by Marie Force
“Why did you just get all tense on me?” he asked.
“Did I?”
“Uh-huh. What’re you thinking about?”
“Whether I can hold your attention long-term.” The words were out before she took the time to decide whether she should say them.
He raised his head to meet her gaze, seeming shocked. “Why would you wonder that? If you only knew how interested in you I am.”
Mary instantly regretted interrupting what they’d been doing to air her insecurities. “I believe you when you say that, but… Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. It matters greatly to me that you think you aren’t enough for me.”
“You live a big exciting life. Mine is small and simple and actually kind of boring. I don’t want you to be bored by me.”
“Mary… God, did I seem bored for one second today? I can’t get enough of you. Everything you say interests me. My life might look big and exciting from the outside looking in, but in reality, it’s actually very lonely most of the time.”
“How can that be when you’re surrounded by people?”
“Have you ever been in a crowd and felt alone?”
“I can’t say that I have.”
“Then you haven’t really experienced what it’s like to be lost in a crowd with no one you care about anywhere in sight. Being surrounded by people all the time isn’t as satisfying as you might think.”
It pained her to hear that his life was so lonely.
“I don’t want you to ever think you’re not enough for me. I’ve been a whole lot less lonely since I met you and get to look forward to talking to you every day.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I feel the same way. My life was always very satisfying to me, but now it’s more so.”
“It makes me happy to know that I’ve done that for you, because you’ve given me so much. More than you can possibly know.”
“I’m sorry if I got insecure and ruined the mood.”
He pressed his erection against her leg. “My mood isn’t ruined. Is yours?”
She laughed at the adorably boyish expression on his face and reached up to place her hand on his face to bring him down for another of those amazing kisses. Who could be bothered with insecurities when a hot, sexy, nice man wanted her as badly as he seemed to?
Patrick felt her give in to him, her walls dropping like dominoes to allow him in. She kissed him with wild abandon that had him fighting for control of a situation that was rapidly spinning out of control.
His plan to take it slow was being obliterated by her enthusiastic kisses and sexy moans. Reaching behind her, he released the hooks on her bra and eased the straps down her arms, holding his breath as he revealed her breasts. Christ, she was lovely. Her breasts were small but sensitive, judging from the way she’d reacted to him touching her earlier.
Leaning over her, he drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly as he pinched the other one between his fingers.
Gasping, she fisted a handful of his hair, and when he ran his tongue over the tight pink tip, she arched into him, the heat of her core against his cock making him crave more of her.
“Mary…” He dropped his forehead to her chest. “Tell me to stop.”
“Do you want to stop?”
Raising his head so he could see her face, he said, “God, no, but I don’t want you to think this is the only reason I wanted to spend the weekend with you.”
“So you weren’t hoping for this?” she asked with a teasing smile.
“Umm, how to answer that in the most diplomatic way possible…”
“Just tell me the truth.”
“I’ve hoped I’d get a chance to hold you and kiss you and make love with you.” He nuzzled her breast. “Since the day I met you.” Glancing at her face again, he added, “But I don’t want to rush you or push you for things you’re not ready for.”
Mary crooked her finger at him. “Come here.”
Patrick came down on top of her.
She ran her fingers through his hair. “I was nervous about whether this would happen.”
“And now?”
“Now,” she said, driving him crazy with the scratch of her nails over his scalp. He hadn’t known his scalp was an erogenous zone until she showed him. “I don’t feel nervous anymore,” she said. “I feel…”
Patrick held his breath, waiting to hear what she’d say. “What do you feel, honey?”
“Needy.”
He released a long exhale. “I’ll give you whatever you need, Sweet Mary. Anything at all.”
“I just need you.”
“You have me.” He brushed the hair back from her face. “I’m right here, and I’m all yours.”
“For how long?” she asked, looking madly vulnerable.
His heart beat double time. “For as long as you want me.”
“That could be a while.”
“I’m cool with that.”
Her smile lit up his world. He had to kiss her or die from wanting to. Tilting his head, he brought his lips down on hers and lost himself in her. He hadn’t felt anything like this since Ali died thirty years ago, and after waiting all that time to find Mary, he would never let her go.
Mary hadn’t expected to get so caught up in him that she’d be hoping he would suggest they sleep together. So much for playing it cool and taking it slow. He’d completely disarmed her with passionate kisses and the reverent way he touched her. She lacked the vocabulary to ask him for what she wanted, which made her feel stupid and frustrated.
His finger traced the furrow between her brows. “What’s this about?”
“I… I don’t know how to tell you…”
With his fingers on her chin, he forced her to meet his gaze. “Mary, honey, whatever it is you want to say, just say it. Whatever it is, I promise you I want to hear it. I wish I could know everything about you.”
His open honesty made it easier for her to level with him.
“I want to go to bed. With you. Now.”
