by Hannah Ford
How many women would kill to be in my position right now?
Maybe not as many as before today, she told herself—and then felt instantly guilty.
“What’s wrong?” he said again. “You want to talk about it? The game?”
She shrugged. “I know you’re already sick of thinking about it.”
“Shit happens. I’ll get ‘em next time.”
“Are you really going to get them next time?” she asked. “Or will you just keep doing what you did today?”
The words had come out unexpectedly, but now they hung in the silence, and Chase had stopped massaging her feet. He was just looking blankly at her, and she was shocked too.
I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t mean to doubt you.
But she had doubted him and there was no pretending otherwise.
Chase wiped his lips with his thumb, back and forth, seemingly lost in thought. Finally, he looked at her. “I didn’t think I’d have to justify myself to you, Faith.”
“I’m sorry I said that.” She looked down, picking at a loose thread on the couch. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Obviously, you did. You said your true feelings,” Chase replied. “For someone with your name, you sure don’t live up to it very well.” He pushed her feet off his lap and stood up.
“Chase, please,” Faith cried out, and then reached out to take his hand.
He pulled easily away from her grasp and started walking in the opposite direction. He finally turned towards her again from across the room. “You’re just as bad as the rest of them—the press, the fucking media and players. All the people who want to see me fail, who judge me. I thought you’d be different, but you’re not.”
Faith got up. “I said it because I know something’s wrong,” she told him, her voice shaky but loud in the room.
He put his hands on his hips. “Something’s wrong? Like the fact that I have millions of people watching and commenting on my every goddamn move?”
“No,” she said. “Something else. And I’m…I’m scared. I’m scared you’re hiding a secret from me—“
“I have too many to count,” he replied, his dark eyes blazing at her. He walked slowly towards her. “Which secret do you want to know, now, huh?” he said, his voice a low growl. “Or do you just want to tear my fucking heart out of my chest and save yourself some time?”
“I don’t ever want to hurt you,” Faith said, her skin in goose bumps, her heart pounding.
“Then why are you torturing me?” he asked.
“Because, I want to know what happened,” she said. “Tell me the truth about why you lost the game.”
He was closer to her now, and his chest was rising and falling quickly. “Tell you the truth? You think there’s some big mystery?” He laughed and looked up at the ceiling. “Sometimes athletes have a bad game.”
“No,” she replied. “That’s not what this was.”
“Like you have any clue,” he said, meeting her gaze again.
“I know what I saw out there, Chase. Tell me what’s really going on.”
He stared at her for a long time, and now his jaw was trembling with rage and his eyes were pained and furious all at once. “This is bullshit.” He spun and walked to the wall and kicked it, smashing a ragged, circular hole through it.
Plaster and paint chips sprayed everywhere and Faith felt like running, but she didn’t run.
She stood her ground.
“Don’t try and frighten me by acting violent, Chase.”
His shoulders instantly slumped and he bowed his head. “Christ, I’m as bad as him.”
“As bad as who?”
“Velcro,” Chase muttered.
I knew it was about Velcro. I wasn’t imagining anything.
“Go ahead,” she said softly. “You can tell me.”
“I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see at the hotel last night, when I went to give the damn phone back to Monique.” He turned and looked at Faith, and his complexion had grown very pale. “I took the stairs up to their floor and when I went by the elevator, I saw them…I saw him. Velcro, dragging her body out of the elevator and into the hallway, and she was…she was unconscious.”
“I don’t get it,” Faith said. “Are you joking?”
“No, I’m not joking,” he told her.
“Why was Velcro dragging her body out of the elevator?” she said, her face a mask of disgust now.
“Because,” Chase answered, “Velcro hit her and she lost consciousness. There’s no other reason that makes sense. I saw the bruising on her eye. She didn’t just pass out or anything.”
“Oh no,” Faith said, closing her eyes and swaying slightly. “This is bad,” she whispered.
“Me and Velcro started to get into it right there, because I told him there was no way in hell I was going to leave until I made sure Monique was okay, and he told me he was going to beat my ass too if I didn’t mind my own business.”
Faith opened her eyes and saw Chase anew. He’d been courageous, and she’d thought so little of him that she’d assumed his behavior during the game was due to criminal reasons. Instead, it turned out that Chase was upset because of what his teammate had done to an innocent woman.
“But you didn’t get in a fight with him, did you?” she asked.
“No,” Chase admitted. His eyes were distant as he continued the story. “We were starting to get loud and push each other and hotel security showed up. Some other players stuck their heads out to see what was going on, so there were witnesses. Once security came, Monique regained consciousness and she seemed okay, so I decided the situation was safe and I left. I told security to have the police contact me for a statement.”
Faith went to him, then, and threw her arms around him, pressing her cheek into his chest. “I think what you did was amazing,” she said, “and I’m sorry I doubted you.”
He held her in return. “I shouldn’t have kicked the wall,” he said. “I never want you to be afraid of me. I’d never hurt you.”
