The Price of Penny

by T. C. Rybicki

  Snap out of it. Why was he still standing there too close with a yearning look on his face? No way was he getting a kiss. I hoped that wasn’t the reason for the pause.

  “Well, bye Chet.”

  “You sure about that?”

  I felt a tug and realized I was holding onto his forearm. Stupid. I let go quickly. Pepper barked behind me at the side door. Chet said he was rarely wrong, just as conceited as I predicted.

  “I guess that’s it. I thought for certain I could make you like me, Ms. Kopernik. Oh well, can’t win ’em all.”

  He turned and walked toward the street. Pepper continued to beg me to go indoors. I let her inside first. I locked up and switched the lights off as I walked to my room.

  “Bed, girl.” Pepper curled up on the orthopedic dog bed I spent a fortune on. She sometimes curled up at my feet midway through the night, but I didn’t mind so much, the foot of the bed was cold sleeping alone. I finished up in the bathroom and still hadn’t caught on, but the minute my head hit the pillow, I switched the lamp back on. “Hey, how’d he know my name was Kopernik?”

  I knocked at the door to Wayne’s converted garage room. He called it an apartment, so it didn’t seem weird he stilled lived with his mom. There wasn’t a bathroom or a kitchen. Newsflash, you still live at home. He’d been in the garage since he was a senior in high school. My friend opened up after a few long minutes. I figured he had to untangle himself from some role play game on the computer to answer. I held a bag with a super stuffed burrito between my fingers.

  “You brought sustenance, just when I needed it most.” Wayne’s mom closed the kitchen at ten and he got the munchies when he played games half the night. She got cranky about her sleep being interrupted since she was a nurse and was up before 5 AM most days. He grabbed the bag, pulled a juice from his mini fridge and asked if I wanted anything.

  “Naw, man. I’m good.”

  Wayne opened the bag and poured the contents out on his desk. “Just one?”

  “Yeah, I already ate dinner with Penny.”

  “Oh shit, you work so fast. I should’ve known. She didn’t play so hard to get this time, I guess.” He couldn’t be further from the truth.

  I told him how he was spot on that they would be at the bakery. I only planned on accidentally bumping into them, but the afternoon went way better when Maggie pulled me to the back for their cake tasting. Wayne liked details, so he kept asking what she said and how I responded and shit like that. I told him about the pink champagne cake incident.

  “That sounds hot.”

  It was.

  “So, I thought I’d rope her into grabbing a coffee and then carry her home, ask for a date, but I ended up at her place from the get-go.”

  “Oh my, Penny moves fast.”

  “No, Penny moves so slow, she sometimes appears to be going in reverse. One second she calls me names and the next she tells me about her Keurig, and then all of a sudden we were heading to her place.”

  He had a mischievous grin, “I have to know, what’d she call you?”

  “I think it was rude arsehole, with a heavy accent.”

  He clapped his hands together frantically. “I love her already. When can I meet her? That’s brilliant.”

  “Never.”

  “Always so stingy, remember your Legos?” I frowned. He knew my mom made me share my Legos, but he was careless and always lost pieces. “Awe, looky. Chet’s face is red. You’ve never been called that . . . ever. Have you?”

  “Man, shut up. She’s rude, not me.” He tried to stop teasing or he knew he wasn’t getting anymore details. In fact, there wasn’t much else to tell. “Well, you did what I asked, I bought the burrito as a thanks, and I will seriously look into asking Gage if he can figure out something with Ms. Somers.”

  “No shit, dude. You’d do that for me?”

  “Yeah, I’d do anything for you.”

  “So, I know you’re a gentleman and all, but you and this Penny girl must have really,” he cleared his throat “connected.” He knew I’d never made a real effort to facilitate his fantasy meeting with Suzanne. I told him once I’d be embarrassed to bring it up. The best promise I ever made was if I was somewhere she showed up, I’d take a picture or call him to see if he could haul ass to where I was.