“Are you sleepy?”
She shook her head. “I’m wide awake.”
“Is that right?”
“Uh-huh.”
His smile unfolded slowly across his sinfully handsome face. “Why Sweet Mary from Vermont, are you propositioning me?”
“What if I am?”
“I’d be the happiest guy in the entire world.” He raised himself up and offered her a hand.
She felt self-conscious about strutting around half-naked in front of him, even if she had just propositioned him.
Of course, he knew that and wrapped a soft throw around her shoulders.
“Thank you.”
“Sure,” he said, gathering her hair and lifting it free of the blanket.
“I can’t believe I’m rolling around on the floor of Linc and Molly’s house and wrapped up in their blanket and about to sleep with you in one of their beds.”
“Are we just going to sleep? Because that’d be kinda disappointing after the proposition.”
She laughed as she groaned. “Stop tormenting me.”
“Why would I do that when it’s so much fun to torment you?” He led her into the first-floor master suite, where his duffel bag sat at the foot of the bed. “Let me go grab your bag real quick.”
Mary sat on the bed and drew the blanket in tighter around her, feeling the burst of courage disappear now that she was in the room where Lincoln and Molly slept at the house. It felt weird to think about having sex with Patrick in their bed.
Patrick returned with her suitcase, which he left next to the door and came over to sit next to her. “Are you cold?”
“What? No. Why?”
“You’re holding on to that blanket for dear life.”
“Oh. Well…”
“It’s okay, Mary. Everything is okay.” He put his arm around her and kissed her temple. “I’m so happy to be here with you, no matter what happens or what doesn’t.”
“I’m the worst kind
of tease.”
“No, you’re not. You’re a refreshing change of pace.”
She glanced at him. “What does that mean?”
“I’ve always heard it’s a bad idea to talk about other women with the woman you are currently hoping to spend more time with.”
Mary scowled at him. “Tell me what you meant.”
Patrick sighed and looked down. “It has been my experience that most women are interested in two things when they get involved with me—what I can buy them and what I can do for them. It’s rarely ever about me. With you, for the first time since I lost my wife, I feel like you’re here because of me, not because of the money or the notoriety or the other BS that goes along with being me.”
“Patrick,” she said on a long exhale, slightly appalled to hear how shamelessly women had used him. “You have to know by now that I don’t care about any of that stuff.”
He looked at her and rested a finger on her lips. “I know, sweetheart. That’s what I meant when I said you were refreshing. Everything about this has been refreshing and exciting and a little nerve-racking from the beginning.”
“Why has it been nerve-racking? I mean, I know why it’s been for me, but I’m surprised to hear you say it’s been that way for you, too. You’re always so confident about everything.”
“Not everything,” he said with a laugh. “You, my sweet, sweet Mary, have led me on a merry chase.”
“I have not. Don’t say that.”
“Yes, you have, and that’s not a bad thing. You’ve made me work for it, and that makes everything about this…” He leaned in to kiss her. “So much more satisfying.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. I don’t mean to play hard to get.”
“You’re not. You’re being cautious, and I respect that. Let’s get ready for bed—and if you don’t want to sleep in here with me, that’s totally fine.”
“Could we, maybe, sleep in one of the other bedrooms? This one has to be Linc and Molly’s, and it’s just weird for me to be sleeping in my boss’s bed.”
Smiling, he said, “Of course we can relocate.”
“It’s okay. You can go ahead and make fun of me. I know I’m full of weird hang-ups.”
“You’re perfect just the way you are. Go on upstairs and pick any room you want, and I’ll bring our stuff up.”
“Okay.” Holding the blanket tight around her, she went up the stairs thinking about how sweet he was, how accommodating and understanding. His easygoing attitude toward just about everything made it easy to forget that he was one of the wealthiest men in the world.
Mary poked her head into a couple of bedrooms before choosing one that would have a daytime view of the lake. It also had an adjoining bathroom and, more importantly, a king-sized bed.
“Find something?” he asked when he appeared in the doorway with their bags.
“This will work.”
“You want to use the bathroom first?”
“Sure.” She took the handle of her small weekender bag and wheeled it into the bathroom where she changed into flannel pajamas with snowflakes on them, because nothing said sexy like flannel and snowflakes, brushed her hair and teeth and tried to get her nerves back under control. It had been a long, long time since she’d shared a bed with a man, and she’d never shared a bed with a man who wanted her the way Patrick did—and vice versa. She’d heard about the kind of heated attraction that flared between them and had seen it between couples she knew, including his daughter and her husband, but she’d never experienced it herself, not like this anyway.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she took a series of deep, calming breaths, calling herself every kind of fool for being so nervous around him when he’d gone out of his way to put her at ease. “Relax and stop being such a nitwit.”
