by Felice Arena
After every contestant was registered (it took well over an hour and a half), the contest organisers gave the instructions for the physical skills test.
‘Okay, okay, quiet please,’ ordered one of the coordinators, who had taken over the megaphone.
‘Since there are so many of you, we’re going to break you all up into blocks of twenty-five pairs. Each group will have only twenty minutes to run through the assigned skills tests prepared by our selectors. Those of you with numbers one through three hundred can take a seat and expect to be called up sometime this morning. The rest of you will be tested at one-thirty this afternoon. You can either wait or come back around one o’clock. In the meantime we suggest that all of you grab one of these Great Footy Contest programs outlining in detail what skills will be required. Again, good luck, and have fun!’
Everyone burst into a frenzied chatter, not exactly certain where to go or what to do next. Like a herd of cattle aimlessly following one another, the hundreds of contestants in the morning group shuffled back to the boundary line, grabbed a program from one of the many selectors and took a seat, wishing they didn’t have to wait.
‘We won’t be seen for another two hours,’ huffed Robbo, quickly doing a mental calculation based on their registration numbers.
‘Don’t worry. That works out better for us. We’ll be able to see how the others ahead of us do. Pick up some pointers and stuff,’ said Specky, happy to be patient.
‘Awhh cool. Look, what we have to do,’ blurted Danny, already skimming through the program.
Specky, Robbo and Johnny shifted their gaze downwards, and silently read the program word for word …
THE GREAT FOOTY CONTEST
PART ONE: Skills Testing
Venues: Victoria – M.C.G/Telstra Dome ∙ SA – Football Park ∙ WA – Subiaco Oval ∙ QLD – The Gabba ∙ Tasmania – York Park ∙ NSW – SCG ∙ NT – Marrara Stadium, Traeger Park
TEST 1. 100 Metre Bounce Relay
Object: Partner (a) sprints with the football down a 100 metre track marked on the football oval. Every 15 metres there is a square marked on the grass with white chalk. The football must be bounced, or touched on the ground, inside the square as the participant makes his or her way to the other end. There will be 6 boxes in total. Once the ball has been bounced in the last square, the participant races to the finish line, where their partner (b) will be waiting for them. A 5 metre handball is the signal for (b) to take the ball and race back to the other end, doing exactly the same thing – 6 bounces on the way back, in the squares. Once he or she has crossed the finish line, a total score for that event will be given.
‘Danny, this first test looks tough,’ said Robbo, knowing that bouncing the ball at top speed wasn’t his strongest skill.
‘You’ll be okay; you’re allowed to touch it on the ground,’ explained Danny, who was half way through reading the second skill test.
TEST 2. Master Goal-kicker
Object: To record the highest score from 10 shots at goal, taken from various angles and distances. Goals and points will both be recorded.
TEST 3. Super Boot
Object: To kick the ball further than anyone else. We will give you and your partner 5 chances each to try and get onto the longest kick you have ever done.
‘Hey Specky, man have you read the super boot part, yet?’ asked Johnny, sounding excited.
‘Yeah, I’m reading it now. Cool huh? I can’t wait to do the master goal-kicker test. This is gonna be so unreal.’
TEST 4. Handball King.
Object: This is a 2-part test. First of all we will test for ‘quick hands’. In 2 minutes, we want to see how many handballs you and your partner can complete, with your preferred hand. The distance apart will vary with the age of the participants. Only completed handballs will be counted. We then want to see how many completed handballs you and your partner can tally up, with your non-preferred hand.
Part 2 is an accuracy test, just like you see on ‘The Sunday Footy Show’. You will have 5 handballs with your right hand and 5 handballs with your left at the moving handball target to try and get the highest score possible.
TEST 5. Obstacle Course
Object: To see how quickly you and your partner can complete our unique obstacle course, which will test all of your footy skills, as well as your speed, agility and endurance.
There will be tackling bags, a high-marking ‘specky challenge’, a footy maze to work your way through, and it will finish with you kicking the ‘winning goal’.
