His lips moved against her then, knowing her now. His hand fell away to taste the misting heat of her and had him wondering why the thin denim separating his mouth from the hidden softness of her had not simply dissolved. “Jen,” he murmured, “sweet, sweet Jen…” His lips brushed back and forth, not exerting a bit of demanding pressure, inhaling the flush of musky warmth that told him more of her need and wanting than words ever could.
“I’m not strong either. Say you don’t want me, Jen.”
“I can’t … I can’t think. You know that—”
Cupping her to him until he had her straining against his mouth, he smiled hearing the surprised cry from her throat. He could feel her every tensing muscle as hunger sunk its sweet claws deep. Deliberately then, he used his breaths to tease the slow-building fire holding itself away from him.
“Don’t you know I want to taste you? All of you, Jenny. Warm and sweet and open for me. Don’t say no … don’t…”
Her fingers clutched his head, shocked at what he wanted, yet her body moved with the need she would not, could not voice.
“Let me hear the wanting, Jen,” he coaxed again.
Didn’t he hear it? She did. She heard it singing in her body as it was rocked against his mouth. Her legs were shaking, the muscles weakening until she couldn’t stand and he slid down to the floor and brought her to lie full-length on him. Locking his long legs over her own, his lips took satisfying possession of her bewildered cry.
Softly, knowingly, he laughed. “Oh, Jen,” he whispered against her mouth, using his teeth to hold her lower lip immobile for a moment before he released it. “I don’t ever want to let you go. I … oh, hell, Jen, words aren’t very good now. I’ll show you,” he promised, molding her body to fit his own. Pleasure swept over her, until she felt herself swell with blood pounding out a cry of how right this was, how she needed him and only him.
And his husky voice caressed her between ever-deepening kisses, asking for her to show him how much she wanted him, too.
Her shirt slid open, the material brushed away with his lips tasting the desire-misted skin with tiny kisses and love bites that fed him.
He lifted her from the waist, bringing his mouth to the soft undercurve of her breast. She gripped his arms.
“Sam … do you know what you’re doing to me?” she asked in a voice thick with awakening passion.
He smiled warmly against her bared skin. “I know. I know what I’m doing now and what I’m going to do later. All that I dreamed of, all that you want. All that I want,” he promised. She was so soft, so damn soft, and as his control slipped he warned himself not to hurt her. But he had hungered too long and couldn’t taste enough of her, using butterfly kisses to mark a trail to the waistband of her pants. With the edge of his teeth he nibbled her skin before beginning a slow ascension that had her heart thudding. He had pushed her beyond thought, his pleasure becoming her own.
And then, with a swift hot surge low down inside her, there was only feeling. Him. His mouth. Delicate kisses savored her breasts until he caught her erect nipple between his lips, tugging gently as he drew her deeper into his mouth. Restrained by his hold which left her helpless, Jenny pressed her hips tight against him until he groaned and shook against her.
“Easy, Jen. I am going to make love to you.” His hands slid to her hips, raising her slightly. “I’m going to love you like you should always be loved. Like your body is crying out to be loved right now,” he whispered before he took possession of the dusky rose peak begging for attention.
There was both pleasure and pain for Jenny. His teeth grazed her sensitive skin with hot, leashed restraint, his tongue curled tight, worshiping and caressing her. Arching her back in offering, her hips settling deeper into his, Jenny felt the tremors ripping through him with the strain of holding her above him. Lowering her head, her hair fell over her shoulders to curtain his head while Sam indulged his need to taste her.
The craving inside stunned her. And it went beyond any Jenny had known. Their bodies moved with slow stroking caresses to the full explosive passion that had shimmered between them.
Then Robby’s sleep-laden voice called out. Sam froze. He lifted his head, the tip of Jenny’s breast still glistening from his passionate caress, quivering with her sharply inhaled breath. He felt the complete withdrawal she made. Robby called out again. Sam couldn’t look at Jenny as he helped her to stand. His fingers trailed down the length of her thigh, feeling every one of the tremors shaking her body. His thoughts wouldn’t come to order. And for a moment she didn’t move. He wanted to say something, his throat closed, denying him. Perhaps it was wiser. All that would come now were words of raging need and desire. He felt that desire reach out to encompass him as never before with his rigid flesh demanding release.
