Hearts Renewed

by Mary Manners

  Sam uncapped the bottle for her and pressed it to her lips.

  “There,” he said when she drew a sip. “There you go. Good.”

  The second sip came more easily. She drained half the bottle and set it aside. Her thoughts came into focus.

  “This is my fault.” She leaned forward in the chair and buried her face in her hands. Her heart pounded against her chest. “There was a time when I questioned why I’d been given Tucker…a time when I wished him gone. And now…”

  She couldn’t bring herself to voice the horrible words…to give truth to them.

  ~*~

  Sam waited for Izzy to cry it out, and then he let her talk. The words proved cathartic, and they unveiled a light that offered insight into her soul.

  “I told you I was in college when I got pregnant with Tucker, and that’s when I started working at the radio station.”

  “Yes, go on.” Sam stroked her hair, smoothing tangles from the matted curls. He hoped his touch soothed away some of the pain. At least Izzy’s shaking had lessened to intermittent trembles.

  “The pregnancy…it wasn’t planned.” She shook her head slightly. “I was a different person back then, angry at the world and I didn’t even know why. I did some stupid things…made some stupid choices. I put myself in situations where I never should have ventured.”

  “Izzy, we’ve all done stupid, crazy things when we were young. Some of us never grow out of it. Others, well…they learn and grow.”

  “Tucker was borne of my bad choices. I was dating a guy—Tucker’s dad—and thinking I was so grown up because he was older. Ten years older. My parents didn’t think much of him and they warned me to keep my distance, but that only fueled the fire. I was an adult, able to make my own choices. I didn’t need them to micromanage every aspect of my life—especially my social life.” She swiped tears from her eyes and then fisted her hands in her lap. “But I soon found out my parents were right. The age difference between Tucker’s father and I rooted us in different perspectives, with a vastly different set of objectives. I was thinking of a sunshine-and-butterflies forever after and he was working toward a more nefarious goal.”

  She slanted Sam a look, gauging his reaction. He plastered a poker face, unwilling to judge her.

  “Obviously, his intentions won out over mine. When he found out I was pregnant, he took off running. He never bargained on a kid. He was just looking for a good time.” Tears welled. “You cannot imagine how that wounded me, to know I’d been no more to him than a plaything.”

  Sam barely breathed as he waited.

  “I had no choice but to leave the college life and head home to my parents. By then my dad was already sick, and Mom was carrying a pretty heavy burden herself. But she didn’t chastise me, and she refrained from saying, ‘I told you so’ though I know she must have thought it a hundred times over the course of the next several months.”

  “You don’t have to do this, Izzy…I don’t need to know.”

  “Yes, you do.” She nodded stiffly. “Because you matter, Sam. You matter to me. And truth is the only way to set things to right.”

  “OK.” He brushed a hand through her hair, careful to avoid the bruises and bumps as he smoothed tangled strands of hair from her tear-streaked face. “Go on. I’m listening.”

  “In the beginning I used to lay in my bed at night, terrified of the future and what it might bring.” Her voice cracked as she gazed up at him. “I questioned why this would happen…why God would allow such a thing to happen. I hated myself, and I hated the situation I was in. I thought about adoption. I had plans for my life, and a kid at twenty wasn’t on the agenda.”

  The intercom sounded, and Izzy stiffened as she paused to listen. It was white noise that blended with the audio drifting from the corner TV, nothing more. A glance at the doorway told them no word concerning Tucker’s condition had come.

  Slowly, Izzy continued.

  “Then one day I felt this fluttering in my belly.” She splayed a hand across her abdomen. “And he was more than just an imagining in my mind—more than an inconvenience. He was Tucker, my son.” The words came on a sob. “I quit questioning and started trusting, and though the doubts remained, they lessened with each passing day until finally, he was in my arms.”

  “Tucker’s beautiful, Izzy. Just like you.”

  “God allowed it to happen, for whatever reason, the way it did. He turned my sinful choices into something beautiful. And now, I can’t imagine my life without Tucker.”

  Tears flowed down her cheeks and Sam brushed them away with the pad of his thumb. “It’s going to be OK, sweetheart,” he murmured.

  “Maybe God’s punishing me for all the times I doubted Him. Maybe he’s going to take Tucker away.”

  “No. That’s not the way God works, Izzy.”

  The words hit home. Hadn’t he thought the very same thing so many times since Molly’s death? How many times had he railed against God, blaming Him for what had happened?

  Suddenly, he saw himself in Izzy’s eyes, and he was humbled. Despite the heartache, God remained in control. Sam felt His presence, and knew He’d never left his side.

  The time had come to stop doubting and start walking…one step at a time.

  “Miss Carpenter?” A nurse entered the room. She clutched a clipboard to her chest as she offered a weary smile. “Your son is out of surgery and resting down the hall. You can see him now.”

  11

  Izzy heard a knock at the front door and a smile lit her face. She knew it was Sam, and she turned from Tucker’s bedroom and started down the hallway.

  He’d come every day since Tucker’s release from the hospital. The child looked forward to Sam’s daily visits. So did Izzy.

  She ran to open the door.

