissed Nora on the top of the head and whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The next breath that Beth pushed out from her lungs released a little bit of her tension and worry…but it wasn’t enough to take all of it away.
* * *
Tripp had been a firefighter for thirteen years, six of which had been in the Air Force, and two spent in a war. Yet, nothing, nothing had ever terrified him more than learning that it was Nora in that smashed-in Jeep.
And when he’d seen her, hurt and scared? It had taken everything in him to remain calm and not lose it. There was also the fact that he’d wanted to beat the crap out of the asshole behind the wheel.
Once he’d really looked at how the Jeep had crashed, he knew that Brick was to blame. Knew it wasn’t an accident, just sheer stupidity. Carelessness. And if there was anything that anyone should not be with Nora, it was careless.
He’d never get the images out of his head. They were burned into his brain, right next to the ones of Beth. Her walking panic-stricken into the ER waiting room, her sobbing in his arms, her not believing it wasn’t her fault.
After finishing up the report that night, he’d lingered at his desk, going over the evening again to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Duke had come to the firehouse, too, and he hadn’t left Tripp’s side for a second, resting his big shaggy head on Tripp’s thigh.
They’d gotten home well after midnight. The house had been lonely and quiet. Since the kids had gotten back from their Spring break two weeks ago, he hadn’t really spent too much time there. Just stopped over to change his clothes, really.
He slept like shit without Beth beside him.
There hadn’t been a prayer of him getting anything close to adequate rest. Four straight weeks of sharing a bed with Beth had permanently changed him. Not just because of the sleeping arrangements, but because of everything. There was no going back and he damn well knew it.
When his alarm went off at seven, he was beyond exhausted. He knew he was going to need cups and cups of coffee to get through the day ahead. After hanging out with Duke outside for a bit, and after finishing that first cup of coffee, he’d gone back in to get dressed. He’d wanted to go next door and check on everyone before heading out, but he didn’t want to wake up Beth or the kids. Just because he’d slept like shit didn’t mean she had. They all needed some rest. He’d just have to call her at a more reasonable hour.
He brought Duke with him to the station, not wanting to leave the guy by himself all day. Beth and the kids had enough to contend with without adding Duke to the mix. And he knew that Wallace was going to be coming over for a conversation of his own. It would be a crowded house…
Though there was something in the back of his mind that kept telling him he should be a part of that crowd.
He’d been around for a couple of months now, been a part of their lives, but there was a huge difference between what happened on a normal day and what had happened the night before. He was fully aware of that fact.
There was no doubt in his mind that he needed to make it perfectly clear to Beth that he was in this for the long haul. It was a conversation he was going to need to have once all of this calmed down.
* * *
Tripp talked to Beth just a little bit that day, a handful of text messages and a very short phone call during lunch. She told him she was feeling better than the night before and that Nora was doing okay; in pain, but okay. She also told him to stop worrying and to focus on the training.
That had been easier said than done.
Everything was finished up at the firehouse around five, and as he and Duke headed out to his truck, he pulled out his phone to call Beth. He needed to stop by the store and get dog food—there was only enough left for Duke’s dinner and breakfast—and he wanted to know if she needed anything while he was there.
She didn’t answer, and his call went over to voicemail. He left a quick message and hung up, putting his phone in his pocket before letting Duke into the back, and then climbing into the driver’s seat.
When he pulled into the parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly—Mirabelle’s one and only grocery store—Beth’s SUV was already parked in a spot. He found an empty space a row over. It was a cool night, and he rolled down all four of the windows just enough for Duke to stick his snout out and catch the breeze.
He found her in the juice aisle, stretching up in an attempt to grab a bottle that was pushed back on the top shelf. The back of her shirt had pulled up, exposing a strip of skin. In four strides he was right behind her.
“Need a little help?” he asked as he reached over her shoulder for the bottle.
“Oh!” She gasped, startled as she spun around and fell into his chest. He caught her, his free hand going to her waist to steady her. “Tripp,” she breathed his name as she regained her footing.
He looked down into her face, immediately noticing her tired blue eyes and the dark circles beneath them. Every part of her looked weary.
“I thought you were going to call me to tell me if you needed anything,” He let go of her before leaning to the side and putting the bottle of juice in her shopping cart.
“Dad came over so I figured I’d give him some time with Nora. Besides, I needed to get food and figure out dinner.”
“I would’ve taken care of dinner.”
“Tripp, you were busy today. You had stuff to do. I can handle it.”
“I know that, Beth, but I want to—”
But he was cut off as a hatred-filled voice pretty much started screaming behind him. “I can’t believe you have the gall to show your face in public!”
As his eyes were on Beth, he noticed how her expression changed from surprise and then almost immediately to anger. He turned around and came face to face with Kitty Mason.
The woman was wearing a designer suit, a cloud of perfume, and an expression that had probably made many people cower.
