by Laura Taylor
"Gossip."
"That, too," he conceded.
"I don’t indulge in either." The emphatic movement of her graceful hands reinforced her point.
"It is alleged that he was a mercenary before he took up residence in Cedar Grove," Thomas persisted.
"It is alleged that there are little creatures from other planets who visit Earth on a nightly basis."
He ignored her sarcasm. "The rumor mill indicates that many of the residents of his property are ex–mercenaries, too."
"Rumors are, by their very definition, unsubstantiated speculation. Nothing more."
"Why be so evasive?"
"I’m not being evasive. I just don’t have anything more to say."
"I suspect that there are a thousand and one things that you’d like to say, because the burden you’re carrying is getting very heavy. Isn’t it?"
Startled by his insight, she stared at him.
"Were you and Benteen lovers? Did he hurt you when he married another woman?"
Unprepared for his questions, Geneva stepped backwards.
"Did he?"
"Of course not!"
"Were you lovers?"
"No!"
"Then what are you to each other?"
"I told you before. We’re friends."
"What about allies? Comrades–in–arms?"
Geneva glared at him.
"Talk to me," he pressed, his signing sharp, commanding.
"Don’t order me around."
"You and Benteen are just friends, and that’s all you’ve ever been?"
"We’ve already covered this topic," she reminded him. "My personal relationships don’t concern you."
"Damn it, of course, they do."
Confused, she demanded, "Why? We hardly even know each other."
"We’ll know each other extremely well before too much more time passes, Geneva."
"You really are presumptuous, aren’t you?"
He shook his head. "No, I’m a realist, just like you, but don’t listen to me, listen to your instincts. What do they tell you?"
"That you’re a relentless, single–minded, self–absorbed, son of a bitch who doesn’t… " Geneva stopped, furious with him for provoking her.
Thomas smiled, seemingly unaffected by what she’d said.
"You’re insane!"
"No, I’m just asking you to trust me."
"I do," she signed with some force.
"It’s about damn time." Thomas moved toward her in long, space–eating strides.
"You’re rushing me."
He stopped. "I really am a son of a bitch when I want something… or someone, so consider yourself warned."
"Do you want a tour of this place or not?" she asked less than graciously.
"Lead the way," he signed in response.
She didn’t move. "I don’t know what to do about you."
He studied her for several silent moments. She shifted uneasily under the force of his penetrating inspection.
Thomas stepped closer, lifted his hand, and briefly stroked her cheek with his fingertips. "Don’t shut me out. You’ve been through too much, and the world is tough to face without a partner. Friends and allies can’t fulfill all your needs. I found that out the hard way, and I suspect you have, as well."
"What do you want from me?" she whispered, suddenly terrified that he understood not just the true extent of her reckless hunger for him, but also the depth of her loneliness in recent years.
"What do you want from me?" he countered.
Everything, she realized. Everything, and then some. My God, I must be the insane one.
His gaze narrowed, as if he’d heard her thoughts.
"Please don’t do this to me," she said.
"Don’t care about you? Don’t want you? Don’t make it clear that there’s a fire inside me because of you? Don’t do what, Geneva?"
"Don’t invade my life and turn it upside down on some kind of a lark. I wouldn’t survive it if you did that to me. I’m not like the women you’ve known."
"Thank God for small favors," he muttered.
"What?" she asked, because he hadn’t signed as he’d spoken.
"I’m relieved you’re different."
She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I will not be used."
"You already know that’s not my intention."
She felt herself weakening, felt herself giving in, wanting to trust him, praying he spoke the truth. But much more than her heart was at stake. Lives could be jeopardized if she misstepped.
"What are you thinking right now?" he asked.
"That I want to believe you." As she stood there, Geneva cursed Fate for the secrets she felt compelled to keep out of love, loyalty, and self–preservation.
"You can, but I guess I’ll have to keep proving it to you until you believe me."
"That may not be possible."
"I’ll make it possible," he vowed.
Geneva didn’t say anything more. What could she say? Turning away, she walked the length of the foyer and entered the living room. Thomas followed her.
Despite the fact that she wanted to flee, Geneva remained. She transformed herself into the ultimate real estate agent, describing in detail every aspect of the spacious dwelling as they made their way from room to room.
She treated Thomas like a stranger, simultaneously corralling her emotions. Although he clearly saw through her ploy, Geneva felt grateful that he stopped badgering her. She couldn’t help wondering how long this reprieve would last, and how much longer she could conceal the truth about her past.
5
Thomas refrained from questioning her any further. He wanted her too much now to risk alienating her. Until Geneva Talmadge, he’d never met a woman he couldn’t walk away from without a moment’s regret.
A part of him resented his response to her, while another part—more instinct than logic—assured him that he would never know any real happiness without her. Having reached the age of forty relatively unscathed by affairs of the heart, he knew in his gut that he’d finally met his match. And his destiny.
