by Sharon McKay
Bell’s handwriting was feathery, the letters round and bold. Pax read: “Paxton John, three to four months, was discovered in a garbage dump. He was found by a rag-picker and arrived with multiple sores, weighing approximately . . .”
Pax stopped reading. Bell had lied to him. He had not been given away by a loving mother to a good home where he would get an education. He had not even been simply abandoned. He had been thrown out, like garbage. Left to die. He felt a blow to his chest, like a punch. He took deep breaths, one after another, clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes tight, tighter. Urgency pushed him on. He opened his eyes and sifted through the papers one more time.
Kai’s name was not there.
Pax reached for the second envelope. His hand trembled. Inside was another official form, with the name of another school, followed by Kai’s name. Pax looked down at Bell’s body. Her last act on earth had been to betray him. She would have separated them.
Pax acted suddenly. He tore the form that had Kai’s name on it into tiny bits. Then he took his own pages from the other envelope and tore them into pieces. He stood at the window and scattered them all in the ditch below. They mingled and floated on the water’s surface like little stars.
“I beat you, Bell,” he muttered. Now, neither he nor Kai existed.
Word of Bell’s death spread through the slum like fire; Ol’ May, the neighbor, saw to it. The police came. A doctor came. The doctor looked at the pill bottle. Everyone paid special attention because Bell was a foreigner. They didn’t want any trouble with foreign governments. “Cancer medication.” The doctor tucked the bottle into his pocket. Men wearing paper masks put Bell into a black zippered bag and carried her away. All this happened quickly. A body left too long in the heat would turn sour quickly. And then disease would come. All the children knew that.
“What will happen to her . . . to her body?” Pax asked a man wearing a mask and holding a clipboard.
The man shrugged. “What does it matter? She is a foreigner. Maybe she will go back to where she belongs.”
Once their job was done, the workers left.
“What do we do now, Pax?” whispered Mega. The children huddled in the middle of the pink room.
“I am thinking,” said Pax.
Mega sobbed. Kai clung to Pax’s leg. Snot ran out of Bhima’s nose, and he smeared it across his cheek with his fist. Bambang was stone silent. The twins looked off into the distance with wet eyes.
Eventually they dragged themselves up and did a few chores. Bhima swept the porch while Bambang shook the dust out of a small rug. Mega picked the ants out of the rice and Pax cooked it up. The children gathered around and ate out of a communal bowl in silence. When they were done, Pax spoke.
“I will finish the roof. The rains are coming. Kai, do as Mega says. The rest of you, go and wash.”
Pax climbed up on the roof. He needed to be alone. He was not very high up, but on the roof the air seemed to smell better. The sun seemed closer and the birds friendlier. Here he could think—usually.
In one hand Pax held the nails and in the other hand a hammer, although he had no intention of using either. His shoulders sagged. His breath was short, his throat tightened. Then came angry tears. How do you yell at a dead person? “Why did you do this to us, Bell? We need to stay together!” He slammed his fist on the roof.
He looked up and saw birds overhead. Their wings flapped in harmony; the sun’s rays made their feathers sparkle. What would it be like to fly? To soar through clouds, to feel the wind rush past—that’s what it must be like to be free.
Pax was still on the roof when he spotted a man and a woman coming towards the house. They carried files and clipboards and wore red-and-blue badges on their sleeves. Hunched over, he waited. They were out of view when they climbed the steps to the porch.
“Pax!” Mega cried from below.
Pax didn’t answer. Instead he snatched up the hammer, crept across the roof, and peeled back a tile. If she heard the creaking up on the roof, Mega did not let on.
Through his peephole Pax could see Mega leading the two adults across the great room. They were going into Bell’s office. Crouching, crawling, Pax made his way back across the roof and jumped down onto the porch.
“Pax!” Kai cried and ran to him. Instinctively, without even looking down, Pax pushed Kai behind him. One by one the children stood behind Pax.
“You children must be moved. We do not want any nonsense.” The man came out of the house holding Bell’s letter. His face was pinched, his mouth pulled tight, his shoulders hunched. The woman followed.
