by Morgan Rice
I realize how judgmental I’m being, and I feel bad. Maybe he’s right. Maybe if I was still living here, in the city, I would have joined them, too. I don’t know what pressures he was under.
“So what now?” I say. “You’re leaving them? Defecting?”
“I’m escaping,” he says. “I’ve had enough. Watching you fight-it did something to me. You had such spirit. I knew that this was my moment, that I had to leave, even if I die trying.”
I hear the sincerity in his voice and know that he speaks the truth. I’m surprised to hear that I’ve inspired him. I wasn’t trying to inspire anyone-just to stay alive. And I am grateful for his help.
But based on the number of feet I hear charging outside the door, it sounds like it’s a lost cause anyway. I don’t see how we can ever get out of here.
“I know where there’s a boat,” he continues, as if reading my mind. “It’s docked on the west side, at 42nd. It’s a small motor boat. They use it to patrol the Hudson. But the first patrol doesn’t leave until after dawn. If I get there at dawn, before them, I can steal it. Take it upriver.”
“To where?” I ask.
He looks back at me blankly.
“Where would you go?” I press.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t care. Anywhere but here. As far as the river will take me, I guess.”
“You think you can survive the mountains?” Ben suddenly asks. I can hear an edge to his voice, something unfamiliar, something I haven’t heard before. If I didn’t know better, it sounds to me like possessiveness. Like jealousy.
Suddenly, my face flushes as I realize: Ben has feelings for me. He’s jealous of Logan.
Logan turns and stares Ben down coldly. “You managed to,” he says. “Why couldn’t I?”
“I’d hardly call what I did surviving,” Ben says. “It was more like a slow death.”
“It beats being here,” Logan says. “Besides, I’m not a defeatist. I will find a way to survive. I got weapons and ammo, and a few days food. That’s all I need. I’ll do whatever I have to.”
“I’m not a defeatist,” Ben retorts, annoyed.
Logan just shrugs.
“The boat’s meant for two,” he says, looking away from Ben, to me. It is clear from his gaze that he only wants me to come. I wonder if he likes me, or if it’s just a guy thing, just plain old competition and jealousy, for the sake of it. Logan must see the determination in my stare, because he adds, “But I guess, if it has to, it can hold three.”
He paces.
“I’ll help you guys escape. At dawn, you’ll follow me. We’ll take the boat up the Hudson. I’ll drop you back at your homes, wherever they are, then I’ll continue on my way.”
“I’m not going anywhere without Bree,” I say, firmly.
Logan turns and looks at me.
“Who’s Bree?” he asks.
“My sister.”
“And I’m not going without my brother,” Ben adds.
“We came down here for a reason,” I explain. “To rescue our siblings. And to bring them back. I’m not leaving without her.”
Logan shakes head, as if annoyed.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he says. “I’m giving you a way out. A free ticket. Don’t you realize there’s no other way out of here? That they’ll hunt you down before you go ten feet? Even if you find your sister-then what?”
I stand there and cross my arms, fuming. There’s no way I’ll let him talk me out of it.
“Besides, I hate to say this but…” he trails off, and I realize he is checking himself.
“But what?” I press.
He hesitates, as if debating whether to say anything. He takes a deep breath.
“There’s no way you’ll ever find them.”
I feel my heart drop at his words. I stare at him, wondering what he’s holding back.
“What aren’t you telling us?” I ask.
He shifts his eyes from mine to Ben’s to the floor, avoiding my gaze.
“What do you know?” I press. My heart is pounding-I am afraid he is going to tell me that Bree is dead.
He hesitates, toeing the ground, looking down. Finally, he begins to talk.
“They were separated,” he begins. “They were too young. They always separate the older from the younger. The stronger from the weaker. The boys from the girls. The stronger, older ones are set aside for the arena. But the younger, weaker ones…” He trails off.
My heart pounds, as I wonder what he’s going to say.
“Well?” Ben prods.
“The young boys, they send to the mines.”