“I know that,” she said. “I’m not afraid of you, Chase. Nobody’s ever made me feel as safe as you make me feel.”
He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head as his muscular, warm body enveloped her in his embrace. “I wanted to tell you everything,” he said, “but I didn’t want to involve you in my fucked up life and all of my problems.”
“But they’re our problems now,” she told him.
He pulled back and looked at her. “You don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Yes I do.” She looked at him with an unwavering gaze. “I really do.”
“My problems are bigger than even I can handle.”
“That’s exactly why we need each other,” she said. “So we can handle things together, so we don’t have to do it all alone.”
Chase stroked her cheek and stared lovingly into her eyes. “You make me want to be a better man.”
“You already are a good man—a great man,” she corrected herself.
“Now you know why I wouldn’t throw a pass to that piece of trash,” Chase said. “I don’t even want to look at the guy anymore, and I shouldn’t have to. He should be suspended, kicked out of the league.”
Faith thought about it, her concern starting to grow. “The police never contacted you about it?”
He shook his head, breaking away from her. “Nope.” He thought about it and laughed hopelessly. “I know there’s cameras videotaping in the elevators and hallways, so I thought for sure it would be seen and dealt with by the hotel—and they’d be obligated to call the police. But nobody contacted me, so that makes me think that the police were never involved.”
“Well that’s not okay,” Faith said, her outrage growing as she realized what Chase was telling her. “He can’t just get away with it. Someone needs to tell the authorities.”
Chase laughed. “The authorities?”
“Yes,” she said, aghast. “The police, the NFL, the newspapers. Whoever needs to be to
ld to get some justice for Monique. He’s an abuser and he needs to be punished for what he did to her, Chase.”
“I know,” Chase said. “You don’t think I’d like nothing better than to tear his head off his shoulders? But it doesn’t work that way around here, with pro athletes. They’re protected in ways you can’t even imagine.”
“It’s not right and we can’t just keep quiet.”
“We?” he said, incredulous.
“I’m involved too,” she said. “And I refuse to keep quiet.”
“No,” Chase said. “This isn’t your battle. It’s mine.”
“What do you mean? What battle?”
Chase looked suddenly determined and she could see the wheels turning in his head. “You’re right that I can’t keep my mouth shut about this. I’m going to go to see Coach and tell him what happened last night. This needs to be dealt with and I’m going to damn well do something right for once in my life.”
He went and pulled his coat on.
Faith suddenly realized that now that Chase was doing what she’d hoped he might do, a big part of her wished he wouldn’t. “I’ll come with you,” she said, reaching for her purse, but Chase was already shaking his head no.
“You can’t come,” he told her. “I need to handle this alone. It might take awhile and I don’t want you sitting around waiting. You just hang here and I’ll be back before you know it.” Chase started buttoning his coat.
“But I don’t want to be alone here. I’m scared,” she implored.
He smiled and his eyes were softer, as if his new direction had eased his mind somewhat. “Listen, you hang here and take a bath, read, watch some TV, and just try and relax. When I come back, we’ll make up for lost time.”
Faith nodded miserably. Already she missed him fiercely.
Chase, sensing this, walked back over and took her by the hips and gave her a sensual, long kiss that made her legs feel weak.
“Hold tight, beautiful,” he told her, and then he was leaving the apartment, and Faith was left in the quiet, wondering once again what she’d gotten herself into.
* * *
She’d spent as much time as possible not thinking about what might be taking Chase so long, or what had happened when he’d reported to the team about what had transpired between Velcro and Monique at the hotel the previous night.
But after she’d had a long bath, read a few magazines, and then gotten out and spent time brushing out her hair, and watching TV…the silence was becoming oppressive.
Night was falling and she’d texted him to ask where he was and how much longer it would be.
What could possibly be taking Chase so long? She wondered, and the anxiety started up.
The pit in her stomach became more and more pronounced with every fifteen-minute chunk of time that went by without hearing a word from Chase Winters.
Soon, the anxiety had turned to anger.
She got a text from Chase at about nine o’clock at night.
Got tied up with a few things. Be home later.
Faith texted him back, asking for details, asking exactly when he planned to come back, telling him that he should’ve at least called because she was worried.
But he didn’t respond to any of her texts, and when she called his phone, it went straight to voicemail.
She didn’t like it, not one bit.
Faith started reading all of the texts that had been sent to her phone since the game had ended. Many of them were people she knew—friends telling her sorry, telling her to give their prayers to Chase, and that he would be better next game.
From the texts that most folks sent, you’d have thought Chase had been in some kind of horrible, disfiguring accident rather than simply losing his second-straight football game.
Some people wrote nastier comments, seeming to take their anger with Chase out on Faith.
Even her father had left a slurred, rambling voicemail giving her a list of improvements that Chase needed to make in his passing motion to fix his accuracy issues.
But it was the messages from her sister that stood out. In those messages, there was only concern for Faith herself, and little to do with Chase.
