by Hannah Ford
“I’m not afraid of it,” she said, knowing that she wasn’t telling the truth.
“Well you’re acting scared,” he told her. “This is what it’s going to be, Raven. I told you it’ll be intense and scary and overwhelming. Those photographers back there? Those guys are nothing. They’re just the tip of the iceberg.”
Raven took a deep breath and let it out. “All I’m saying is that maybe we should be a little less impulsive about how we come out to the world, Jake. You’re trying to just rip the Band-Aid off and I’m saying maybe we should take it slowly.”
“That’s not how I do things. Let them take their pictures, let everyone go nuts. And then, we’ll get past it.”
But Raven wasn’t sure. The cab driver was watching them with eyes that showed he knew exactly who he had in his car.
The paparazzi had some pictures, and soon they’d be out amidst the crowds in Time Square, and for all she knew a riot would break out. Jake wasn’t with his security detail, nobody could protect them now if things got out of hand.
Jake was trying to solve it all at once, to just jump in the deep end and force himself to swim. She had to give him credit for being courageous, but Raven wasn’t sure that this was the best plan.
She’d envisioned something more calm, less frenzied. She’d imagined them doing an interview together, going out at night, just the two of them—with security—making sure to avoid most of the press and the crowds.
Sure, there would be pictures taken and word would filter out, but it would be controlled. It would be slow.
This just seemed reckless.
Eventually, they reached Times Square, and the crowds were swarming, people marching in controlled chaos up and down the streets. Tourists mixed with natives, police, the peanut and hot dog vendors, guys selling tickets to comedy shows and bus tours.
As the cab pulled up, Raven stared out the window. “I just don’t know about this.”
“Come on, let’s grab a bite to eat,” Jake said lightly, opening the door of the cab.
“I really, really don’t think we should do this,” she told him.
“Raven, come on. We’ve done enough talking. Now it’s time for action. You’re starting to remind me of one of those guys I used to serve with in Afghanistan. They loved to draw up battle plans, but when it came time to execute in real world conditions, they suddenly lost all taste for combat.”
“Jake, I hate to break it to you but we’re not fighting a war.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Now get out of the cab.” He paid the driver, who exclaimed his thanks at the generous tip.
Raven’s heart was beating fast in her chest. She couldn’t believe that this was real. She was going to walk through Time freaking Square with Jake Novak. When his manager found out about this, he was going to go nuts.
Is that what you’re afraid of? She asked herself.
Maybe Jake’s right about you. You’re all talk, no action. Now is the time to step and do what you said you were going to do. Or are you going to run back to the hotel with your tail between your legs and then hop the first bus back to Boston?
Maybe you’re not cut out for this life.
Jake extended his hand into the cab. He looked right at her with his brown eyes, and they were kind and protective. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ve got this.”
And she let him take her by the hand, pull her out of the cab, and then they were walking through the crowd in Times Square. Raven looked up and saw a huge billboard hanging above the square, and it was changing from one picture to another.
Suddenly, she saw a shot of Jake playing guitar with a ripped shirt, showing off his chiseled body. He was twenty feet tall and beautiful. THE NEW TOUR STARTS NOW. JAKE NOVAK LIVE IN CONCERT.
She pointed up at it and Jake laughed, as the people passed by them.
It took a few minutes for him to be noticed. At first, it was just one or two mouths dropping open as they walked past this person or that one. But soon, they were gathering a little following of people, and there was a buzz starting.
It was energy, and Raven could feel it building as they continued walking.
Soon people were shouting his name, and then there were cameras being held up to take video from all sides.
Raven looked at Jake and he was laughing, his eyes were bright.
He loves this, she thought. He loves the action, he loves the challenge.
But nobody seemed angry, people weren’t yelling obscenities like she thought they might.
Finally, when things got so bad that it was getting hard to keep moving, Jake grabbed Raven by the hand and ducked into a restaurant. The place was nearly empty, which was surprising, given its location.
But luckily it was rather dim and dark inside. There was a huge bar and plenty of tables surrounding it, with many TV screens showing different sporting events on each television.
A waitress caught sight of Jake and was about to say something, but when she realized who he was, her mouth just hung open.
Raven turned and saw a crush of people just outside the doors, many of them peering into the restaurant. Strangely, nobody tried to come inside, almost as if they thought they’d be told to leave.
“Table for two,” Jake told the stunned waitress, who looked as if she’d just swallowed her tongue.
“Oh…oh….sure.” She grabbed menus and led them to a booth in the corner. “Is this okay?” she asked, staring only at Jake.
“This is great…” he peered at her name tag. “…Melanie.”
A huge smile came across her face. “I really love your movies,” she said, as they sat down at the booth.
Raven sat down and Jake slid in next to her, his hip bumping hers. “Thanks, Melanie. That means a lot to me,” he said to the waitress. He grinned and the waitress blushed.
“Drinks?” she asked, still looking just at Jake.
“I’ll have a Ginger Ale,” Raven said.
The waitress never so much as glanced in her direction.
“And a water for me,” Jake told her. “No lemon, Melanie.”
