by K. L. Jessop
Chapter Ten
Amelia
A suited muscular man always pushed the right buttons for me and the one currently ogling me over his coffee cup in Rock Waves was no different. He’s making my libido rocket, his hazel eyes complete with sexy grin and day old stubble is too much and I couldn’t take my eyes away. Not once has he made meanings to take whatever this is between us further and as much as it’s killing me, unbeknown to him I find it one of the greatest gifts he’ll ever realise.
Men were off the radar. They were nothing more than heartless vultures and never cared of the hurt they cause in the process. Megan disagrees and will think nothing of a quick hook up to satisfy her needs. There are no such stories of happy endings when it comes to men, not for me. No white knights or heroes, just hurtful monsters waiting in the wings of a dark world to inflict pain. However the man sat before me like a lightning bolt came from nowhere and captured my mind and is slowly making me realise that maybe all is not what it seems when it comes to men. He’s winning me over with his charm and possessiveness, forever bringing me flowers, skipping work hours for day trips and treats me with care whenever we’re together.
I’m brought out of my thoughts when Marcus waves his hand in front of me. “Where did you go just then, want to talk about it?”
“No, I’m fine.” I brush him off stirring my Latté. If I’ve learnt anything these last couple of weeks it’s that Marcus is becoming incredibly good at reading me, watching me closely and his eyes never far from me. “So what are your plans today?” I ask, trying to divert onto something new. His brows rose as he sat forward clearing his throat.
“I go to work, boss people around. Then later I have a date with a beautiful red head.”
Ugh there he goes with the beautiful. “Is that right?”
“Yep, and she’s coming round to mine as well so I can show off my hugely expensive mansion and all the properties I own.” He beams as I roll my eyes, reminding me of the fact he has properties all over and is incredibly wealthy yet he looks so…ordinary. Surely a man with his work ethic should be in skyscraper buildings with letters after his name, not sat in some beach diner drinking coffee with a woman constantly living on the edge.
“Hey, my little sex kittens,” Megan calls, planting kisses on both our cheeks while her body is clearly screaming for sleep. “Marcus, tell me. Is it in my contract to work nights when I’m a Front of house?”
I chuckle answering for him, “Afraid so babe, you do have Night Auditor on your CV.”
She huffs, “Ugh well it sucks. You know, Andrew is an asshole; I swear he has some kind of device up his ass that programmes his moods. I spoke to him this morning and shit me if looks could kill, I’d be the walking dead right now. I mean have you ever seen smile? The man’s a beast.”
A deep laugh rumbles from Marcus as he stands. “He only smiles when no one’s looking. I’ll get you a coffee.” He heads towards the counter as my eyes follow him.
“Sooo, how are things?” Megan questions, darting her eyes between me and Marcus.
“Good. Great.”
“Christ you’re really convincing me with your forthcoming information here.”
I sighed and sit forward so only she could here. “I’m freaking out about what happens next. There’s only so much kissing you can do before things get frustrating and before you say it I know I just need to try.”
“You’ll be fine, trust me. Don’t hide yourself from him babe.” She squeezes my arm and kisses me on the head before heading over to Marcus, who’s just called her. I watch the pair of them deep in conversation waiting for their orders, I can tell by the look in Megan’s eyes she’s doing her ‘don’t mess with her talk’, it’s only confirmed when Marcus glances at me, running his eyes over my body causing goosebumps as he stands with such efficiency and poise. How in the world have I got into this situation, a stunner like him not hiding his desire for my body, while I’m doing everything within my power to hide it from him. My only concern is how he will actually feel once my clothes are off, because in my eyes I’m anything but beautiful.
***
“My god this place is huge.” My eyes scan the interior of Marcus’s house. The spacious kitchen/dining area, is light and airy with a fridge big enough to throw a party in. Floor to ceiling windows that overlook the ocean were the main feature in the dining room while the oak table filled the space around me.
