A Traitorous Heart

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by Tammy Jo Burns


  “Gosh.”

  “My thoughts exactly. Here, have some breakfast before we start your lessons.”

  “You mean you really want to teach me?”

  “Of course. Do you want to learn?”

  “I guess,” he shrugged taking a bite of ham.

  “Use your silverware.”

  “What?”

  “Like this,” Tessa showed him how to use the fork and knife to cut up his food.

  “I’ve never eaten anything that you had to eat with something besides your hand.”

  “Well, now you have.” She watched as he dipped into the eggs and took a bite. He closed his eyes as he chewed.

  “This is Heaven, my lady.”

  “Please call me Tessa.”

  “Tisn’t proper.”

  “It’s all right. Apparently I’m not very proper.”

  “But I can’t.”

  “How about we compromise? Will Lady Tessa work for you?”

  “I suppose.”

  Once they finished breakfast they found the library and retired there for the rest of the morning. When Luke quit looking around admiring everything about him, he dove into his studies. The boy learned quickly. Midway through the day, Derek located them bent over some objects. Their heads were close together and he could not quite make out what they were saying. He had wanted to check on Tessa after this morning.

  “Pardon me, am I interrupting?”

  The boy quickly shook his head, but Tessa spoke up.

  “As a matter of fact you are.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. Luke is having his first lesson.”

  “Concerning?”

  “We are doing sums right now. In a while we will begin with reading and spelling.”

  “I see. Do you mind if I speak with you in private for a moment?”

  “Yes, I do. We are in the middle of something and I want to keep going.” She felt a small foot kick at her shin under the table, but ignored it. She did not want to rehash the events of this morning right now and Derek had that look about him that indicated that was exactly what he wanted to discuss.

  “Contessa,” Derek began.

  Ignoring him she turned to Luke and pointed at a spot on the paper. “What is this number?” she questioned him.

  “Seven,” he mumbled the answer. Derek let loose an expletive as he turned and left the room. “I wish you hadn’t done that.” Luke said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Now he’s going to be mad at me because you were too busy helping me to talk to him. He’ll send me back to the docks, and I do so love the horses.”

  “Don’t be silly. He isn’t mad at you. If anything, he will be peeved at me, but I promise he will not take it out on you. And if he does take you to the docks, I will just go down there, find you, and bring you back. Then I will send him to the docks!”

  “Oh no, Lady Tessa. The docks are no place for a lady. Bad things happen to women who live around the docks. Promise me you’ll never go down there,” Luke’s voice quavered with worry.

  “I promise,” she wrapped an arm around him, hugging him to her. “Now let’s get on with your lesson. If you are as quick with your letters, you will be reading and spelling in no time.”

  The boy grinned widely at her before telling her the next number she pointed to. The next thing they knew Tessa’s stomach rumbled loudly. She put down the pencil she held and stretched. Luke did the same, mimicking her moves.

  “How would you like to eat with Miss Kala and me? She is upstairs in her room, but we could sneak our plates up there.”

  “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want us to get in trouble.”

  “By whom? I am mistress of this house,” she replied.

  “But what about Lord Blackburn?”

  “He is probably back with the tenants talking about crops and livestock.” So the two filled their plates and glasses and crept up the stairs to Kala’s room. Tessa knocked on the door, juggling her plate and cup before peeking in. “Are you decent?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “I have a guest with me.”

  “Who?” Tessa pushed open the door with her foot and let Luke pass into the room. “Lucas,” Kala exclaimed. “Have you come to keep me company?”

  “Yes, miss,” a shy grin lit his features. A maid entered behind them carrying a tray, and settled it on Kala’s lap. She gave the trio an odd look, but left the room without saying a word.

  “The staff will be talking.”

  “Let them,” Tessa muttered. A quarter hour later, they were all so busy talking, laughing, and eating that they failed to see the lord of the manor peek into the room. Hurt that he had been left out of the festivities, he closed the door and returned to work.

  Chapter 17

  The next few days passed in a similar pattern. Each night Derek introduced her to a new area of intimacy, and then they would fall asleep in each other’s arms. Every morning she woke to a gift on her pillow and his nibbling at her lips. He would give her a wink, whisper good morning in her ear and then leave her to prepare for the day.

  She would then call for Luke and sequester herself with him for much of the day. At the noon meal, she and Luke attempted to bring some fun to Kala who found herself forced to stay abed by her feisty little maid. Derek came in exhausted each evening, yet excited after meeting and working with his tenants all day. After he cleaned up, they shared a meal and then retired to the comfort of the library. Each would share events of the day and Tessa told him things she had begun to remember.

  Three days passed since that morning he brought her those first flowers. She found herself alone this afternoon because Luke had begged her to be allowed to work with the horses, and Kala napped per Sarah’s orders. She attempted to pass the afternoon reading but failed miserably. Frustrated, she put down the book and leaned back against the high-back chair.

  She looked out the bow window, and watched two birds playing tag. She loved this room and everything about it. She loved the smell of the old leather, wood, and books and the warmth of the wood. The last few days had been such a welcome calm and quiet, that she actually had been able to beckon forth even more memories.