She threw open the door to find Patrick sitting on the bed wearing red plaid flannel pajama pants and scrolling through his phone. Dark-framed glasses made him sexier than he already was, if that was possible.
He looked up at her as he stashed the phone on the bedside table. “You say something, hon?”
“No,” she said, embarrassed that he’d overheard her pep talk. “Bathroom is all yours.”
“I’ll be quick,” he said, kissing her cheek on the way by.
Mary got into bed, wondering if he preferred one side or the other. She usually slept on the right side at home, so that was where she settled in, tugging the covers up to her chin. The bed was warm and soft, and she recognized the navy-and-green-plaid flannel duvet cover from the store.
Patrick came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and Mary’s gaze went directly to his chest, which was still bare. He took off his glasses and left them on the bedside table, where he plugged in his phone before getting into bed.
“Are you okay on that side?” she asked.
“This is fine, but you are way too far away over there.” He held out his arm to her. “Come here.”
Mary scooted over and snuggled up to him, her face on his chest, her hand on his stomach, which quivered under the heat of her palm.
He tightened his arm around her and nuzzled her hair. “That’s much better. And by the way, you’re very cute in those jammies.”
“You’re pretty cute in your jammies, too, but you forgot your shirt.”
“I didn’t forget. I rarely wear anything to bed.”
Mary felt her face get very warm when she realized he’d worn the pajama pants for her. The thought of him sleeping nude made her feel warm all over.
“Sorry I was checking my phone before. I was waiting for an email from Cam about her and Will coming down to the city for a visit after I get back from the Orient. I miss being able to text her now that she lives in the cell phone never-never land known as Butler.”
“You’re going to the Orient?” Mary hadn’t heard much of what he said after the word “Orient.”
“I’m leaving for two weeks on Tuesday. I told you that.”
“I don’t think you did,” she said, feeling oddly deflated to know he’d be so far away for such a long time. What did it matter, she asked herself, when he already lived six hours from her?
He looked down at her. “You want to come with me?”
Chapter 4
“Life isn’t about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.”
—George Bernard Shaw
Mary groaned, filled with regret and frustration that she couldn’t take him up on the offer. She didn’t have a spur-of-the-moment bone in her body, for one thing. “I don’t have a passport, which makes me sound like a small-town hick next to your world-traveling self.”
“Not at all. We could get you one if you want to come. I have contacts at the State Department who’d help me out. I’d love to have you. Just say the word.”
“I can’t pick up and go away for two weeks. I have a job and a life and…” Really, she had no good reason at all to say no to the trip of a lifetime.
“I understand.”
“I’m glad you do, because I’m furious that I can’t go. I’ve never been anywhere, and I want to go everywhere.”
“Come with me, Mary. I’ll take you around the world. We’ll go anywhere you want.”
“You’re like the devil himself, Patrick. Temptation personified.”
“Why thank you, honey. That might be the nicest compliment anyone has ever paid me.”
She snorted with laughter. “You would take someone calling you a tempting devil as a compliment.”
“Not just anyone. I like it when you say it.”
“So you’ll be gone for Thanksgiving?” she asked.
“Uh-huh. I figured with Cam set with her new family this year, there was no reason to put off meetings in countries that don’t celebrate the holiday. Of course, I decided that before I met you.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “What’re you doing for the holiday?”
“I work at the soup kitchen every year. It’s one of our busiest days.”
“I enjoy it.” She propped her head on his chest. “Could I ask you something?”
“Anything you want.”
“You mentioned your wife a couple of times. Would you tell me about her?” Only because she was lying so close to him did she feel the tension that came over him and immediately regretted ruining their playful mood by bringing up a difficult subject for him. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to spoil our good time. It’s none of my business.”
He rested a finger over her lips. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just… It’s still hard to talk about even almost thirty years later.”
“I’m sorry, Patrick. I didn’t mean to open an old wound.”
“You didn’t. That wound has never really healed.”
“Of course it didn’t. How could it?”
“I met Ali my first week at NYU. I was there on an academic scholarship, and she worked in the cafeteria.”
“Was she a student, too?”
“No, she was helping to support her family. Her mom died having her youngest sister, the dad was emotionally unstable, and they were in dire financial straits. She worked three jobs to help keep them afloat.” He got a faraway look in his eyes. “She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Cameron looks just like she did when we first met, which has been very difficult for me at times. Ali and I saw each other as much as we could between school and work. She did a lot for her younger sisters, too, so we were lucky to get two or three hours a week together, sometimes late at night or first thing in the morning. But we took what we could get. I never dated anyone else the entire time I was in college, and right before graduation, I proposed. Her dad was vehemently opposed to her getting married. I think it was because he needed her so much to help out with her siblings, but he said things… Awful things that hurt us both and put a rift between us and her family that broke her heart. I actually offered to step aside to make things easier for her, but she wouldn’t hear of that.”