by Hannah Ford
She swam for a bit, then got out and lay in one of the lounge chairs. She was in a screened in porch area that actually was big enough to include an outdoor kitchen with a huge grill that would be great for entertaining.
Raven let the sun dry her skin, breathing deeply.
After a little while, she thought of Skylar, and realized—with a huge pang of guilt—that she absolutely needed to check in with her.
Raven called, and Sky picked up almost immediately. “Hey!” she said, sounding chipper.
“Hey,” Raven replied, shifting to a sitting position. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch for a couple of days.”
“Don’t be silly,” Skylar said. “It hasn’t been that long, Raven.”
“I just—I feel bad. I want to be there for you.”
“You have been. I would be so screwed if you and Jake hadn’t helped me with my healthcare costs.”
Raven’s mouth dried up, thinking about Jake’s financial problems. What would happen if he could no longer help Skylar out, and she still needed treatment?
“Well, that’s all Jake—it had nothing to do with me,” Raven replied, trying to keep her voice light.
“Speaking of Jake,” Skylar said, “I need details. What the heck’s going on with you guys? I’ve been reading and hearing all sorts of stuff on the news, but I’m sure it’s all rumor.”
Raven sighed, getting off her chair and starting to pace around the perimeter of the pool. “Actually, a lot of the rumors are true—depending on which ones you heard.”
“So Jake’s cancelling his tour, firing everyone—all of that’s true?”
Raven nodded. “Yeah. He says he doesn’t want to live that lifestyle anymore, doesn’t want to pretend to be that squeaky clean boy band character.”
“And how do you feel about him quitting his tour?”
“It’s not really my decision,” Raven said slowly.
“Yeah, but it effects you.”
“I don’t know,” Raven sighed. “He’s been acting a little strange, Sky. It’s making me afraid that he’s going to somehow blame me for everything going wrong in his career and his life. And maybe I would too, if I were him.”
“That’s bullshit,” Skylar told her.
Raven laughed. “I love that you’re giving it to me straight, Sky.”
“Well, it is bullshit. Jake’s a grown man, he can’t blame you for his problems. He needs to figure it out, and you can’t take responsibility for any of it.”
Raven smiled. “You’re pretty wise, you know that?”
“I’ll take just being pretty.”
Raven’s smile faded a little. “How are you feeling, Sky?”
“I’m doing good,” Skylar told her, but her tone had changed slightly. “The day I get chemo isn’t that bad, but it seems like the days afterward I just feel worse and worse. I’ve been pretty nauseous and just so tired.”
“I need to come back there.”
“No, you don’t. My Mom and Dad are taking care of things, and honestly I’m mostly sleeping anyhow.”
Raven took a deep breath, shaking her head. “You’d tell me if you needed me, though—right? Because I’ll fly back today—this very hour—if you need me.”
Skylar just laughed. “Don’t be a fool. I know you’re here for me and it means a lot. But you need to live your life, and you and Jake obviously have some stuff to figure out. So go and figure it out and stop worrying about me.”
“Okay, okay. I get it.”
“Good. Don’t take any crap from him.”
“I won’t.”
“Love you, Raven.”
“Love you, Sky.”
Raven got off the phone and sat back down in her lounge chair, wondering how she’d gotten so lucky to have such an amazing friend.
And she really hoped that Skylar was telling the truth, that she really was okay and her parents were helping her. Because if it turned out that Skylar was trying to protect her and just telling her things to make Raven feel better, it would be a terrible blow.
And the guilt hadn’t gone completely away, despite Sky’s reassurances.
Still, Raven told herself then and there that if she was going to be away from her best friend, she was going to damn well make the most of her time in Florida with Jake.
She wasn’t going to sit around feeling sorry for herself when she had her health, she was with the man she loved, and she was staying in paradise.
Getting back into the pool, Raven swam a half dozen hard laps, enjoying the invigorating feeling of using her muscles to propel herself through the water, the coolness on her skin as the sun warmed her from overhead.
When she got out, she squeezed the water from her hair and watched it splatter the ground.
“Morning,” Jake’s voice croaked from inside the house.
Raven gave a little gasp and turned around. “Hey, I didn’t hear you get up!”
Jake was standing in his boxers, no shirt, his hair mussed, yawning. “How’s the water?”
“It’s amazing!” she said, aware of the fact that they were both already almost completely naked. She was wearing the string bikini he’d talked about wanting to see her in, and she was still glistening wet from the pool.
Jake blinked at her, his eyes bloodshot. “Cool.”
“You should get in,” she told him.
He shook his head. “Nah,” he said, and began shuffling into the kitchen.
Raven watched him go to the refrigerator, as she picked up a towel and started drying off. When she was dry enough to go inside without dripping everywhere, she followed him.
Jake poured himself a bowl of cereal and then walked past her to the living room, where he turned on Sports Center and began eating his cereal as he stared at the TV.