  I knew he meant something entirely different with his choice word, ‘connected.’ She and I experienced a moment, but it was worlds away from a hook-up. I sat on his lumpy sofa while Wayne inhaled the burrito. The room was quiet except for chewing. I replayed the evening through my brain. Penny told me something so private, almost visceral. It completely caught me off guard. I couldn’t believe her experience nor that she’d shared it with me so candidly. I’d never felt so emotionally connected to a woman in all my life and she trusted me. Grant it, her trust was with great reluctance, but I could sense it. That’s why my decision had been made.

  “I just wanted to say thanks and all, but I should get going. It’s late.”

  “No, wait. What’s wrong? You don’t look like a guy that just got some action with the object of his affection. I’m sorry, I was thinking about the maybe about Suzanne and not you for a second.”

  “Wayne, seriously, Penny’s not like that. She wouldn’t sleep with a guy she just met, no matter who he is. I didn’t get more than a hug which she probably could’ve done without, but I wanted to feel her in my arms at least once.”

  I stood up, prepared to walk out the door. I almost felt like going to Mom’s since I’d driven this far out to see Wayne, but decided against it. I needed to be alone which was so damn rare. I was usually surrounded by friends and strangers. My buddies brought so many randoms around to show off or get lucky with, I seriously needed to set up some boundaries one day.

  “No, don’t leave, Chet. I’m confused. What’s with you? Penny is a dud, not as cute as you remembered or she actually does hate you?”

  “No, none of those things, you’re especially off on the not as cute part. God, man, she’s more beautiful than I even remembered and I’m pretty sure that hate thing isn’t the case. Look, I got to know her a little better and you’re right. I’d only hurt her and there’s absolutely no way Penny can take anymore hurt in her life. I’m dropping my strange fixation. It’s over.”

  “So you’re not going to see her again? You didn’t tell her how we . . . I mean about how you twisted my arm to research her?”

  “I planned to sugarcoat that, but it’s not worth it if I’m not seeing her again. Dude, you said her father was retired military. You didn’t tell me he was scary connected. He was in intelligence as she put it. Those guys can make people disappear.”

  Wayne said he didn’t know how important of a job he had. “Shit, maybe it’s good you didn’t tell her. I probably broke a few federal laws.”

  “Yeah, and I conspired with you, so we’d both be in trouble if she took my research the wrong way.”

  “You like her.”

  “Duh, what the hell did you think this was all about? I’ve been tinkering with insanity this whole week.”

  “I don’t know. I thought it was a challenge, a weird goal you had, screw a regular chick or woman with an accent. You never hinted you were ready to settle down.”

  I raised my voice. “I’m not! I mean, I wasn’t. I don’t know, actually. It doesn’t matter. I mean it; I’m never contacting her again.”

  Wayne blocked me from leaving, which was dumb. I was way stronger than him. “Move.”

  “No, I don’t think you should drive all the way to Santa Monica tonight. Stay. Let’s talk.”

  “Stay on your crappy couch when I have a ten thousand dollar mattress at my place waiting for me? You’re my best friend, but I don’t think so. This piece of furniture is diseased. If you didn’t have a sheet over it, I wouldn’t even sit on it with my jeans. It’s coated in fake cheese powder and God knows what else if you sit here watching Three’s Company reruns. Thanks, but no thanks.”

  “Jeez, you really can be a jer
k sometimes. My couch was never a problem when you were a lowly, television star. Now you need a bed that cost ten grand to rest your weary head. No wonder, this normal chick shot you down. You really are an arsehole as well as an asshole to boot. I was trying to be a friend.”

  I stopped and turned around. “Hey, you’re right. I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t want to act like a total pussy in front of you and this girl has me twisted in knots. To tell you the truth, I hate that fucking mattress at the condo. The saleslady only saw a celebrity when I walked in the store. I’ve hated it from the start. It’s like sleeping on a board. Half the time, I sleep on my sectional.”

  I kicked off my shoes and sat back down. Wayne even offered to sneak inside to grab fresh sheets and blankets. I was still a little leary about what might be on the everyday cover. He made up the couch. I checked out his game. We sat there for almost two hours while I tried to wrap my mind around the point of his whole role playing alter ego. Wasn’t real life good enough? Did one also need a virtual world too? We stopped talking about Penny, but eventually, I realized how exhausted I was. I hadn’t slept so great the night before.

