Sevie? Really, Sevie? I couldn’t process this; not now. This was supposed to be a hiccup; a short trip to the Hourglass that Owen and I would weather before we went back to Weathersby. And now what was going to happen: I’d marry Owen’s brother and live out the rest of my life as his sister-in-law, living in this farm house and loving him from afar?
“Cresta, this isn’t the way to handle this. Just open the door so we can talk.”
Talk? What the hell was I going to say? Maybe I wasn’t having the best of reactions, but I couldn’t look Owen in the face right now.
“Cresta,” his voice got lower, much lower. “Baby please. I know this is hard, and totally out of left field, but we’ll get through it. We just have to stick together; that’s all. We have to be us, now more than ever. So please, open the door.”
I stood, rubbing the tears out of my eyes. I walked to the door, and opened it just enough for him to know I was that, but not so far that either of us could see the other one. Me seeing Owen; those arms that have held me so many times, those legs that have literally carried me away from death, that smile that convinced me life was worth living more times than I could count, wouldn’t be good. Regardless of what he was saying now, we both knew how this was going to play out. We were trapped here in the Hourglass, under the thumb of the Council. And now that they had us, it was clear they didn’t plan on giving us up. Even if we escaped somehow, even if we managed to break through what was almost certainly the most sophisticated security system known to man, where would we go then? For all either of us knew the Hourglass could be located smack dab in the middle of the Sahara desert.
No, this was going to happen. I was going to marry Sevie. I was going to live this life without Owen. No, it was worse than that. Owen would be here, right at the periphery, teasing me with a love that was mine and that never would be again. And then, like Merrin said, after she died the Council would deem him ready to move on, and I would have to stand arm in arm with the girl who got to share her life with the man I loved; one big happy family.
“Just leave me alone, okay?” I muttered, and before he could answer, I slammed the door shut again, locking it behind me. A few minutes, maybe hours later, the lock clicked behind me and I heard the door swing open. Owen’s parents walked through; his mother with her hands clasped in front of her and his father with his arms folded across his chest.
“How did you get in here?” I asked, sitting up on the bed and brushing blond bangs out of my eyes. Petar slammed the door behind him, huffing.
“Be realistic. Do you really think I’d have these horrid things installed in my home without getting a key to them first?”
“What good is a door if anybody can open it?” I sighed and leaned back on the bed.
“The doors are traditional. After the choosing, they’re put in place to ensure propriety among unmarried perfects until they are officially joined,” Celeste said. Then, after a few seconds of silence, added, “Cresta, we understand that you were raised differently; really we do, and-“
“No. That’s enough Celeste. I won’t have her babied. Upbringing aside, this girl is a Breaker, and Breakers do what they are called to.” The obvious exasperation in Petar’s voice probably would have cut into me if I gave a damn anymore, but it turns out watching your future melt away in front of you can have a numbing effect. “The way you’re reacting to this is unacceptable. Fate has chosen your mate, and if I do say so myself, it chose wisely. You will not shame my son by acting like anything other than a proper perfect to him. You’re a lucky girl, Cresta Blut. You’ve been given a life that will ensure your purpose is fulfilled. Who knows, the two of you may even give birth to a seer. But you must understand that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated. You will soon be a Lightfoot. You will soon be a member of my family, and my family has their priorities in order- at all times.”
I didn’t look at him. I didn’t look at anything other than the ceiling, counting the tiles that made up the roof. I heard a shuffle and then the door close and click again. I was about to sit up, but then I felt the pressure of someone else sitting on the bed. Celeste.
“Sevie is a good man, Cresta. He’ll make a good Breaker.” I sat up. Her face looked worn and her hair was pulled up so that it exposed her frail neck. She was achingly thin, and her uniform hung off her like red and brown rags hanging on a line to be dried. She cleared her throat. “I know he can be a bit naïve and boyish, but that will melt away in time.”
“It’s not about that,” I shook my head.
“Well don’t you think it should be?” Celeste asked. “You do not think my son is kind, or gentle? Do you not think he would be generous or treat you well? If that isn’t the case, then what more could you ask for? Fate and science have made this decision.”
“That’s the point,” I answered, rubbing my palms against the sheets. “It’s supposed to be my decision; mine and the guy I pick.”
“You mean Owen?” She asked, looking me dead in the face.
I blanched. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
Celeste sighed tiredly. “Yours wasn’t the only reaction that raised my eyebrows. I saw the way you looked at him, and what’s more, I saw the way he looked at you.” She put her hand on my leg; which sent spasms of uncomfortable anxiety through me. “I know it feels like you’re the only people in the world who have ever felt what you’re feeling right now. But I promise you aren’t. It’s normal, expected even, for young people to feel drawn to each other. You should know that better than most. It’s the reason you were born in the first place. But feelings like that can be fleeting, and we don’t always know what we want when we’re young. That’s why we rely on genetics to make these decisions for us, Cresta. Humans make mistakes. Even Breakers make mistakes. But science and fate are always right. Sevie will be good to you Cresta, because he’s a good person with a good heart. But he’ll love you because it’s in him; sewn into his DNA. And, sooner or later, you’ll love him too. It’s inside of you. “
She stood. “My son is a good man, and he deserves a good woman. In my heart, I know you can be that woman.” She walked to the door, opened it, looked back at me, and said, “I always wanted a daughter.”