“It’s amazing out,” she said. “Do you want to go for a run or a walk in a little bit?”
Jake didn’t take his eyes from the TV. Instead, he shoved another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “Maybe,” he said, sounding doubtful.
“I mean, we could just walk for a little bit on the beach.”
“The cool thing about being in Florida like this is we don’t need to even make a plan,” Jake said, still watching television as he spoke.
“I’m not saying we need to make some huge itinerary,” Raven replied, “but I thought maybe it would be fun to walk on the beach together.”
“We’ll see. I just want to catch up on a few things.”
She stared at him. Catch up on a few things? She realized that he was talking about catching up on the highlights from games he’d missed the previous day. It was bizarre, and she wanted to tell him so.
But then she realized that this might be a reaction to suddenly having time off for the first time in years. His life had been incredibly stressful, and he’d been constantly on the go.
Let him have his relaxation time, Raven. Don’t push him or he’ll really start to resent you.
It was disappointing, but Raven decided not to let it get her down. Instead, she went upstairs and changed into shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops, then slathered sunscreen on her somewhat pale legs, neck, arms and face, and then went back downstairs to find Jake sitting in exactly the same place, only the cereal bowl was sitting on the table.
“I’m going to go for a walk around the neighborhood,” she said.
Jake glanced at her. “Nice. Have fun!”
She almost told him where he could stick his fun, but instead gave him a perky smile. “I will have fun,” she said, determined to stay upbeat.
She turned on her heel and left the house, smiling even wider as the sunlight hit her upturned face.
There’s nothing to be bummed about. Jake’s in a little funk, but it’s not my problem.
Raven began walking, smelling the scents of flowers and trees, fresh air and the sea, as she made her way down the secluded street. Her footsteps echoed on the pavement as her flip-flops slapped the ground.
Soon, she’d worked up a bit of a sweat
and she was feeling good, watching as the cars drove by, waving as a cyclist and then a jogger went past.
There was an older couple walking an even older dog, and then a kid and his friend on skateboards—people were out and about and enjoying life.
But as she continued on, she couldn’t help but occasionally think about Jake’s demeanor and the sudden change his personality seemed to have undergone since the previous night.
Raven was frustrated, because they were there together and he didn’t seem to even want to touch her, although she very badly wanted him.
What happened to the making love all day long, the walks on the beach, all of the things he’d been promising?
Raven didn’t have any answers.
* * *
The next few days fell into a predictable pattern. Raven was up early, first for a swim in the pool, then she’d lay out for about half an hour, text with Skylar or her brother for a few minutes.
After that, she’d make herself breakfast, something relatively light and healthy—and then she’d go upstairs and change into shorts and a t-shirt, put on her running shoes.
Jake would still be sleeping soundly, and she’d try not to look at him for too long or think too much about the way he was acting.
Next, Raven would go for a nice long run on the beach. It was amazing, because the beach was private, so she had it mostly to herself, although it was shared with some of the other neighbors who also owned a piece of it. As she ran, she could look out at the water and then also up to the mansions that dotted the landscape nearby.
She would typically run for just about an hour, and then she’d go back inside, usually to find Jake eating cereal and watching television.
They’d make brief conversation, and Jake would usually be distracted, almost annoyed that she was disrupting his TV watching to converse with him.
After that, Raven would go take a long shower, pamper herself with makeup and creams and then blow-dry her hair. When she was all done up and ready, she’d go back downstairs to find Jake still in front of the TV.
Raven would make herself lunch, and Jake would join her, but he’d often be eating and then strolling back into the living room to watch television as they ate, almost like he was afraid of what he might miss—even though he was watching junk like Judge Judy and old movies.
Later in the afternoon, he would start drinking.
It wasn’t as though he was getting extremely drunk, but he would just sort nurse a beer through the afternoon, then continue into the evening.
His mood would get even more subdued, if such a thing was possible, and Raven had stopped bothering trying to join him. At first, she’d thought that maybe they could drink a little together, get excited, maybe tear each other’s clothes off.
But it didn’t happen.
On the fourth night, Jake passed out early on the couch, The Godfather Part II playing at top volume as he snored, a handful of beer bottles on the table next to him and a half-empty pizza box open beside that.
He’d ordered the pizza at around eight and was asleep on the couch by nine, leaving Raven to wonder just what she was doing there.
She was growing angry and bored, and also a little bit scared now.
Was Jake having a nervous breakdown or something? She didn’t know, but she was starting to feel like things were reaching a tipping point. Raven wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take, with no end in sight.
She began wandering the house, and that’s when she decided, for no particular reason, to check out the garage, which she’d never bothered seeing up until that point.
Jake never parked the jeep in the garage, never opened it, and hadn’t ever mentioned it before.
So when she opened the door, Raven was absolutely stunned by what she found.
The four-car garage had been converted entirely into a state-of-the-art recording studio.