Melanie’s face was bright red. “Got it, Jake.” She turned and walked away from the table, a tiny squeal coming out as she went to get their drinks.
Raven watched her huddle with the rest of the wait staff, obviously breaking the big news to them about who was in their restaurant.
Jake was unconcerned. He drummed his fingers on the tabletop.
The waitress came and put down their drinks. They hadn’t even looked at the menu yet.
“Any idea what you want to eat?” the waitress asked.
“What’s your best dish?” Jake asked her.
“Oh, probably the Times Burger,” she said. “It’s our signature—people love it.”
“Let’s do two of those,” Jake said, winking.
Raven groaned. “You don’t even know if I like burgers.”
“Everyone likes burgers,” he replied simply.
“Yeah, everyone likes burgers,” the waitress agreed. She batted her eyelashes at him coquettishly.
Clearly, Raven thought, we’ve moved past shyness and now we’re onto openly throwing ourselves at the superstar.
“Thanks, Mel,” Jake told Melanie, winking.
She giggled. “I’ll bring you some nachos on the house,” she told him. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.” And then she left the table.
“Is this what girls act like around you all the time?” Raven asked him.
“Pretty much,” Jake said. “It’s a tough life.”
“Ugh, it’s kind of gross.” Raven shook her head. She couldn’t tell if Jake was showing off, trying to get under her skin, or if this really just was normal for him.
All she knew was that none of this was normal for her. Having Jake sitting next to her, his body so close, acting like they were together, it was all too much.
Outside, a crowd of people had formed and would be waiting for them when they exited.
What kind of life was
this really going to be? She wondered. Was she up to it?
On the television screen right above them, Raven caught a glimpse of a news story about Jake. There was the same kind of headline she was used to seeing. Jake Novak Under Fire, it read. She couldn’t hear what they were saying because the volume was down, but she couldn’t imagine.
Did he even notice the news story about him? Had he just learned to tune it all out?
A few minutes later, the waitress brought out a plate of nachos with cheese and diced chicken over the top. It looked delicious, and as Raven dug in and started to eat, she was almost able to feel like this was going to be okay.
Maybe everything really would blow over after a few days, like Jake said it might if they ripped the Band-Aid off.
And then someone came into the restaurant. Raven noticed the man walking inside and looking around as if for a friend. But when the man’s eyes spotted them, he turned in their direction.
“Uh oh,” Raven said, grabbing Jake’s forearm.
Jake saw the guy coming. “Just relax,” he said to her softly. “I’ll handle him.”
The man was lumbering, not particularly fast, but he was determined to reach Jake, that was clear. He was wearing work boots, jeans, a windbreaker, and a cap. He looked like maybe he worked construction or something. He had a graying beard and long hair, and his face was lined and worn down.
Jake turned toward the man but stayed seated. “Can I help you?” Jake asked, as the guy approached the table.
Raven got a nervous sensation, like the man might pull a gun or something. What if he tried to kill Jake with a gun? What would she do?
“Yeah, you can help me,” the man said, his lips pulling back with disgust. “You can tell me what gives you the right.”
“The right to do what?” Jake asked, sounding casual, interested.
The man’s eyes were watery, his jaw trembled. His hands clenched into fists. “I’d like to show you what a real man does when someone trashes his family.”
“Sir, I don’t even know you,” Jake said. “I don’t think I ever trashed your family.”
“Oh, but you did, you son of a bitch. You did trash my family.” He stepped closer.
The waitress and staff gathered closer nearby, obviously concerned about what was developing.
“I didn’t mean to insult your family,” Jake said. He was still completely calm.
But Raven was scared. This man was so enraged, his face was practically purple, and even though he was older, he still looked strong, like he could hurt someone if he wanted to.
“What the fuck gives you the right?” the man shouted. “My son should be alive right now, not you. Not you.”
“Sir, you’re going to have to leave,” the waitress said, as a couple of male staff closed in from behind the man.
“No, wait,” Jake said, standing up. “Leave him be.”
The man was watching Jake as he approached. The man’s jaw trembled more furiously now. “You should fucking die, you son of a bitch.”
“You lost your son,” Jake said softly. “Is that right?”
“Don’t talk about my son, you bastard. He was ten times the man you are. Ten times.”
“I believe you,” Jake replied.
The man’s fists were shaking now, and Raven could see he was so close to attacking Jake, mere seconds away.
“Every day I miss him,” the man sputtered, “and he was no coward. He was no loser. You’re the loser.”
“I was wrong to say that,” Jake said, looking right at the man. “I regret saying it, and I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Bullshit.”
“How did he pass?” Jake asked.
“He came home from defending this country,” the older man said. “He was a decorated veteran. He actually had battle scars, unlike you,” the man continued. “You didn’t lose anything. My son gave up his legs for his country, and then he was depressed because he came back to nothing. He said nobody cared about him. People like you told him that his depression was weakness and he believed it.”
Jake put his hands on the man’s shoulders, and although the man flinched, he didn’t try and stop Jake.
Jake looked into his eyes. “Don’t carry his death on your shoulders,” he said.
