by Marta Perry
But he wouldn’t let their relationship get any closer than friendship. He was just plain no good at the emotional stuff. He’d treat Laura the way he would any other friend, like Jerry, for instance. He grinned. Laura, with her slim figure, creamy skin and that riot of dark hair falling to her shoulders, wasn’t remotely like Jerry.
Laura swung the door open and gave him a rather wary look. “Ryan.” She smiled at Jerry and held out her hand. “And you must be Jerry. Thank you so much for coming. You’re a real lifesaver.”
Jerry stumbled over his own feet. “Sure, no problem. Glad to do it.”
Right. Ryan gave his erstwhile buddy a shove. “Let’s get moving, Jerry. This stuff is heavy.”
Laura’s eyebrows lifted. “Are you planning to help with the plastering?”
“Sure thing.” He scanned the jeans and sweatshirt she wore. “You?”
“Since Jerry’s fitting my job in as a favor, of course I’m going to help.” She turned and started up the stairs.
“Come this way.”
Jerry doing it as a favor? Only because he’d pushed him into it.
He shot Jerry a disgusted look, and Jerry grinned back, clearly not a bit sorry. They jostled each other as they started up the stairs.
They came out into the big open room at the top of the stairs. Laura had put all the lights on, making the space even more desolate.
“I know it doesn’t look like much.” She seemed to be reading their thoughts. “But once the plaster is repaired and I can paint the walls, it will make a huge difference. The woodwork is in good shape, and so is that beautiful pressed-tin ceiling.”
Jerry was looking around with a professional eye. “This is really not too bad. With the three of us working, we ought to make good headway.” He gave Laura a smile that set Ryan’s teeth on edge.
“What about this wall?” He tapped the nearby partition that split the room awkwardly. “Didn’t you tell me it’s coming down?”
“Right.” Laura sketched an opening with her hand.
“My buyer wants this space open and light. She plans to open a vintage clothing store in the downstairs, and this will be her workroom.”
“Well, let’s give her what she wants,” Jerry said. “Ryan, how about if you haul some water.”
He might have known Jerry would give him the donkey work. Still, if carrying water got the room finished and Jerry out of here, that would be worth it. He grabbed a couple of buckets and headed for the sink.
Some of his irritation ebbed away as they worked. No matter how much of a clown Jerry had been in high school, he seemed to know his stuff. He and Laura were soon well-covered in plaster as they tried to master getting the stuff onto the wall instead of themselves. Jerry just kept whistling away, the smooth strokes of his trowel turning dismal into pristine.
“Okay, buddy, I have to admit it.” Ryan stopped for a moment’s rest, admiring the swath of smooth plaster.
“You actually do know what you’re doing.”
“Hey, my dad insisted I had to live up to his standards. Just like you and your dad.”
“Maybe so.” His father wasn’t totally reconciled to the idea of the arson squad, but at least he wasn’t openly hostile to it.
It’s not as if Ryan wants to become a plumber, Seth had pointed out when things got noisy.
“Yeah, who would believe when we were back in high school that we’d actually turn into responsible citizens?” Jerry grinned at Laura. “That guy was the worst.” He jerked his head toward Ryan. “Talk about taking stupid chances!”
“I seem to remember that about him.” If Laura was thinking about what he’d been foolish enough to confide in her, she didn’t show it. “But he always seemed to land on his feet, like a cat with nine lives.”
“Would you mind not talking about me as if I weren’t here?” Ryan asked plaintively. “I do have feelings, you know.”
Jerry hooted at that. “Put your feelings on hold and get back to work, buddy. We’ve got a wall to finish.”
Surprisingly enough, they did finish. Laura looked about ready to collapse by the time the final section was done, and Ryan wasn’t far behind. Jerry, on the other hand, looked perfectly ready to go on and plaster another acre or two of wall. Still whistling, he picked up two buckets and headed for the stairs.
When Laura started to pick up an armload of equipment to carry down, Ryan caught her arm. Her skin warmed under his fingers, and he had to remind himself again. A friend. Just a friend.
“Forget about that stuff. Jerry and I will load everything. I’m sure you want to check on Mandy and sink into a hot tub.”
Laura raised those dark level brows. “Are you implying I’m dirty?”
“Only about as bad as I am.” He grinned. “Go on. We’ll take care of the clean-up.”
He thought she’d argue, but she just nodded.
He turned toward the steps and then stopped when she touched his arm in turn.
“Do you have a minute? There’s something I want to ask you.”
More questions about the investigation? If so, she was going to be angry with him all over again.
“Sure. What?”
“Will you forgive me?”
That startled him. “For what?”
“You know.” Her dark eyes were very serious. “I was wrong to try and pump you about the case. And wrong to get upset when you couldn’t answer me. You’re just doing your job.”
The tension inside him eased, making him realize how much the breach between them had bothered him. “Forget it. Look, we both know how awkward this situation is. If I could tell you anything, I would. You know that.”
“Yes.” There was something reserved about her smile that he didn’t quite understand. “You and your family have been good friends.”
Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows. “You make that sound like it’s in the past. We plan to go on being good friends, if you’ll let us.”
“Of course.”
“In that case, I’ll be back Thursday to help with the painting. It’s my day off.”
For an instant he thought she’d make an excuse to put him off. Then she nodded.
She was agreeing, wasn’t she? Still, he could sense something held back.
He hesitated. He could press her. But if he did, he’d be violating his own promise to himself. Be a friend, but stay out of emotional territory.
That was what was best for both of them. He knew that. So why did it feel so wrong to accept her agreement at face value and turn away?
Stomach churning, Laura turned the ignition one more time, to be greeted by a click and relentless silence. Why now, of all times?
A tap on the car window made her turn. Ryan stood there, looking ready to work in faded jeans and a polo shirt. She opened the door.
“Your battery is dead.”
“Thanks, but I already figured that out.” She slid out, fumbling in her bag for her cell phone. “I’ll have to call a cab. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know not to come, but something came up at the last minute.”
He opened the rear door, helping Mandy out and responding to her smile and hug.
“You don’t have to call a cab. You can take my car.” He fished the keys from his pocket and held them out to her.
It would be yet another favor she owed him. “Then you’ll be stuck here.”
“I can get on with the painting.”
The man had an answer for everything. “I don’t think—” She stopped, realizing that Mandy was tugging at her sleeve. “What is it, honey?”
Mandy’s hands flew, and then she attached herself to Ryan’s pant leg.
He grinned. “Even I could figure that one out. Sure, I’ll be glad to drive you.”
She looked, exasperated, from one smiling face to the other. “You don’t even know where we’re going.”
“Doesn’t matter. I have all day.” He took Mandy’s hand and led her to his car, parked behind hers. “Do you want me to move her booster seat?”
She glanced at her watch. She’d wasted too much time already, trying to get her bucket of bolts to cooperate. “I’ll get it.”
In the few minutes it took to move the booster seat and get Mandy settled, she’d given herself a short lecture on attitude. She should be glad Ryan had shown up. He was just being a friend, and she had too few of those to scare one away.
“Thanks.” She slid into the passenger seat of his car and buckled her seat belt. “That clunker of mine has a way of dying at the worst times.”
“It’s no problem.” Ryan started the car. “Where are we going?”
“The hospital. Dr. Marsh’s office called, and they had a cancellation. He can see Mandy this morning.”
“That is good news.” He glanced at the back seat. Mandy was engrossed in the book she’d brought. The puppy book, of course. She’d been obsessed with it since that visit to the farm. “Does she understand what’s going on?”
“A little. I’ve tried to explain the whole thing to her, but since her hearing has gotten so much worse, I’m afraid she’s forgotten what it’s like to hear much of anything.”
“Why does she wear the hearing aids, then? I mean, if they don’t really help?”
“Her therapist recommended using them, just in case she’s picking up some sounds. And it keeps her used to having something on her ear, so that it’ll be easier when she has the implant.”
He nodded. “I remember seeing a picture of a child wearing one. The part that shows is the microphone, right?”
“How did you know that?” Most people didn’t.
“Looked it up on the Internet.” He grinned. “It’s amazing what you can find. I actually now know enough not to embarrass myself when you talk about the implant.”
For a moment she couldn’t speak. Ryan barely knew them, and he’d gone to the trouble of researching Mandy’s problems. It contrasted so sharply with Jason’s reaction when he’d learned that their daughter was deaf.
“That was thoughtful of you.” She had to clear her throat because her voice had gone husky.
“I’m interested. So, if all goes well today, do you think they’ll get the procedure on the calendar soon?”
“I hope so.” A shiver went down her spine. Soon. She had to get the house finished, because if she didn’t succeed with the sale—
No, she wasn’t going to think that. It would work out. It had to.
“It’s going to be okay.” Ryan seemed to be reading her thoughts again. “I have a good feeling about it. Your buyer is going to love what you’ve done.”
“I keep telling myself everything will go the way I want.” She glanced in the rearview mirror. “This procedure is Mandy’s best chance at a hearing life. I can’t let anything interfere with her getting the implant.”
“And then what happens?” Ryan kept his eyes on the road. “You won’t leave Suffolk, will you?”
“I’d like to stay here,” she said carefully. Don’t read too much into it, she told herself. He’s asking as a friend, that’s all. “Mandy will need therapy for a while to learn to make best use of the implant, and this is a good place for her to get it.”
“So you’ll stay.”
“I’ll still have to find another place to live. And a part-time job.” Even if she got the price she expected for the building, her finances would be tight for some time.
“It’ll happen.” He reached across to pat her hand.
“You’ll see. Suffolk is a good place to live, and you have friends here.”
Friends, including Ryan. The hospital came into view ahead of them, and she couldn’t help the involuntary way her hand clasped his.
“It’s going to be okay,” he repeated, and squeezed her hand.
They were simple words. The kind of words she used to reassure Mandy when things went wrong. Every mother said that, probably.
She just hadn’t realized how much she’d longed to hear them herself. Longed to have someone tell her things were going to be all right.
Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them back quickly. She took pride in standing on her own. She did.
But she couldn’t deny how good it felt to have someone with her. Someone who understood and cared, even as a friend.
She looked at that thought, appalled at what it implied. She’d been telling herself that she didn’t want anything from Ryan except friendship. She’d actually begun to believe it.
But turning into the hospital lot, knowing that soon she’d confront the possibility that Mandy’s implant would be a reality, she longed for more.
She took a deep breath. It doesn’t matter what you want. Ryan is offering friendship, nothing else.
That was true. She knew it.
Unfortunately she also knew she ought to admit another truth to herself, even if she never told Ryan. Her feelings for him had already gone beyond friendship, and there was nothing she could do about that.
Was there anything worse than sitting in a hospital waiting room? Ryan tried not to fidget. This room wasn’t like the emergency room where he’d waited more than once for news about another firefighter. People sat here for ordinary appointments, not life-threatening emergencies.
But lives would still be changed by what was going on in the exam room where Dr. Marsh examined Mandy and Laura waited for his verdict. If he’d had the right to go in with them, maybe he could have helped.
No. That was a stupid idea. He didn’t have the kind of relationship with Laura that would permit that. Even if he did, she might still have wanted to go in alone. That fierce determination to have the best for her child didn’t even let her see anyone else just now.
The tiger-like ferocity of her love was more than a little scary to someone like him. Face it, he’d gotten through life on a combination of charm and physical prowess. He’d always thought that was plenty for anyone.
But neither of those qualities was of much use to Laura and Mandy right now.
He propelled himself out of the brown plastic chair and paced across the room. The rack next to the receptionist’s desk had an assortment of pamphlets, some on cochlear implants. He snatched a few and stalked back to his chair.
He’d managed to hold up his end of a short conversation, thanks to his Internet research, but it sure wouldn’t hurt to know a little more about something that was so important to Laura and Mandy. He owed them that, as a friend.
They came out, and he stuffed the pamphlets into his pocket and went to meet them.
“So, how’d it go?”
Mandy held up a coloring book that showed a child in a hospital bed. She pulled a green lollipop out of her mouth. She smiled, showing him a green tongue.
“It looks as if Mandy liked Dr. Marsh. How about you?”
He could feel Laura’s tension without touching her, and his nerves sprang to attention. If the appointment had gone badly—
“He says Mandy is an excellent candidate for the procedure.” Tears filled Laura’s eyes, and she dashed them away with the back of her hand. “It’s stupid to cry about it when I’m happy.”
He caught her hand. “It seems like a pretty good reason to me.”
She gave him a watery smile. “I guess. Why don’t we get out of here?”
When they were in the car, she began giving him a blow by blow account of everything Marsh had said and done. He wasn’t dumb enough to think that made him anyone special. He was just there, and she needed to talk. He drove and listened until she finally seemed to run down.
“When does he think he’ll do the procedure?” he prompted.
He glanced into the rearview mirror as he turned into Laura’s street. Mandy caught his gaze and smiled, as if to share some secret happiness. A ridiculous warmth swept through him.
“Ten days. If all the tests go well, they’ll schedule the surgery in ten days.”
“That sounds like disbelief in your voice.”
She pushed a strand of curly dark hair behind her ear in a gesture he’d seen often. “I guess it is
. I’ve been driving toward this for so long without thinking about anything else. Now that it’s almost here, I don’t know what to feel.”
“Elation? Apprehension?” He’d probably feel both of those if Mandy were his daughter. Maybe he did anyway.
“Both.” Her lips curved. “Add in some plain old fear, and you’re on the right track.”
He reached across to catch her hand and squeeze it. “She’ll be all right. You said yourself that Dr. Marsh is the best person for the job. And in just eleven days the procedure will be over and you’ll be celebrating.”
“Well, I might save the celebration for another month. Mandy has to heal from the surgery before they activate the implant. Probably a month, he said.”
“That’s not long to wait.”
“No.” Her breath caught in an audible gasp. “I’ve got to get the house done. The hospital requires a deposit in advance from people who don’t have insurance.”
“You’ll be done. Look how far you’ve come already.” He drew up to the building. “I have the rest of the day free, so I’ll help with the painting.”
Laura looked as if she’d stopped listening. Instead she was looking at a white paper that fluttered from a piece of tape on her front door. Apprehension darkened her eyes.
“Now what?”
He slid out. “I’ll get Mandy. Go ahead and see what that is.”
Nothing, probably. How important could it be? But a chill seemed to brush his skin. Laura had had too many little things going wrong lately.
When he and Mandy reached her, she was crumpling the paper in her hand. She looked as if she’d like to do the same to whoever had written it.
“What’s going on?”
She shoved the paper at him, as if inviting him to read it, and turned to unlock the door. “Honestly, I think that committee is on a power binge. What will they want me to add next—an original nineteenth-century outhouse?”
He smoothed the note out. Bradley Potter. He should have known.
“Well, that complaint is just ridiculous. How do they expect security lights to ‘blend in to the existing ambience’ of the structure? They didn’t have security lights then.”