by Quil Carter
And now look at him… a cowering wimp at the thought of displeasing Silas. The worst part was, I had been him for eleven years, and still remember clearly the terror at disappointing the Mad King. I remember… when my own brain had betrayed me.
I felt sorry for this man, and my sympathies were rarely extended.
Perish and I both walked into my apartment and we were greeted with the aroma of dinner. This was typical now, and I had become quite spoiled on Loren’s cooking. He could cook the kitchen sengils under the table and had been teaching the sengils how to cook better as well. The kitchen sengils absolutely hated this, and absolutely hated Loren; I was quite proud of the boy.
“You’re so lucky,” Perish said. “Silas says when I discover immortality I can have a sengil. I think I’ll have to just drag one off of the streets though since there’s none for me in Autumnhome.”
Drag one off of the streets? “That would be interesting to see,” I said. I nodded to Loren who was coming from the kitchen with my tea. “It looks like you had a productive day.”
“Yes, it was. I’m able to get a lot done when Julian’s gone,” Loren said.
Julian popped his head out of my study and smiled at me. “Hey, handsome,” he said. He put down the gun he was appearing to be cleaning and walked over to me. I was too tense to receive his P.D.A however, so when he puckered his lips, I shot him a look and shook my head.
Julian sighed and took my jacket. “Come inside and I’ll make you a drink.” I stopped him as he spoke though, noticing the dirt under his fingernails.
“You went to work today?” I asked. “You said today was a day off.”
Unhappy with merely being a house husband, Julian had decided to use his manipulative skills for good and had recently become an ambassador of Skyfall. He, with a dozen legion guard, travelled to greywaster towns and tried to sell them on joining Skyfall. He’d talk up the benefits and advantages of becoming a block and befriended the mayors or whoever was in charge of the settlement. Julian had already convinced five small towns to become blocks which benefited Skyfall in the way of revenue and scientific research since the block residents had to submit to the census. Of course, some of those small blocks would get destroyed within the next ten years, whether it be because of ravers, disease, or hungry greywasters, but the ones that survived usually grew and thrived under Skyfall rule.
“Oh, it was just that town I’ve been courting,” he said passively. He hung up my jacket and the three of us walked over to the sitting area. “I had nothing else to do so I decided to pretend I was worried about their shortage last winter. I think they’ll join just so they don’t have to risk eating their elderly again.”
“Interesting,” I said as I sat on the couch. I was still getting used to having Julian live with me. The hole in my heart where Finn had been was still infected and raw, but having Julian around was, quite frankly, better than being alone. It also made Silas happy that we were involved and I needed to always have ways to make Silas happy, and ways to make Silas sad, readily available. Even though I was fighting my feelings for the king head-on, I still needed to keep the strings on him secure.
“And did you have a good day today, hun?” Julian asked with sugar in his words. He handed me a shot of whisky and shifted over to me until our bodies were squished together. This was then followed by a loving, but rather shiteater, smile.
I sighed but didn’t move. He was doing this to be annoying. That was a game he loved playing with me. He’d do things I hated in front of people, and I’d threaten to give him a black eye once we were home.
I always pretended I was annoyed at the stupid games he loved to play, but today I appreciated him trying to lighten up the mood. Julian knew how hard I was working at the laboratory, and like the others, he was also concerned about my health, mentally and physically. This was Julian’s way of diffusing the tension that was currently eating my gut… and I appreciated his efforts.
I decided I would try and push the anxieties down. It wouldn’t help Perish and it wouldn’t help me. I had to be stronger than that.
“No, today wasn’t really a good day,” I answered Julian. I explained to him our failed findings. “At least Silas should be awake by now. I have something I need to ask him. How many hours has it been, Perish?”
I was both dreading and looking forward to that meeting.
Perish checked his watch. “Six. He’ll be up by now. Are you going to ask him about that thing? I really don’t think you should.” A pained expression appeared on his face. “Things about O.L.S’s… they make him angry. Whenever they’re mentioned… bad things… happen.”