  She remembered a finishing school that she had attended for a year after her mother had died from a lung infection. Tessa had gone to live with her mother’s Aunt Katherine since her father had been stationed abroad. She had dearly loved Aunt Katherine and the woman truly thought the finishing school the best thing for Tessa. Tessa had wanted only to be with her father. Aunt Katherine had been so determined to make her into the success that her mother hadn’t been, having chosen a military man instead of a peer of the realm.

  “My dear sister cried for weeks when your mother ran off with her military man. She could have done so much better. You know a duke courted her, but she would not have him,” she paused and looked at Tessa. “All things happen for a reason. But you, m’dear, shall be different. I can feel it in my bones. You are going to make a fine match.”

  Tessa had not wanted to hurt the dear old woman’s feelings, so she suffered the school for a year and then came home to care for her aunt when she had fallen ill. Tessa’s nursing skills could not save Aunt Katherine. They held the funeral on a rainy morning and that afternoon, Tessa found herself shipped off to yet another relative, this time a cousin with three small children.

  Her cousin’s wife instantly decided that Tessa would be the nanny for the children while they took their place back in society. The children were sweet, her cousin and his wife indifferent, and she still very much missed her father. A year and a half later, she took what little money she had collected and left in search of her father. She still could not remember much about her journey to him, only that someone escorted her. Someone both she and her father trusted.

  She kept trying to put a name and face together, but instead only grew frustrated. She let her mind float sitting there in that chair staring out into the yard hoping to slip more pieces of the puzzle to
gether. Something soft touched her face causing Tessa to jump and let out a small shriek only to hear her husband chuckling behind her.

  “Blackburn, do not sneak up on a person,” Tessa reprimanded him. He chuckled and bent down to bestow a kiss on her lips and hand her a single yellow rose. She took a moment to admire how the laughter made him appear younger, more carefree, while she sniffed deeply of the rose’s spicy scent. “Just what do you find so funny?”

  “Lately, whenever you are scolding me, you call me Blackburn. You mean for it to be a set down, I know, but I can’t help but find it endearing.” He took a seat on the arm of the chair. “Where were you just now?”

  “In the chair,” she sassed back.

  “I have married a funny woman,” he teased, tweaking her nose. “You looked lost in thought.”

  “I remembered staying with an aunt and cousin after mama’s death,” she said. “I am getting more and more pieces but I fear it will not be enough.”

  “One day at a time,” Derek replied.

  “It is almost as if we are waiting for the proverbial ax to fall. I know what the doctor said, but perhaps you could give me some hints.”

  “I cannot do that, no matter how bad I want to. I do not want to cause more damage.”

  “But what none of you seem to understand is that I am living with a blank slate. Do you understand what that means? No, you do not,” she exclaimed, pushing up out of the chair, frustrated. She took to pacing the room. “You know who you are and where you came from. You know where you were ten months ago. But. I. Do. Not.” She finished, her back to him, her hands fisted tightly at her side. “Worse, the painting of my past is starting to fill in, but there are large gaping holes which is worse than not remembering anything.”

  “I am just as much a victim as you.”

  She whirled around to face him, an incredulous look on her face.

  “Oh please, the only way that you are a victim is that you are sexually deprived and that is my fault too, is it not?”

  “Tessa, I never said...”

  “Oh, I know you would never say it, but it is obvious. Everything in this situation is my fault. It is probably my fault that the soldiers caught me that night. It is my fault that he attacked Kala, and it is my fault we cannot consummate our relationship. It will be my fault if I am found to be a traitor to the country. The scars on my back are probably even my fault, but what can I do about it? Not a damn thing, because I cannot remember!” She shrieked at him unable to hold back any longer.

  “I lost my wife and you do not think that doesn’t count as being a victim?” They stood toe to toe now staring at each other. Derek took a deep breath and attempted to bring his emotions under control. “Tessa, please, we have been doing so well.”

  “No, please,” she stopped him. “Today I need space. I need to check on Kala,” she said, sweeping out of the room to avoid his gaze. Tessa ran up the stairs to her room and collected herself before going on to see her sister-in-law. She gave a brisk knock before opening the door. “How are you feeling?” she asked with just a little too much cheeriness.

  “Thank goodness. Rescue me! Sarah will not let me leave my bedroom and I am going crazy. It has been three days. Please,” she rasped.

  “Where is she?” Tessa looked around warily, fully conscious of how much of a bully Sarah could be when she perceived one to be ill.

  “She went downstairs to get me soup. I just want to go into the garden for a little while.”

  “All right.”

  “I thought I would have to work harder than that.”

  ”I’m going a bit stir crazy myself,” she shrugged. “Now get dressed quickly before she comes back.” Kala nodded and quickly changed into a creamy yellow walking dress. Tessa grabbed a blanket off the chaise that Sarah must have been using at night and the two headed outside. “Your bruises are looking better.”

  “Yes, but my voice is still quite gravelly sounding.”

  “I think it makes you mysterious.”