“Jen, I … please…?”
“No. Robby needs me.”
Burying his face in his hands, he fought to draw steady breaths. He listened to each hesitant footstep that took her to her son. Her voice was still husky with passion as she soothed Robby, who was worried about Kitten. She found the tiny cat quickly, urging her son back to sleep, but still Sam didn’t hear what he wanted most right now. He didn’t hear Jenny coming back to his side. He waited, not daring to turn around and look at her, not quite sure he could cope with the desire he was still fighting to tamp down. After a few more minutes of silence, he roused himself.
Sam made it as far as the porch before she came rushing out after him. She didn’t say anything at first, merely watched his trembling fingers roll a cigarette.
Jenny didn’t want to think of those hands and how they felt moving over her body. She didn’t want to think of what almost happened between them. She simply didn’t want to think at all, but she did. Her eyes flew to his face the moment he lit the match. In the brief flare, she knew he was thinking, too.
The smoke curled lazily around his head before he brought one hand up to run roughly over his hair. “Jen…”
“It’s better you go.” Her whispered voice was harshly condemning. Deliberately so. He couldn’t know the gamut of emotions tearing at her. No, he couldn’t know and she wouldn’t tell him.
Dragging deeply on his cigarette, he held the smoke for a moment, needing time to quell the fire that had burned and kept the cold from seeping into him. But the cold came back anyway. Releasing the smoke, he turned toward her. It wasn’t any good. He just couldn’t walk away without saying something.
“You really want me to leave, Jen?” his passion-thick voice implored. Her lips thinned and she turned away from him. He jammed his hand into his pocket. “Jen, we could—”
“No,” she denied, “we can’t. We can only say good-bye. Now. We need to say that now. Or maybe,” she intoned, hating the pain of loss tearing at her, “we don’t need to say anything.”
“You expect me to walk away from what happened tonight?” He tried to clamp down the harsh rage that was reflected in his voice. He found he didn’t have that much control.
She flinched as if he had hit her. “There’s no sense in talking or thinking about what almost happened. It won’t happen again.”
This time he backed away. “You’re going to make sure of that, aren’t you?” he demanded with leashed violence riding his voice hard.
“I’ll damn well try. You won’t be around and that’ll make it easier.”
“Go inside, Jenny. Get the hell inside and bolt your cabin door. I’m thinking what I have no right thinking about you now. And wanting what isn’t mine to take.” He drew a deep, shuddering breath, fighting not to touch her. “You’re right, Jen. It’s too soon. It’s been too soon from the first time I kissed you. You’re still another man’s woman. And maybe,” he warned in a chilling deadened tone, “you always will be.”
You’re wrong! she wanted to scream at him when he spun on his heel and left her. I was never his woman, she cried silently, hugging her arms around her waist to contain the surge of longing. On
ly you make me feel like a woman. But it was only to herself she admitted these things. His figure blended with the night shadows around her, finally disappearing.
With a cry, she turned, knowing she had never finished telling him the truth about Jonas.
Chapter Nine
Sam tried being quiet coming into Ben’s cabin. Taking off his boots, he spread his blanket on the floor before the banked fire. As he got ready for bed he stubbed his toe against the wood box and swore softly. No sooner had he lay down, pillowing his head on folded arms, than he heard Ben stir.
“You fight with Jenny?” came the man’s gruff voice. He didn’t sound a bit like he’d just awakened from sleep.
“Not exactly.” With a shift of his hips, Sam willed his desire to cool.
“She’s a soft, lovin’ woman, Sam.”
Soft. His thoughts were still dwelling on just how soft she was, coming up against his mouth like … oh, hell! He was not going to think about her.
“You hear me?”
“Yeah.”
