A Reason To Live (Reason #3)

by CP Smith

  Heller swung back around and looked at Shane. His breathing was accelerated and his hold on me tightened.

  Shane mouthed three when Heller pointed his gun back at him and I reacted, slamming my foot into his instep followed with an elbow to the wound in his side. He grunted in pain and his grip loosened, so I head-butted him in the mouth. I saw stars for a moment.

  Then a shot rang out.

  Shane flew back and hit the ground, and I shrieked, “Shane!” as Heller disappeared from behind me. I screamed, “Get a doctor!” and ran to his prone body.

  “Shane? Talk to me, please. Oh, God. Jack, get a doctor!” I shouted, looking back at where they stood.

  I was surprised when I found Max standing over Heller’s body, Jack and Barry both moving toward him.

  “Did he just break his neck?” Barry asked as he shouldered his weapon.

  “He shot my mother,” Max seethed.

  “But you just broke his neck like it was a twig,” Barry replied warily.

  “I should have ripped his heart out, too.”

  “Get a doctor!” I shrieked again. Jack looked at me and grinned.

  What was wrong with him?

  “Baby.”

  I looked down into Shane’s open eyes.

  “Where are you hit?” I cried out, searching his chest for blood.

  “Next time I tell you not to move,” Shane grunted, “you fuckin’ listen.”

  Was he kidding me right now?

  “We can argue about this later!” I shouted, in hysterics. “Where are you hit?”

  Shane reached up then and grabbed my neck, yanking me down until my mouth was on his. “I’m gonna tan your hide when I get you home,” he breathed into my mouth and then he kissed me . . . Thoroughly.

  “I don’t understand?” I muttered when he broke free of my mouth.

  “I’ve got a bulletproof vest on.”

  “What?” I shoved him back, rising to my knees. “You made yourself a target on purpose? Are you crazy? What if he aimed for your head?”

  “I knew he wouldn’t. Soldiers are trained to aim for the body.”

  “What if he had one of those armor-piercing bullets?” I pointed out.

  Shane pushed up slowly, grimacing as he did. I reached out and helped him until he was on his feet. “It was a risk worth takin’ to keep you safe,” he answered in a slow exhale.

  My bottom lip began to tremble.

  The past two days came to a head.

  Shane could have been killed and Maxine could die, all because of me.

  When I drew a deep breath to control my tears, Shane yanked me into his body and wrapped his arms around me, holding on tight. “I thought you were dead,” I hiccupped.

  “Shh, I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

  I burrowed in deeper and began to shake.

  “Sage, where’s Jenn?” Jack shouted.

  I froze.

  “Oh. My. God. Heller hit her in the head, Shane. She’s out cold in the waiting room,” I whispered.

  Shane curled me into his side and shouted, “Heller knocked her cold! She’s in the waiting room!”

  Jack paled, then he took off running into the hospital.

  “She’s okay,” Max stated as he followed his cousin with his gaze. “We found her after Heller left with you. She was holding her head and spittin’ mad.”

  Shane tried to guide me past my stepfather’s body, shielding me from the violence, but I locked my legs and looked down. I felt nothing. No remorse that he was dead. No spark of anger. Nothing.

  The crash and burn would come later, I knew. Probably when I was alone with Shane. But for now, we had to worry about Maxine.

  “I still can’t believe you broke his neck like it was nothin’,” Barry mumbled, looking at Max with confusion, maybe even a little bit of wariness. “You just snapped it and then let him drop as if ending his life was easy.”

  “You should see him with a knife,” Shane murmured in my ear.

  Max crossed his arms and glared at Barry. “I’ll kill any man who harms my family.”

  “Big guy, I don’t think you should say that in front of an officer of the law,” Shane advised.

  Max turned to Barry and raised a brow. “You don’t get this yet since you’re still pinin’ for a woman you can’t have, but when you’ve got a reason to breathe, a fuckin’ reason to live—you’ve got a reason to kill with absolutely no regrets. He shot my mother, tried to kill my wife, and took a shot at a man who is like my brother. I’d snap it again and lose not a wink of sleep, I can promise you that.”

