Although she could barely afford the rent on her two-bedroom apartment, she was glad to be out of her parents’ house. She had gone crazy while she lived here. Her dad’s strict rules made her life miserable. Then they didn’t have a computer or cable and she had to be off the telephone by nine.
Rachel was grateful when she moved out. Life was so much better. Granted, she still didn’t have a computer or cable, she simply couldn’t afford it. But overall, she wouldn’t trade her freedom for the world.
Rachel thought about how tight things were for her financially. It probably would’ve been best for her to stay with her parents, but she’d rather struggle all day and night than go through that again. She really should have gone after Bobby for child support, that would’ve eased some of her financial woes. But she had been reluctant to do that, so sure they would get back together. Both he and Tony, who had moved to Chicago, were giving her money, but just enough to buy groceries and get her hair done every week.
Rachel had just begun to doze off when she heard the patio door slide open behind her.
Rachel turned as her oldest brother eased in.
“David, what are you doing?” She noticed that his hair was disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot.
“Shhhh … I’m invisible.”
Rachel shook her head and kicked back in the recliner, shifting to get comfortable. “You’re a crackhead, that’s what you are.” She couldn’t tell if he was high or not. It seemed like he stayed high, despite three trips to rehab. She didn’t feel like being bothered with him anyway, so she just closed her eyes again, trying to get back to sleep. A crashing sound and her mother’s scream made her jump up.
Rachel raced into the kitchen and saw that her mother had dropped a plate on the floor.
“David! Stop sneaking around here,” Loretta said. “You ’bout scared me to death.”
“I was just messing with you, Ma.” David kept rubbing his arm as he talked. “Hey, sweet pea.” He walked over to Nia, who was sitting on the floor, and kissed her on the cheek. She gurgled with laughter. “And hey to you, little man,” he added, playfully punching Jordan in the head. “You got a job yet?”
Jordan, who was coloring a picture at the kitchen table, looked up, wide-eyed and innocent. “I’m too little to have a job.”
“No, you ain’t. I hear they’re hiring down at the bus station. You could haul luggage.”
“Unh-unh,” Jordan responded.
“You need to take your own self down to the bus station and get a job,” Rachel said.
After college David worked off and on for the state until he was injured again while trying to hang lights for a Christmas function. He’d milked the state for everything he could, and was still collecting disability.
David ignored his sister and turned back to his mother, who was picking up the broken pieces from the floor. “Where’s Dad?”
“Your father is asleep.”
“Good, ’cuz I didn’t come to see him.” David leaned down and kissed his mother. “I came to see you. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” She stood up, walked over, and dumped the broken pieces in the trash.
David looked nervously around. “Well, look here, Ma, I need to borrow some money. It’s just a loan.”
Rachel leaned up against the wall and crossed her arms. “People pay back loans. That would be impossible for you to do seeing as how you don’t have a job!”
David shot his sister an angry look. “Shut up! Just ’cuz you got a little pissant job at the mall, you think you know everything.”
He turned back to his mother. “For real, Ma, I’m enrolling in some classes down at the community college and I need some help paying my tuition. I have to at least put a deposit down for them to hold my classes.”
Rachel laughed. “You must think she’s stupid.”
“I said, shut up. Ain’t nobody talking to you.”
Rachel looked at her brother with disgust. His once firm skin sagged from his bones. His smooth, milk-chocolate complexion was now covered with dark splotches. Drugs had sucked any semblance of beauty out of him.
“Mama, you know he ain’t goin’ do nothing but use the money to get high.”
Loretta looked skeptically at David. “I know you ain’t back messing around with those drugs.”
“Ma, don’t listen to her. I told you I don’t mess with that stuff anymore. I’m clean. You can call my parole officer. He’ll tell you.”
Rachel curled up her lips at her brother’s bold-faced lie. He’d done three years in prison for possession of crack cocaine. You would think after that, he would’ve gone straight.
Loretta looked at her son like she was trying to gauge whether he was being truthful. “I’m going to trust you on this, David, simply because I want you to know I have faith in you.” She picked up her purse from the kitchen counter.
“Cross my heart and hope to die.” David ran his finger in a T across his chest.
Rachel couldn’t tell if her mother really believed that story or if she was just trying to lay a guilt trip on her brother.
Loretta rifled through her purse, then pulled out some money. “Okay, baby. Here’s a hundred dollars. It’s all the cash I have. You go pay for your classes. I’m proud of you. I know you have it in you to get your life together.”
David kissed his mother again. He grabbed the hundred-dollar bill and stuffed it in his pocket. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Ughhhh!” Rachel turned and stormed out of the kitchen, back to the den. Her brother had been doing drugs since a torn ACL ended his promising NFL career. He hadn’t gotten past his second year of college before he became hooked on heroin. Now, he was doing either crack or some kind of cocaine. Rachel didn’t know which, but they were all the same to her. He had never stayed clean for long after his rehab stays. Their mother was too blind to see that.
“Bye, Ma,” David called out as he walked back into the den and toward the patio door. “And, oh yeah, don’t tell Daddy. I want to surprise him about me going back to school.”