“We do not need you. We can take care of ourselves.” Pax yelled louder than he meant to.
“You will all be taken to a good place. You have been provided for,” the man said, without looking any of the children in the eyes.
“Go away!” Pax shrieked. He was still holding the hammer. Without thinking, without even realizing it, he raised it in the air. “Leave us alone!”
The two left, one scurrying after the other.
Chapter 9
“Pax, we should do something—for Bell.”
Mega looked up at him, her eyes liquid, her face pale. Bambang and Guntur stood behind her, heads bobbing. He couldn’t tell them about Bell’s betrayal.
Pax shrugged. None of them had ever attended a funeral, although they had seen people pray over their dead. They sat on the floor in a circle.
“Should we hold hands?” asked Mega. Pax shrugged again. Shy Mega took charge. They held hands. “We should say something nice about Bell,” she instructed.
“She read us good stories,” said Bambang.
“She never hit us,” said Guntur.
“Not even when we broke stuff,” added Santoso.
“She loved us,” said Kai.
Love? Pax stood up and walked towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Kai asked.
He didn’t answer.
That night, Pax lay awake on his sleeping mat in the middle of the great room. The children, lying on their own mats, swirled around him like little fishes caught in a whirlpool. They had trouble settling down.
“Go to sleep. There is school tomorrow,” whispered Pax.
“What if something happens?” asked Bambang.
“Nothing will happen. Sleep now,” repeated Pax. But it was Pax who could not sleep. Bell had said that they would not be able to manage on their own. Why not? They did not need much. Bell was wrong.
It was Mega who started it. The crying. One after another joined in, sniffing, sobbing. “I want Bell to come back.” Maybe it was Guntur who spoke, but it might have been any of them. Pax lay still, his body rigid.
Another hole had opened in the roof. Pax could see one, two, maybe three stars. He drifted off to sleep after the stars had disappeared, when the night was darkest. He awoke as the sun came up. He crept into Bell’s office, dipped into the money box, and tiptoed out of the house.
The children woke to a breakfast of bread, rice, fruit, and beans. “Eat,” said Pax. It was a feast! They picked at the food. “Eat!” Pax repeated. What did they want? He couldn’t bring Bell back. Kai curled up into a ball. Bambang put his head in his hands and rocked on his bum.
Afterwards, Mega washed the pot in the dingy cistern water. “Maybe the government people will forget about us,” she said. Her eyes were puffed up and red. “If Bell were here . . .”
“Bell is not here. Get ready for school.” He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but what more could he do?
Later, when they were all home again, Pax went to the place where he could think—the roof. Kai, Mega, and the rest were below in the great room. Pax sat hugging his legs, his head bouncing off his knees. It would be good to hear Santoso and Guntur fight, he thought, or Bambang neigh like a horse. How could he care for them all? He and Kai could manage on their own, he was sure of that—there was enough cash in the money box to pay for school and uniforms for years. But what of the others? He had to do the ri
ght thing, but what was the right thing?
Pax pressed his palms into his eyes, wiped his tears, and looked out over the village. A new road circled it like a rope. Ugly as this place was, it was home.
He caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye. A car and a covered truck had pulled over on the main road. Pax shaded his eyes and squinted. It was rare for a vehicle to stop near their village. Soldiers wearing red-and-blue uniforms tumbled out of the back of the truck. It was hard to tell how many—maybe six or seven. Pax stood up. Two people got out of the car. Soldiers led the way. They were moving through the alley. They were coming directly towards the Pink House. Black clubs were clutched in the soldiers’ hands.
“Kai!” Pax jumped off the roof and landed on the porch. “Kai!” he cried. With a sweep of his arm, Pax pushed aside the plastic sheet and ran into the great room.
Mega stood still, a pot in one hand, a stained towel in the other. Santoso and Guntur looked up from a book. Bambang and Bhima stopped playing with a coin in the corner. They stared at Pax.
“Where is he?” Pax was wide-eyed, frantic, his arms outstretched.