  Wayne shutdown his computer and cut the lights. I remembered now, this couch wasn’t so bad. I had a few layers of fresh bedding over it too, so I should be safe. He joked from across the room. “You’re right about the couch. It’s a cesspool, my imagination is wildly dirty.”

  I picked up my shoe and tossed it toward him.

  “Ouch, that fucking hurt. I’m joking, bro.”

  “You better be, sicko.”

  “Or am I?”

  Second shoe went flying.

  “Fine, no more. I give up. I keep that area pure, I swear. I never know if I might entertain a lady friend.”

  “Have you?”

  “Nope, not yet, but I predict this is my year. I’m bringing home a nice girl to meet Mama.” Poor guy. I’d been firm about not setting him up with some ditso even though he’d begged plenty of times before. He even said he’d take the scraps, an ugly second step-cousin as long as she had all her parts in the right places. I had yet to figure what that meant and never wanted to. Wayne was one of the good ones and he deserved a woman that really loved him, quirks and all.

  We were finally quiet. I thought he might be dozing off. As tired as I was, it wasn’t happening so easy for me. I kept seeing Penny when I closed my eyes. She sure smelled nice, especially after that shower. That was quite the surprise when I came back with the food. I guess I misread all the signals since she rushed me out of there after dinner.

  “Chet, you still awake?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I was wrong and so are you.”

  “Huh?”

  “Call her, man. I misjudged you about this entire situation. I think she’s just what you need right now. Maybe you know more than I do about her fragile heart and all, but who’s to say you aren’t the glue that can piece that back together.”

  I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to attempt it and be wrong. My whole life, I’d been over-confident, but not this time, not about her. I needed to go back to the old way of life. That long shoot did something to me. I’d never been more homesick and I hadn’t lived at home in years. I spent lots of time off to myself, reading or thinking or staring into space. I wasn’t about to admit the last time I’d had sex, a slightly embarrassing dry spell that was mostly by choice. I should call someone, anyone the following day. It was time to get back to normal.

  I definitely thought Wayne drifted off until he said my name again. “Chet.”

  “What?” I said with annoyance. I didn’t want to talk about Penny again or I’d never fall asleep.

  “Did you take off all your clothes to go to sleep, because I have a confession. That couch isn’t really pure.”

  I reached around the floor for something else to throw, but grabbed something damp and squishy. I had no idea what it could be making me even more repulsed. I finally told him I had a wicked case of insomnia and I knew he went goofy right before he fell asleep, so I knew he was almost out. “If you don’t stop weirding me out, you will pay while you sleep. I promise.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “Try me.”

  “My mom would call the police, she’d hear me screaming.”

  “Not if I make sure that doesn’t happen.” I was totally bullshitting him now, because I’d never gag my best friend, but at least now I knew he was going to wonder about how far I’d go.

  “I’m going to sleep now, but you better stay away from me. That’s a very real phobia. It’s not a joke.” I knew his number one fear and didn’t have any qualms about using it against him.

  “Night, man. Absolutely, no more talking or tomorrow morning, I swear you’re waking up in the cemetery.”

  He didn’t answer me either, but I didn’t go to sleep so fast. I already had Penny’s number programmed in my phone. Wayne knew his shit. He obtained the cell numbers for both Penny and Maggie. I even looked at it under the blanket. I should hit delete contact, but I didn’t. It was no use. I closed my eyes and recounted all the numbers. I had it memorized already, just like every little detail I learned in one evening about Penny.

  “I can’t believe you’re bailing on me. Some maid of honor you are or sister, for that matter.”

  I pushed out of bed tangled in my comfy, but hideously ugly plaid Snuggie. Maggie had the Wonder Woman special version. Mum bought me the brown and red plaid one because she thought that suited me better. Figures. I canceled my two afternoon appointments. I went into the clinic for one evaluation and then came home sick. Technically, I wasn’t sick other than a miserable time of the month and some cramps. I had a few rough weeks and needed to catch up on rest, so I didn’t feel guilty for calling off.

