Picturing Brynn with another man brought on an irrational jealous streak he had no right to feel, but it was there all the same.
When Brynn had finished, she changed the baby’s diaper.
Before tucking Mackenzie back in her bed, Tristan asked, “Mind if I hold her a minute?”
Wordlessly, Brynn passed the infant into his arms.
Cradling Mackenzie to his chest, nuzzling the underside of his chin to her downy hair, he closed his eyes, breathing in her sweet, clean scent. Again, he was struck with an almost painful rush of emotions. He’d missed so much with his son. Great gulps of time he’d never get back. The worst part was, now that he realized the error of his actions, it was too late. Short of moving to California—out of the question unless he gave up the only life he knew as a SEAL.
Eyes welling, he swallowed hard, passing the sleeping baby to her mom. “Sh-she’s gorgeous. You did good.”
“Thanks.” Once Mackenzie drifted off to sleep, they tiptoed from the room.
“Wow...” In the upstairs hall with the nursery door closed, Tristan leaned against the wall, bracing his hands on his knees.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” He reinforced his lie with a firm nod. “I’m good. Guess I wasn’t prepared for the kinds of memories holding sleepy Mackenzie would evoke.”
“You held her at the hospital and seemed fine.” Brynn ran her hand in warm, comforting strokes up his arm.
“That was different. This felt more like home. More intimate, you know?”
Nodding, she said, “I used to hate it when Mack was on the road when Cayden was this little. While in my head, I understand there are times a man—or woman—can’t be with his or her child, in my heart, I don’t like it. Cayden hated when his father was gone.”
“How’s he doing with Mackenzie? Any better?”
Brynn slid down the wall, sitting cross-legged alongside him. “I don’t know. When he’s with you or Coach Jason or his friends, he’s a totally different boy than when he’s with me.”
“Still sullen? Resenting his sister?”
“Yep. He’s got some crazy idea in his head that just because she’s here, I love him less.”
Tristan took a moment to mull that over. “Kids are weird. Strange things go through their heads—at least I know that was the case with me.” He laughed. “He’ll be all right. Just give him time.” The advice was easy enough to give, but so far, what had time done for Tristan other than leave him infinitely more confused?
* * *
“THIS IS DELICIOUS.” GEORGIA tagged along with Brynn to Cayden’s Saturday afternoon game. “Can’t remember the last time I’ve had a hot dog.”
“Save room for dessert,” Brynn advised. “Cotton candy’s the best.”
Georgia nodded, smiling through her latest bite.
The weatherman and gray skies forecasted rain, but so far, it’d held off. Though the humidity was off the charts, at least they didn’t also have to contend with blazing sun.
While her son looked adorable in his uniform, Tristan looked—whew, Brynn fanned herself with a magazine she’d found in her purse. His red Mud Bug jersey clung to him in all the right places and she appreciated both coaches following the tradition of wearing team uniforms. Nothing accentuated the male derriere quite like a pair of booty-hugging baseball pants.
“Did I miss anything?” Out of breath, Donna sat on the bleachers next to Brynn. Vivian hung with a group of team moms a little farther down. Mackenzie lounged in her carrier beside Georgia.
“Not yet,” Brynn said. “Cayden’s next up to bat. I swear if my heart beats any harder, I’ll need CPR.”
“Let’s not go there,” Donna urged. “I finally got to the doctor yesterday and he still wants me to lower my cholesterol.”
“How’s your weight?” Georgia asked. “I think you look great.”
“Thanks.” Donna blasted them with a smile. “I’m down twenty-two pounds, but the doc wants thirty more. Personally, I think I’m in more danger from starving to death than heart issues.”
“Don’t quit,” Brynn said, surprising herself by giving the woman a spontaneous hug. “I’d like to keep you around a lot longer.”
“Aw, you’re a sweetheart—which must be why my boy stayed at your house till after midnight last night?” She winked.
Brynn turned ten shades of pink.