Tripp wasn’t even remotely intimidated.
“And you”—Kitty reached up and poked Tripp’s chest with her finger—“are just as bad.”
“Mrs. Mason, I suggest you take a step back,” he said calmly, fully aware of the people in the aisle around them that were turning to stare.
“Or what?” She raised her voice, poking him in the chest again. “You don’t scare me.”
“I’m not trying to scare you.” He held his hands up, palms out. “But you need to take a step back.”
“I will not!” She shouted before her focus moved to Beth. “You need to get that niece of yours under control! She put my son at risk last night! That accident was her fault. He’s a good child, a role model to be looked up to, and I will not have him getting distracted because your niece likes to spread her legs like you do!”
An anger unlike anything Tripp had ever known started coursing through his veins. But before he could say anything Beth was the one now screaming.
“Are you kidding me? Your model son tried to force himself on my niece, and when she said no, he took it out on her by driving like a freaking lunatic and getting in a car accident. Your son put my niece in danger when he drove recklessly. She broke her wrist because of him!”
And just that fast Tripp was angrier than he’d been a moment before. “What?” He asked, turning to look at Beth. She glanced at him for only a second, a palpable pain in her expression over what she’d just revealed.
“You’re a liar,” Kitty hissed out.
Beth pulled her eyes from Tripp and looked back at Kitty. “I’m not. But you’re lucky I’m not suing you for medical expenses or pressing charges for attempted sexual assault. If I see him anywhere close to her, I’m going to call the sheriff’s department faster than you can blink.” She grabbed her purse from the half-filled shopping cart, leaving it in the aisle before walking away.
<
br /> Kitty stared after Beth’s retreating form, daggers in her eyes. Tripp slid in front of the woman, blocking her view. Her eyes widened in surprise at his menacing expression.
“Kitty, understand this. If your son ever comes near Nora or Beth—or Penny or Grant, for that matter—he’s going to have to deal with much more than the sheriff’s department. Same goes for you.”
She bristled at his words. “Is that a threat?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It’s a promise.” And with that he turned around and followed Beth out of the store.
Once he got to the parking lot, he had to jog to catch up to her. She made a beeline for her SUV and as she rounded it, she put her hand on the side of the vehicle for balance.
“Beth?”
“Just give me a second.”
The emotion in her voice was at that level where he knew how hard she was trying to not break down in the middle of the Piggly Wiggly parking lot. It was a minute or two before she got a handle on herself and was able to speak.
“I can’t believe I just said that.” She slowly turned to look at him, her hands shaking. “Oh God. Why did I say all of that?”
“Beth.” He reached out for her but she shook her head, taking a step back.
“Don’t touch me.”
Those three words were a blow to the center of his chest and for just a second he couldn’t breathe, let alone speak.
“It’s just that every time you touch me, or comfort me, I feel like I’m going to lose it. Like I can’t hold anything together, and I can’t deal with that right now. I’m sorry.” Her voice broke as she said that last word. “I know you don’t understand it. I just can’t deal with this. Not right now.”
“This?”
“Us.”
What the fuck does that mean? It took everything in him not to ask that question out loud. But somehow—he wasn’t sure as to the how—he stood there not saying a word. There was something unsettling in her expression, the same damn thing he’d seen in her eyes last night when he’d told her it wasn’t her fault…and she hadn’t believed him.
“I don’t know how to do this, Tripp. I was failing at being a mom before you, and now I’m failing even more. Nora started sneaking around with that stupid jerk when we started seeing each other.”
“So it’s my fault?”
“No; you don’t get it. It’s my fault. I missed what was going on. This whole thing is entirely on me, and I brought you into it.”
“And what? Now you want to take me out of it.”
“It isn’t about what I want. It’s about what’s best for the kids.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and he desperately wanted to reach forward and comfort her. The pain in her eyes was breaking him in half and there was nothing he could do. Nothing.
Every time you touch me, or comfort me, I feel like I’m going to lose it. Well, he felt like he was going to lose it because he couldn’t touch her.
“And you think ending this might be part of the answer? Are you really going to tell me you think I’ve had a negative impact on the kids’ lives?”
“No. I don’t think that at all.”
“Then why are you making this into an either/or thing? It doesn’t have to be either the kids, or me. You can have both and you don’t have to do it alone. Beth, I want to do this with you. From here on out. I want this life with you, with the kids.”
“Tripp, it’s been two months.”
“And?”
“And two months isn’t enough time to figure that out.”
“It was for me. You’ve been it for me since the day you were banging on my front door covered in mud. I love you, Beth.”
“Sometimes love isn’t enough.” Her words were barely a whisper, but he heard her loud and clear.
She might as well have slapped him.
How was it that less than twelve hours ago he’d been thinking there was no going back with her? No going back with the kids? No going back with any of it? But that wasn’t the case. This whole conversation was the very last thing he’d expected.