  “Hold on a damn minute. I went to the first cake testing. You don’t need me again. It’s yours and Keats’s decision anyway or Mummy will probably make the final call, knowing her.” Dad and Mum were down all weekend and lucky for us they thought our place was way too small, so they always stayed at a local hotel.

  Maggie insisted I was obligated to be at her side for any and every wedding type appointment or shopping excursion. Someone needed to buy me a maid of honor guide because I thought she was full of shit. I absolutely didn’t want to go back into that bakery and stuff my face with cake again.

  “This is because of Chet, isn’t it?”

  “Where the hell did you get that idea from? No, of course not.”

  “Poppy, you are too damn stubborn for your own good. I know something went on here between the two of you.”

  I flapped my Snuggie arms at her wildly. I finally confessed after days of badgering that I cried in the kitchen in front of him about Jordan. She was stunned to say the least, but thought it meant more than it actually did.

  “I already told you. We talked a bit, drank a cup of coffee, ate Thai food.” I gave the leftovers to Keats the day after because the sight of them in my fridge did funny things to my stomach. I wanted all reminders gone as soon as possible.

  “I bet that sweet old woman knows how we can reach him. Why on earth did you let him out of here without his number?”

  I secretly wondered if he’d offer me his number or ask for mine. I would have given it to him if he asked, but he didn’t and that was a good thing. My sister needed to leave and get out of my face. She gave me a headache. I popped two Midol in the kitchen.

  “Hun, this is me. We share everything. You don’t have to pretend.” Huh, was she nuts? She might be an open book, but I was far from it. “I know you’ve been watching his movies.”

  “What? Why would you think that? I have not.” I lied so hard.

  “Netflix, babe. It tells all . . . recently watched.”

  I stammered over my excuses. “Um, no, that’s not it. I wasn’t. I browse and that pushy service makes suggestions for me. I didn’t. Hey, what’s with the invasion of privacy, anyway? Leave me alone.”

  Maggie pointed out we
shared the subscription so how could she be invading my privacy. I didn’t know what else to say since she caught me in a lie. I watched a few things, some more than once. It wasn’t a big deal. He bragged on himself. I never even saw that dumb series he’s a part of in all it’s entirety and it’s pop culture. I was just staying current.

  Of course, focusing on me was short-lived, she quickly reverted back to making the world about her, “So you’re really not going?”

  “No, I support whatever you choose.”

  “Mum’s going to be pissed.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. She asked what your problem was lately.”

  I didn’t have a problem, work was busy. They knew this, and the end of the school term was approaching. Parents often got anxious about what next year held for their struggling child.

  I let Pepper inside since she was barking at the neighbor’s cat that taunted her from the fence. “Stop teasing, Piaf. It’s annoying.” As soon as Pepper ran inside, Piaf jumped back into his yard. Stupid twit cat, I didn’t understand the point. Why did he always act like he wanted to come out and play with Pepper when he didn’t mean it? Some people played the same games. It kinda seemed like it to me. Glad I dealt with children more than adults.

  God, Mags was still complaining. I knew full well she was also on her period. We had the same cycle. Mine even shifted when hers changed after she started birth control. It was eerie. “I’ll go to whatever’s next on the agenda. I promise, just please, not the bakery.” I almost added the fitting next month, but she would’ve blown a fuse. I picked my battles one at a time.

  “Whatever’s next? Are you mad? We have the caterer appointment Monday evening. I thought you were keeping the schedule straight.”

  I snapped. “Dammit Maggie, people get married everyday. Quit acting like your wedding is superior to anything else. Take it down a notch. I do have the schedule, but I don’t obsess over it or read it everyday.”

  I saw how quickly my words affected her. Maggie had a special glint in her green eyes that I didn’t possess and it was almost like all the light drained out at once. I didn’t mean it. I was happy for her. I truly was. “I’m so sorry, babe. That was rude. Seriously, I’m out of sorts today. I think I’m going to draw a bath and veg with the hot pack.” I put my hands on her shoulder. I had to fix hurting her feelings. I couldn’t stand to see my little sister cry.