After Specky and his friends had read the program several times over and discussed how they would tackle each individual skill, they spent the rest of the time watching other kids run through their paces. Finally, after almost three hours, Specky, Robbo, Danny and Johnny made it onto the ground. This was their moment to show what they were made of.
They barrelled through each test with a truck load of confidence and enthusiasm. Specky paused for a moment between the second and third test and was happy to see that his friends were doing well. He thought of Christina for a split second, wondering how she was coping with the same skills at Telstra Dome.
‘Okay, time’s up!’ shouted one of the selectors. He blew his whistle sharply and waved the boys over to join him.
Specky and Johnny had just finished the obstacle test. The boys acknowledged each other with a high-fives, pleased with their efforts.
‘Okay, well done,’ the selector said, looking down at his clipboard. ‘But what you’ve just completed is only the first half of the contest. You’ll need to do the second half on another day, in two weeks’ time.’
The selector handed out a sheet titled:
PART TWO: The Great Footy Quiz
The Great Footy Quiz is a multiple-choice football quiz of 100 questions, that will test your knowledge in the following 5 categories:
a) Brownlow Medal
b) Premierships
c) Past and Present AFL Champions
d) Footy Maths and Spelling
e) General Footy Knowledge
‘As you can see right on the bottom of the page,’ continued the selector, ‘on the fourteenth of this month you’ll need to visit one of the public libraries listed on the sheet. There you’ll take the Great Footy Quiz.’
There were a few groans from some of the kids, including Danny and Robbo.
‘Notice that there’s an example for each category. Use this as a guide for when you study. And yes, I do suggest you hit the books, read the newspapers, watch the games and so on. Just like today, you’ll be marked out of a possible hundred points. The score you get for your quiz will be added to today’s score. All we ask is that you don’t lose your ID cards. This is important because you’ll need to show them, and your name and your number will need to be jotted down on the quiz paper.’
A boy directly behind Specky shot up his hand to ask a question.
‘Yes?’
‘Will our exam scores be added up with our partner’s score?’
‘Yes. You’re in this as a pair, all the way. All your scores will be tallied together. The highest score that any pair can get for the entire contest is four hundred points – one hundred each for the skills test you did today and one hundred each for the quiz. Any final questions before I let you go?’
Johnny put up his hand. The selector nodded at him.
‘I live up north, near Katherine. Will I be able to take my test up there? Does it matter that my partner is from Melbourne?’
‘No. It shouldn’t make any difference. Here …’ The selector handed another sheet to Johnny with a list of venues in the Northern Territory. Johnny skimmed over the page and was happy to see that the Katherine library was listed.
‘Again, make sure you remember to write your registration number on your quiz paper. Okay, you can all go now. Good luck, and we’ll see you in a couple of weeks’ time.’
Specky, Johnny, Danny, and Robbo left the MCG, bursting with energy. They chatted about everything they had ju
st experienced, speculating about what marks they might have scored and what sort of questions could be included in the quiz. Eventually, the boys parted company and headed home. Specky decided to walk Johnny back to his hotel in the city, where they farewelled each other.
‘I’ll see you in a few weeks,’ said Johnny, ‘I’ll be coming down for the exhibition. By the way, where’s the carved footy my old man gave you? You’re not wearing it?’
‘No. I didn’t want to wreck it while playing. I’ll put it on once I get home,’ said Specky, feeling bad for not wearing it. In fact, he had only worn the special carving once, on the flight back down from the Northern Territory. With all the drama that had been going on recently, he had totally forgotten about it; it was tucked away safely in his bedside drawer. Specky made a mental note to wear it from now on.
‘See ya, Specky, man. You better get studying,’ said Johnny, waving goodbye.
‘You too,’ grinned Specky, as he continued on to the train station.
When Specky got back home he was busting to tell his parents about his eventful day.
‘Mum! Dad!’ he shouted, barging through the front door.
But suddenly Alice came bouncing down the stairs, screaming with excitement.