I looked at him curiously, then my brain kicked into gear and something occurred to me. “You’re programmed for that response, aren’t you? Every time I ask about the O.L.S’s you basically say the same thing. Silas told you not to talk about them.”
Perish said nothing, but I decided to throw chance to the wind.
“Perish… do you know where your O.L.S is?”
Perish looked at me helplessly, and when I tuned my hearing I heard a nervous thump. “I don’t know where it is,” he said slowly. “It’s been so many years. I don’t know where it is. He took it out long ago.” The Perish paled, and I put my tea down when I noticed he was trembling. This was followed by his breathing getting short, so I called for Loren who brought him a tablet of Xanax. I was tempted to take one myself, but I wanted to be sober and ready for this meeting with Silas.
We were silent as it kicked in. I’d had to do this numerous times in my adult life and before my alterations were fixed, it was me who had needed that Xanax. Whenever something that Silas had coded into the implants were triggered, we’d become a mess until the stresser was removed. Perish didn’t have implants, to the best of my knowledge anyway, but he did seem to have the same triggers.
I needed one of those O.L.S’s, for two different, yet similar, reasons. I wanted Perish intact so I could use his scientific knowledge, and I wanted an O.L.S to take apart to examine myself. I had two opportunities to advance my knowledge, and possibly crack this immortal code, but none of them were within my reach.
When Perish was recovered enough, we sat down for dinner. Loren had outdone himself again, we were served chicken alfredo with caesar salad, both loaded with aged parmesan cheese. There was one thing about Loren’s cooking I was always proud of, I knew there was no other person on the planet eating as well as I was.
“I’m not looking forward to it at all,” Julian said, a fork in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. “It’s way out there, like way way out there.”
“Aras is only growing bigger,” I pointed out. It was a town about as far east as one could get until you hit the blacksands. The blacksands were near enough to the plaguelands that there was little of a population. The scavenging there was apparently good due to the place being infested with ravers and mutated animals. Nero and Ceph were actually in the middle of a campaign to cull a few around cities that Perish had picked out. Since they were so close to the radiation they were impressively intact and had water, it was perfect for a Skytech laboratory and he now had four of them planned. I had also expressed secret interest in building a shelter there.
“Yeah, but they’re so far away from civilization… they’re probable feral,” Julian said with a mouth twitch. “I might just wait until I’m immortal.” He winked at me and got an eye roll in return.
“I’m not living my entire life with you,” I said, taking a drink of wine.
“You will and you’ll love it!” Julian grinned. “Silas already told me he would two weeks ago.”
“He was drunk.”
“Yeah, but I got him to say it on video; that’s a binding contract, my lion.”
“Mmhm,” I said. I was teasing him. I honestly wouldn’t mind if Silas made him immortal, I was still destroyed from losing Finn. I didn’t want to go through that again, ever. The fear of going through this again was one of the main reasons I felt like I was go
ing insane. “Well, if you wish to venture out to Aras and have the appropriate number of guards, I’m going to be busy anyway.”
“Busy with the lab stuff?”
I nodded, but that was a lie. Yes, I would still be doing my laboratory stuff, but the plans I was alluding to…
You’re amongst spiders.
… had nothing to do with the immortal code, or any other Skytech project.
After being in the greywastes for almost a month, Nero and Ellis had returned to Skyfall. I hadn’t gotten any information from them which was frustrating to say the least. Two weeks after asking them for that evidence, I’d began to get impatient with their delays. Then the next thing I knew… Silas had sent them into the greywastes.
It was infuriating. Silas claimed to me that it had been planned for months, their greywastes trip, but it only stoked the flames of my suspicions.
That the person Ivan was alluding to, could very well be Silas.
Or Julian.
Now that they were back, I would accept no excuses. I’d even gone above Silas’s head and had given them both days off, solely so they could use some of that time to meet with me.
