by K. L. Jessop
I remember every second of what happened and I know it won’t leave me anytime soon as each time I close my eyes I see his lifeless eyes and sickly grin as he towered over me. I gave up my fight for survival once the hammers to my ribs came; blow by blow I felt my bones cracking inside me as more air left my body. Tumbling me to the ground as my legs were taken from under me. I was immobile, lifeless and too exhausted to fight back, and when his solid body straddled mine and pressed his hands around my windpipe I gave up all hope of trying.
But then as I began to fall into a world of bright lights and coloured stars I saw his face. His smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle and the hazels that make time stand still when I look into them. His heart that fixed mine and the warmth of his body that holds me closes and makes me feel alive. That’s when I knew I couldn’t give up, I had to keep on fighting. Fight for that one person that’s change everything in my life and brought me out of the darkness. I couldn’t let Daniel win and take my heart away from me again now that it had been repaired. So I fought.
“Hey, you’re awake.” Marcus smiles as he enters the room, easing my apprehension in me the moment his eyes were on me.
“Where did you go?” I ask softly.
“You were sleeping so I made a few calls to keep everyone updated and thought it was best I changed my shirt.” He placed the overnight bag on the floor and comes to me.
“So now that everyone is updated are you here to stay with me?” I wanted him as close to me as possible, terrified that Daniel could still come after either of us.
“I’m all yours. I’m not going anywhere.” I didn’t have to tell Marcus I was scared because he felt it. After I woke I didn’t let him go for hours and clung to him like my life depended on it while he whispered reassuring words in my ear.
He kicks off his shoes and climbs up on the bed, carefully trying not to knock me. The high dosage of meds took away the majority of the pain but there were times when it shot through my body leaving my crying out and unable to get comfortable.
“Mum sends her love and said to say she’ll be back in the morning along with Lucas who’s getting in shortly.” I forgot Rosa had come back, I was meant to be meeting her for lunch today and no doubt cry on her shoulder over Marcus. And the thought of Lucas coming back makes me feel more protected than ever. He loves throwing his weight around when it comes to his girls and I expect he’ll do just that with the doctors and police officers that continue to harass me with questions. Not long after I woke and cried a river on Marcus with the overwhelming feeling of being alive and having him with me, they bombarded me with questions. Only then it was Marcus who went all cave man and told them they’d had enough from me.
“Is she mad we never got to do our ladies with little food but more wine lunch?” I smile as I rest my head on his chest to listen to his heart.
“Oh yeah, I’ve not heard the end of it. She no doubt hired topless waiters and everything and is highly disappointed that you went and ruined her afternoon of fun.”
The giggle that left me took my breath with the sharp pain that rippled through me torso. “Fuck, don’t make me laugh.”
“Sorry, babe.” He murmurs kissing my hair.
My eyes fall heavy with exhaustion while I try to remove the vision of Daniel from my mind once my lids close. Minutes ticked by before I felt the gentle stroke of Marcus’s fingers over my cheek as he murmurs, “Amelia, I need to tell you something.”
My stomach flopped with dread as my eyes drew open to find his. Worry filling his hazels as he searched my face and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to say. “Mum called your dad to let him know what had happened. She thought that despite everything he needed to know.” His eyes focus on my neck before coming back to me. “I’m sorry baby, but he’s not coming. He doesn’t want to be here.”
So he really had abandoned me and cut me off from his life. “O-oh um, that’s ok. Thank you for telling me.” I whispered, resting my head back down on his chest. After everything my dad and I had been through I still hoped that one day all would be forgiven and that I’d have him in my life again. Move on from all the hurt between us and start over like mum would have wanted. But no, even after the first time I asked him to save me from Daniel and now after finding me again to try and finish me off he still sits and wallows in his own self-pity and misery. Am I really that much of a letdown for looking like my mother that he can’t bear the thought of me?