He’d never been this blindsided before. It hurt like hell.
“Did you really just tell me that my love for you isn’t enough?”
“Tripp, that wasn’t what I meant.” She reached up and wiped at her eyes, but fresh tears just filled them again a second later.
“Then what did you mean?”
“Love doesn’t fix everything, and I need time to figure this all out.”
“Time? I thought we’d already figured this out. Figured us out. Obviously I was wrong.” His instincts screamed at him as he took a step back. He shouldn’t be putting more space between them. They were miles and miles apart already. “You’re right, Beth. Love isn’t always enough.”
And as he stood there he had no idea what else to say or do. What would be enough? What would be enough for her to realize he wasn’t going anywhere? Not knowing the answer to fix it was beyond painful.
What was he supposed to do? He was standing in the middle of a burning house, watching the walls catch fire around him. And he had no idea how to stop it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sound of Your Heart
Beth hadn’t thought it was possible to feel worse than she did on Sunday morning. Well, when she woke up on Monday she found out just how possible it was.
She’d gotten even less sleep Sunday night. Not all that surprising; every time she closed her eyes all she could see was that hurt look on Tripp’s face, and how every single one of his features had hardened.
And apparently she was a masochist because for the second day in a row, she started out by listening to him playing fetch with Duke next door, not saying a damn word.
Once the kids were off to school, she’d gotten dressed and headed out the door to work, unable to keep her eyes from drifting over to Tripp’s truck parked in his driveway.
“Nora doing okay?” Denise asked when Beth walked into the office.
Denise had called the day before—another one of her many friends who’d asked if she needed anything. But the only person Beth had actually accepted help from was her dad.
“Yes.” Beth nodded. “Her wrist is still pretty swollen, but the pain meds are helping.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“I heard you had an eventful weekend,” Vanessa said a moment later as she came in, cup of coffee in hand. “Everyone’s talking about how upset Tripp got.”
“After the accident?” Denise asked. “Well, of course he was upset. He was the one who got Nora out. Beau said he’s never seen Tripp almost lose his control in an emergency before.”
“No, not that.” Vanessa shook her head. “They’re talking about what happened at the Piggly Wiggly with Kitty Mason.”
“What happened with Kitty?” Denise looked to Beth.
“I don’t want to talk about it, actually. I really, really don’t want to talk about any of this.” And with that Beth turned around and headed down the hallway.
* * *
Tripp had never really been one to sit around and wallow in his own misery. And damn, was he fucking miserable.
He was more of a distraction is the best policy kind of a guy. The problem was there wasn’t a distraction big enough to take his mind off of everything that had happened in the last two days. After their conversation—or whatever the hell it had been—in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot, he didn’t have a clue where he and Beth stood.
It was killing him.
He’d been dating since he was thirteen years old, and there’d been a number of women he’d cared about in those years, but none like Beth. Not even close. Being with her had shown him the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
The second night without her next to him was even worse than the first. And that second morning it had taken him absolutely no time at all to realize he couldn’t stay in the house. He was already itching to get out, and maybe, possibly, needed to have a conversation with someone other than hi
s dog.
So he called Bennett and asked if his friend needed any help on the current construction project going on. Bennett and Mel lived in a small two-bedroom/one-bath house that Mel had inherited from her grandmother. It was now in the process of being turned into a three-bedroom/two-bath house, the add-on being a master bedroom with a pretty elaborate bathroom.
Mel and Bennett’s dog, Teddy, was a chocolate lab who was always up for some canine companionship, so Tripp brought Duke with him. He was pretty sure his dog didn’t want to be cooped up in the house, either, lonely place that it was.
“How is Nora doing?” Bennett asked when Tripp got there.
More than a sharp pang radiated through his chest, because he didn’t really know the answer to that question. “Better than Saturday, but she’s pretty sore from the accident.” He repeated what Beth had told him the day before.
“You all right?” Bennett asked, really looking Tripp over.
“Long weekend. I’m fine. So what do you want me to do?” Preferably it would be a job demolishing something. That would be a great way to spend his day.
So when Bennett handed him a sledgehammer, he was overjoyed.
Well, as much as he was capable of being overjoyed…which wasn’t a whole hell of a lot.
* * *
The traffic at the doctor’s office was pretty steady throughout the morning, so there weren’t any opportunities for Beth to get pulled into a conversation with Denise or Vanessa. But patients were a different story.
Most of the questions she got were out of concern, but there were a number of people that just wanted good gossip.
You know I never liked that Kittredge Mason. She thinks just because she put her clothes back on that she’s better than everyone else.
I can’t believe it was Brick behind the wheel. He’s such a good kid. Are you sure Nora wasn’t distracting him while he was driving?
You should keep a better eye on her. You know how kids like to run around and get in trouble. At least her hair isn’t that god-awful blue anymore.
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