“What’s the matter?” Mega held the towel to her mouth. The room vibrated with fear.
Pax ran towards Bell’s office. Kai was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Pax pushed back the rug, pulled at the floorboards, and picked up the money box. “Come.” He held the box under one arm and scooped up Kai with the other.
“Put me down!” Kai screamed. He flailed around, his arms and legs waving in all directions.
“Pax, what’s wrong?” Mega was screaming too. Santoso, Guntur, Bambang, and Bhima stood frozen in place.
“Mega, it will be all right. They will take you to a school. You will all be together.” Huffing, puffing, Pax headed for the door.
“Put me down!” Kai squealed like a little pig, pulled back, and wriggled out of Pax’s arms.
“What’s happening?” Mega was by Pax’s side.
Pax dropped the money box and put his hands on Mega’s shoulders. He looked at her, really looked, maybe for the first time. She was like his sister.
“Pax, please.” Her voice was as tiny as her body. He could feel her shoulder blades under his fingers, sharp and as pronounced as wings. She looked at him with coal-black eyes, her stare piercing and trusting at the same time. For a moment Pax faltered. The moment passed.
“Listen, they will take Kai away from us—from me. I have to go. Stay with the others.” He couldn’t look at her any more. He was weakening. He might hug her. Instead, suddenly, he pushed her away. “Kai!” he cried as he reached down, picked up the money box, and took firm hold of the boy’s arm.
“What do you mean? What school? Who will take us?” Guntur blocked Pax’s way.
“The soldiers. Bell planned it. You must go with them. It will be all right. You will have each other.” Pax used his shoulder to push Guntur aside.
“Where are you going?” Guntur yelled.
“Pax, don’t leave us!” Mega reached out and grabbed Pax’s shirt. She held on tight, her fingers threading through the material. “Please, Pax,” she sobbed.
He turned and took one last look at Mega, at Santoso, at Bhima, then swooped down and picked up Kai.
“Let me down, let me go!” Kai cried.
Pax stumbled out onto the porch and down the steps. He fell into the ditch.
“Pax, you are hurting me,” Kai cried.
“Quiet,” whispered Pax. He scrambled up, shaking off the filth.
“Pax, come back!”
It was Mega’s voice. He paused. The soldiers were shouting something. He cocked his ear like a dog. Holding Kai in his arms, and with the money box clutched in his hand, Pax ran. As he turned down a laneway, he heard Bambang cry out, “Don’t leave us!”
Pax tried to catch his breath. His head jerked from side to side. “Hide,” he said, pushing Kai into a shed.
“What about Mega?” Kai sobbed.
“Shush,” said Pax. He squatted on the money box, his body shielding Kai. Pax peered through a narrow slit in the shed wall. He could not see the others, but he could hear soldiers yelling commands.
“Pax?” Kai sobbed.
“Don’t speak,” Pax hissed.
They sat. Kai’s legs were crammed in. Tears ran down his face in sheets. Only when Pax leaned forward could Kai look past him to the hole in the shed.
“Mega,” he cried.
“Quiet!” said Pax. He could see her too. “They will be all right. They will be all right,” Pax repeated. “They will go to a facility. They will be all right.”
Kai sobbed into Pax’s shoulder. People were yelling at the police. There were screams.
“Wait here. Wait!” Pax turned and looked Kai in the eyes. Kai nodded dumbly, his head bobbing.
Pax left Kai sitting on the money box as he climbed up onto the roof of the shed. He curled his toes around the peak of the roof and shielded his eyes with a cupped hand. The children were being herded in a line through a pathway. Crowds were forming on either side of the line. “Where are you taking them?” the people cried. “What do you want with our children?” It was a surprising thing to say, shocking even. No one had cared about them before. Why now?
The police waved their clubs in the air. “Get back!” they shouted at the growing crowd. Pax could see them all—Bambang, Bhima, Mega, Santoso, Guntur. Mega’s head was bent, her hair falling over her face. Bhima shuffled behind her. And then Santoso and Guntur bolted and ran down an alley. Pax held his breath. Three soldiers split off from the group and chased after the two boys.