“Come, I’ll show you the rest,” he chuckles, handing me a glass of wine.
Beach wood furniture, cream sofas and vaulted beams that run across the high ceiling were the features of the living room. One width of the outside wall had more floor to ceiling windows letting in the perfect amount of light as two wide doors opened onto a large balcony surrounded by rattan seats and mid-height glass panels that ran along the outside edge of the balcony wall. It was simply breathtaking.
Marcus stands behind me wrapping an arm around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder as we overlooked the sands below. “There’s a place to the right of those rocks called Marbles Cove, it’s the most stunning beach, and not many people know it’s there.”
“I’ve never heard of it. I often go to Preston Bay.” My place of peace, where I go to collect my thoughts. Golden sand and a deep pool of blue water that lay untouched.
“Marbles Cove is spectacular. Glittering sands and shells in every colour you can imagine. I’ll take you there one day.”
“I’d like that, thank you. Your house is beautiful, Marcus.”
Dinner was a delicious meal of some fancy style chicken with fresh vegetables, washed down with a bottle of white wine. I had no involvement in the kitchen, I was forbidden and had strict instructions to relax and make myself at home. So I took the opportunity to scoot into the world of Mr Matthews. It seems he’s very successful with properties and developments. Several gold-plated and glass awards lined the high shelves of his library whilst plans and sketches coated the large mahogany desk. Heavy photo frames capture his beamed smile along with a beautiful elegant woman who I can only assume is his mother. The love that radiates around them brought a smile to heart along with a sting of hurt from my own memories of my family I no longer have.
The soft glow of the balcony lights fill the space around us with a yellow-orange hue as the rumble of the ocean plays its music in the distance. My legs curl behind me as we sit out in the night air; Marcus trails his fingers over my knee whilst he checks his phone as I study him, no matter what he’s doing I always have his attention somehow, the little signs of wanting me in his presence rather than making me feel like an outcast. I don’t understand what he’s doing to me, it’s confusing. I’ve never felt this way before. I should be afraid of him but I find myself breathtakingly fearless and wanting more, and that scares me.
“I believe you’re staring, Miss Weston?” Placing his phone aside he takes my arms swiftly moving me to straddle him. “What are you thinking about?”
“That you should’ve let me help with dinner.”
A slight curve forms his lips. “Well I didn’t want you too. Now tell me what you’re really thinking.”
Exhaling I take my eyes from his, focusing on my fingers that fidget with his shirt and give him my admission. “You confuse me, Marcus,” I murmur. “I should be running from you to protect myself yet I find myself not wanting to. I’m not use to that. And I’m certainly not use to being treated with such kindness.”
He straightens so our bodies are pressed against each other, raising my chest into him as he cups my neck and smoothed his thumbs over my jaw. “You deserve all the kindness anyone can give, Amelia. I don’t want you to run from me either, but if you do I’ll be right behind you bringing you back.”
“I’ve never been treated this way before, Marcus; I don’t know what to do.”
“Just do what you feel is right.”
He kiss was silky. Relaxing my body like he always had a way of doing. Falling into him like a feather floating to the ground and freei
ng me from worries with each stroke of his tongue. His fingers are laced in my hair and I tip my head aside so his lips pepper over my neck, nipping tiny bits of my skin and causing me to whimper. My body’s on fire, the flesh between my thighs aches for him as his own arousal pressed against his jeans. I need to go. I shouldn’t be here, it’s not fair that I’m putting us both through the same undeniable torture, knowing it can’t be any more than what it is because of what I am.
His hand slips under the front of my dress as panic runs my body. “Marcus, I ca-” I begin to push back but he grips my hips firmly, my eyes-widen with the intensity to keep me in place.
He loosens his hold but his hands never leave my hips when his voice was just above a whisper, “I’m not going to hurt you, Amelia. But I really need to touch you.” Lust coated his eyes as I stare back at him, trying to connect my mind with normality. “I want to show you I’m not like the others. That I’m not like your last. You don’t have to be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid.” I breathe out in a whisper.