“The mines?” Ben asks, stepping forward in indignation.
“The coal mines. Crosstown. Beneath Grand Central. They put them on a train crosstown. Put them down in the shafts, far beneath the earth. They use the coal for fire. That’s where your brother is. That’s where that train was going. I’m sorry,” he says, and sounds genuine.
Ben suddenly marches for the door, his face red.
“Where are you going?” I ask, alarmed.
“To get my brother,” Ben snaps back, not even slowing.
Logan steps up and holds out an arm, blocking Ben’s way. Now that I look at them side by side, I see that Logan towers over Ben, a half a foot taller and twice as broad, with his huge, muscular shoulders. Beside him, Ben seems tiny. They are starkly different looking people, polar opposites: Logan is the all-American jock type, while Ben, thin, unshaven, with his longish hair and soulful eyes, is the sensitive-artist type. They couldn’t be more different. But they each share a strong will, a streak of defiance.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Logan says in his deep, authoritative voice.
Ben looks up at him, scowling.
“You walk out that door,” Logan continues, “and you give us away. Then we’ll all be dead.”
Ben’s shoulders relax, and I can see him relent.
“You want to find your brother,” Logan continues, “you can. But you need to wait till dawn, when we all bust out of here together. Just a few more hours. Then you can go to your death if you want.”
Ben slowly relents, then turns his back and resentfully crosses to our side of the room.
“What about Bree?” I say, my voice steely cold. I am afraid to ask it. But I need to know. “Where did they take her?”
Logan slowly shakes his head, avoiding my gaze.
“WHERE?” I press, stepping forward, my voice venomous. My heart is pounding with terror.
He clears his throat.
“The young girls,” he begins, “the ones who are too young for the arena…they ship them off to slavery,” he says. He looks up at me. “The sex trade.”
My heart rips in two. I want to run out the door, screaming, looking for her anywhere. But I know that would be futile. I need to know more. I feel my face redden, my entire body rise with heat, my fists clench with indignation.
“Where did they take her?” I press, my voice steely cold.
“They ship the sex slaves to Governors Island. They load them on buses and bus them downtown. Then they put them on a boat. The next bus leaves at dawn. Your sister will be on it.”
“Where are these buses?” I demand.
“Across the street,” he says. “34th and 8th. They leave from the old post office.”
Without thinking I march for the door, feeling the horrific pain in my leg as I go. Again, Logan holds out his arm and stops me. It is strong and muscular, like a wall.
“You have to wait, too,” he says. “Until daybreak. It would do you no good to look for her now. She’s not on the bus yet. They keep them underground until loading time, in a cell somewhere. I don’t even know where. I promise you. At dawn, they’ll bring them up and load them. If you want to go after her, that’s when you can do it.”
I stare into his eyes, scrutinizing them, and see the sincerity. Slowly, I relent, breathing deep to control myself.
“But you need to know it’s a lost caus
e,” he says. “You’ll never bust her out. She’ll be chained to a group of slaves, and these will be chained to an armored bus, and the bus will be flanked by dozens of soldiers and vehicles. You won’t be able to get anywhere near it. You’ll just end up killing yourself. “Not to mention,” he adds, “most of the buses don’t even make it through the wasteland.”
“The wasteland?” I press.
He clears his throat, reluctant.
“To reach the Seaport, the pier for Governors Island, the buses have to go downtown, have to leave the walled area. The wall starts at 23rd Street. South of that, it’s the wasteland. That’s where the crazies live. Thousands of them. They attack every bus that goes through there. Most don’t even make it. That’s why they send lots of buses at once.”
My heart drops at his words.
“That’s why I’m telling you: leave with me in the morning. At least you’ll be safe. Your siblings are already a lost cause. At least you can survive.”
“I don’t care what the odds are,” I retort, my voice steely and determined. “I don’t care if I die trying. I’m going after my sister.”
“And I’m going after my brother,” Ben adds. I’m surprised by his determination, too.