  Barry’s mouth grew taut at the mention of pining for a woman he couldn’t have, and I wondered who he was in love with.

  After a moment of considering Max’s avowal to kill anyone who harmed his family, Barry finally nodded. He understood.

  The night sky filled with the sound of a helicopter landing just as the doors swung open and security came rushing out, followed by medical personnel.

  Barry’s radio sprang to life and he pulled it from his belt.

  “I got this,” Barry said, putting his hand out to Max. “Go inside and wait for news about your mother.”

  Max shook his hand and jerked his chin. Then he turned and rushed inside. Shane and I followed on his heels and made our way back to the waiting room. When we arrived, Mia waylaid me with a hug as Jack helped Jenn lie down with an ice pack, his jaw clenching as she groused, “Do I have a sign on my back or a tattoo on my forehead that reads ‘hostage for hire’?”

  Shane and I took a seat next to Max and Mia, and I tried not to watch the Jack and Jenn Show.

  “Stop bein’ cute, this is serious,” Jack sighed.

  “Then stop ordering me around. I was heading straight home when he ran us off the road, so don’t you dare threaten me with incarceration.”

  “Are you tryin’ to test my last nerve?”

  “Yes. My head hurts, I’m worried about Maxine, and I want to hit something.” She eyed Jack from head to toe . . . “Move closer so I can take a swing at you,” she ordered, then her bottom lip began to tremble. Our night was catching up with her as well.

  Jack saw it, reached and took her hand, and then mouthed, “Stubborn.”

  Jenn’s eyes began to glisten with tears and she choked out, “Bossy.”

  The door to the waiting room swung open with a thud and Jack turned quickly, still on alert with his hand on his gun. Two men in black suits walked in flashing badges at him, their eyes trained on his itchy trigger finger rather than his face. He relaxed a fraction, then raised his finger indicating he needed a minute. They both nodded then backed carefully out of the room.

  Leaning down, Jack placed his hand on Jenn’s face and ran his thumb across her cheek, “I gotta handle the shit storm that’s gonna come from Heller’s death. Do you promise not to leave this room?”

  Her expression softened further and she hiccupped, “I promise I won’t move from this spot until we know Maxine is okay and you take me home.”

  Jack’s face grew intense as he leaned down and kissed her hard, mumbling, “Thank Christ you’re okay,” against her mouth.

  I curled into Shane and closed my eyes, unable to watch any more. The raw emotions passing between them were private and meant only for them.

  The whole night ran quickly through my mind and my shoulders began to shake, so Shane pulled me into his lap. I was on overload. Too much had happened in a short span of time. Emma Jane, Heller’s stalking, which had me wired for months, fighting for Shane, almost drowning, and now today’s events.

  “I got you,” Shane whispered, pulling me in tighter.

  “I know.”

  “I’m not lettin’ you go. You’re my reason to live. My reason to get up each day and take a breath. My reason to kill if need be, just like Max said. You saved me, Sage. Saved me from myself. You’ve been doin’ it since you cornered me in the parking lot and my heart started beatin’ again. Heller’s gone, we can look forward now instead of being stuck in the past,�
�� Shane whispered in my ear. “Breathe, baby, it’s over.”

  “Maxine saw the attraction between us,” I sobbed. Apparently, the crash and burn wouldn’t wait until later. I was too worried about her. “That’s why she pushed you so hard . . . she’s going to be all right, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah,” he answered with certainty, tucking my head into his shoulder.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because it would take an act of God to stop that woman and He knows He’ll have less trouble with her on earth than in heaven messing in His affairs.”

  Max grunted in agreement beside Shane and I giggled, “You’re right.”

  “I know I am . . .”

  Arrogant Shane was back and it made me smile. It was exactly what I needed to feel safe at that moment.

  “Still arrogant, I see.”

  “Still right, too . . .”

  I nodded grudgingly.

  Mia leaned across Max and smiled softly at me, worry for Maxine etched clearly across her face. “It’s over now, thank God. How did it play out? Max won’t tell me what happened.”