He pulls me close to his face, his breath brushing against my lips. “Your eyes tell me different baby. Let me make you feel good, Amelia. Let me touch you.” His words were filled with empathy and yearning and I couldn’t deny my need for him even if I tried.
I nod as all sense of reason banish.
My pulse quickens when his fingertips run along my lace panties to shift them aside, I ache for his touch yet my body it thick with trepidation. A low moan escapes me, and my eyes slam shut with the welcome invasion of his fingers in my slickness. I drop my head to his, holding the firmness of his shoulders once he pushes a finger inside, then another, awakening and relaxing my body. “Oh god, don’t stop!” His thumb circles my swollen bud, electricity shooting through me in pleasurable waves. It’s been so long since I’ve been touched by another; I feel I could explode any minute.
“I want to be the one that makes you feel alive, Amelia,” he murmurs. “I need to be that person.”
I feel intoxicated, paralysed by his touch, while my mind becomes a cloud of emotions as tingles increase in my lower belly. Never in my life have I felt anything like this, it opens up a complete new world to the one I’ve lived in, and to the one I knew. No man has ever made me feel this good. With or without intimacy. Even in the time of working me with his fingers Marcus makes me feel safe, cared for. Wanted. Sparks soar up my thighs, tantalizing me with its intensity as I begin to tighten around him. “Marcus,” I whimper.
“Don’t be afraid baby, just let go. I’ve got you.”
I came hard, shattering around him with an orgasm that took my breath and ripped through me, muffling out my cries with his deep kiss and wrapping his arm around my back. Unwanted emotions try to fight to the surface of my mind but I push them aside and enjoy the closeness of our bodies as mine hummed in satisfaction. “Thank you.” I whispered, burying my head into the crook of his neck and wanting to stay there forever.
“Stay with me tonight.”
I froze at the four words I didn’t want him to say. The four words that in one way meant much more to what just happened. My instant pleasure was suddenly crushed as my head shakes in response still buried in his neck. “I can’t. It’s too soon.”
He pushes me up to meet his gaze, his eyes showing both disappointment and plead. “We don’t have to do anything. I’ll sleep on top of the covers if you need me to?”
“You’ll do that?” my brows narrow. “Why would you do that?”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to make you stay. I want to wake up beside you. You need to trust me.” For the first time in so long I pushed away everything that was screaming at me and decided to go with my gut. And even though there was apprehension there was also that big ball of ‘just fucking try’ bouncing around inside me. “Amelia, do you trust me?”
“Yes. Yes I trust you.”
“Then stay with me.”
If I want the second chance I’ve longed for then maybe this is it, maybe it’s looking right at me. I have to move forward, I have to try and let people in. To let Marcus in and in all honesty I don’t want to be on my own tonight, because like every other year that passes tomorrow marks the day I face unwanted reminders and melancholy, and for the first time in years waking up alone was something I didn’t want.
“I’ll stay.”
Chapter Eleven
Amelia
My lips curved as a soft kiss dusts my nose and awakens my body from its slumber. A pleasant mixture of strong coffee and body wash hits my senses and even with eyes closed I can feel Marcus’s gaze on me. Last night for the first time in so long I let somebody get close and sleep beside me. He made his promise and started out on top of the covers until I invited him in. A strange feeling of being more vulnerable with him on the outside come over me. He could of easily bind my body and trapped me if he were to of straddled me. I needed to know of his movements and by inviting him into his own bed was the only way.
“You need to wake up beautiful,”
“And as before you need to stop saying that.” I groaned, burying my head into the pillow. Once I peel open my eyes I’m smacked in the face with a half-naked man in work trousers topped with sculpted curves and hard lines that I want to run my nails along. “Oh wow, good morning!” I grin, causing him to chuckle.