Pax stood up. He could see Santoso and Guntur weaving and dodging carts, boxes, people. Arms pumping, they raced towards the main road that circled the slum.
“No!” Pax screamed across the rooftops. A great bus with tinted windows was rounding a corner. “STOP!” How could the bus see them? “STOP!” he cried. Helpless, his arms outstretched, the cry caught in his throat, Pax watched as both boys rolled under the wheels of the bus.
“Pax!” Kai thumped at the side of the shed. Pax jumped down. He swung open the door, arms wide. Kai fell into them. “What happened?” Kai cried.
“Don’t be scared. Listen to me. Don’t be scared.” Pax held Kai tight and rocked him. “I will take care of you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Kai’s tears wet Pax’s shirt. “I will keep you safe. I promise. Forever.”
Only when the sun began to set did Pax and Kai creep back to the Pink House. The porch was empty and the plastic door had been torn down leaving a gaping hole, like an open mouth with no teeth. Thieves had already stripped away what little they had. Bell’s desk and rug had been taken. All the books and encyclopedias were gone, except for one volume, “Q-R-S.” The Seven Natural Wonders of the World was missing too, but the book on algebra lay open on the floor, its spine broken, pages exposed.
Their own sleeping mats, pillows, even school uniforms were gone. Only a few dirty mats were left in the corner. The spices, a knife, spoons, and tea had been stolen. Kai picked up the damaged algebra book and hugged it to his chest. Pax picked up the encyclopedia.
That night, when Kai was asleep, Pax opened Bell’s money box and divided the money into piles. He would save the foreign money. Bell had said that they would need ten times this amount to get to England. He would have to work hard, very hard, if Kai was going to go to school. “Ox-ford University, two-wish-on,” he repeated over and over while rubbing his face with the back of his hand. He tucked the local, dirty bills into his pocket. This money would be used for food, rice and figs, and two new school uniforms.
Chapter 10
The sun poked in through the roof. No one had come back for Pax and Kai. But why should they? The authorities did not even know that he and Kai existed. Perhaps Dr. Bennett would remember Kai but he was in England. They were safe for the moment.
Pax heard cracking sounds—wood being snapped in half. Then came ripping sounds. Pax jumped up and ran out onto the porch.
The men stopped. Some thumped their hammers in cupped hands, others ignored the two and got on with pulling down the house. “Get out before this place falls on your head,” jeered a man as he walked towards Pax. He had a beard, long hair, and wore Western jeans.
“You have no right. This is private property,” cried Pax as he puffed out his chest. His heart thumped and his legs quivered but he stood his ground.
“And who is going to stop us, you? Get away before you get hurt.” The man curled his lips over his teeth.
“Pax, what are they doing?” Kai came up behind Pax and hid behind his legs.
“Stay back,” Pax hissed.
“Pax, Pax,” Ol’ May yelled from beyond the ditch. “Come away from there.” She motioned to Pax with a hand as big as a dustpan. Bell had said that Ol’ May had a disease that made her hands and legs big—elephant big. Her head was big too, and her hair was wild, like a lion’s.
Pax looked at the man eye to eye. He couldn’t win, he wouldn’t win. “Stay with me,” he whispered to Kai.
Pax dashed back into the house, with Kai on his heels, and wrapped up the money box in the last, dirty mat. He tucked it under his arm. “Get your books.” Pax tipped his head towards the two books on the floor.
“What are you doing?” whispered Kai.
“Stay close.”
Pax stepped outside again and crossed the porch. The men had gone back to destroying the Pink House, their home.
The boys jumped the ditch and walked towards Ol’ May.
“I knew you still here. Those men—bad men. Take.” She held up a bowl of burnt rice. Pax clutched the mat and the money box tightly under his arm and peered, stone-faced, into the bowl. It was rice scraped from the bottom of a pot. A beetle, as fat as a finger, crawled across the crust. Dogs would not eat this stuff.