Afterwards, they lay nestled in each other's arms, whispering softly like they always did when they'd made love.
“Saoirse's looking a little thin,” Conor said.
Kerry could hear the concern in his voice.
“I know, she's obsessing about her weight, I'm sure. She won't admit it to me, but it's a struggle to get her to eat much these days.”
“I noticed she spent more time pushing her food around her plate than actually eating,” Conor agreed. “It's probably just a teenage phase.”
“Hopefully,” Kerry replied. She didn't want to ruin their wonderful evening by any more talking. Tonight was about her and Conor; everything else could wait until the morning.
~~**~~
Saoirse yawned loudly and rubbed the sleep from her tired eyes. The rain was pounding loudly and incessantly against her bedroom window. It had woken her from her deep slumber. She hated the dark mornings and shorter days of winter. It was even more difficult than usual having to get up for school when it was still dark outside and totally depressing coming home in the gloom too. It wasn't quite light outside yet. She reached across to check the time on her mobile phone; it was ten past seven, much too early to get up on a Sunday. She stretched luxuriously and settled further under the duvet for another snooze, smiling to herself that her father was home.
She was glad he was back. She was getting tired of her mother's moods, which were becoming increasingly worse. All her mother seemed to want to do lately was control everything she was doing and Saoirse was getting bored of it. It felt like she couldn't blink anymore without her mother wanting to know why. She missed her sister but Emer was too busy with her own life at university and her new friends to even be bothered coming home every weekend anymore. It was boring being at home with just grumpy mom for company.
At least she had an ally in her dad now that he was home again. Hopefully he would stay for a while, although she didn't blame him for wanting to leave sooner if mom was as grumpy with him as she was with her.
Her phone beeped loudly, jolting her from her half-doze. It was Milo, her best friend, Abigail's, older brother. She squinted to adjust to the bright light of her mobile phone as she read his text.
R u awake? Can't wait to c u! Xx
She dropped her mobile on to her pink, cotton pillow and dived under the safety of the duvet, covering her head, suddenly overcome with embarrassment. She was glad that nobody could see her deep blushes. The very thought of Milo made her whole body tingle from head to toe. It was strange to see Milo in such a new light. She'd always regarded him as Abi's annoying older brother until very recently and had done her best to stay out of his way. He was constantly irritating Abi and her friends; teasing them, pulling their hair and stealing their sweets.
He'd been away in America over the summer to stay with his cousins and he'd returned an entirely different boy. Suddenly, Saoirse felt inexplicably shy around him and couldn't help blushing when he smiled at her. She found herself making an extra special effort with her appearance when she was going to visit Abi, in the hopes that Milo would be there too. She was usually such a chatterbox, but she'd been completely tongue-tied around him during the last few weeks. Her breath would catch in her throat and she would get butterflies in her stomach whenever she was near him.
He'd come back from America full of amazing stories about everything he'd seen on his trip. He'd been to Disneyland, Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon and New York City. Saoirse would sit in rapt silence listening to his enthusiastic stories about all that he'd seen and done. She was absolutely infatuated with him and had never felt anything like it before in her entire thirteen years!
Milo was fourteen, just a year older than her and they'd shared a kiss in the garden when nobody was looking. Saoirse couldn't stop thinking about him. He was the cutest boy she'd ever seen. He was a little taller than her, with blonde wavy hair that stuck up adorably in all directions. His face was lightly tanned and he had the deepest darkest chocolate brown eyes. When he smiled at her she felt like the most special person in the world. He'd even held her hand when they'd sat on the couch watching television together. It was all so romantic and she couldn't stop thinking about him and when they would next be together.
They were going to have their first official date the following Friday. Milo was taking her to the cinema and McDonald's afterwards but he had to save enough money from his part-time dog-walking job to pay for the two of them which he insisted on doing. She was too scared to tell her mother as she was absolutely convinced that her mom would ban her from going on a date so it was going to be her and Milo's secret.
~~**~~
Kerry hummed along tunelessly to the radio as she stirred the golden eggs that were scrambling in the frying pan. She always hummed when she was happy, and she was definitely happy this morning. It was good to have Conor home again and comforting to wake up to him sleeping beside her in their queen size bed. It was wonderful to have the warmth of her husband's arms around her and remembering the sheer joy of their lovemaking made her body tingle involuntarily. She lightly touched her lips which were slightly swollen at the passion of their kisses and she couldn't help smiling.
Conor was so peaceful when he slept; as if he didn't he didn't have a care or a worry in the world. She couldn't resist watching him sleep for a few minutes before reluctantly creeping quietly out of bed, leaving him snoring lightly. She didn't have the heart to wake him and wanted to surprise him with breakfast in bed. It was rare that she got the opportunity to spoil him and he deserved being spoilt every now and then.
He worked so hard to provide a wonderful home and life for all of them and never forgot important dates like her birthday or their anniversary or Valentine's Day. He loved making a fuss of her too and often surprised her with beautiful bouquets of roses. They rarely argued and he usually let her have her own way, on the rare occasion that she was in the wrong! Her sister often joked that Conor was too good to be true, but he was true and he was all hers.