Loretta followed David out of the kitchen to the patio door. “Now, David, you know I don’t like keeping things from your father. As head of household he deserves to know these things.”
Rachel wanted to slap her mother. Enough with this head of household crap. Her mother went way too far with that. Rachel couldn’t understand it. It’s not like her mother was some indigent housewife who didn’t have a dime to her name or any skills. On the contrary, she was a college graduate who had been teaching second grade for over twenty-five years. She made a decent salary and was set to retire next year, so it wasn’t like she couldn’t make it on her own if she left Simon. For Loretta, however, leaving was never an option.
Rachel watched as her brother snuggled up to their mother like he was a ten year old.
“But, Mama, God says surprises are good.”
“Where does God say that?”
“I don’t know. First Leviticus, seventh verse or something. I don’t know. Just please, do me this one favor?”
Loretta hesitated. “Okay, baby, I won’t say anything. I’ll let you tell him. He’s going to be so excited about you going back to school. I knew you would make us proud.”
David kissed his mother one last time and walked out the door. Loretta stopped him. “David?”
“Yeah, Ma?”
“I trust you, okay?”
Rachel could have sworn she saw a glimmer of guilt flicker across her brother’s face, but it passed so quickly she couldn’t be sure.
Rachel scrunched up her nose, disgusted. This whole scene was absolutely sickening. How could her mother be so spineless when it came to Simon and so dumb when it came to David?
Rachel pondered it briefly as she dropped back in the recliner and made herself comfortable enough to sleep again.
3
SIMON GRINNED WIDELY at the newspaper article. His church was being featured for a new children’s center they had just establish
ed in the neighborhood.
This was the twenty-sixth time in fourteen years Zion Hill had been profiled in the local newspapers. Each article hung in a frame around the conference room, his office, and the fellowship hall. Simon was extremely proud of his role in the church’s growth. Zion Hill had less than fifty members when he first became pastor. Now, there were over nine hundred. The church could’ve had more, but it couldn’t compete with the new mega, ten-thousand-member churches springing up all over town. Simon wasn’t quite sure he wanted Zion Hill to become that large. He enjoyed knowing the faces of those sitting in the pews to hear his sermons.
Simon had been an associate pastor at another church before moving to Zion Hill. He was thrilled about getting his own church, and determined to make it a success. He was fulfilling a lifelong dream. As a child, he used to pretend he was preaching before a congregation. He had always dreamt of the day when he’d have a real, live congregation—one that could make its mark on the community.
Zion Hill was his baby. He had literally given birth to it and watched it grow. Now, he devoted every waking moment to ensuring its success. His children had often complained about all the time he put into the church, but Simon knew his devotion to Zion Hill was the Lord’s will, and prayed that his children would understand.
“Knock, knock.” Delilah Alexander, the church secretary, poked her head into Simon’s office. “Pastor Jackson, are you busy?”
Simon smiled. Delilah was a stunningly voluptuous woman who left many a man swooning. Simon, however, was enamored with her because of her efficiency. He had been through several secretaries over the years and Delilah was by far the best. The only problem he had was that she seemed smitten with him and was forever making innuendos. Flirting was a line Simon never, ever crossed. Loretta was a good woman and he had been faithful to her since the day they said “I do” thirty-four years ago.
“Yes, Delilah, what can I do for you?”
Delilah shifted nervously. “I was wondering if we could talk?”
“Sure, come on in and have a seat.”
Simon pointed to a chair in front of his desk. Delilah sat down and seductively crossed her legs.
Simon tried to contain his smile. If he had a dollar for every time some woman came on to him, he’d be a rich man.
He knew part of it was physical. Women were always telling him how handsome he was: At six feet two inches, he was still in great shape. His short, cropped Afro and beard were peppered with gray. Loretta was always telling him that his beard was the icing on the cake of his mocha complexion.
He also knew a lot of women were intrigued by his faithfulness. Some wondered what he saw in Loretta. She was plain but had a gentle look about her that he found absolutely intriguing. She was a little on the heavy side and very quiet. As one woman had so boldly told him once, “She’s not the type of woman I’d expect to see you with.” However, he was in love with his wife. He had met Loretta at Langston University in Oklahoma. They were both out-of-state students attending on academic scholarships. Loretta was from a small town in Arkansas and Simon was from Texas. They began dating at the end of their freshman year and stayed together until they married senior year. After graduation, they returned to Simon’s hometown of Houston, where he began his career in the church.
Loretta was a good, God-fearing wife, and Simon was a good, God-fearing man. He took his vows seriously. He knew a number of preachers who slept around but he promised he would never be one of them, no matter how many women threw themselves at him. He almost slipped up with a woman he met at a Baptist conference a few years after he first married. In fact, he had planned to meet the woman the last evening of the conference. That was the same day Loretta told him she was pregnant with their first child. Simon took that as a sign from the Lord. He called the woman, cancelled, apologized, and had never come close to cheating again.
“Yes, Sister Alexander, what can I do for you?”