  “Oh please, it makes me sound like I have a case of the ague. Let’s walk to the folly.”

  “Derek showed it to me the other night.”

  “Did he?”

  “Yes, but only from the house.”

  “It is a little open room that looks over the park. My great-uncle had it built many years ago as a gift to his wife for giving him a daughter. You will absolutely love it.”

  “Did they ever have a son?”

  “Only one that survived childbirth, the idiot. Their daughter died at a young age. But Percival still adored his wife and would bring her to the folly and they would stay out there for hours on end. They had a very unique relationship to be a ton match.”

  They walked on and Kala pointed out various things along the way to the folly. When they came upon it, Tessa stood, admiring it. It had a Roman feel to it with ten columns spaced around the circumference. It contained a daybed and a small table with chairs large enough for two people to eat at. At the center, the domed ceiling added five feet to the structure. A mural took up the inside of the entire ceiling, a rendition of a fairy-tale castle with a damsel leaning out of an upper window. On the damsel’s left a dragon breathed fire and on her right a knight sat astride a white stallion in full armor. Across from the castle were several lines of verse.

  My knight has come to slay

  the dragon that haunts me.

  My love has come to stay

  and he completes me.

  “They were both a bit on the romantic side,” Kala said dryly.

  “I think it sweet.” Tessa said as she threw the blanket over the daybed. They each took an end and curled up on it. “How did Derek inherit all this since it went through his mother?”

  “A special proclamation by the King.”

  “The King?”

  “Yes. He was a dear friend of Percival’s and a distant cousin of Marabel, Percival’s wife. I think some people believe he did it during one of his fits of madness that no one is to speak of, but regardless it is legal. We always knew a chance remained that it would happen, but kept hoping Thomas would straighten up and do his duty. Derek really did not want the title and does not care for the ton.”

  “Thomas?”

  “The idiot. Derek truly seems most happy working and doing whatever it is he and Gabe do.”

  “So I gathered.” The two women became silent, lost in their own thoughts. Tessa studied the wildlife gathering at the pond and found it to be a tranquil bucolic scene. Fish jumped out of the water to feed on insects. A doe and her fawn glided up on the far side of the pond to drink. Tessa felt her eyes grow heavy and the stress of her earlier confrontation with Derek leave her. She looked over at Kala and saw she had already nodded off. Relaxing, she let the peace of the day take over her churning emotions. Within minutes she too slept.

  * * *

  Several hours after their argument, Derek remained locked in his study taking care of estate business that he had neglected. A knock sounded on the study door and Jones announced the Duke of Hawkescliffe.

  “Gabe, what brings you here?”

  “Checking on things. How’s your sister?”

  “Better.”

  He nodded and continued, “There has been something of a break. You were right. There was more to the papers than we originally thought. The culprit is clever. They used two codes entwined together. The decoders were finally able to interpret the rest of the papers that were in the packet found with Tessa.”

  “And?”

  “It contained information on future troop deployment and the movement of supplies. They also found a listing of spy missions that her father performed.”

  “Damn.”

  “My thoughts precisely. Derek, I have to take her in.”

  “On what? There is no proof that she is the one that actually kept record of that information. Gabe, I believe she is innocent and merely a pawn in a deadly game. She is getting her memory back. Please give me the time McKenzie indicated.”

/>   “The director is the one who wants to see her.”

  “He said a fortnight.”

  “He said that before he found out about the codes.”

  “You told him about the codes before you told me?”

  “Derek, you know what is going on in the office right now. I had to tell the bastard. Besides, you’re not thinking clearly.”

  “Yes, I am. She’s being set up.”

  “What if she is guilty? Have you thought of that? Perhaps you and Kala are in danger. What would happen then? Besides, I cannot allow any more time than what the director indicated.”

  “I am not in danger. She is remembering more and more every day. Gabe, give me the time the director first promised. If her memory isn’t back I will turn the situation over to you. I only ask that you not imprison her.” Derek knew he begged, but couldn’t help it. His wife’s life hung in the balance as well as their future. He had already begun making plans. If she did not have her full memory back by the end of next week, they would slip out of the country on the next boat to America.

  “I cannot make that kind of promise. Even to you,” Gabe stated harshly.

  “You’re supposed to be my best friend, dammit,” Derek slammed his hand down on his desk.

  “I am trying to look out for you, since you seem to have blinders on when it comes to her!” Gabe’s voice rose in anger and frustration.

  The clomping of shoes coming down the staircase and pausing outside the door interrupted the two men. It sounded as if someone had been running. In a moment, a knock sounded on the library door. After being allowed entrance, Jones bowed respectfully to the two gentlemen.

  “Your Grace, my lord. Forgive the interruption but Miss Mikala’s maid is quite distraught. It seems she has not been in her room for quite some time and neither is the Countess.”

  “Has the house been searched?” Panic made Derek’s heart begin a staccato beat.

  “Yes, my lord. As soon as Sarah alerted me we searched all the rooms. There is no sign of them and a blanket is missing from Miss Mikala’s room. It also appears she changed into day clothes.”

 

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