Saoirse was still asleep and Kerry was grateful for the peace and quiet of the early morning. She loved this time of the day, just after sunrise when the day was still fresh and new. She gazed out at the rollling fields and hills in front of her. The green of Ireland never failed to amaze her, especially when she was flying home and coming into land. It truly was a beautiful country and even though she'd travelled far and wide there was nowhere else she would ever even dream of calling home.
“It's a new dawn and a new day and a new life for me and I'm feeling good,” she sung tunelessly whilst popping a few rounds of toast under the grill. Then she fired up the coffee machine, savouring the heady aroma of the freshly ground French coffee beans.
“Morning, mom, something smells yum.” Kerry jumped at the sound of her daughter's voice behind her.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”
“Don't worry, darling. It's not like you to be up so early. Are you feeling ok? You're looking a little flushed. I hope you don't have a temperature.”
“I'm fine, mom, don't fuss,” Saoirse tried to shake off her mother's hand from her forehead as she tested her temperature. “The rain woke me.”
“There was quite a downpour during the night,” Kerry agreed. “I hope the city won't be flooded.”
Cork city was built on the banks of the River Lee which often flooded the shops that were situated in the centre, especially if there'd been an unexpected rainfall overnight.
“I'm going to watch telly,” Saoirse mumbled, helping herself to some scrambled eggs and buttery toast.
Kerry sat on a stool at the breakfast bar and tucked into her own tasty breakfast. Conor's food was warming under the grill as she really didn't want to wake him just yet. He seemed exhausted and she'd noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes last night.
“Too much hard work and too much time staring at a computer screen,” she thought.
She'd been hoping to indulge in another session of their previous night's lovema
king but felt embarrassed now that her daughter was up and about, so instead she poured herself a mug of strong coffee and began to eat, helping herself to a second round of toast.
“Morning sleepy head,” Kerry grinned mischievously at her husband when he finally made his appearance in the kitchen.
“Morning, love,” Conor kissed his wife and playfully pinched her bum. “Is Saoirse up yet?”
“Yeah, she's watching some rubbish on the TV,” Kerry replied distractedly as she piled his plate high with buttery toast, fluffy scrambled eggs and sausages. “Go and join her. I'll bring your brekkie into you.”
“Thanks, love.” Conor padded barefoot into the living room and plonked himself down on the couch beside his daughter.
“Morning, munchkin,” he grinned at his youngest daughter.
“Dad, you've got to stop me calling that,” Saoirse scolded, trying to keep the smile out of her voice.
“You'll always be my munchkin,” he teased, playfully ruffling her unruly hair. “It doesn’t matter how old or big you get.”
He stole a glance at her as she gazed at the television. He couldn't believe how grown-up she was getting. His baby would soon be a young woman and he suddenly felt sad at the thought. Why did everything have to change? Sometimes he wished he could just freeze time and have everything stay exactly as it was. He sighed, knowing that he had some difficult decisions to make in his future, but he didn't want to dwell on anything maudlin today.
He snatched the remote controls from his daughter and began to channel surf.
“Dad! You can do that!” she cried indignantly. “I had them first! This is supposed to be a democracy and my favourite show is starting in a minute.”
“Well, it's an autocracy and I'm the king of the castle,” her dad laughed.
“King of the sand castle,” his wife said disparagingly as she gave him his breakfast.
“There you go munchkin. Put your show on.”
Saoirse grabbed the controls and switched the channel.
“What's this nonsense you're watching anyway?” Kerry asked, momentarily glancing up from the Sunday newspaper in which she was engrossed. Watching television during the day was a pet peeve of hers, but she made allowances for her family at the weekend.
“It's not nonsense, mom. It's called Marmalade and it's hilariously funny.”
Conor suddenly choked on his toast and Kerry slapped his back.
“Everything ok dear?” she asked.
“Fine, fine,” he said dismissively, taking a long gulp of his coffee.
He stared at the television, suddenly losing all interest in eating.
“Take a picture, darling, it might last longer,” Kerry said sarcastically. She glared at her husband who couldn't take his eyes off the lead actress.
“Celebrities don't count, mom, so there's no need to be jealous, that's what Abi's mom always says to her dad when she says she'd love a date with George Clooney.”
“I'm not jealous,” Kerry retorted sharply.
“She is beautiful, isn't she?” Saoirse said dreamily. “She's so exotic. I'd say she's French or Spanish with her lovely tanned skin. I wish I looked like her.”
“Darling, you're gorgeous and you certainly don't need to wish to look like anyone else,” Kerry said, but she couldn't deny that the woman on screen was striking. She had shoulder-length dark brown bobbed hair which framed her perfectly proportioned face. Dark eyebrows arched over her big brown eyes and there was a haunted air about her that was strangely mesmerising. Kerry glanced over at her husband who still hadn't taken his eyes off the woman on screen.
“Conor!” Kerry snapped, shaking him from his trance.
He jumped and struggled to regain his composure.
“Sorry, darling,” he smiled apologetically at his wife but he was pale and visibly shaken.