Thomas also sensed the futility of questioning her about her friends, that shadowy group of men and women who resided in relative anonymity on the extensive acreage controlled by Nicholas Benteen. Close–mouthed and stubborn enough to stand her ground, Geneva obviously trusted very few people. That reality—ever present—gnawed on his nerves and his pride, but he tried to keep his frustration under wraps.
It would be easy enough for him to use his own far–reaching professional resources to investigate her past. Although biding his time frustrated him, he wanted her to discover that she could confide in him without the risk of betrayal.
He didn’t intend to give up on Geneva. He couldn’t. He wanted this woman in his life, and he promised himself that he would do everything in his power to convince her that she wasn’t some casual conquest on which he’d set his sights.
Thomas respected her loyalty to Benteen and her other friends, even envied it, but whether or not she realized it, Geneva reinforced, rather than dispelled, the rumors he’d heard since returning to Cedar Grove with her wary behavior and secretive attitude. His own past assured him that strife, crisis, and tragedy forged bonds of intense loyalty, not the mundane events of everyday life.
He had a tough time imagining this unique woman in the role of a former mercenary, despite her obvious abilities in the martial arts. And he seriously doubted that she’d ever been a player in that particular world. No. What he suspected was that she’d lived on its fringes, perhaps as some man’s lover or as the daughter of someone once closely associated with Benteen and his people.
"Thomas?"
He glanced at her, the sound of her low voice finally penetrating his thoughts. "Yes?"
"You’re a million miles away."
He shrugged, summoning a smile as he met her curious gaze. "I haven’t missed the high points."
"I hope not. Why don’t we go back down to th
e kitchen? There’s a survey map in the pantry that shows the boundary lines of the acreage that’s also for sale. Shall we look at it?" she signed.
He nodded. "Good idea."
He followed Geneva as she led the way down the rear staircase, across the hallway, and into the spacious kitchen at the rear of the house.
She pulled open the double doors to the pantry. Once she found the map, she spread it across the kitchen counter for his inspection.
Thomas stood beside her, the subtle fragrance she wore teasing his senses.
She faced him. "As you can see, the property encompasses areas that have been designated as wildlife refuges. Nicholas will probably include a clause in any sales contract, which guarantees that those areas will remain undeveloped. The state of Nevada is also very protective of the refuges, especially the eagle sanctuary, and they’ll expect ironclad guarantees from you before they’ll sign off on the sale."
"Nick briefed me on the situation." Thomas stepped back after inspecting the property lines on the map. "I’m prepared to make an offer on the lodge and the acreage today." He named a dollar figure.
Her surprise at the amount showed in her startled expression. "I’ll convey your offer to Nicholas as soon as possible."
Thomas ignored her attempt to delay the process. "He led me to believe that you’re empowered to act on his behalf. Is my offer too low?"
"I am empowered, and I suspect you already know that your offer is quite appropriate, but the lodge is in a remote area. Being so isolated might not appeal to you after a few months. A trial run makes more sense, especially since you’ve spent the last several years of your life in the city. I think Nicholas would suggest a lease, with the option to purchase the property at the end of either six or twelve months. That way, you’ll have a chance to experience the winter months before you make a permanent commitment."
"It’s November," he pointed out. "And I haven’t forgotten what it means to be snowed in."
Geneva persisted. "I believe it would be best if we try a lease with an option to buy."
Although frustrated with her delaying tactics, he managed not to lose his temper. He also decided not to dance around the real issue at hand. "You don’t want me as your nearest neighbor, do you?"
"It isn’t that, it’s just that I…"
He reached out and touched her cheek as she spoke.
Geneva fell silent, her eyes locked on his face.
Thomas felt the stillness that settled over her, felt even more acutely the arousal that steamed through his own veins. "You’re holding your breath. Why?"
Geneva inhaled sharply, then took a step away.
He moved closer, turning her so that she could see his face. "I want you, but I’d never force you. Not under any circumstances."
She stiffened and stared at him.
"You don’t have to be afraid of me, Geneva. I’m not a threat, nor am I a fool. I realize you have some genuine concerns about my motives."
"Not afraid," she said, and she wasn’t. Not of him. She feared herself and her hunger for him.
"Then you doubt my motives?"
"I do not," she insisted.
He carefully weighed his next comment. "If you know yourself, then you know some very important facts about me."
She frowned. "I don’t understand what you mean."
"You will in time. Look, you know I want you. You knew that the first time we talked."
"You’re talking about sex. I’m not so irresponsible that I’ll sleep with a man just because he wants me."
He didn’t react to her flaring temper. "Making love is part of the equation, but it’s just part. I’m not asking you to be irresponsible, but I think you want me just as much as I want you, so why deny it?"
Spots of color flagged her cheeks. "Life isn’t that simple. Not my life, anyway."
"You’re right. Real life’s like a minefield most of the time."
"This conversation is pointless."
"I don’t agree," he said.
"Thomas, you don’t understand."
"Then help me to understand."
She gathered herself then, an implacable expression filling her face. "We’re here to discuss the lodge, nothing else."