Logan shakes his head.
“Suit yourself. You guys are on your own. I’m taking that boat at dawn and I’ll be long gone.”
“You’ll do what you have to do,” I say, with disgust. “Just like you always have.”
He sneers back at me, and I can see I’ve really hurt him. He turns away abruptly, crosses to the far side of the room, and leans against the wall and sits, sulking. He checks and cleans his pistol, not looking at me again, as if I no longer exist.
His sitting reminds me of the pain in my calf, of how exhausted I am. I go to the far wall, as far away from him as I can get, and lean back against it and sit, too. Ben comes over and sits beside me, his knees almost touching mine, but not quite. It feels good to have him there. I feel as if he understands.
I can’t believe we are both sitting here right now, alive. I never would have imagined this. I was sure we were being marched off to our deaths earlier, and now I feel as if I’m being given a second chance at life.
I think of my sister, and his brother-and suddenly it strikes me that Ben and I will have to part ways, go to different parts of the city. The thought of it disturbs me. I look over and study him, as he sits there with his head down, and I see that he’s just not cut out to be a fighter. He won’t survive on his own. And somehow, I feel responsible.
“Come with me,” I suddenly say. “It will be safer that way. We’ll go downtown together, find my sister, and then find a way out of here.”
He shakes his head.
“I can’t leave my brother,” he says.
“Stop and think about it,” I say. “How will you ever find him? He’s crosstown somewhere, hundreds of feet below ground, in a mine. And if you do find him, how will you get out of there? At least we know where my sister is. At least we have a chance.”
“How will you get out after you find her?” he asks.
It is a good question, one for which I have no response.
I simply shake my head. “I’ll find a way,” I say.
“So will I,” he answers. But I can detect the uncertainty in this voice, as if he already knows that he won’t.
“Please, Ben,” I plead. “Come with me. We’ll get Bree and make it out of this. We’ll survive together.”
“I can say the same thing,” he says. “I can ask you to come with me. Why is your sister more important than my brother?”
It is a good point, one for which I have no response. He’s right. He loves his brother as much as I love my sister. And I understand. There’s nothing I can say to that. The reality hits me that we will part ways at dawn. And I will probably never see him again.
“OK,” I say. “But promise me one thing, will you?”
He looks at me.
“When you’re done, head to the East River, make your way down to the pier at the South Street Seaport. Be there at dawn. I’ll be there. I’ll find a way. Meet me there, and we’ll find a way to make it out together.” I look at him. “Promise me,” I command.
He studies me, and I can see him thinking.
“What makes you so sure you’ll even make it downtown, to the Seaport?” he asks. “Past all the crazies?”
“If I don’t,” I say, “that means I’m dead. And I don’t plan on dying. Not after everything I’ve been through. Not while Bree’s alive.”
I can hear the determination in my own voice, and I barely recognize it-it sounds as if a stranger is speaking through me.
“That’s our meeting place,” I insist. “Be there. Promise me.”
Finally, he nods.
“OK,” he says. “Fine. If I’m alive, I’ll be there. At dawn. But if I’m not, that means I’m dead. And don’t wait for me. Do you promise? I don’t want you waiting for me,” he insists. “Promise me.”
Finally, I say, “I promise.”
He reaches out his frail hand towards me. I slowly take it in mine.
We sit there, holding hands, our fingers clasped within each other’s, and I realize it is the first time I’ve held his hand-really held his hand. The skin is so soft, and it feels good to hold it. Despite myself, I feel small butterflies.
We sit there, our backs to the wall, beside each other in the dim room, holding hands for I don’t know how long. We both look away, neither of us saying a word, each lost in our own world. But our hands never part, and as I sit there, falling asleep, I can’t help but wonder if this is the last time I’ll see him alive again.
TWENTY-THREE
I open my eyes as a rough hand shoves my shoulder.
“LET’S GO!” comes an urgent whisper.
