by Luna, David
“Do you…” Braden swallowed and tried again, “Do you resent me for wanting to know you better, for asking this of you?”
Cade took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He closed his eyes and brought his hands up to rub his face, then entwined his fingers behind his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Braden was awed at the strength of those huge, tatted arms and the muscles contained within. He’d be willing to bet they were almost as big as his own thighs. Thinking about how much strength ran through Cade’s body and how he’d used that body for most of his life to protect others, had him yearning to reach out to him. But the longer Cade took to answer, the more panicked Braden felt. If he’d known this was going to be Cade’s reaction to talking, to telling him about his military career, would he still have asked? Braden knew that in the end, the answer would be yes.
Braden was amazed at everything Cade had done in the Special Forces, and he was so damned proud of him. His partner was a fucking hero. He was so remarkable and Braden had a niggling feeling that Cade wouldn’t agree with that assessment. Braden didn’t want Cade to have to compartmentalize his work life from his life with him. He didn’t think that was fair to either one of them.
Maybe Cade needed some time alone after talking about his past. As much as he didn’t want to leave him alone when he was in pain, and Braden knew that’s exactly what was going on, maybe that’s what Cade needed. Braden didn’t want to push and didn’t want to mess up their relationship in any way. He looked at Cade who had tilted his head back and was now focused on the ceiling. Feeling a bit defeated, he released his legs. He scooted to the edge of the bed to get up and give Cade space. He went to stand up and then sucked in a startled breath when he was hauled back onto Cade’s legs, sitting sideways across his lap, gaping up at him in surprise. Cade looked deep into his eyes. “Don’t walk away from me right now. I’m holding on by a very thin thread, and you walking away would tip me over the edge.”
“I was gonna give you some time alone. You weren’t responding to my question, and I just thought you didn’t want me around while you were feeling so vulnerable. I didn’t want to pressure you.”
Cade rubbed his hand back and forth over his short hair and sighed. “I was trying to figure out how to answer you. First, let me say that I could never resent you for wanting to know me better, Braden. That’s not…”
Cade shook his head and closed his eyes again. Braden sat patiently and reached up to feather his fingers over Cade’s eyebrow and down to his cheek. Cade cleared his throat and tried again, “That’s not the case at all. I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done. I’d rather you didn’t know everything I just told you, and there’s more that I can’t share with you that’s worse. I had to do some pretty fucked up shit, and I’ve had some pretty fucked up shit done to me.”
Braden’s brow furrowed. “And you think I’ve lost respect for you, knowing this?”
Cade shrugged. “I don’t know, Bray. Yeah, maybe. Active duty Special Forces isn’t pretty. It isn’t glamorous. All that shit people read, hyping us up, it’s just so much bullshit. I’ve killed a lot of people, Braden. I don’t want my violent history bleeding over into our life, making you afraid of me. I couldn’t handle you looking at me like I’m a monster, thinking of me differently. And I realized I wouldn’t even blame you if you did.”
Braden slowly moved out of Cade’s arms and maneuvered himself back onto his lap, straddling his waist. He got as close to Cade as he could and looked him in the eyes. “You know what? I do look at you differently, Zavier.”
Pain etched itself across Cade’s face as he looked down as if he was ashamed. The sight of it broke Braden’s heart. He tilted Cade’s face back up toward his and whispered brokenly, “Before tonight, I thought of you as my protector, but you’re a fucking hero, Zavier. How dare you think of yourself as a monster or belittle the things you’ve done, serving our country. Do you think I’m so naïve that I had no idea that you had killed people?”
Cade shook his head. “I just—”
Braden put his hand over Cade’s lips and shook his head. “And how could you think I’d look at you with fear? You’d kill yourself before you ever touched me in anger. I’m so proud of what you’ve done and what you still continue to do to help people. God, your family must be so proud to have a son like you. Can’t you understand how amazing your achievements are? It would kill me to know that you aren’t proud of yourself.”
Cade looked at him for several long moments and then Braden could literally feel the stress leaving his body when he heaved a deep sigh. Cade smiled sadly. “I am proud of a lot of what I’ve done, but sometimes I feel that the bad things I did while active duty will never be eclipsed by the good that was done. It’s the biggest reason I got out when I did.”