“We need to get going or we’ll be late.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You looked so peaceful. Oh and that’s been buzzing for the last half hour.” Pointing to my phone that was flashing up a reminder of a message. Scooping myself to sit up I grab my phone, sliding my finger across the screen. I suck in a breath as I’m hit with the date I wish to forget, June 2nd.
Lucas: I am thinking of my beautiful blue eyed girl today and wish I were there to hold you. Stay strong. Someone needs to keep an eye on that crazy ass sister of mine. Love you Ginger Spice and no matter what each day brings, just try. Forever proud of you. xx
Melancholy washes over my happy state. Today is one of the hardest days I face, a reminder of what I have and haven’t got in my life.
“What’s wrong?” Marcus asks, coming to sit on the bed and brushing the back of his hand over my cheek.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” providing a fake smile. His gaze searches my face for answers I’m not willing to give before a look of disappointment comes followed with a sigh.
“Get dressed, we’ll be late.”
I grab my clothes and head to the bathroom, making sure the shirt that Marcus leant me covers my body from him. Last night I slipped into bed and made sure the shirt was twisted tight against my body so no desire fuelled hands could make their way underneath. Exposing myself was a whole new level of unwanted territory I didn’t want to go down just yet.
“Amelia, I’ll give you privacy if you want it, but don’t lock the door like you did last night. You need to know that you’re safe around me.”
I’m yet to tell Marcus any part of my past. The extreme cold love from my ex, and the fact my dad now hates me because my mum died. It’s not every day you ask your Daddy to step in and help you break from a volatile relationship you saw no way out of. I thought he’d save me but it turned out to be Megan and Lucas. I can only imagine the reaction Marcus will give once I tell him I’m dependent on therapy sessions. And once he finds out, it won’t be me running-it will be him.
***
The heavenly vision of a naked chest from this morning has now become a distant memory along with a crap filled day turning sour by the second. Everywhere I looked June 2nd slapped me in the face on every turn. Megan spotted my depressed mood as soon as I walk through the Hotel doors and enveloped her arms around me, she’s put up with a lot of shit I’ve thrown her way over the years-we’ve talked, cried and screamed at each other as I become a bitter broken mess, it’s unthinkable to imagine what hell I put her through. She didn’t have to stay-no one else did but she has and I will be forever thankful for that.
“How you doing?” she a
sks softly as we hid ourselves in the restroom.
“I stayed at Marcus’s last night and before you ask we never had sex.”
“We’ll it’s a big step and a great one, but that’s not what I meant. How are you really doing?” she bats her sympathetic lashes.
I sighed, resting my head on the wall and briefly closing my eyes. “Ok, I can’t wait to get home and shut the world out. I had a text from Lucas this morning.”
“Yeah I spoke to him last night. Are you seeing Marcus later?”
“No, I cancelled our plans earlier. I’m not great company right now.”
She wraps her arms tight around me as we hold each other. “I love you, you know that right? If I didn’t have to work I’d be right with you.”
The ball of emotion thickens in my throat with her words, knowing she’s hating the fact she can’t be with me on a day that brings a truck load of haunted memories and emotions. “I know. Come on let’s go, I’ve still got room attendants to yell at before I leave.”
***
The tears that I’ve fought all day roll down my cheeks as my finger glides over the glass frame that holds the photo of my mother, her sharp blue eyes and rich red hair that cascaded down her shoulders cocooned her pale complexion as thin pink lips show off her remarkable smile.
Today would have been her birthday and eight years since her death. This day alone brought emotions for so many reasons and no matter the years that past, it never got easier to bare. I felt the need to celebrate for her, yet I mourned for her dearly. Whatever I felt on this day was never the right feeling to have and that alone was a massive head fuck.
The morning of her birthday was filled with flowers, gifts and classical music. The all-female musical ensemble was mum’s favourite girl crush and dads annoying ear piece that he pretended to enjoy. Whenever they were on T.V endless conversations were held as we talked about their stunning prom dresses that dazzled in beads and lace.