by Pamela Ann
Feeling optimistic, I strolled to the entrance. It was all glass and black marble tiles with a touch of chrome around the bank of elevators at the far end of the building. I stopped and greeted one of the polished pretty receptionists; there were six of them. “Hello, I’m here to see Blake Knightly. Can you direct me to his office?” She stopped typing on her white Apple computer and glanced in my direction. The auburn hair, blue-eyed woman gave me a cold stare and mocked my outfit with her eyes. She almost laughed at me, but managed to stifle it. Catty much?
“And who might you be? Do you have an appointment?” Her condescending attitude continued.
“I’m Sienna Richards. I don’t have an appointment. This was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I’m one of his close friends.”
“Sure you are. Give me a minute.” With a few clicks, she spoke into her tiny headpiece and started typing. After a couple of minutes—but what felt like forever—she handed me a keycard pass with my name and pointed to the set of elevators. She instructed me to swipe the keycard on the scanner and it would take me to Blake’s floor.
Her forced smile made me leave the reception area without even saying thanks. She certainly didn’t deserve one. Is that how they receive guests here? It’s pretty scary. It was worse than going to the dentist.
I was about to step inside one of the elevators when a woman stopped and faced me with a hateful smirk. I froze. It was the woman from the text message. The picture hadn’t done her beauty justice. She was even more striking in person.
“Yes?” Here I was, hoping my frosty attitude would send her away.
“You should stop this chasing that you’re doing, querida. You will get hurt and you seem like a nice, pretty little girl.” Her Spanish accent was evident.
“I’m not chasing anyone. I’m here to see my boyfriend. So, if you please, could you move out of my fucking way, bruja!” Hag.
The woman laughed like she had all the time in her little, whimsical world. She even had the gall to look amused. She was a bitch with a capital B. “You are a little spitfire, aren’t you? No wonder my dear Blake can’t get enough. He always loves it rough, wouldn’t you say? But he won’t be yours for long.” Her wide, bitch smile was in place. “In less than four months, he’ll be officially engaged, my dear.” Engaged? Blake? No, it can’t be. This woman was bluffing and plotting because she wanted Blake all to herself.
“Engaged to whom? You? Right, like I would believe anything that comes out of that salacious, poisonous mouth of yours.” What a lowlife. Doesn’t she have anything else to do besides spewing lies and pestering others? She chuckled again in her stupid, annoying laugh. I was seriously tempted to punch the twilights out of her, but I didn’t want to make a scene.
The women looked thoughtful for a moment before she spat her venom at me. “How I wish it was me. Papa and mama love him. The lucky lady was Camilla Clayworth. He’s been engaged since he was eighteen. He didn’t tell you, did he? Well, that’s too bad. Well, it was great to meet you. Good luck!” She sauntered past me like she was up for Miss Universe. Is it true? Is Blake really engaged? He never said anything. Well duh. Start moving and ask the man himself.
I did as instructed and scanned the keycard with a shaky hand and the elevator came to life. Floor after floor I went up. The light indicator on the panel was finally on the last floor before the ‘P.’ I was assuming that it stood for penthouse.
With a silent swoosh of the elevator doors I stepped out onto the carpeted floor. There was another model-type, blonde receptionist behind a desk. Do all the receptionists in this building look like they just stepped out of Vogue? What kind of a discriminatory workplace is this? A very pretty one. It’s a no brainer why men in suits gawk and pant with all these hot women around all day at work wearing tight-fitting suits. It was no wonder lawsuits are quite common in this arena.
“Ms. Richards? I’m Larissa. Why don’t you take a seat while I page Luke? He should be here shortly to get you.”
Murmuring my thanks, I turned and sat in one of the lounge chairs. I was surprised she wasn’t hostile like the other hellcat in the lobby. Frankly, I was ready for another battle. I might get my wish if this farcical innuendo turns out to be true. I wasn’t naïve enough to think that arranged marriages were abolished back in the medieval period. They were quite common with the blue-blooded, upper-crust society. And Blake was one of them. I was sure his lineage could be traced as far back as before Christ.