  I looked at Max.

  Apparently, he didn’t want her to know he broke Heller’s neck.

  “He got what he deserved,” I answered.

  “Does Jack have him in custody?”

  “Umm . . .”

  “He’s dead,” Max answered. “That’s all you need to know right now.”

  Mia jerked and looked at Max.

  “It was you, wasn’t it?” she gasped.

  Max pulled her into his side and rested his chin on her head. “He shot Maxine and tried to kill you. What did you think I’d do when I left you here to go after him?”

  “Oh. My. God. Are you all right?”

  “I will be as soon as Mom’s out of surgery and I know she’s okay.”

  We had to wait a while to find out, but finally, in the wee hours of the night, the doctor came in and told us she would make a full recovery.

  Jack flashed his badge and they allowed all of us back to see her. When Max walked in ahead of us, he stopped in his tracks and I heard his breath stutter. Maxine was pale, with wires and tubes still attached from the surgery, and she looked frail for the first time since I’d met her.

  Mia placed her hand on his arm and he began to breathe again. As if she sensed his presence, Maxine opened her eyes and put out her hand. Before Max could reach for her, she garbled in a dry, shaky voice, “You owe me a grandchild. Get to work,” and then fell back to sleep.

  I expected Max to argue, but he picked up her hand, placed a kiss on her knuckles, and answered, “You got it.”

  His agreement made its way through her muddled brain and she stirred enough to reply back, “A girl. And name her after my grandfather.”

  Max grinned and looked at Mia.

  “I’m not naming a girl after a man,” she announced, crossing her arms.

  “You will this time. His name was Peyton G. Gunnison.”

  “Peyton Hunter?” Mia whispered, pulling up a chair on the other side of her bed. “I like that.”

  Shane took my hand and we backed out, leaving Mia and Max to stand guard over Maxine. Jack and Jenn followed and we all took a collective breath.

  I curled into Shane’s side as we headed to the elevators and down to the parking lot. My nerves were still wired for some reason, so I needed the contact until I could settle.

  “Let’s get you ladies home,” Jack mumbled. “Shane and I have an early morning at the station. We gotta meet with Parker.”

  “He’s back from Alaska?”

  “Yeah, he just arrived. Says he knows how Heller found us.”

  I’d wondered the same thing. All the precautions the authorities had taken along with the FBI, and he still managed to get out unnoticed.

  “He give you a heads up?” Shane asked as we climbed into Jack’s SUV.

  Jack turned to look at me, studying me for a moment, then said, “He assumed the identity of Sage’s father and changed his appearance with facial hair.”

  “What?” I grabbed Shane’s hand and took a deep breath. I hated the idea that Heller had used my father.

  “How did he find us?” Shane asked, squeezing my hand tighter.

  Jack looked at me again and I prepared. My skin began to prickle and my heart picked up speed. The need to move became overwhelming.

  “Sage told him.”

  “What?” Shane hissed.

  I jerked my head back and shook my head. “I hadn't spoken to him in four years before tonight,” I cried out as adrenaline dumped and coursed through my body.

  “He cloned your mother’s phone. Every text message you thought you sent her you were sendin’ to him instead. He’s been trackin’ you with it since you left Fairbanks.”

  The shaking began again and I looked at Shane, then Jack and Jenn. I could have gotten them all killed.

  It was then I actually crashed and burned.

  My lungs seemed to constrict. Pulling air into them was like breathing through a straw. I wailed, “You could have been killed because of me,” as my skin crawled as if tiny ants marched over it, and my head grew dizzy. A loud ringing erupted in my ears blocking out their voices, and my heart raced faster, pounding out of control in my chest. Shane reached out to grab my face and said, “Sage?” but I pushed him away. The thought of being touched made it worse. My vision blurred and became spotty as I tried again to pull air into my lungs.

  “I can’t breathe,” I forced out. “What’s wrong with me?”

  Jack growled, “Fuck,” and started the engine.

  “No! I need to get out,” I shouted in panic, reaching for the door handle before he took off, but Shane hauled me back from the door and wrapped me in a tight hold, crooning, “Breathe, baby. In and out. Just breathe.”