Braden looked deep into Cade’s eyes. “I don’t see it that way. I think that you had to have known that you’d be ordered to do some pretty gruesome things in that line of work and that, deep down, you know that it was for the greater good. You have a career you can be proud of. I’ve never been more in love with you, never felt more attraction to you than I do right now.”
That gorgeous smile Braden knew he had finally showed up on Cade’s face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Want me to show you?”
Cade whispered gruffly, “What kind of a question is that?”
Braden smiled. “I’m going to show you how crazy in love with you I am. I’m going to prove to you that everything you just told me only made me fall more deeply for you.”
Braden leaned the scant few inches needed to capture Cade’s lips with his. He reached between them and lightly cupped Cade’s jaw in his hands and tilted his own head for a better angle. He could feel Cade’s breath quicken against his skin as they kissed. He began to roll his hips into Cade’s. His hips were tightly encased in Cade’s large hands as he helping to guide them. Braden kissed his way across Cade’s jaw. “Will you take your shirt off?”
Cade’s breath caught and he leaned forward, reached behind him and grabbed his t-shirt behind his neck yanking it over his head. Braden had no fucking clue why the way Cade removed his shirt like that made his stomach flip with arousal, but it did. Cade made to grab Braden’s hips again, but he scooted back toward Cade’s knees. “Can I take your boxer briefs off?”
Cade smirked, tilting his head, as if taking Braden’s measure. He licked his bottom lip and then planted his palms on the bed and lifted his hips, raising an eyebrow as if silently challenging Braden. Braden smiled and got to his knees. He leaned forward and slid his fingertips into the sides of Cade’s boxers and slowly pulled the tight material from Cade’s hips. As he did so, Cade’s hard cock emerged from the top of the boxers, and when they were lowered to his upper thighs, his cock rested on his lower abdomen, right between the v line made by his muscular abs. Leaving his boxers where they were, Braden leaned down and licked each line creating that gorgeous v. He then took Cade’s cock in his fist and squeezed and was rewarded with several drops of precum, which slid down the side of the fat mushroom head. Braden licked it up, taking the head into his mouth, and sucked. He heard Cade’s quick inhale and then his hand was in Braden’s hair pulling it back from his face and holding it tightly in his fist.
Braden kept his cock in his mouth but managed to angle his head to look up into Cade’s eyes. The desire he saw there took his breath away. He made a last lick at Cade’s cock and moved back, getting a tortured groan from Cade in response. He pulled Cade’s boxers the rest of the way off and continued to ask for what he wanted. “Will you turn over and lie face down?”
Once Cade complied, he removed his own boxers and t-shirt quickly, and put his hair up in his leather thong he swiped from the nightstand while straddling Cade’s lower back. He then laid down on top of Cade so that his lips were right next to Cade’s ear. He licked the edge of that ear and down his neck where he nipped at the juncture of neck and shoulder. He leaned up a bit and whispered, “I’m going to kiss and lick ever
y single scar on your body, worship every single inch of you that’s been damaged. See, I don’t see them as shameful reminders, I see them as badges of honor. They’re proof that you’ve used your body to protect others your whole adult life.”
Cade groaned loudly and buried his head in his pillow. Braden began licking and kissing his way along his left arm and then his right. He would lick and kiss each scar and then sometimes bite the tattooed area surrounding it. Cade hissed. “Your hair, why don’t I feel it?”
“I pulled it back.”
Cade turned his head to look over his shoulder at Braden. “Take it down. I need to feel it, baby. I’ve been waiting to feel it touch my skin when you kiss my body.”
Emotion swamped Braden. “Really?”
Cade gently turned over. He sat up and clasped Braden’s face in his hands. “Fuck, yes! I love that I can grab onto it, tug on it.” He did so, pulling on Braden’s tied back hair. “I’ve been looking forward to feeling it trail along and tickle my skin when you kiss me, when you suck my cock.”