Georgia snapped, “Donna Bartoni, I told you not to bring that up. Now Brynn’s going to think I’m a snoop.”
“Which you are,” Brynn interjected.
“Sorry,” Donna said without looking the least bit apologetic. “It’s not exactly a secret I think Brynn and my son would make an adorable family. I’m excited to see progress is finally being made.” To Brynn, she asked, “So? I’m assuming at some point during the night you two finally got around to kissing?”
Mouth clamped tight, Brynn covered her flaming face with her hands. Even worse than Donna’s questioning was the fact that no, she hadn’t gotten a kiss. Though she’d shamefully very much wanted one!
Georgia finished her hot dog and started on a bag of chips. “I’m taking all that silent blushing as a positive sign.”
“Both of you hush,” Brynn begged. “It’s finally Cayden’s turn to bat.” Pulse hammering, barely able to breathe, she clenched her hands, praying he at least touched the ball with his bat.
“He’ll do fine.” Donna patted her leg. “Tristan says he’s already come a long way.”
“Strike one!” the ump called when Cayden missed his first pitch.
Brynn crossed her fingers and couldn’t stop jiggling her right leg. “Come on, Cayden! You can do it!”
“Strike two!”
“Lord have mercy,” Georgia muttered. “Come on, Cayden!”
On the third pitch, Cayden hit the ball so beautifully, it seemed to sail right on into the next county, and then...plopped right into an outfielder’s mitt.
“Out!”
Though Cayden had made it to first base, he was now trudging back to the dugout. Tristan jogged his way, putting his arm around the boy’s shoulders, saying something supportive that had her son nodding and almost smiling. If there was anything Tristan could do to make her like him even more, restoring her son’s happiness topped her list.
* * *
MONDAY MORNING, TRISTAN LED his mom down the fresh fruits and vegetables aisle. “If you’re bored with carrots, try jicama.”
“Who said I’m bored with anything—other than how long it’s taking you to get a romance brewing with Brynn?”
He sighed. “Not only am I damaged goods, but she has no interest.”
She smacked his behind. “Don’t you ever say that about yourself again. True, you were gone an awful lot from Andrea and Jack, but it wasn’t like you could tell your commanding officer you didn’t want to go. As for Brynn having no interest—ha! You should’ve seen her checking out your buns at the ballpark.”
“Mom!” He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening. The more he was with Brynn, the more he found in her to like. But that didn’t mean he was ready to take things further. “Give it a rest. Brynn and I are just friends.”
She grabbed a tub of cherry tomatoes. “Then why were you at her house till midnight?”
“The embarrassing truth? We got to playing one of Cayden’s video games and she beat the pants off me.”
Donna raised her eyebrows. “So pants were off?”
Tristan shook his head.
* * *
HAVING DROPPED CAYDEN AT HIS team practice, Thursday afternoon Brynn balanced her checkbook to find her account total less than thrilling. Supposedly the assets she and Mack had shared were unfrozen, but she didn’t trust the money was hers. As for the St. Louis house, she’d already contacted a Realto
r about selling it. If there was anything the past year had taught her, it was to be more self-reliant.
“Want to help Mommy find a job?” she asked in a sing-song voice to Mackenzie.
The baby made an adorable gurgling coo.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Seated with Mackenzie on the sofa, Brynn searched the Ruin Bayou Gazette for jobs. There were a few commission-only sales positions that held zero appeal, an opening for a new high school guidance counselor and a part-time position working at Morgan Hill Nursery. “You know, pumpkin, that sounds like something I might actually be qualified for. Only I’m not sure what to do with you.”
Mackenzie just stared at her.
“It’s a small place. Think they’d let me bring you? I could carry you around in one of those baby backpacks. We could have fun. Be like mommy and baby kangaroos.”
Through the open windows came the sound of Tristan’s truck crunching on the gravel drive. How sad was it that she not only recognized the specific sound of his vehicle, but her heart raced every time he brought Cayden home.