I needed answers.
I… I just needed something.
Am I sleeping next to a spider?
Even I was disappointed at the reaction I got when my own inner mind tossed out that question.
Like a scared child, I ran from it. I ran and I didn’t look back.
Why?
Because I didn’t want it to be so. I feared the consequences on myself, what would happen to me if I found out that it was Julian. That he’d somehow conspired with Ivan. I was honestly scared for myself if that ended up being the case.
I was just… I was just tired.
But it wasn’t about me. It was about avenging the death of the man I loved.
So, I had to ask that question – and I had to find the answer to it.
“And that’s with you spending eight hours at the laboratory?” Julian complained. “You haven’t had a day off in a month, Elish, and you barely sleep. You’re working yourself to–” I raised my hand to tell him to be quiet – which caused an explosion.
“Don’t you dismiss me like I’m your god damn sengil!” he exclaimed.
I smiled inside, happy for yet another distraction from my dark thoughts. “I won’t, you failed at being a sengil,” I said airily in return. Julian’s mouth dropped open. “Now be quiet, I’m eating.”
Julian reached over the table with his fork, then flipped my garlic bread over, spilling the garlic pieces onto my alfredo and making a mess. In retaliation, I grabbed my knife with a threatening look, and with a yelp, Julian retracted his hand, and the two of us exchanged smiles.
We continued eating after that, and it was when Loren was clearing the tables and the tea kettle was on, that there was a light knock on the door. Julian went up and answered it, and standing there with his hands behind his back, was Jack.
Jack was almost thirteen years old now and was at that gangly weird stage between boy and man. His arms and legs were too long for his body, and he was starting to exhibit even weirder behaviours than he did as a child. There was also the unfortunate fact that he was following in the footsteps of Garrett and Ellis and had discovered the more gothic side of life. He was a nice boy however, which contrasted his stealth chimera engineering, and besides secretly mutilating small mammals for twisted art projects, the boy was quite soft.
“Good evening, Master Elish,” Jack said. His voice had dropped which made the half-man all the more strange-looking. I’m glad I had been hiding in my bedroom during my early teens and had been blissfully unaware of how awkward and weird I was. The shame would come later in Jack’s life when he would learn what a cruel bitch self-awareness was. “I hope I’m not interrupting…”
“No, it’s fine,” I replied. “Were you wanting to sleep here tonight?” Jack now lived in an apartment shared with Valen and Rio, but the teenagers were too rowdy for the quiet introverted boy and he often slept in his old bedroom to get away from them.
“Well… yes, probably,” Jack said; he glanced up at me through silver bangs and eyes with black eyeliner. “But… that’s not why I’m here. Master Silas is awake now and he sent me down for some of Loren’s cooking. If there is anything left.” Silas’s sengil, a red-haired pixie of a thing named Kinny could burn a salad, so, like the rest of my family, they ordered their food from the kitchens. Unfortunately, as one can see, my sengil’s cooking was quite popular. If it was anyone besides Silas I would’ve told them to pound sand, unless I needed something from them, but I had been wanting to talk to Silas anyway about Sky’s O.L.S, and this could be a good time to get it out of the way.
“There’s enough for Silas, if it is your will, Master Elish,” Loren said with an incline of his head. My sengil stood a thousand feet tall when he was getting special attention for his food. He was the top sengil in the building, beating out Kinny by a mile, and he knew it. “There’s even just enough for Jack.”
Jack’s face brightened.
“That will be my lunch tomorrow,” I said plainly.
And the brightness faded.
I walked upstairs, leaving Jack behind to get the food and Perish and Julian drinking tea in the sitting room, and found Silas sitting slumped over on the couch.
I frowned noticing Silas had a bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table. I had a bad association with whisky from my younger years. I couldn’t stand the stuff, both because of all the times he beat on me while drunk, and the vomit-inducing whisky breath that he’d breathe on my face while he was on top of me.