  ***

  Shane kept hold of Sage as Jack maneuvered swiftly through Gunnison. She was having a panic attack and he needed to get her alone so he could talk her down.

  Sage had held up for twenty-nine years under the crushing force of her past abuse. Had become a strong woman in the face of it. But the past year had finally taken its toll. She kept repeating, “You could have died because of me,” while trying to break free from him.

  When Jack pulled into the drive, Shane ripped open the door and pulled Sage out, carrying her into the house and down the hall to their bedroom. Once inside, he lowered her to her feet and ripped off his shirt.

  “Touch me,” he ordered.

  She didn’t listen. She was distracted. Her hands were shaking; her eyes were wide with panic like a cat ready to bolt, so he grabbed her hand and slapped it on his chest, holding it there with his hand.

  “I’m here. I’m alive. Touch me.”

  Sage closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Her shaking subsided a fraction, then she stared blankly at his hand, lost in some fucked-up sense of responsibility to everyone around her. When her eyes dropped to the bruise on his chest where Heller’s bullet had landed on his vest, she began to tremble again.

  He barked out, “Sage!” and her eyes popped to his. “I’m not going anywhere. This wasn’t your fault, baby. He would have found a way to get to you, so stop blaming yourself.”

  “You could have been killed,” she whispered, “and it would have been my fault.”

  “Did you force him to act like a madman?”

  She rolled her lip between her teeth and shook her head no.

  “Did you deserve anything that man put you and your family through growing up?”

  Her eyes swept down in thought, a crease pulling across her freckled brow, then she looked back up at him and answered, “No.”

  “Then don’t give him another second of your life. Touch me.”

  She held his gaze, searching for some unknown answer until her wired eyes relaxed a fraction and she raised her free hand to touch his arm. He held still even though he wanted to throw her on the bed and bury himself inside her. To pound her body with his until the p
anic she was fighting disappeared.

  With shaking hands, she moved closer and rested her forehead on his chest. She took a shuddering breath, the warm air bouncing off his chest in a puff, then he felt her lips on his skin. It burned a trail straight to his cock, but he held still. She traced kisses across his chest until she reached his nipple. Then she flicked her tongue against it and his breath hitched.

  Sage pulled back at his reaction, and he watched a single tear run down her cheek. He resisted chasing it with his thumb. Instead, he stepped back and raised his arms wide in a gesture of submission, inviting her to take his control, to take his strength, and whispered, “I’m here. I’m yours. Take what you need from me.”

  Time fractured as he waited. Almost immediately, her breathing increased as she studied him, then her expression cleared and hunger replaced the splintered soul he’d seen moments before.

  “That’s my girl,” he whispered when she took her first step in his direction. “Take what you need from me.”

  With deliberate slowness, Sage moved to his right and then began a slow circle around his body while he stood stock-still. She paused at his back, placing a warm, slender hand in its center, then ran it up through his hair and tugged his head back. Shane closed his eyes when her mouth found his neck, her tongue dancing on the tendon. Sucking in a deep breath to keep from grabbing hold of her, he grunted when her teeth grazed his neck.

  “You’re mine,” she whispered, her warm breath heating his blood further. “No one is taking you from me.” Hearing the possessiveness in her voice caused his cock to ache. Giving up his control so she could have some for the first time in her life was killing him. But he’d do it again for her, his saving grace. So he held still as she kissed her way to his other ear, yanking his head again so she had more access, then groaned deep in his lungs when she said, “No one is taking you from me, not even you. I don’t want control, I only want you.”

  One second she was behind him, the next she was on her back, her clothes gone because he’d ripped them from her body. He grabbed her hair, pulling her head to the side, and then sunk into her heat in a single thrust while burying his head in her neck.

  Time suspended around them as he claimed her body, tasted the sweet recesses of her curves and memorized her inside and out. With a final thrust, he sent them both over the edge, plunging them into the abyss with no hope of surfacing; two souls that had been separated by fate, broken by life, finally became one.