Much to my own annoyance I couldn’t contain my emotions any longer and the tears soon burst from my eyes. I cried hard. I cried for everything that had happened and everything that never did. I cried for me. For my family old and new and for the man holding me as he shelters my body. I then cried because I didn’t know why I was crying, all the while Marcus cradled me and spoke sweet words of love. Which only caused more tears because he was being way too nice and I couldn’t take all the overwhelming feelings that funnelled through my body.
My overactive state left me in pain and a sweaty mess, making the nurse come check over me and boosting me with more painkillers. I couldn’t help to smile at the eye-fuck she gave Marcus and the blush that hit her cheeks once he thanked her for her help.
“Marcus, can you freshen me up please? I feel disgusting.” I request as my post sobs still shuddered through my body as I spoke.
He’s been my permanent male nurse since the minute I woke up, fetching me water, running around after doctors and now carefully removing my hospital gown to clean me-much to the nurses disapproval. I wasn’t allowed to move too much in case of rupturing the stitches in my belly but I couldn’t lay here in my own dried blood any longer.
My torso was a web of blues and reds from the bruises and I could see Marcus retreating from me once I lay in just my panties. His eyes full of remorse and anger as they darted to the floor.
“I was so afraid of losing you, Amelia,” he says quietly. “If I knew this was going to happen I’d never of pushed you away. I just saw red when I walked into to your office and my fucked up mind thought I was back in the past. Please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant this; I’ll never push you away again, I swear.”
Tears filled his eyes as I reached for his hand. Pulling him close with the one arm I could use and kissing his cut knuckles on both his hands. “You never hurt me, Marcus, it was all him. I was afraid of losing you too because I knew what his lies could do, but you came for me and you saved me. That’s all that matters. None of this was your fault; please don’t let this eat away at you. Ok? This. Wasn’t. You.”
He nods, sniffing back his tears and dipping the face cloth into the bowl. The coolness of the water on my skin was like I’d fallen into heaven as I laid and watched his angel hands work their magic. Relieving the tightness of my skin and feeding my dry pores with the moisture it desperately craved, caressing and cleaning my tender blood stained body with delicacy trying not to hurt me.
I sniffed his shirt hard before he carefully placed it over my body, pushing only one arm through the sleeve as I couldn’t straighten the other before he eased me down on to the mattress, whimpering with pain. Once he finished cleaning up he turn off the main light to the room so the warm glow of the night lamp filled the darkness. We lay silent on the bed, resting my head on Marcus’s chest while he plays with my hair, dosing on and off once my body become more relaxed and pain free.
“Tell me something true.” I whisper. One of the hardest parts of not being with him was our little games we’d play. Snippets of unimportant information that sometimes had us giggling for hours with how ridiculous it was.
“You’re beautiful.”
“Oh please,” tapping his shoulder. “Your such a liar have you seen my face, I look like I’ve had a failed round of Botox.”
“I’ll have you know, Miss Weston, I am no liar and when I say you look beautiful it’s because you do, now enough of the negativity your face will heal. Your turn.” he smiled, triumphant I had no come back.
&n
bsp; “I’ve not had an orgasm in nearly three days.” I chuckle.
“Me neither and as much as I’d like to help you out on that one I think it’s best we wait till you’re less sore.”
“Oh, you’re no fun.” I say with a sigh. “Your turn, tell me something true.”
“I’m going to kiss you,” he grinned. “I promise I’ll be gentle.” And gentle he was. He brushed his lips softly over mine as the tips of our tongues touched. Slow and passionate. It was like everything fell into place with that one kiss. My heart swelled with recognition that I was so afraid of feeling. My mind snowballing with everything that had happened and behind my unshed tears it blinded me with what I saw before me. I knew then but now everything become clear. I wasn’t afraid anymore and as long as I had Marcus I knew my demons would be crushed with his power.
“Your turn. Tell me something true.”