And over the years, Silas knew I didn’t like being around him when he was drinking. He wasn’t stupid, and I no longer hid my disproval. “I’m not drunk, love,” he said, and he indeed sounded very much sober. “This is only my first glass.”
I walked over to him. “Something is bothering you?” This would be a good opportunity to support him and pretend I cared about whatever issue he was having this time.
~
This is what I told myself when I found myself caring about him. I’d become quite good at denying my feelings for him.
~
“Nero came back from the greywastes. He and I had it out over Sanguine again,” Silas said. He took a drink of the whisky. “You know, Elish, I will put up a front that I did what I thought was best for that boy, to get the chimera that I wanted, but once Nero leaves I can’t stop crying. I left one of my babies out there, love. I left one of my babies out there to fend off the greywastes alone.” He took a long drink, whimpered, then tucked himself up small on the couch.
“Nero said he had been doing well,” I said as I sat down. I drew him to me and put his glass of whisky back onto the coffee table. “And they put him in a safe place. You had no way of knowing something would happen.”
Silas sniffed. “Do you think he’s alive?”
Nope.
“He’s a chimera, I’m sure he’ll survive somehow,” I reassured. I decided to steer the topic where I wanted it to go. “Soon, you won’t have to worry about us dying.” I stroked the healed area of his head, only hours before I had been staring at that exposed brain, and now it was back to being Silas. “Just think of that day.”
Silas looked up at me, a flicker of hope in his eyes. “Did you find something?” he said, a desperate hitch in his voice. He stared at me with large eyes, ones that pleaded for anything positive he could grasp onto.
I hesitated on purpose. “Well, there is something that I wanted to talk to you about,” I began. “An idea I had, a way for my research to accelerate.”
And here I nudged my little white pawn ahead, bravely in the face of the black king. He stood in the shadow of the dark royal, brave and resilient, but unaware that in mere moments, that brave little white pawn, my innocent suggestion, would get cut in half in front of me.
Silas looked at me, his green eyes stealing the orbs of light from the lamps around him. “What i
s it?” he asked.
“I’m requesting that you let me open and examine Sky’s O.L.S.”
And just like that, the black king slaughtered my innocent suggestion, and recoiled away from me like I’d just become toxic waste.
“How could you even ask me that?” he gasped, in a tone that made it seem like I’d just asked him to shoot Drake in the head. “Now? With Keaton on the way? You would put Sky’s O.L.S at risk, now? With some… because of some fucking… because you want to see how it works? Experiment on it? You will risk the love of my life… for an experiment?”
The love of your fucking life? I’ve heard nothing but bad things about that stupid man. He wasn’t the love of your life, you fucking idiot; he’s a cancer that keeps on returning, keeps on spreading.
I lost control then. My fatigue and stress got to me, and I exploded. “That device is keeping a living piece of brain alive. It’s a fucking scientific marvel and yet I have no blue prints for it, I have no idea how it works. It could help me make us all immortal but I have no fucking research on it because you got pissed off and made Perish into a retard!” I snapped, jumping up off of the couch at the same time he did.
“Perish was an abusive asshole, Elish!” Silas cried. He pushed me but I didn’t budge. “He was using his abilities against me, and–”
“Like you did?” I yelled, his words tweaking my every last nerve and draining my patience like it was a sinkhole. I must be sleep deprived; this was an unheard of outburst from me. “You fucked me up how many times, Master Silas? So when do we get to make a damn O.L.S for you?”
Silas’s jaw dropped. “Watch your god damn mouth,” he snarled. “I’m the fucking king, you emotionless asshole. I don’t need to give some half-sane mutant an excuse. Fuck off, go back to the laboratory, you have work to do.”
I saw red. It draped down over my eyes like a crimson curtain. He was bringing up, and throwing in my face, sensitive things from my childhood. Like when he would make me walk to the lab in the middle of the night, and in the middle of winter. I’d gone on so many late-night walks to escape him.