“Oh God,” I muttered, falling back on the bed. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
I lay there, thinking about things for a long time after that. I watched as the sun disappeared behind the barren wall that separated the Hourglass from whatever the hell was outside of it. My stomach churned, first from nausea and then from hunger. I couldn’t sit inside this room forever, no matter how much I wanted to.
As if on cue, I heard a knock on the door. “Cresta. I have food for you. I heard from…unnamed sources that you often prefer your breakfast foods to be served during unconventional hours. Therefore, I have waffles.” It was Sevie. Of course, it was Sevie. If there was one person in the entire world that I did not want to see right now- Okay, it would be Allister Leehman. But Sevie came in a close second. And the conversation that Celeste had with me hadn’t made things any easier. Petar was easy. He was a dick. I could be angry at a dick. But Celeste just wanted what was best for her son and, what made it so much worse, was that nothing she said was untrue.
Still, I was going to have to face this sooner rather than later, and as my churning stomach reminded me, waffles sounded pretty good. I walked to the door and opened it. Sevie stood there, once again dressed like the rest of us in brown and red. He had a huge platter of butter, syrup, and waffles stacked a foot high. His smile was wide and innocent. Why did he have to be so freaking innocent?
“Would those unnamed sources be your brother?” I asked.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” he grinned.
I grinned too, though somewhere deep inside I realized that , if Owen was giving Sevie tips about how to get on my good side, then it meant that he might be on board with this whole thing. And I didn’t think I was ready for that.
“You didn’t have to do this
,” I said, taking the platter and setting it on a nearby counter.
“Yes I did,” Sevie answered, still in the doorway. “It is my sacred duty now.”
Sacred duty?
This had to stop or, at the very least, someone needed to press the pause button. And, given that, of the two of us, I was the only one who didn’t seem content to throw myself down this rabbit hole of arranged marriage crazy, it was going to have to be me.
“Sevie,” I sighed. “I think we need to talk about what’s happened. Come in.” I took his hand and gently nudged him into the room. Instantly, he jerked backward, pulling his hand out of mine and taking a few steps backward.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I-There are rules. I am forbidden from entering your bed chambers until after our coupling. It’s why the doors are here, to safeguard your virtue. To break those rules would risk sullying your name, and I would never-“
“Sevie,” I said, raising my hand to stop him. “It’s cool. I get it. Let’s just take a walk then, okay?”
His face lit up, which made me feel really bad. I didn’t wanna break this guy’s heart. He was a good kid; a great kid, maybe. And in a different world, a world where I had been raised here, who knew what was possible? But this wasn’t the way; at least not the way I was used to. I couldn’t be thrown into a commitment like this. Breaker or not, I wasn’t built that way.
“C-cool,” he answered, as though he had never used the word before and the prospect of it exhilarated him. “I can wait while you finish eating. I’ll sit outside the door if-“
“That’s okay,” I cut him off. “I’ll eat it later.” We walked through the house together, bypassing the myriad of newly appointed privacy doors. At least now I could take a shower without having to worry about passersby. I cringed when I passed by Owen’s parents and saw the unadulterated contentment on their faces. Owen was nowhere to be seen though and, even it wouldn’t have surprised me, Sevie didn’t try to take my hand once as we walked out the door and into the yard. So, thank heaven for small favors, I suppose.
“Do you remember the first time we walked here?” He asked, shuffling nervously beside me.
“Yeah, it was like two days ago,” I answered, and instantly felt bad for being so curt.
“So it was,” he bit his lip. “The moon was just like that then, bright and full- as though it was watching us.” I looked up. He was right. I don’t think I had ever seen the moon so large and glowing before. It was like the sky wanted to put on a hat and decided to go with electric yellow. “Breakers used to think that, you know; that the moon watched us. There were stories, fables passed down from the Founding Fathers. When the moon was a crescent, fate was against them. When it was invisible, fate took no part. But when it was full, like it is now, they believed that fate had favored them, and that nothing they ventured could go wrong. Fate was on their side. It needn’t matter who was against them.” He turned to me, his eyes every bit as bright as the moon above us. “So what would the Fathers think of this moon, so luminous and wonderful? What do you think they would say it meant for our union?”
“Sevie…” This was going to be hard, too hard. How do you tell someone who’s waited their entire life for their soul mate to come along, that you’re not her; regardless of what your DNA had to say about it?
“Please don’t,” he answered. Did he know what I was going to say? Finally, he offered me his hand.
“Sevie, I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“You can’t do what?” He asked, smiling wide. “Take a walk with me? Hold my hand? Of course you can. You already have.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” I answered. It surprised me how quickly my voice began to shake. I didn’t want to do this, but I didn’t have a choice.
He walked closer to me, the moonlight bouncing off his chocolate eyes and tinting them with a golden hue. It was through that hue that I saw a growing desperation. He held his hand out again. “Maybe one step at a time then?”