“Jenny’s a woman that needs a man of her own. I guess you know that by now. But she’s the kind that wants him around,” he added, turning on his side and lifting his bulk to peer at Sam. His body was cast in dense shadow. “You do understand what I’m gettin’ at?”
“Leave off, Ben,” he answered with a weary sigh. “I can’t offer anything, not even a name much less what Jenny thinks she needs from me. And I have needs, too, damn it.”
“You’re angry and bitter ‘bout it, too,” Ben said, giving up all pretense of sleep and sitting up, shoving his blanket aside. “Well, stoke up the fire some and I’ll warm some coffee. I’d figure you ain’t ‘bout ready to sleep.
“Got me a few jugs of the best damn com whiskey this side of heaven. And don’t you be tellin’ Jenny, now,” he warned, moving to his small cupboard. Instead of opening the door, he swung the whole piece away from the wall to reveal a set of deep shelves stocked with several jugs. He took one down and turned. “She comes in to clean the place for me, so I had to find a hidin’ place. Jenny don’t hold with a man drinkin’,” he explained, coming to sit beside Sam.
Holding the two cups, Sam watched him pour until they were half-full before adding some coffee. He was quick to take advantage of the opening Ben provided. “Jonas the only reason for Jenny feeling that way?”
“So she told you ‘bout that. Didn’t think she would.”
Sipping the hot liquid, Sam met Ben’s level gaze across the rim of the cup. He said nothing more, knowing Ben had to decide for himself how much more to tell him. And maybe in Ben’s telling he’d find a few more of the missing pieces he desperately needed.
“Sure would’ve bet Jenny wasn’t going to tell you. But it sorta makes me easy knowin’ she did.”
“Why? Why does she think it would make such a difference to me? And what else is she hiding?”
“You really got it bad for her?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Sam, it means whatever you want. Jus’ simmer down that spit and fire,” he warned, seeing Sam getting ready to stand. “Set down right where you are and we’ll talk. Ain’t no call to take out what’s devilin’ you on me. I ain’t the reason for it and I can’t help you none either. I love that woman and I love Robby. Since her pa passed on they’re like my own.”
Ben took a long pull from his cup. “I blame myself for what happened to Jenny when Andy died. Iffen I’d been around, there wouldn’t a been need for her to hitch up with Jonas.” Staring into the fire, hesitating, Ben softly added, “She was only half-growed.”
“I know. She told me.” He thought about the bitterness of his voice and took a long drink. “How bad was it, Ben?”
“How much did she tell you?” he countered.
“When and how and most of the reasons. A lot of what she left out, I filled in for myself.”
His answer may or may not have satisfied Ben. He was staring off into the flames, cupping both brawny hands around his mug. The silence pressed in on them, then, with a shaky move, Ben lifted his cup and drained it. Refilling it with only whiskey this time, he motioned to Sam, who held out his cup, too.
Setting down the jug, he said, “Ain’t no harm in tellin’ you it was as bad as you could figure. She didn’t know ‘bout men. Couldn’t begin to figure how to hold on to a man like Jonas. He was somethin’, all right. I’ll give the bastard that. Tall and built so that he made men move over when he walked by. Slick-lookin’ devil. Had women’s heads turnin’ when he was around. Colorin’ like the boy’s got, but damn,” he growled, shaking his head, “he’d give a smile to a woman and she’d be flutterin’ lashes and simperin’ all over him. Had himself a laugh rhat made a body want to be a part of it. Even me, I’ll admit. But then, that was before.”
“Before? Before what?” Sam demanded in a choked voice, needing to know and wanting to deny it at the same time.
“Afore he knew ‘bout Robby. ‘Fore he knew Jenny was quarter Ute. And long afore he started runnin’ with a wild bunch. He hated her bein’ Indian. Andy had a fine educatin’ from some missionaries, so Jonas figured they was white. Treated that girl like she was jus’ so much dirt afore he took off. A real bastard that had me so riled I could’ve killed him.”
Sam had to hold himself in check to keep from grabbing Ben and shaking the words out of him. Ben wasn’t going to respond to any prodding on his part, but Sam found it hard to wait.