Luke came to greet me before my butt had time to warm the seat cushion. He genuinely seemed happy to see me, but his mood didn’t rub off on me. I was polite, but obviously it was strained. Who wouldn’t be, given the situation?
“He’s just finishing up a call, but he should be done soon.” He opened a dark cherry oak door and I thanked him graciously.
Blake’s office overlooked the River Thames and his executive black desk sat right in the middle of the room. He was on a call but looked up when I entered and gave me one of his signature dashing smiles. I lamely waved back and strolled over to the far right floor-to-ceiling glass window and gloomily stared at the view below me. I was nervous and I had no idea how to bring the subject up. He looked happy to see me.
If he is engaged… then I have to walk away. The big question is, can I leave him? Blake had become my life. I lived and breathed him. My love for him was so much more than the kind I had felt for Kyle. Blake consumed my soul.
I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn’t hear him coming. I was jolted back into reality when I felt his arms wrap around my waist. He kissed and nuzzled my neck before speaking. “When you walked through the door, I was just thinking about you. It’s a good thing we read each other’s minds so well.”
Tilting my head so he could kiss me, I sighed with a heavy heart when our lips made contact. I kissed him like it was the last time. I kissed with my heart.
“Babe, can we talk?” My stern voice broke the spell.
“That sounds ominous. Why don’t we go and sit, shall we?” He guided me toward the other section of the room where there was a sectional couch and a bar of refreshments. Neither of us sat on it. I stood behind one of the lounge chairs, anxious. He leaned against the bar and folded his arms.
“What is it? You’re being odd.”
“Are you—by any chance—engaged?” He froze in shock. His face horrified. Oh, fuck!
“Where did you get this information?”
“From a relevant source. Be honest with me. Is. It. True?”
He exhaled a defeated sigh and weaved a hand through his hair as his other hand squeezed the bridge of his nose. “A day before I turned eighteen, my grandfather summoned me to his study. He told me that the Clayworths wanted me to marry their daughter, Camilla. When he broke the news, I wasn’t at all surprised. The Clayworths were very good friends with my parents. I grew up with Camilla and it was always spoken between our families that they wished it when the time came. Camilla’s lovely and I didn’t have any qualms about being married to her, so I said yes with one condition. The condition was for them to wait until I was at the age of twenty-five. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way; I’m so very sorry.”
“Have you had sex with her?”
“She lost her virginity to me, and on occasion, we would meet up and go somewhere for vacation. It’s been our tradition ever since the agreement. It was our way of getting to know each other.”
“You weren’t planning to tell me, huh? I’m just your little plaything on the side until you get married. I’m a quick fuck for you. I get it. I see everything clearly now.”
He rushed to my side and tried to hold my hand, but I bunched them together until they were white. I couldn’t stand to be touched by him. “No, Sienna, it wasn’t like that at all. I wanted you from the first moment. You’ve been my friend; don’t do this. I’ll fix it. I’ll talk to the Clayworths.”
“You are a liar. One of the things I asked of you is your honesty and yet from the very beginning, you were
lying. How many women have you fucked while being with me? God! I’m so stupid!”
“I haven’t had anyone, except for you.”
“Right, like I should believe what comes out of those lying lips? Forget you. I’m done. Don’t contact me because I’m through with you.”
I was about to reach for the door when he held me down with his arms, wrapping my body like steel. “I’m sorry. I’ll figure a way out; don’t leave. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Don’t do this to us.” I fought against his hold and he finally released me.
“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! You love me? This is how you show you love someone?” My tears started falling freely. “The pain I feel right now—it’s a hundred times worse than what Kyle ever did to me. This is your love? Well, I DO NOT WANT IT! Give it to your fiancée. I’m sure she’ll gladly take it, you lying sack of shit! I regret the day I let you in my life!” With that, I left and ran to the elevator.
My heart was beating frantically.