‘You’re never going to believe it. Guess who I met today!’ she squealed, rushing up to Specky.
Specky took a step back and noticed that his older sister was dressed from head to toe in Hawthorn gear.
‘What are you doing? You hate footy,’ choked Specky, not believing his eyes.
‘Yeah, I know I do,’ said Alice, agreeing.
‘So? Then why do you look like the Hawks mascot has thrown up on you?’
Alice was shuffling on the spot as if she had ants in her pants.
‘Guess who I met today,’ she said, again, poking Specky in the chest.
‘I don’t know. Who?’
‘Come on, guess!’
Becoming increasingly annoyed with his sister for acting all giddy and girly, Specky just shrugged.
‘Shane Crawford!’ Alice screamed, at a pitch that could shatter glass. ‘I met Shane Crawford – and I’m in love.’
11. dreamtime specky
So for the next few minutes, Specky was forced to listen to how his suddenly love-struck sister had come to meet a Brownlow Medal champion and one of the AFL’s most popular pin-up boys. She had been dragged along to a Hawthorn Members’ Family Day by her friend Rachel, a diehard Hawks supporter. It was Rachel’s way of celebrating her birthday with her friends.
‘Let me tell you,’ said Alice, as she related the story to Specky. ‘If I could have blinked myself out of there, I would have. Hanging out with a footy crowd is not my idea of a good time. If that were the case, I would have stayed with you instead. Torture!’
Specky pulled a face at his sister’s snide dig. She ignored him and went on to say that some of the Hawthorn footballers had ventured out to greet the fans, in person.
‘I didn’t have a clue who any of them were, but Rachel was almost jumping out of her skin, especially when she saw Shane Crawford. She ran to him to say hello and we all followed. Then Jenny said to Shane, “It’s her birthday. Why don’t you give her a kiss?” So all of a sudden he leans over and kisses me on the cheek! Jenny had been pointing at Rachel but Shane thought she’d been pointing at me. He asked me what my name was and said it was beautiful, that it was one of his favourites.’
Specky rolled his eyes as his sister replayed the incident in her mind.
‘What about Rachel?’ Specky asked. He wasn’t really interested; he just wanted Alice to hurry up and finish the story.
‘Oh, she’s really dirty with me, now. Shane didn’t even notice her. He had to leave and sign autographs.’
‘So, you’re a Hawks supporter all of a sudden, because of some stupid little kiss?’
‘It was more than a kiss. And I bet it was for Shane, too. I have to see him again. He’s gorgeous! Can we go and see him in a game? When does he play next?’
‘You’re nuts,’ replied Specky, shaking his head.
There was only so much lovey-dovey talk from his sister he could take. And now, after all these years of hating football, she was converted because of some silly crush.
He walked into the kitchen to get himself a drink. His mum was just taking a banana cake out of the oven, and Specky couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into it.
‘Can you believe Alice, Mum? he said, as he grabbed a knife from the drawer, reaching to slice a large chunk from the cake.
Specky’s mum gave him a knowing smile. ‘One day, you’ll find there’s more to life than football, Simon, and some young lady might begin to grab your attention.’
‘Mum!’ Specky felt himself blushing, wondering if his mum was referring to Christina. He hurried from the kitchen, banana cake in both hands.
After telling his parents about his day at the MCG, Specky spent the rest of the night in his bedroom studying for the Great Footy Quiz. He pulled out several books about footy from the small bookcase in the corner of the room. Some of the books had been given to him as birthday or Christmas gifts, others he had bought with his own pocket money.
Not sure where to begin, Specky began skimming through a number of chapters at random – moving back and forth from one book to another, and reading snippets here and there. Some of the books featured stories about the history of the game, including the best games of the century and mini-biographies of former champions. Specky never got bored or tired of reading these stories.
While flipping through the pages, he came across a chapter dedicated to Aboriginal champions. Specky was reminded of Johnny and his dad and the carved footy they had given him. He opened up the top drawer of his bedside table, grabbed it and proudly placed around his neck.