I open my eyes with a jolt, disoriented, unsure if I’m awake or asleep. I look all around, trying to get my bearings, and see grey, pre-dawn daylight filtering in through a window high up. Daybreak. I’ve fallen asleep sitting on the floor, my head resting on Ben’s shoulder, who still sits beside me, sleeping. Logan shoves him roughly, too.
I jump into action, scurrying to my feet. As I do, the pain in my calf is excruciating, exploding in my leg.
“We’re losing time!” Logan snaps. “Move! Both of you! I’m leaving. If you want to follow me out, now’s your chance!”
Logan hurries to the door and leans his ear against it. I feel a rush of adrenaline as I cross the room, Ben now awake and beside me, and take a position behind Logan. We listen. All seems quiet outside. There are no more footsteps, no shouts, jeers…nothing. I wonder how many hours have passed. It sounds like everyone has disappeared.
Logan seems satisfied, too. Holding his gun in one hand, he slowly reaches out with his free hand, unlocks the door, and checks to see if we’re ready. He then slowly pulls open the door.
Logan cautiously steps outside, rounds the corner sharply, ready to shoot.
He gestures for us to follow, and I come out and I see the corridors are empty.
“Move!” he whispers frantically.
He runs down the corridor and I run behind him for all I’m worth. Every step is a small explosion of pain in my calf. I can’t help looking down at it, and as I do, I wish I hadn’t: it’s now swelled up to the size of a baseball. It’s also bright red, and I worry it’s infected. All my other muscles ache, too, from my ribs to my shoulder to my face-but it’s my calf that concerns me most. The others are just injuries; but if my calf is infected, I’ll need medicine. And fast.
But I can’t focus on this now. I continue to run, hobbling down the corridor, Ben beside me and Logan about ten feet in front. The steel corridors are dimly lit by sporadic emergency lights, and I follow Logan in the darkness, relying on his knowledge of this place. Luckily, there is still no one in site: I assume they are all out looking for us.
Logan makes a right down another corridor, then a left. We follow, trusting he knows his way out of here. I rea
lize my fate is in his hands. He is our lifeline now, and I’ll just have to put my trust in him. I have no choice.
After several more twists and turns, Logan finally comes to a stop before a door. I stop beside him, out of breath. He pushes it open, peeks out, then opens it all the way. He reaches back, grabs Ben by the shoulder and pulls him forward.
“There,” he says, pointing. “See it?”
I lean forward. In the distance, across the vast, open terminal, are train tracks.
“That train, the one beginning to move. It goes to the mines. It leaves once a day. If you want to go, now’s your chance. Catch it!”
Ben turns and looks at me one last time, eyes open wide with adrenaline. He surprises me by reaching out, grabbing my hand, and kissing the back of it. He holds it for another second and looks at me meaningfully, as if this might be the last time he sees me.
He then turns and sprints across the terminal, heading for the train.
Logan glances at me derisively, and I can feel his jealousy.
I don’t know what to think of the kiss myself. As I watch him run for the train, I can’t help but wonder if it will be the last time I see him.
“This way!” Logan snaps, as he starts running down a different corridor.
But I sit there, frozen, watching Ben run.
Logan turns back to me, annoyed, impatient. “MOVE!” he whispers.
I realize I’m frozen in place, watching Ben run. He runs across the entire open expanse of Penn Station, runs along the tracks, then jumps up onto the back of the slowly moving train. He holds tight onto the metal bars as it goes. He holds on tight as the train disappears, into a black tunnel. He’s made it.
“I’m leaving!” Logan says, then turns and sprints down another corridor.
I snap out of it, sprinting after him. I go as fast as my legs will take me, but Logan is already far ahead and he turns again, out of sight. My heart pounds as I wonder if I’ve lost him.
I turn down another corridor and run up a ramp, and finally, I spot him again. He stands along a wall, beside a glass door, waiting for me. Through it, I can see outside. Eighth Avenue. It is a world of white. I am shocked to see that there is a raging blizzard out there.