I didn’t feel relieved until I was in the safety of a cab.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
I was still in a state of shock. The whole scene flashed vividly in my mind. I ordered the driver to take me to a place where I could find some solace. I didn’t want to be bothered with questions at home from Lucy.
I paid the cab driver and entered the house with my key. I was on autopilot as I headed for the stairs. When I reached the top, I saw Kyle come out of his bedroom. His huge grin turned into a questioning frown as he got closer.
“Sienna, what’s wrong? What happened?” My knees buckled and Kyle caught me before I landed on the wooden floor.
“He’s engaged, Kyle. I’ve fallen in love with a guy who’s promised to someone else.” I started to laugh hysterically at the situation. I reluctantly followed my heart and look where that left me. The dream of having Blake in my life—waking up next to him and seeing him smile lovingly at me—was gone. All gone and soon he’d be doing all those things with the wretched Camilla. That image hit me quite literally. I howled from the pain. I cried, like how I cried when I found out my dad had died.
Kyle held me until I stopped sobbing with my pain and gently carried me to his bed, covering my body with a comforter. He didn’t even bother taking my shoes off. He placed himself on top of the comforter and held me as I cried myself into unconsciousness.
I woke up later feeling like I had drowned and been brought back to life. I checked the clock on the side table, five thirty-six a.m. I felt Kyle still holding me. Bless him, he never asked about what happened. It was always like that with him. I liked how he never asked and always waited for me to initiate it.
I was just about to slide off the bed when he stirred. “Hey, why don’t you wash up and I’ll make some breakfast? You didn’t eat last night. You have to eat something.”
Pursing my lips, I nodded. “Okay, let me just wash my face and brush my teeth then I’ll come down.”
Padding my way to the bathroom, I looked for a spare toothbrush and found one in the very last drawer. I didn’t even bother checking what my face looked like. I knew my eyes were red and swollen. I just couldn’t bear seeing it and looking myself in the eye. I just might have had a nervous breakdown.
After washing up, I took a scrunchy from my purse and tied my hair up then headed downstairs, barefoot and in my same clothes from the day before. Kyle probably took my shoes off in the middle of the night. I sighed.
I found him making two cups of coffee. There were two plates with ham and cheese omelets on the breakfast table. I took a seat as he placed a hot, freshly brewed coffee next to me. “Thank you, Kyle, but you didn’t have to wake up this early and make me breakfast.”
“You’re talking crazy. That was nothing compared to your usual crazy PMS days.”
I smiled. “Geez, why do you always bring that up? Either way; thank you.” I took a huge sip of my coffee and a hefty bite of the omelet.
We were silent for a while until he spoke, “I’m actually leaving for Heathrow to go back to LA today, for two weeks. My flight’s at ten-thirty. So I had to wake up anyway.”
I paused. He was leaving for two weeks? “You never said. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You’ve been busy with Blake since Saturday and I didn’t want to bother you. It was irrelevant.”
“How can that be irrelevant? You should’ve told me at least. I would’ve showed up at work Friday and found you gone. What the hell?”
Kyle shrugged. “I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. I just didn’t want to bother you, ’kay?”
“Well, we’re best friends. You should tell me every time you plan to leave the country. I worry, too.”
“Fine, okay. I’ll do that if it makes you happy.”
I murmured thank you and took another sip of my coffee. I didn’t have much of an appetite and I had to force myself to eat. Kyle wouldn’t have it if I didn’t eat and I couldn’t deal with another argument at that point.
Blake… was he hurting, too? Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t know him anymore. I thought I had, but that simply wasn’t the case. That mask he put on sometimes never came off. I never knew which one I’d get when I was with him. He could be deceiving. I had been dangerously playing with fire and I had gotten burnt.
Kyle took both of our plates to the sink and cleaned up. I got up and sat on one of the stools that faced him. “Hey, I was thinking… would you mind if I go home with you? I don’t want to stay here. I just want to get away for a bit. I can email my teachers and tell them that there’s an emergency back home.”