  “Hi, beautiful.” Sam held a helium balloon by the string. It showcased one of Tucker’s favorite superheroes. He’d be delighted.

  “Hi, Sam.” Izzy eased into his arms and lifted her face to him. Sam pressed his lips to her forehead.

  “You’re healing nicely.” Sam fluttered kisses along her hairline and Izzy’s knees turned to gelatin. His embrace was warm and welcomed. Izzy couldn’t imagine a time when she had lived without it.

  “Well, this is a nice hello.” Izzy smoothed a palm along his cheek. “I didn’t expect you until later.”

  “I called in to the office this morning and told then I’m taking the day off.” Sam grinned. “How is the little patient today?”

  “He’s feistier than ever.” Izzy stepped back from the doorway to allow him entrance. “I can hardly keep him still any longer. He’s begging to go to his soccer game.”

  “Did you ask the doctor about it?”

  “Yes.” Izzy clasped her hands. Even though two weeks had passed since the accident and Tucker’s subsequent surgery to staunch internal bleeding, his bruises were slow to fade. He’d broken an ankle and his clavicle, which made ambulating a challenge. And, to top it all off, driving still made Izzy more than a little skittish. She knew the uneasy feeling would eventually pass, but in the meantime she struggled. “And he said Tucker could watch, but…that’s it.”

  “Well, a little fresh air might do him good. How about I help you get Tucker ready and then chauffer for you?”

  Relief spread through Izzy. “I know Tucker would love that, and I’d appreciate it, too.”

  She appreciated a lot more about life, having come through this storm. Tucker would be fine, and Sam was with her. That, in itself, proved a miracle.

  ~*~

  “How’s the view from up there?” Sam asked as he crossed the soccer field toward the sideline where Tucker’s team was waiting to start their game. He’d hoisted the child carefully onto his shoulders, making it easier for them to navigate the crowd. Now, Tucker used his uninjured arm to cling like a monkey to Sam’s neck.

  “Great.” Tucker’s voice was filled with an enthusiasm Sam hadn’t heard since the accident. “I see Billy and Susie and there’s Coach
McReynolds. They’re wavin’ at me.”

  Indeed, a few of the kids rushed over, eager to see their long-lost teammate. Questions fired like BB’s as Izzy unfolded a chair along the sideline.

  Sam lowered Tucker into the seat as the children surrounded him.

  “Careful,” Izzy cautioned, extending one of her arms to stave off the swarm. “Tucker’s still a little sore.”

  But the jaw-splitting grin on Tucker’s face this sort of greeting proved a powerful pain medication. Sam tied the superhero balloon to Tucker’s chair back while Izzy positioned a two-seater camp chair beside him.

  They settled in together as a morning storm cleared and sunlight moved in to warm with the promise of summer. Grass shimmered like flickering lights as the aroma of hamburger meat drifted from the concession stand. Smoke billowed from heated grills while laughter punctuated muted conversations. It all brought back memories of the first time Sam had returned here, nearly two months ago. He reflected on that day, on the questions than had plagued his resentment-riddled mind. He knew now the purpose in his initial call to the radio station…and his conversation with Izzy.

  He also understood the reason he’d come to meet her here on Family Day.

  Sam loved her. He’d fallen in love with her. Somewhere along the way it had happened, and there was no turning back.

  Not that he’d ever want to.

  “Mama, Sam…look!” Tucker’s voice drew Sam from his thoughts.

  The child pointed to the sky, where a rainbow crossed over a deep, clear blue.

  “It’s beautiful, honey,” Izzy murmured as she gazed at the cerulean expanse. “Don’t you think so, Sam?”

  “Yes.” Sam reached for Izzy’s hand and twined his fingers with hers. The vision mirrored everything that filled Sam’s heart…love…hope…faith.

  Epilogue

  Sam slipped on his suit jacket and exited the car. He switched off his cell phone and tucked it into his pocket as he crossed the parking lot.

  No phone calls today. No calls for the foreseeable future—at least none that were work-related.

  He’d scaled back on his hours at the firm. No more working into the night or driving in on weekends to bury himself in a mountain of files. He had other things to tend to. Important things.

  Important people.

  The autumn air proved brisk and dried leaves crunched beneath Sam’s feet, releasing a sweet, musky scent as Sam wound his way through the parking lot. Vehicles sat in neat rows along the blacktop and each carried people who’d come to see Izzy and Tucker.

  And Sam.

  Because today he meant to marry the love of his life and make a family of his own—a family of three.

  If he was lucky, they’d soon become a family of four…or more.

  He’d be happy with more. He was happy now.

  Happier than he’d ever been.

  Music drifted from the church as Sam made his way around to the rear entrance. He knew this path led to the altar where he’d join with Izzy and begin their new life together.

  They’d started attending church together here soon after Tucker’s accident. The fellowship renewed them and filled them with a strong and vibrant hope for the future.

  As Sam opened the door and stepped into the warmth of the hallway, he marveled at the workings of his Maker. He’d come full-circle in meeting and loving Izzy. They’d both been through the fire, but they’d emerged examples of refined beauty.

  Beauty in hope. Beauty in faith. Beauty in belief.

  Beauty in love.

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