“I love you, Marcus.” He froze as his eyes flashed to mine, filling his hazels with awe as a slight smile curved his lips.
“What?” he breathes.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you and I’m sorry I never told you sooner but I was just scared. Scared because when I met you I found me and I’ve not felt those feelings you were making me feel. So I tried to bury them because I thought that was the right thing to do but I realise now I was wrong. Because by doing that I hurt you and I never wanted that.” He goes to speak but I stop him, completely abandoning our game with my admission that now rolls freely from my lips and felt so fucking good to hear myself say the words aloud that I’d wanted to say in weeks.
“You’re my everything, Marcus, and I want nothing more than to spend every waking minute with you. I want you to hold me when I’m scared, kiss me when I’m sad, care for me when I’m sick and love me forever.” I place my hand on his jaw to catch the tear that’s fallen and melted my heart. “Will you love me forever, Marcus?”
He’s silent for a moment, looking deep into my eyes as he reads me. “When I came back here I only wanted to slip back into a life in which I missed. I never came looking and I certainly didn’t expect to fall, but I have. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Amelia. You captured me from that very moment; you’re in my heart, my soul and forever on my mind. You’re with me, around me and within me. I want to protect you and keep you safe. But most of all I promise that I will love you forever and always.”
His kiss stole my breath, running his tongue along my bottom lip before slipping it deep into my mouth. My cut lip stung and my face ached from his hungriness but I didn’t care. I’ve missed him so much and this kiss engulfs me hard, sucking the life from me and making my heart fit to burst with the flutters he never fails to provide.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.” I grinned as I ran my fingers down his cheek. I finally felt free. The very last piece of my heart I was so desperate to try and control had unattached itself and been swept away, leaving me fresh, new and open to be loved. “I loved you then. I love you now. I’ll love you always.”
His grin was the size of the ocean as the tears still glassed his eyes. “You didn’t have to say what your eyes hadn’t already told me, but you have no idea what that means hearing you say that.”
“I’m sorry I took so long to say it.”
“It doesn’t matter. I love you, Amelia, with all my heart. I will fight the world for you and I promise to take care of you always.”
He kisses me again, wiping my own tears in return as his thumb strokes over my cheek. I stare into his eyes and fall into the world of just us. I still fall for this man every day and want nothing more than to spend my future with him. Marcus never fails to ignite new promises and passion. He’s proven to me that a life of love does exist and that no two men are the same. Every day I’m his queen, the way he tends and cares for me is overwhelming, the way I can open up to him is nothing like I’ve ever experienced. He knows me all the way through to the inside of my heart and soul and I’m no longer afraid to bare all. I’m no longer afraid to fall and no longer afraid to love. He’s changed me in many ways, I love him unconditionally and I no longer have to bottle up the good times and keep them for the times I need to replay them. Because every second of the day that this man is glued to me is more than just a good time. He’s my first true love, my missing piece of the puzzle I’ve been searching for all these years and I will be forever thankful that I was found by him.
Epilogue
Amelia
Three Months later
I stretch my overly satisfied body and grin aware of what was happening on the other side of the door. I forgot to text Megan back earlier and I knew she’d be round to check I was ok.
“Are you two fucking? Because as much as I love sex, I really don’t want the memories of Marcus’s nakedness in my mind, especially as I can’t touch.”
Marcus quickly shoots up from his doze and covers himself with the sheets as Megan stands in the bedroom doorway covering her eyes. “Megan, what the fuck!” He shrieks in panic as I lay there giggling. Yeah I forgot to tell him she has my new key.
“Didn’t you get my text? I sent you both one hours ago.”
“We were otherwise engaged babe. And you can uncover your eyes now.”
She lifts her hands down and blinks with a smile, looking at us before locking her eyes on Marcus. “Holy shit your abs get better by the second. What else is going on under those sheets?” she winks.