“You sure? You’re not going to get in trouble? I know you’re hurting, baby, but you can’t mess up school. You’ve worked so hard to get here; don’t mess it up. But, if your teachers are going to be okay with it, then who am I to stop you?” I went over to his side and gave him a big hug.
“Thank you! Thank you! Now, I have to go and pack. I don’t want to miss our flight.”
He called me a cab and we agreed that it would be easier for him to pick me up from the flat and we’d head to the airport from there. He’d pick me up around seven-thirty and it was already quarter past six. I technically had an hour to shower and pack.
The idea of going home with him came out of nowhere, but I was glad I thought of it because I couldn’t stand staying around after the break-up. The thought of seeing Blake terrified me. The idea of seeing him with someone else so soon was definitely going to kill me. I knew I was running away from it all, but I wasn’t strong enough to face any of my friends and explain the situation.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
The ride from Kyle’s house in Hampstead to Covent Garden took half the time than usual without traffic. I graciously thanked the driver and hurriedly entered the building. I quietly made my way into the apartment, not wanting to wake Lucy out of her sleep. I hunted for my luggage, unzipped it and lugged it onto the bed. I couldn’t even look at the bed without seeing images of Blake and me making love on it.
Shit, this is going to be difficult.
I felt like I was a walking, breathing dead person. There was a heavy-knotted feeling on my chest. Every time I breathed it hurt. It felt like someone had jammed my heart with a knife, pulled it out and left me open and bleeding.
I started taking off my clothes when I heard a knock on my door. I froze. Shit, is that Blake?
“May I come in?” Lucy’s soft voice said against the door.
“Yep, come on in,” I answered.
She walked in the room looking half awake and her eyes widened when she saw the luggage on my bed. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going back home with Kyle for a couple of weeks. I need some space… away.”
She sighed and sat next to my luggage. “Blake’s been calling my phone every hour checking if you came home. He’s going barmy and acting like a nutter. Haven’t you checked your phone?” I shook my head. I didn’t dare check it.
“Listen, I don’t know why you guys broke up a
nd I feel awful that you guys did; I love you both and I hate that it’s come to this. He didn’t want to talk about the reason why you guys did. Would it be okay if I tell him that you’re home and you’re safe? The man hasn’t slept because he’s been so worried.”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” my small voice croaked a response. She got up and hugged me.
“If going back home will help, then go, but if you’re not sure, then best you fix it with him; if there’s a chance for you both. Just think about it, okay? I love you, my dear friend. I’ll let Chad know later on today. Don’t forget to let us know that you’ve arrived safely, all right?” She kissed my cheek and quietly left the room.
My eyes burned, but no tears formed. I guess I had run out of tears from all the excessive crying I had done the night before. I jumped in the shower for ten minutes and got out to change.
Was there anything to contemplate with Blake? He lied. Technically, he hid the truth. He didn’t man up and confess his little dirty secret. Is the engagement his dirty little secret or I am? Now that I think about it, he never once asked me to accompany him to any of the events or galas he attended. Apart from our friends, he never invited me to meet other people he dealt business with.
Fuck, this realization hurts. I had always wondered, but I didn’t dwell on it because I was just happy being with him. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles. I only wanted him and I didn’t care about all the lavish parties he went to. The joke was on me. He only used me for sex. His declaration of love was pure bullshit.
I hastily changed into black, stretchy-skinny jeans and a black, fitted shirt with black, wedge heels. I pulled my wet hair into a bun and rummaged through my closet and my essential toiletries. I jammed them all in the luggage without a care. I didn’t even bother with make-up and settled for sheer lip-gloss instead. Kyle should be here in five minutes. I had better get moving so I can meet him downstairs.
I found Luce in the kitchen, drinking her morning coffee. Poor thing, she looked like hell from lack of sleep. Blake was so inconsiderate to bother Lucy in the middle of the night like a psycho. I knew he was worried, but Luce needed her sleep. Her school was taking up a lot of her time as it was. I hated Blake even more when I got a glimpse of her dark circles. We said our quick goodbyes and I left for downstairs.