Thomas ignored her comment. "What do your instincts tell you about me, Geneva?"
She hesitated, studying him so intently that he wondered if she’d bother to answer him. When she did respond, she surprised him.
"My instincts tell me that you’re the first man I’ve ever met who makes me want to abandon my common sense. My instincts keep urging me to go with the moment every time you get near me or if you touch me. But other instincts, the ones that have kept me sane and safe for several years now, tell me to watch my step with you."
"That’s honest," he said.
"I’m always honest, especially with myself and with those people who are a part of my life."
"Does the latter category include me?"
She hesitated, then nodded with obvious reluctance. "It does now, even though I doubt the wisdom of it."
"I meant it before when I said I wouldn’t rush you or use you. I care about you."
"I care about you, too. And because I care, I’m asking you to accept the lease–option–to–buy plan I’m proposing. It’s the logical thing to do."
He grudgingly smiled. "You drive a hard bargain."
"Not really. I’m just trying to be practical. Spending close to three million dollars on a home and property is a major step. I don’t want you to regret it, especially since I’m not included in the transaction. Whatever happens, or doesn’t happen, between us is a separate issue."
His smile broadened. He liked her bluntness, even found it refreshing and in sharp contrast to the innuendo that most people indulged in. He especially appreciated her ability to hold her own with him.
"Regret won’t ever be an issue for me, Geneva. I’m here to stay."
"If your law practice isn’t a success, you might not want to remain in Cedar Grove."
"I’m not leaving, Geneva," he said, his voice as hard and sharp as a wedge of stone.
She nodded but only after searching his face, clearly taking the time to judge for herself the truth of his words. Turning to the map still spread out on the countertop, she rolled it into a snug cylinder.
Thomas placed a hand on her shoulder.
Geneva glanced up at him, her expression neutral.
"Cedar Grove is my home now. I’m not going back to life in the fast lane. I’ve had enough of it and the people who populate it." He hesitated. "I can’t do it anymore."
She frowned. "You have regrets about your past, don’t you?"
A muscle ticked in his jaw, but he answered her. "I have a lot of regrets, but I don’t plan on having any more."
As they studied each other, he recalled the last case he’d orchestrated on behalf of a well–known car manufacturer. He’d successfully thwarted a potentially crippling lawsuit against the company following a series of auto–related deaths.
The faces of the victims’ families still haunted him. Their lives had been shattered by devastating loss. He’d compounded their anguish by making certain that they received no just compensation. He knew he would live with his regret over the outcome of that case for the rest of his life.
Geneva reached out to him. Her fingertips grazed the tops of his knuckles, startling him from his memories. He met her gaze and saw her concern.
"Are you alright?"
Unaware of the sadness etched into his hard–featured face, he jerked a nod in her direction. "Fine."
"I shouldn’t pry. I apologize."
"You’re not prying. Someday, I’ll tell you about it. I need a home first, and I need to feel rooted again. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt as though I belonged someplace."
Her expression softened, a sad smile gracing her lips. "I understand about belonging. Until I moved to Cedar Grove, I never felt as though I was a part of anything even vaguely normal."
&nbs
p; He chuckled, but the sound lacked real humor. "I think we have more in common than you realize."
"Perhaps we do." She studied him at length, a thoughtful expression on her face as the minutes ticked by.
He withstood her inspection, feeling for the first time in his life that he didn’t need to hide the emptiness he often felt. He already knew she understood isolation and loneliness, especially the kind that happens even when a person is surrounded by friends and colleagues. He needed her compassion, so visible in her expressive eyes. He needed her touch, not just because she aroused him on some intense, primitive level, but because there was a gentleness in her that spoke to his soul.
He needed.
So simple.
And yet, so complex.
He truly needed her.
Geneva managed a faint smile. "I think we should draw up the appropriate documents, don’t you?"
"If you’ll agree to a compromise."
"In what way?"
"A three month lease, with the understanding that my offer takes precedence over any others of equal or lesser value. The ceiling on the asking price will never exceed ten percent of my current offer. I also expect to be given thirty days at the end of the lease in which to execute or to withdraw from the purchase option."
"I believe Nicholas would accept your terms, although he might feel inclined to debate them simply because he enjoys the negotiation process. I personally don’t see any point in doing that, though."
Thomas relaxed. "Then let’s take care of the necessary paperwork."
Geneva nodded.
They walked to the front door of the lodge. Thomas sensed their relationship had shifted onto new ground. He also sensed that Geneva, who seemed subdued but less wary, felt the change between them.
She paused in the entryway.
Thomas asked, "Do you want to stop by your place before I drive you into town to pick up your Jeep?"
She nodded. "Please. I need to get my briefcase."
"We can take care of the lease agreement this afternoon."
"Sounds good, but I’ll need to confirm everything with Nicholas."
"I don’t have a problem with that."
She fell silent, briefly studying the planked floor of the lodge’s entry hall before lifting her face back into view. "I… I really don’t mind that we’ll be neighbors."