Braden yanked out the thong, shook his head to loosen the silky strands and tossed the thong back where he’d gotten it. He smiled at Cade as his long fingers sifted through his now loose hair and tugged at it again. “I’ll never pull it back again when we’re making love.”
Cade slid his hands from Braden’s hair and skated them down over Braden’s shoulders. Continuing down, he gripped Braden’s forearms, looked at him sternly and when he spoke, his voice was deeper, raspy. “Don’t pull it back unless you’re at work or running.”
Braden could do nothing but nod as shivers slid over his skin at Cade’s tone. He glanced down to his arms where Cade held him firmly and saw the goosebumps there. Cade followed his eyes, saw them for himself, and ran his hands up and down Braden’s arms. When he glanced back up, satisfaction gleamed in his gaze. “Now, finish what you started, baby.”
With that, Cade lay back down, turned over, and moved his hands to his sides. When Braden scooted up to sit on Cade’s upper thighs, Cade palmed the sides of Braden’s calves, almost like he was grounding himself, getting himself ready for the onslaught of sensation to come. Braden kissed his shoulder blades, no longer worried about his hair getting in the way. Now that he knew how Cade felt about it, he’d use that to his advantage.
As he kissed and licked down Cade’s back, making sure to use his fingers to find every single dip and ridge resulting from Cade’s many scars, he felt Cade tremble below him. The fact that his kisses and the simple touch of his hair on Cade’s skin undid him, was remarkable to Braden. He loved that he could affect his lover so completely.
Braden thought about how much it turned him on when Cade talked dirty to him. He blushed just thinking about it, but he wanted to see if it made Cade react in the same way, if it made his body hum. He bolstered his courage, drew in a quiet breath, and whispered, “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as your body. You’re like a Greek sculpture.”
He trailed his tongue along Cade’s ass cheeks, moving down to lick, kiss, and bite his upper thighs. “You’re my warrior. So damned strong.”
He slid his knee between Cade’s legs, spreading his thighs open. He trailed his lips along the backs of his inner thighs. Cade let out a shaky breath. “Oh god, I knew your hair would feel good, but I had no idea, no fucking clue. You’re going to be the death of me, Bray.”
Braden chuckled and continued, massaging Cade’s thighs while he ran his lips over Cade’s calves, his hands reaching to knead the rounded globes of Cade’s ass cheeks. He couldn’t stay away any longer, so he made his way back up Cade’s ridiculously long legs. He sank his teeth into Cade’s round muscular ass and received a grunt in response and felt his body undulate underneath him. He took his palms and placed them on either ass cheek and slowly spread them open. “Oh, Z, look at you, so gorgeous.”
Braden leaned down and licked from Cade’s taint to the top of his ass and then back down to his center. He concentrated on drawing as much pleasure from Cade as possible. He laved and sucked his hole, something he’d never really liked in the past but was enjoying immensely with Cade. He felt Cade’s whole body tense and he moaned loudly as Braden speared his tongue against his pucker. Cade nearly unseated him when he bucked up against Braden, his voice guttural. “Oh fuck, Braden!”
Once Cade relaxed enough for him to slide his tongue inside, Braden held his cheeks as wide as he could get them and dove in. He gave Cade the rimming of his life, eliciting groans and grunts, Cade’s hips pushing back to meet Braden’s eager tongue. Once he had Cade on the fine edge of losing control, he pulled away. “Someday, if you give me permission, I’ll slide my cock deep inside of you. But tonight I’m going to ask permission for something else.”
Braden moved up, sliding his cock in the crease of Cade’s ass and lay down on his back, kissing and sucking his neck. He gripped Cade’s hands with his own and moved rhythmically back and forth. He was going insane with lust and could have come just from the friction alone, but he wasn’t done. He leaned up to Cade’s ear and bit down on his lobe. “Will you let me ride your cock?”
Cade groaned and clenched his fingers around Braden’s, his voice shaky. “Fuck yes, baby.”
“Will you turn over for me? I want to explore the rest of you.”