When two sets of footsteps clomped across the front porch, Brynn fluffed her hair. Just because she and Tristan were only friends, didn’t mean she couldn’t look her best.
“Mom! Mom!” Cayden threw open the screen door. “I made a homerun!”
“That’s awesome!” On her feet, she held Mackenzie on her hip while hugging him. “Tell me everything.”
“Well, since it was only practice, Frank was pitching, and I just tried real hard to remember everything Coach Tristan taught me, and then bam! I hit it really, really hard and the ball went so far into the swamp, we couldn’t find it and had to get a new one.”
“Whoa...that’s pretty cool.” She looked over her son to Tristan, who’d helped make this miracle possible and mouthed, Thank you.
He mouthed back, You’re welcome.
Maybe she was caught up in the fun of the moment, but she felt his words as clearly as if he’d whispered them in her ear. She imagined his breath, warm on her neck, and despite the day’s heat she shivered. Something about the silent exchange struck her as intimate. And good. And she never wanted the feeling to end. “We should totally celebrate. Cayden, think we should invite Coach Tristan for a night of minigolf?”
“Yeah!” Her son jumped up and down. “Pleeease, Tristan! It’ll be fun!”
All the excitement must’ve spooked Mackenzie, as she started to cry.
Cayden shot her a dirty look. “Stupid baby! Why you gotta ruin everything?”
“Hey,” Tristan warned. “Not cool.”
“Apologize,” Brynn said.
“Why?” he sassed. “It’s not like she’s even smart enough to know what anyone says.”
Pointing up the stairs, Brynn said, “Go to your room.”
“But I thought we were playing minigolf?”
“All you’re going to do is think about improving your attitude.”
With Cayden in his room, having slammed his door behind him, Brynn finally exhaled.
Mackenzie still sniffled and her eyes were red, but she’d soon enough recover. It was her son who had Brynn worried.
Tristan put his hands in his pockets. “That could’ve gone better.”
“Tell me about it. Welcome to my daily nightmare.”
“What’re you going to do?”
On her way to the sofa, she shrugged. “Beats me. Think I should take him to a counselor? He has been through an awful lot.”
“True, but when he’s with me, he’s fine. My gut feel is that he’s terrified of losing you to his little sister.”
“But that’s silly.” Brynn placed Mackenzie in her play seat, then tidied to help settle her nerves. “How could he not know I love him? I tell him all the time.”
“Want me to talk to him?”
“Would you mind?”
He flashed her a faint smile before charging up the stairs.
* * *
WHEN SOMEBODY KNOCKED ON HIS door, Cayden threw his batting mitt at it. “Leave me alone!”
The door opened anyway. But it was Coach Tristan and not his mom. “Can I come in?”
“I guess.” Cayden sat crisscross applesauce on the bed. He knew he was too old for kindergarten stuff like that, but it made him feel better. Like back when he was little and everything was okay. His dad was still alive and his mom only had one kid to pay attention to.
“What’s up?” Tristan sat on Cayden’s toy chest.
“Nothing. I just hate my stupid sister.”
Nodding, Tristan picked up the autographed baseball Cayden’s dad had given him that’d been signed by most of the guys on his famous team. “I used to hate mine, too. There were a bunch of times she’d get a fancy dress or something girly like that and I wouldn’t get anything. It wasn’t fair. But now that I’m older, I get that girls need different stuff than guys. Right now, Mackenzie needs more because she’s a baby. You had your turn to be the baby, but now it’s her turn. As her big brother, your job is to help watch out for her and take care of her. But how are you going to do that if you hate her?”
Cayden shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Mom doesn’t love me and she’s gonna make me live in my pirate fort, because all she does is make stupid baby noises at Mackenzie.”
Tristan studied the ball. “Sounds to me like you might be jealous. Kind of like I am of you having this awesome ball.”
“Am not!”