He continued reading way into the night and found himself immersed in a book called Footy through the Ages. It not only taught him about footy, but also gave him an understanding of how people lived in the 60s, 70s and 80s – what they liked to wear, the cars they drove, the food they ate, all those everyday things. He loved looking at all the old-fashioned photographs that illustrated the stories about footy stars of the past. He couldn’t believe how different they looked from him and his friends and today’s footy champs.
Eventually, Specky’s eyelids began to droop, his head sank back into his pillow, and the book dropped out of his fingers and hit the floor.
‘Come on! Kick it!’
Specky looked down at the football in his hands. He glanced up and noticed a boy standing about twenty metres away, shouting, ‘Come on, hurry up, and kick it!’
This is so weird, thought Specky.
Next thing he knew, the boy was running over. Specky was amazed by how much this kid looked like him; it was like looking in a mirror, except that the boy wore brown corduroy jeans that flared out at the bottom and a tight yellow T-shirt with a transfer image of some guys called ‘Starsky and Hutch’ stuck on it. On his feet he sported a pair of white beachcomer sneakers, and his hair was shaggy and long.
‘Why aren’t you kicking it?’ the boy asked, now standing very close to Specky.
‘Um, who are you?’ replied Specky.
‘I’m you – I’m Simon,’ said the boy. ‘Now, hurry up. Kick the ball. It’s Grand Final day!’
‘Grand Final day? Who’s playing?’
The boy smiled.
‘North Melbourne and Collingwood,’ he said, excitedly.
‘North Melbourne?’
Specky knew that the Kangaroos used to be known as North Melbourne, but that had been a long time ago.
‘What date is it today?’ he asked.
‘September twenty-fourth, nineteen seventy-seven,’ replied the boy.
‘Nineteen seventy-seven!’ gasped Specky, not sure what to say or do next.
Simon told Specky to follow him to the front of the house, where he picked up a bike that was lying on the lawn. He gestured to Specky to get on.
‘Hop on the ba
ck and I’ll dink ya,’ he said.
Specky stopped himself from laughing out loud at the sight of the funny, primitive-looking bicycle. Unlike the carbon-fibre, thirty-three-speed mountain bike he owned, Simon’s two-wheel machine had high-rise handlebars, a lime green banana seat, and a chrome gearstick with only three gears. It also had cardboard flaps pegged on the spokes to make a ‘motor’ sound when the wheels turned – Simon thought this was the coolest.
Specky hopped on and both boys rolled off, wobbling from side to side through the back streets of Camberwell.
Specky didn’t ask where they were going, he was distracted by the sight of so many old cars – mainly Holdens and Datsuns – parked along the street.
‘That’s the Sullivans’ house,’ said Simon as he rode past a single-fronted cottage.
‘Who?’ asked Specky.
‘As in “The Sullivans”, the TV show,’ explained Simon, as if Specky should have known. ‘It was a really good episode last night. Tom came back from the war and surprised Grace and Dave. And Kitty cried buckets.’
Specky nodded politely, not understanding a single thing Simon was talking about. Eventually, the two boys pulled up at a corner Milk Bar. Once inside, Simon happily stocked up with a bag of lollies and assorted sweets he was planning to have later while watching the Grand Final on TV. He offered some to Specky.
‘These are my favourites,’ he said, while picking them out individually. ‘Whiz Fizz, Musk Sticks, Sherbet Bombs, Chocolate Freckles … I can get you a Barney Banana or a Sunny Boy, if you like?’
Specky declined, looking on, bewildered. He felt as if he was in a foreign country trying his best to understand some new and exotic culture. It was all very bizarre. Simon pulled out a stick of gum and a football card packet.
‘I wonder if I’ve got this card?’ he mumbled to himself as he ripped it apart.
‘Yeah, I have,’ he added, looking disappointed. He handed the football card over to Specky. It was a photograph of a young Leigh Matthews in a Hawthorn jumper.