Once Cade turned over onto his back, Braden straddled his waist again, leaning forward to kiss Cade’s full lips. He moved on to Cade’s arms and kissed every scar. There was a particularly long one that slashed lengthwise up his inner forearm and then curved off to the side. He kissed it and licked it from one end to the other. “How bad was this one? You glossed over it, when you told me it was a defensive wound.”
“Bray…”
“How bad, Z?”
“Jackson had to apply a CAT above my—”
“What’s a CAT?”
“A combat application tourniquet.”
“Jesus,” Braden drew a breath in, sat back on his heels and rested his forehead to Cade’s sternum. He took a few deep breaths, all the while Cade’s hands caressing softly up and down his back. “I’m fine now. I can’t hide my past, it’s written itself all over my body, but that time in my life is over. Come on. Come on now, I need you with me.”
Cade’s fingers in his hair, pulling him up so he would look in his eyes, were exactly what Braden needed to bring him back to the present. They looked at each other for long moments, each lost in their own thoughts, but communicating such love to the other. He sat up, bracing himself on Cade’s chest with his hands before leaning over and opening his nightstand drawer to pull out his slick. He squeezed some on his fingers and reached around to ready himself. He got more lube, and then reached further back to get Cade’s cock slicked up. Desperate all of a sudden, he didn’t take time to prepare himself for Cade’s size. He pushed back and guided Cade’s cock to his entrance.
He heard Cade say, “Braden, I need to—” But it was too late. Once Braden pushed Cade’s cockhead in, he sank back and impaled himself on Cade’s cock. Braden squeezed his eyes tight at the intrusion. It was painful, but he felt so deliciously full and alive, he reveled in the discomfort. He sat still for a moment, enjoying Cade’s caresses that started at his shoulders and made their way down to his hips. He left no inch of Braden’s skin untouched and Braden’s body was on fire for him. He knew this was what they both needed, this life-affirming action. He couldn’t think of a more perfect way to celebrate the fact that they were both alive and desperately in love. Once his body adjusted to the intrusion, he began to slowly move his hips.
“That’s it, ride my cock, Bray. Fuck, you feel amazing.”
Braden hit his stride and was moving at a steady pace on top of Cade. His hands had finally stopped their exploration and settled on Braden’s hips. Fingers gripped Braden’s round ass cheeks, squeezing at the same tempo as his thrusts. Cade suddenly gripped his hips on an upward stroke, so he had to pause his movements. With his knees bent for leverage, Cade began lifting his own body, thrustin
g in and out of Braden at a fast pace. Braden was in sensory overload, having never felt anything like it.
Cade was relentless and continued to hold Braden in place for the pounding and pistoned his hips so hard and fast Braden could only grip Cade’s biceps and hold on for the ride. Just when he was sure Cade couldn’t continue much longer, he growled between clenched teeth and picked up the pace, giving Braden the pounding of his life, pegging his prostate with every thrust. He felt a tingling in the base of his spine, muscles clenching as he felt his orgasm build.
He hadn’t realized his eyes were closed and that he was making noise until Cade ground out, “Look at me. Keep your eyes on me when I’m fucking you. Mmmm, I love those little noises.”
Braden’s eyes popped open as he moaned, Cade’s thrusts continuing. “Please. Can I—”
Cade’s forehead was sweaty, his jaw clenched. He glanced down as Braden’s hand reached for his cock. “Oh fuck, yes. Jerk it.”
Braden gripped his cock in his fist and began pumping it in time with Cade’s thrusts. He was so close to orgasm his moans turned to whimpers. He braced his other hand on Cade’s chest while he quickened his pace. He let out a strangled plea and Cade’s eyes met his. “Yes. Cum for me, baby. Cum all over me!”
Braden had no fucking clue what it was about that deep, guttural voice Cade used when issuing those sexy commands, but he shot off the biggest load he’d ever had and he moaned and whimpered as it just kept coming. When he heard Cade grunt as the first stream of Braden’s cum hit his chest, Cade shot his own load, deep into Braden’s ass. He could feel each pulse while he was held in place as Cade’s pace slowed. Their combined orgasm was something Braden knew he would never forget. As the last streams of their cum left their bodies, Braden nearly toppled forward when his energy was spent.