“Just sayin’...”
“Well—” Cayden hit his pillow “—it’s not fair Mom spends every second with the baby. What about me?”
“Do you know how many of your practices and games she goes to? Almost every one. And I’ll bet all your baseball gear cost way more than Mac’s diapers.”
“I s’pose.” Cayden didn’t want to think about any of that. He just wanted to be right, because that’s what felt best.
“And remember that awesome birthday party your mom threw for you?”
“Yeah,” Cayden argued, “but you made my fort! She didn’t love me enough to do that!”
“Okay, whoa.” Tristan stood and he was so big he looked a little scary. “You need to knock it off. Back then, your mom could hardly cook you dinner, how was she supposed to build a fort? You know I think you’re amazing, Cayden, but honestly? You’re acting like a spoiled brat. I’m sorry you lost your dad—really, I am. He was an awesome guy. But that doesn’t give you the right to go around being mean to your mom who loves you. If anything, you should be extra nice to her for all she does.”
“You better stop or I’m going to hate you, too!” Cayden jumped off his bed and ran for the door, but Tristan caught him.
“No more running. You’re going to stick around and face your problems like a little man.”
“I hate you!” Cayden hollered, but then he was crying and hitting Tristan’s legs, but even then Tristan didn’t stop hugging him.
“That’s okay,” Tristan said. “If it makes you feel better to hate me, go right ahead.”
Cayden cried worse than his baby sister and when Tristan still didn’t stop hugging him, that made him feel good.
His bedroom door creaked open and his mom walked in. “Everything okay?”
He let go of Tristan to run to her. “I’m sorry,” he said with a giant hug. “Please love me and don’t leave me like Dad did!”
“Oh, sweetie, I will always love you. You mean the world to me.”
“More than Mac?” He looked up at her and sniffed.
“It’s different. Like when you get a new toy, it’s fun. But that doesn’t mean you don’t still love your old toys just as much, because they’ve been with you the longest.”
“Oh.” Cayden kinda understood.
Tristan cleared his throat, then set Cayden’s baseball back on
the shelf. “I should, ah, probably get going.”
“Already?” Cayden asked.
“I need to help my mom with some stuff. But you remember what we talked about and be good for your mom, okay?”
Cayden nodded. “I will.” Rushing to his friend Tristan, he crushed him in a hug, too. “I love you. You’re the most awesome-est coach ever.”
“Thanks, bud. I think you’re pretty awesome, too.”
Chapter Eleven
I love you.
The whole trip to his mother’s Tristan’s stomach flamed with nerves. The last thing he needed was for an amazing kid like Cayden to put his trust and love in him, because clearly Tristan was lousy at being a dad.
He’d been trying to get ahold of Jack for a week, and always just missed him. Tristan was sick of Andrea giving him the runaround, and when he and his mom headed out there next week, he planned on setting some new ground rules. He’d been more than accommodating when it came to letting his ex run off with their son, but he’d be damned if she’d now keep him from even talking to Jack on the phone.
In the house, he found his mom in her crafting room, hot gluing rhinestones on a doll skirt.
“Rats,” she said without looking up at him. “You’re home way earlier than I would’ve liked.”
“Please, stop with the matchmaking. It isn’t going to happen—especially after what just went down.”
He now had her undivided attention. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. Cayden was in a snit, so I offered to talk with him. He broke down and just when I finally felt like I’d broken into his shell, he goes and tells me he loves me.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” She sipped from her bottled water.
“Not just bad, but catastrophic. He’s already lost his dad. If he’s now looking to me as a father figure, that can’t be good for him. I need to get back to my base. How’s he going to handle two men vanishing from his life?”
She returned to gluing. “You know what my answer would be, so why are you even bringing this up?”
“Oh—” He laughed. “Let me run right out and buy Brynn a ring, resign from the navy and we’ll all live happily ever after, right?”
The SEAL's Valentine (Operation: Family) Page 11