Maybe that was why Faith found herself calling her little sister, much the same as she’d done the previous day when she’d been so upset.
“I was thinking about you,” Krissi answered right away.
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before now, but it’s been crazy,” Faith said. She was curled up in the bedroom with the television on, but the volume turned low.
“I figured, “ Krissi said. “Are you doing better now?”
“I don’t know,” Faith said, sighing at her own dramatics. “Aren’t I supposed to be the older, mature sister that you come to for advice?”
“Apparently not.” Krissi laughed.
In the background on Krissi’s end, Faith heard some shouting, as if off in the distance.
“Is Dad drunk again?” Faith sighed.
“Well, it’s Sunday and New England got clobbered. What do you think?”
“Don’t tell him you’re on the phone with me,” Faith said. “He keeps calling and leaving messages about the things Chase needs to do to be a better player. I won’t talk to him when he’s drunk and being ridiculous.”
“Forget about Dad,” Krissi said. “Tell me about you.”
Faith rolled her eyes. “Where do I start?”
“Start at what’s wrong. Tell me the truth.”
“The truth is that there’s some bad things going on with Chase, and I don’t know what to do about it. He’s trying hard to fix the situation, and it’s not even his fault, but I don’t know…” she trailed off, thinking about how he’d disappeared and only texted her once since leaving to go talk to his coach.
Krissi sounded calm but slightly annoyed just the same. “I can’t really help when you won’t tell me the full situation, Faith.”
“I can’t tell you,” she admitted. “It’s not something that I can take chances with. The stuff he’s let me in on is very, very personal and serious. Some of it could possibly impact his career forever.”
“But I’m not worried about him—I want to know how its affecting you,” Krissi said, her voice more forceful. “What about you?”
Faith slid up in bed, thinking more about it. “It’s affecting me pretty badly at the moment. Chase losing the game today was just the tip of the iceberg.”
“And the things he said at the press conference after?” Krissi said. “People think he’s gone crazy.”
“They do?”
“Go on Twitter or read the news about it,” Krissi said.
“No, I don’t think I should.” But already she was turning the channel to ESPN.
“I can’t imagine how he’s dealing, or how you’re dealing with him.”
“I’m not really dealing with it. It’s his battle to fight, not mine.”
“But not for long,” Krissi told her. “Soon, these things will be on your shoulders, too. You’re his girlfriend.”
Somehow, despite the fact that Krissi wasn’t saying it as a positive, Faith still thrilled at the thought of being Chase’s girlfriend. She’d never really thought it could happen to her and yet here it was.
“I am his girlfriend, aren’t I?”
“Just promise me you’ll be careful. You can’t fix him, Faith.”
“I know. I know I can’t.”
Krissi let that point go and they spent the rest of the conversation talking about Krissi and school and what her plans were.
It was a relief to forget about Chase being gone and not knowing where he’d disappeared to. It was nice to think about someone other than herself or her mysterious boyfriend, if just for a few moments.
* * *
It was late when the front door opened.
Faith had dozed off in the bedroom, and she jumped when the door creaked open and she heard voices and laughter.
Immediately, her stomach lurched and she felt very
afraid. Someone had broken in again and there was nowhere to run. She grabbed for her phone and saw a text there from Chase that she’d missed because she’d been sleeping.
Be home in a minute.
He’d sent it just around half an hour ago. Still, it was little consolation, and she was furious thinking about how unconcerned he’d been with her waiting around for him all night without a clue as to where he was.
The voices downstairs grew more raucous.
“Baby?” she heard Chase yell, and then whoever was with him laughed.
Faith felt another shot of fear rushing through her body, and she wondered why. Why was she scared when she knew Chase was down there? Whoever he was with—it didn’t matter.
Chase would never hurt her and he’d never let anybody hurt her.
But she was afraid, and that made her even angrier.
She walked out of the bedroom and looked down the stairs to see a shock that almost made her turn and run.
Boogie was standing there with Chase, and the two of them were both holding beer cans and their eyes were bloodshot, as if they’d been partying together.
“There you are,” Chase said loudly, and she knew instantly he was drunk. It reminded her of her father, and that made her stomach turn sour.
“Here I am,” she said, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms. “I guess you figured I’d be dumb enough to wait around for you. Turns out you were right.”
“Baby,” Chase said, holding out his arms. “Don’t be like that.”
“Aw, she’s just a little bit mad,” Boogie said, swigging from his can and pulling out what looked like a cigar and stuffing it in the corner of his mouth. “You know how the lady-folk get when their men go out partying at night and leave ‘em home alone.”
“Lady folk?” Faith said, her tone acid. “You don’t even know a thing about me.” She turned to Chase, who was smirking like a guilty teenager. “And you brought him into the house after what he did…the guy broke in and stole from you.”
“I told you, it’s complicated,” Chase said as he walked up the stairs. “Don’t be mad. Let me explain.” His voice was thick and his words slightly slurred. His eyes were glassy.