And Ben made him wait while he finished one cup of whiskey and then poured another. “I had me a funny feelin’ that year. Came back here ‘fore winter was done. Damn good thin’, too. Jenny was here laborin’ to birth Robby and that whoreson bastard had left her alone.”
Sam gripped his cup. Jenny couldn’t have been more than sixteen when she had Robby. Jenny alone up here on the mountain. No woman around to help…
“Yeah. I can see your memory ain’t so bad off you can’t figure how it was for her. I swear to God, Sam, I wanted to kill him when he came back.”
‘Then why the hell didn’t you!” Sam tossed down the remains of his whiskey.
“I didn’t kill him ‘cause Jenny wanted him to have another chance.” Ben’s voice was layered with torment. “I tried to tell her a polecat don’t change its stink, but she wouldn’t hear it. I’ll admit he tried. Got to give the bastard fair in that. But everythin’ had to come easy to him. Money, gamblin’, women, even the damn horses he tried breakin’.” Ben hesitated, then added gruffly, “He weren’t no good by then.”
With barely controlled fury in his voice, Sam said, “I’d be real obliged for a helping more of that whiskey you’re guarding.”
“Help yourself, son. Leaves a bitter taste in your mouth to talk ‘bout that no-good hustler, don’t it?”
“You’re planning on telling me more, aren’t you, Ben?”
“So you ain’t heard enough? Be wantin’ to hear it all, do you? Then you will. I got me enough whiskey to wash the taste of him out of my mouth, but I surely do wonder how you’re gonna get shed of the taste.”
“You don’t need me to answer that, do you?”
“What the hell makes you so sure you’ll find him?” The look Sam shot him had Ben chuckling. “You’ll do jus’ fine. But where was I? Ah, Robby’s birth. Well, Jonas started chasin’ women in town. Jenny didn’t know what to do. A few times she’d try talkin’ to me, but I didn’t know what the hell to tell her. Ain’t never had much truck with women myself. So I’d say let him go and good riddance. She didn’t say much after that. I figured things went from bad to worse. He’d come back here, mean and lookin’ for trouble, wintertime mostly, when I wasn’t ‘round. Jenny let him, claimin’ it was his right to see the boy. She didn’t know ‘bout word goin’ out that Jonas ran with a mean wild bunch. Got himself involved in a killin’ or two along with buildin’ himself a reputation for bein’ a mite trigger happy. Don’t know what truth there was to the story of him helpin�
� to rob an army payroll, but that’s what was said.”
Sam froze. Ben didn’t notice. He had no inkling what sight his words had triggered. But Sam did. His jaw was rigid, seeing himself and too many broken dreams tied to the glitter and flash of brass buttons and blue coats as Ben rambled on, totally unaware.
“Well, that last time, Jenny left Jonas with Robby while she worked a mare for Hadly. I had come back from town myself and found Jenny. She was screamin’ and cryin’, clutchin’ her baby ‘cause he’d left the boy alone.” Ben took another pull on his cup. Then another, and another, until he finished it and reached for the jug again. “She give me Robby and lit out after Jonas. I don’t know what happened ‘twixt ‘em, but she didn’t get back here till after dark. Said nothin’, jus’ took the boy and locked herself in the cabin. Mornin’ she come out and said he ain’t never comin’ back.”
“But he did come back. Robby said his pa took off two years ago. Robby saw him, Ben. He told me about the big herd Jenny had ready to sell. He said…” Sam’s voice trailed off. Locking his eyes with the hard level gaze of Ben’s, he drew in a sharp breath. Ben’s eyes had turned to ice. Wary tension radiated from every crease in his grizzled face. And his voice didn’t ease the tension; if anything, it added to the warning.
“I wasn’t here,” he stated with his deep voice vibrating with intense cold. “I don’t know what wild stories Robby told you, but I don’t know what else happened. Iffen Jenny didn’t see fit to tell you, I couldn’t.”
Why the hell was Ben suddenly lying to him? What had happened here two years ago? Why did it nag at his mind that he knew what it was? “Ben, I…”
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