“What do you want, Megan?” Marcus chuckles with a hint of red in his cheeks. Like always Megan makes herself completely at home and crawls up the mattress to lie on her belly between us like a child in mummy and daddy’s bed.
“Hi,” she whispers with a shit ass grin. I roll my eyes and reach for my phone and read her text out aloud.
“Fuck yeah. Beach party and campfire night. Bring booze and shirtless man. See you in a few hours you horny kitten.” I place the phone on my tummy and tilt my head with a cocked brow.
“What? It’s Saturday, it’s still warm out and it needs to be filled with over muscled men dripping in sea water. Just because you have Mr Man Candy here doesn’t mean I have to stop looking.” She tips her head to Marcus with a raised brow. “I sent you a text too.”
He grunts and reaches down taking his phone from his jeans pocket he abandoned earlier and reads out her text. “Put Amelia down and get her to answer her phone you ass-wipe.”
“I wouldn’t have had to call you that if ginger here answered her messages.”
“And who do you suppose we bring to this beach campfire thing?” Marcus says scratching his belly. “I only know Andrew as Jack and Nathan are both working at Rubies.”
“Andrew will be fine.” She says with a glimmer of something in her eye. I look at Marcus who sighs with an eye roll as Megan looks on, battering her lashes with plead.
“Fine, we’ll come down to the beach, but no heavy drinking, I’m still recovering.”
“Ugh, please. Recovering from hot sex more like.” She replies before leaning into Marcus and whispering. “You can get up now, Marcus. I promise I won’t look at your nakedness.”
“Goodbye, Megan.” He says dryly.
“Please, just sneaky peak?”
We both giggle as he shakes his head in amusement. “I’m not leaving this bed till you leave this fucking room.”
“Ugh, no fun.”
I was in hospital just over a week and once I was up for visitors I had everyone running round after me like mother hens. Lucas had arrived and like I predicted threw his weight around demanding answers, and if that wasn’t enough I later had to calm Marcus down once he found out the trial against Daniel won’t be for a few more months. Nadia sent us a long letter of apology and dropped the lawsuit against Marcus for assault on her employee. Only to be slapped in the face with one from Marcus for failing the correct protocol when hiring staff with fraudulent personal details.
My recovery hasn’t been as easy as I hoped. My wounds healed quickly but it was the aftermath
I struggled with. Stepping into my house brought back all the haunts and everywhere seemed to be laced with Daniel’s presence causing me to have panic attacks and not being able to go back there. I’ve officially moved in with Marcus and he has now set up his business here in Spring Rose while Rosa commutes to and from the city so Marcus can stay with me until I’m fully recovered.
Even though in one sense I’m in a better place than what I was years ago, I often felt like I’d fallen back into the dark world. Without warning my mind would be overshadowed with unpleasant memories of the evil and my nightmares were just as vivid as I remember which resulted into more appointments with my therapist. I was just thankful I had more people around me that understood my emotional state.
“Are you sure you feel up to this dear?” Rosa questioned as I stuff my thick cardigan into my beach bag. The season was heading into late autumn and although it was still warm during the day at night the sea breeze got to your bones.
“Yes, I’m fine, Rosa. I’ve packed for all weathers and I’m excited to hit the beach. I feel like I’ve not been out in days.”
“That’s because we haven’t, babe.” Marcus winks finishing his coffee.
We finished packing the final bit’s that Megan ordered us to bring and placed the bags in the car. It felt great to be out the house, the weather has been unpredictable with storms and high winds the last few days but now the sky is clear as the late afternoon sun warms my skin.
Rosa went on ahead as Marcus had to stop off at The Grand to check on a few things whilst I waited in the foyer chatting to Felicity. I’m not back working full time yet as the long hours exhaust me, but I try and do as much work as my body will let me. By the time we left it was dusk once we headed to meet the others.
“Marcus, why are we heading to Marbles Cove? I thought we we’re meeting Megan?”
“We are but I asked her to meet up here. I thought our own private party would be better.”