I shouldn’t have said yes. I should have crushed his hopes right then, told him no, that it was never going to happen, and be done with it. But the way he was looking at me, like one of those tortured puppies from the abused animal commercials, made that option pretty much impossible. I mean, all he needed was a depressing Sarah McLachlan in the background, and you could have run him on cable.
Hesitantly, I took his hand. “It doesn’t mean anything,” I assured him.
“It doesn’t have to,” he said. “Not yet.”
Twenty minutes of awkward silence and sweaty handholding later, with the approving moon still watching us from above, Sevie and I found ourselves standing beside the old barn where we had spent most of our previous night. “This is it,” he said, smiling.
“This is what?” I asked, looking at the old structure.
“Our home,” he said. “This is where we will start our life as one.”
Even if the phrase ‘start our life as one’ hadn’t filled me with a desire to clock him over the head with something and head for the hills, this was a barn; a really old barn with shaky rafter and rotting walls and probably all the other stuff that goes wrong with a barn once it gets really old. “No one could live here,” I answered.
“Well no, not as it is. But there is traditionally a three month betrothal window between the sacred announcement and the actual coupling. So by the time our union is solidified, it will look completely different. In an old and sacred show of solidarity, the Breakers of our pavilion will gather and help us rebuild this place into something spectacular; a place where a life can be made.” He let go of my hand and walked closer, beckoning for me to follow. “This land, this building has belonged to Lightfoots for as long as the Hourglass has existed. My grandparents were joined here. My father grew up within these walls. I always thought that, because he was older, Owen would lay claim to this place. I always envied him that.” He turned to me, his chocolate-golden eyes shining. “But fate has intervened and rewarded us with it.” He took my hand again. “I’m so glad I got to show you this place the other night. And I knew-something told me that there was more to our connection than simple pleasantries.”
“Maybe I’m just easy to talk to,” I suggested.
“No,” he answered. “It was more than that. I felt it and, even though I wouldn’t have believed it at the time, it was fate telling me that you are the person I am meant to walk through this life with.”
“Sevie, don’t,” I said, trying to put a stop to the verbal bleeding, but it was no use. He was on a roll.
“My power is a passive one, Cresta. Dreamwalking doesn’t necessarily lend itself to great adventures in the outside world. In fact, most dreamwalkers end up serving the needs of the Breakers within the Hourglass; as merchants, or counselors, or-if they’re lucky and determined, representatives of the Council. It is a simple life without the obvious glory of proactive Breakers such as my brother. Though I long ago made my peace with that; we are all equal so long as we play the part fate built for us- there was a piece of me that feared the woman I was destined for would find me lacking. In the back of my mind, I thought she might be embarrassed to be joined to someone whose life’s purpose was quieter.” He squeezed my hand. “But looking at you now, I realize that fate was kinder to me than I had any right to expect.”
Behind Sevie, inside the open loft of the old barn that would soon be our new home, I saw something. Owen stood there, shirtless, glistening with sweat, and bathed in moonlight. He didn’t see us. He was too busy punching and kicking at the air. I had seen him do this before, in several of Dr. Static’s defense classes. But this was something different. I couldn’t talk to his mind anymore, but that didn’t mean I didn’t know him well enough to see into it. The look in his eyes, the scowl on his face, the fervor with which he moved; this wasn’t about training. It was about me. I wanted to go to him, but what would I say? I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that everything would be alright, like he
had told me every day since we got to this God forsaken place. More than anything, I wanted to tell him that we would always be together. But how could I back that up? Sevie was here, in front of me, a walking, talking, and heartbreakingly good-hearted example of the Council’s power over all of us.
And if I could get out of it, would Owen even want me to? Ditching Sevie would devastate him. It would crush that golden heart and taint the rest of his life. I had seen from Dahlia the sort of resentment that second perfects had to carry throughout their lives. Could I really doom Sevie to a life with one of them? And, if I did, would Owen ever forgive me for it?
It was all too much, and I didn’t have answers for any of it. But as I watched Owen spinning around under the moon; mine and Sevie’s moon, one thing became crystal clear. I was wrong. It didn’t matter where I was born, or how I was raised. In any world, in any universe, I would want him. I would love him as I did now.
“You don’t care, do you Cresta?” Sevie’s words shook me from my sinking self-pity.
“What?” I asked, shaking my head.
“About my place in this world. I can see it in your eyes. I could be the most prolific Breaker in the history of the world or the most humble servant fate had ever known and it would all be the same to you.” He beamed and ran a gentle hand across my cheek, “It wouldn’t make a bit of difference to you, would it?”
I looked at Owen again, my heart breaking into a million jagged pieces. “No Sevie, not one bit.”
Chapter 15
Played its Hand
The day before he died in my arms, I hadn’t slept a wink. One might think that was because I knew that today was the day I would have to go before the Council. But that wasn’t it. At this point, the Council of Masons could have cut me up into little pieces and scattered me to the winds and I’m not sure I would have noticed. As strange as it sounded, the thing I was most nervous about was being in the same room with Owen. I hadn’t seen him since last night, and for the first time in my life, I could say that that was mostly by design.
The Breaker's Promise (YA Urban Fantasy) (Fixed Points Book 2) Page 16