She walked into the room, turning on all of the lights to get a good look at it. The place was clearly sound proofed, and there was a sort of control room with a large mixing board, computers with huge monitors, and plenty of space—enough that there was a large leather couch and a few comfortable chairs for people to hang out on.
Raven exited the control booth through a narrow doorway and found herself in a wide open room that had a few different microphone stands, lots of amplifiers, guitars, a grand piano, keyboard, and then a separate sealed off room with a full drum set.
Microphones were everywhere, wired up to record the musicians who theoretically might play inside this space.
She stared around, wondering when Jake had built this place, and for what purpose. Had he actually recorded any of his previous albums here?
It looked and smelled like it hadn’t been used in some time—there was a mustiness, and much of the equipment was covered in a light layer of dust.
After strolling around the studio, Raven finally decided she’d seen enough. Also, she was afraid Jake might come in and accuse her of snooping.
Giving the room one last parting glance, she turned off all the lights and closed the door behind her.
Raven went back into the TV room, turned off the television set. Jake stirred on the couch, groaning.
“What’s going on?” he asked, squinting up at her blearily.
“You fell asleep,” she told him.
“So?”
“So, the TV was on full blast and you weren’t watching it.”
“I was listening.”
“Jake,” she said, shaking her head.
“Raven,” he mimicked her annoyed tone.
“You’ve had too much to drink,” she replied. “Why don’t you go up to bed?”
Jake sat up on the couch. “No, I don’t think so,” he said, grabbing the remote off the table and turning The Godfather II back on. He even turned the volume up a few notches.
“Real mature,” she sighed, her blood beginning to slowly boil.
“Yeah, I am really mature—thanks for noticing.” He sat back, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box and taking an enormous bite of it.
Raven was going to tell him off. She wanted so badly to give him hell for the way he was treating her, but she could see from the look in his eyes that Jake was spoiling for a fight. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“Well, I guess I’m going to bed now,” she muttered, turning and walking away from him.
“You’re going to miss all the fun!” he called after her.
“That’s okay!” she called back, rolling her eyes. She walked up the stairs and went into the bedroom, taking off her clothes and crawling into bed. Tears were in her eyes, and she willed herself not to sob.
Don’t be such a baby, Raven. He’s being an ass. Don’t let him get to you.
But he was getting to her, and she was tired of it. She was tired of him jerking her around, acting one way and then changing five minutes later.
Perhaps he was just sick of her—maybe he regretted bringing her to Florida with him. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew that the breaking point was very near.
* * *
The next morning, Raven was up early. She vaguely recalled waking up as Jake stumbled into bed, smelling of pizza and beer and mumbling to himself that “Fredo didn’t deserve it.”
She’d had no idea what he was talking about, and didn’t care. She’d fallen back asleep moment later.
Now, she got to her normal routine of an early morning swim, had some yogurt, went for a run on the beach, came back and took a shower, got ready for the rest of the day.
Only this time, as she was doing her makeup and drying her hair, Raven started to find herself getting angrier and angrier as she pictured Jake eating his greasy pizza and turning the volume up on the television.
Her hand clutched her brush and then suddenly she threw it across the bathroom, where it smashed the wall, leaving a slight gray mark on the tile.
She was breathing fast, and her hands felt numb, and Raven realized it was time to
take action.
Leaving the bathroom, she saw that Jake was still sound asleep—of course.
She went downstairs, walking with a purpose now. Then she opened the door to the studio, went inside, and got what she needed to get, turning around and immediately marching back upstairs with it.
When she re-entered the bedroom, Raven was glaring at Jake with an intensity she’d rarely felt.
He’s probably going to kick you out of his house—and his life—after you pull this stunt.
But Raven was past caring. Something needed to change, and it was going to change.
She was holding one of Jake’s expensive acoustic guitars, and she put the strap over her shoulders so it hung across her chest. And then, not knowing how to play anything, she simply strummed the strings as loud as she could, causing a cacophony of sound that was so loud it even surprised her.
Jake sat up in bed, wide-eyed. “What the hell?” he yelled.
She stopped playing and stared back at him. “You don’t like the way I play?” she asked.
“Where’d you get that, Raven?” he said, his eyes hardening. “Why are you holding my goddamn guitar right now?”
“Fine, I’ll stop holding it,” she said, ripping the strap off her shoulders and then throwing the guitar directly at Jake.
He caught it deftly, but it shocked him, from the look on his face. “Raven, you’ve lost your mind.”
“No, Jake,” she replied, pointing an accusing finger at him, “you’re the one who’s lost your mind. And I’m fed up.”
He blinked at her. “So this is how you communicate your frustration? By snooping through my shit and stealing my instruments?”
Raven had to laugh. “I hardly stole anything. Stop whining for one second and look at yourself.”
Jake put the guitar gently to the side on the bed and stood up. “Listen, I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my house and my life. If you don’t approve, I really don’t give a shit.”
“Yes you do,” she said, folding her arms.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, yes. You. Do.”