“Who are you to tell me about my son?”
“I’m a veteran too,” Jake said.
The man’s face looked like crumpled paper, his features straining. “You’re nothing compared to him,” he choked. “Nothing.”
Jake smiled. “I would never want to hear you say anything else, sir. He’s your boy and nobody can take that away from you. And I’m glad you came in here and told me this.”
The man was shaking still. “I should fucking punch your lights out.”
But Jake held the man’s shoulders, and it was as if the anger couldn’t stand up to Jake actually being there and being willing to listen to the man spill his guts.
And then the angry father was somehow crying, sobbing, his shoulders shaking, and Jake was soothing him. “It’s going to be okay,” Jake told him. “I promise you.”
Finally, the man stopped crying. “I’m just so angry.”
“This isn’t for television,” Jake told a woman at the bar who was trying to surreptitiously record the whole incident on her cell phone.
That woman put her phone away, and Raven couldn’t believe it. Jake must have known that if video of this had gotten out, it would have made him look a million times better. He’d shown compassion to that hurting father. That was the compassion nobody saw in the video from when Jake was younger.
“I’m sorry I disturbed your lunch,” the older man said, taking a napkin Jake handed him. He blew his nose loudly.
“No need to apologize. I don’t accept,” Jake laughed. “You stood up for your son today, and I believe he was lucky to have a proud father like you in his corner.”
The old man gratefully stared at Jake for a long moment. “You mean that?”
“I do,” he said. “I really do.”
And then the most amazing thing happened. The formerly enraged man held out his hand for Jake to shake. “I think I misjudged you,” he said, his eyes still leaking.
“Maybe, maybe not. You just take care of yourself and remember that your son is a hero, and nobody—not me, not anyone—can take that away from him or you.”
“Jake, you should have let that woman at the bar film you,” Raven said softly, after the older man left and Jake sat back down at the table.
“No,” Jake told her. “Not this time. He deserves better than to be a publicity stunt.”
She saw once again that when it came to veterans, Jake had a totally different demeanor than he did with anything else. He’d cared about the man’s son and he’d shown it.
The waitress brought over their burgers shortly after that.
“This is totally bizarre,” Raven told him, as she picked up her burger. “What are we doing here?”
Jake licked his fingertips. “We’re eating a delicious burger in Times Square.”
“Yeah, but this is just nuts. You don’t really think this is going to work, do you?”
“It is going to work,” Jake said, slinging his arm over her shoulders. “And I thought you believed it too. You seemed pretty sure of yourself when you pitched the idea to me.”
She shivered a little bit at his touch. His body was pressed close to hers now, and she could smell his cologne. Beneath that was the smell of his body, the scent of his skin that she remembered from the night before.
“I’m afraid,” she admitted.
“What are you so afraid of?”
Raven knew it wasn’t time to tell him the truth about Kurt. “I’m afraid of everything. I’m nervous about Skylar, and I’m nervous about what the media’s going to say when the pictures of us come out everywhere. I’m worried about you cancelling your Boston shows.”
Jake frowned. “I never told you about cancelling Boston,” he said. He looked closely at her.
“How’d you know about that?”
“I read about it,” she said hastily, hoping he wouldn’t doubt her cover story.
“Wow, news does travel fast,” Jake replied. “I didn’t know that Kurt had made it public yet.”
“The point is,” Raven said, trying to get off of the subject, “I’m scared about what’s going to happen. I’m worried that I won’t be able to handle it.”
“You’ll be able to,” Jake said. His hand gently slid to her shoulder, down to her bicep and up again.
“Don’t do that,” Raven whispered.
“Don’t do what?”
“The way you’re touching me.”
“We’re out in public, that’s part of the deal.”
“Nobody’s even watching us right now,” she said, gesturing to the nearly empty restaurant.
“We’re in public,” he said, “so technically we’re on a date.”
She nodded, accepting that he was right. But it was hard to sit there and allow him to touch her shoulder, to caress her so softly, when she knew it was all a lie. Raven hadn’t quite anticipated how it would feel in reality.
Raven took a bite of her burger and chewed, and Jake sat with his arm over her, eating with his free hand.
The same woman at the bar who Jake had told not to shoot video took her camera out again and began filming. This time, Jake didn’t tell her to stop.
Instead, he snuggled closer to Raven, nuzzling his head against hers. “That chick is filming us,” he whispered. “So make it look good.”
Raven was angry with him suddenly. Why was all of this so easy for him? How could he do these sorts of things with her and never develop any feelings, never want a real relationship?
“I can make it look better than good,” she said, turning her face into his so that their lips were practically touching.
“You talk a big game,” Jake said, licking his lips. “I want to see it.”
“Maybe you’re the one who can’t handle it,” Raven whispered, smiling. Their lips moved closer and closer.
“Raven,” he said. One hand touched her cheek as he pulled her body even closer in the booth.
She looked at him. She could feel his skin against hers, could feel his beard stubble on her cheek. Their faces were touching, everything was right for a real kiss, but somehow neither of them went for it.