“It’s my boyfriend. May I?” Delilah motioned toward the Kleenex on his desk. Simon nodded and she pulled two tissues out the box and started dabbing at her eyes. “I thought we were going to get married, but I just found out he’s cheating on me. I went to Radio Shack, bought one of those devices that let you record incoming calls. I heard him on the phone talking to this woman I thought was my friend. They were making plans to meet again. It seems this has been going on for nearly a year now.” Delilah started to cry softly. Simon knew this was the point when he should get up and hug her, but something told him that’s what Delilah was counting on. She leaned forward, exposing her cleavage. “Why can’t everybody be like you, Pastor?”
Simon sat up straight in his seat. He wanted to make sure he put on his serious face so that Delilah wouldn’t get any ideas. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Delilah. I know it’s hard, but you need to tell yourself you deserve better anyway. This was God’s way of showing you that.”
Delilah sniffed and lowered her eyes. “Pastor … I know you’re a married man …”
Simon held up his hand and cut her off. “And I know you know how much I honor my wife and respect my vows.” Simon always felt the need to reiterate that to the women in the church.
Delilah didn’t look up. “I know you honor your wife. It’s just … well … I just … hope one day I can find a man who feels the same way about me.”
“Be patient. God has your soul mate out there. He’s just waiting for you to get yourself ready before he brings him to you.”
“You think so?” Delilah sniffed.
“I know so.” Simon smiled. “Now, about this fool boyfriend of yours. What’s his name?”
“Roderick.”
“Roderick. Well, do you want me to get some of my boys to rough him up?” Simon joked.
Delilah laughed and dabbed the rest of the tears from her face. “You are too funny, Pastor.”
Simon cracked his knuckles. “You sure? You just say the words. I ain’t always been a Christian.”
Delilah got up; the tears were finally drying up. “I’m sure.” She looked at Simon with a smile. “Can I hug you?”
Simon felt like he had gotten his point across so he figured there’d be no harm in hugging her. “Of course.” He got up and walked around his desk. Delilah took him in her arms and squeezed him tightly. She acted like she never wanted to let him go.
“Funny and faithful,” she whispered.
Simon pulled back. “What did you say?”
“I said thank you. Thank you for restoring my faith in men.”
Simon’s expression became serious. “Don’t put your faith in men, Delilah. Put your faith in God and everything else will work out.”
Delilah hugged him again, then turned to walk out of the office.
“Oh, and Delilah?”
“Yes,” she replied, turning back around.
“Stay away from Radio Shack. When you go looking for trouble, nine times out of ten, you’ll find it.” Simon smiled.
“Duly noted,” Delilah replied, before turning and walking back to her desk.
Simon breathed a sigh of relief. He loved talking with people and helping them work out their problems. If he hadn’t pursued the ministry, he probably would’ve become a full-time counselor. He was pretty good at it, too. Except when it came to Rachel and David. Jonathan listened to Simon’s advice, but those other two? No amount of counseling in the world would get through to them.
Simon quickly shook off thoughts of his children; they just got his blood pressure up. He returned to his desk to do what he liked best—reading about the success of his church.
4
“LORETTA!” SIMON YELLED. “The lawn man is here. Don’t you have some cash on you so I can pay him?”
Simon stood at the front door, eager to get back to writing his sermon for next Sunday. When he was on a roll, he hated to be interrupted.
Loretta walked into the living room. “Did you say something, honey?”
“Yeah, can you pay the lawn man? We owe him for this w
eek and last week.”
Loretta nervously rubbed her hands on her apron.
“Woman, you done gone deaf? Can you pay the man? I just gave you a hundred dollars yesterday.”
Thinking that his wife would handle the situation, Simon turned to make his way back to his desk. He noticed, however, that she hadn’t moved.
“Loretta? Oh, forget it; where’s your purse? I’ll get the money myself.”
Simon stormed into the kitchen, where he spotted her purse lying on the counter next to the phone. Loretta followed him into the room and stopped him from picking it up.
“It’s not there,” she said quietly.
Simon turned toward her. “What?”
Loretta cast her eyes down. “It’s not there.”
“What do you mean, it’s not there? Where is it?” Simon stared at his wife, waiting for an answer. “Loretta, where’s the money?”
Loretta hesitated, then quickly spoke. “I gave it to David.” She spun around and scuttled out of the kitchen.
“You did what?” Simon shouted after her. He followed her back into the living room. “I know you didn’t say what I just thought you said.”
Loretta busied herself with arranging the magazines on the coffee table. “David is going back to school to take some classes and he needed money for tuition. He wanted to surprise you and tell you himself.” She didn’t look up as she spoke.
Simon looked at his wife in amazement. They had had this conversation countless times. David was not to get a dime from them. After he stole forty dollars from the church offering, Simon had all but written him off. That had to be the most embarrassing moment of his whole career.
“Excuse me, Reverend Jackson, maybe I should come back tomorrow.” The lawn man’s voice snapped Simon out of his daze.
“Uh, yeah, Juan. I’m sorry. Can I write you a check?”
Juan hesitated before answering. “Actually, Reverend Jackson, I’ll just come back tomorrow for the cash. I haven’t opened up a checking account yet and it’s just easier if I get cash.”
Let the Church Say Amen Page 2