A peculiar feeling gripped her stomach as she watched her husband's reaction to the actress. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. The horrible sensation that something was badly wrong began to creep over her. It was unnerving. What secrets was he hiding from her? She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull him back close to her but it was beginning to feel more and more like he was slipping further away, but where he was going she did not know.
Chapte
r 10
“I'm famous!” Hope screamed, jumping up and down on the bed and rudely awakening her exhausted husband.
Niall sat up in bed and stared in bewilderment at his wife.
“Take it easy, love. You'll break the bed if you keep jumping.”
“I don't care!” Hope laughed defiantly at him. “The critics have reviewed Marmalade. I didn't want to read it without you. Are you sitting comfortably?” Hope opened the newspaper with a dramatic flourish and began to read aloud.
“This review is by the esteemed television critic Jonathan Mooney,” Hope read. “Hope Kennedy's performance as Liz in TV4's latest sitcom, Marmalade, was competent. Marmalade is quite a modest show but there were some good moments, and refreshingly it refrains from indulging in the cheap vulgarity that taints most contemporary flat-share sitcoms. Hope Kennedy plays the role of single girl, Liz, who lives in a pleasant apartment in a London Victorian town-house. She illegally sublets a room in her apartment to the incident prone Jerry. Liz is nicknamed Marmalade because of her unusual penchant for marmalade. The trials and budding romances of Liz and Jerry, along with some other minor characters in the other apartments, is the essence of the show. The sitcom provides some light entertainment where you can easily leave your brain at the door.”
“Well,” Niall was at a loss for words. He scanned his wife's face for her reaction, but she seemed utterly deflated.
“I am so insulted!” Hope murmured, completely dejected. “He described my performance as “competent.” I put my heart and soul into that role and that's all I get.” Her voice was dripping with indignation.
“Who cares what he thinks?” Niall tried to console her. “It's just one person's opinion.”
“Of course I care what he thinks!” Hope snapped. “The critics can make or break an actor with their opinion. If I get a few more horrendous reviews like his then I may as well give up now. No self-respecting director will want to hire me.”
“Don't be so dramatic,” Niall said evenly. He really wasn't in the mood for Hope's histrionics. He'd had a long, tiring few days at work and he didn't want to listen to his wife moaning about one mediocre review.
“How dare you dismiss me!” she yelled at him. “I always support you and listen as sympathetically as I can when you're droning on about yet another boring business deal. You could at least pretend to be interested in me!”
“Of course I'm interested, darling,” Niall tried to aplogise, regretting his thoughtless remark.
“Get lost!” Hope jumped off the bed, flung the paper on the floor and flounced out of their bedroom, leaving her husband alone.
He leaned back against the pillows and took a few deep breaths, bracing himself for the grovelling apology that he knew he would have to make, sooner rather than later, otherwise Hope would spend the rest of the day pouting and he really didn't want to be ignored. He loved his wife dearly but she could be very moody at times and it didn't take much to set her off. She could quite easily ignore him for days at a time, which he found agony but which she seemed to thoroughly enjoy. “It must be part of the artistic temperament,” Niall thought, rolling his eyes. Of course, making up was always fun, almost worth the argument.
Hope knew she was venting her disappointment on her husband but she didn't really care at that particular moment. She was livid at the mediocre review of her performance in the newspaper!
She'd felt lucky to play the part of Liz because she thought that the character was quite similar to herself. Liz was enthusiastic about life and saw it as a game for the most part. She was also a terrible flirt, just like Hope.
Although she'd enjoyed her acting debut, she'd been completely wracked with nerves beforeha
nd. She'd been absolutely petrified about performing in front of a live audience and was convinced that she would forget her lines. It had been quite a shock to have been cast as the leading lady on her first official foray into acting. Nevertheless she'd decided to give it her best shot. She'd actually had to hide behind the sofa when she'd watched the pilot episode, much to Niall's amusement. It was odd seeing herself on screen.
Her first day on the set of Marmalade would always be the most frightening thing that she'd ever done. She'd been terrified, especially when all the actors had to explain their roles to the audience, but she'd dived in with her characteristic aplomb and nobody would have believed that she was as nervous as she felt.
Hope was upset that Marmalade had premiered to such a mediocre review. She jumped online to check if there were any more reviews in the other newspapers. Some of the other critics praised her acting abilities but others were less than complimentary.
She decided to shut down the computer before she read another word. She was utterly deflated. It was at stressful times like this that she desperately craved a large glass of wine; anything to take the edge off, instead she had to settle for a cup of boring camomile tea. She banged around the kitchen, taking her frustration out on the cupboard doors, while she waited for the kettle to boil.
“I'm sorry, darling. I should have been more supportive,” Niall skulked into the kitchen.
“Whatever,” Hope didn't even look at him as she poured boiling water into her cup.
She brushed past him and opened the balcony door, watching the tumultuous rain as it poured down in buckets.
Niall retreated to the safety of the living room away from his wife's raging mood.
“I'm never going to make it as an actress, am I?” Hope asked, finally joining her husband on the couch where he was engrossed in the sports channel.
“Of course you're going to make it, darling,” he tried to reassure her and put his arm around her. “This is your first acting role, you can't expect to be an overnight sensation.”
Secrets and Lies Page 11