I was planning on another shower and then getting down to my homework, but I didn’t have the energy to move. I lay pooling into a blob of nothing, and fell asleep. In my dream I was in a nice cold iceberg, happily freezing my ass off until some evil wizard came, a wizard that looked remarkably like Galen’s friend Steve, and started a fire. He didn’t just start a fire though, it was an inferno that cracked and popped, sending out shards of burning embers to chase me from the quickly melting mass of ice.
I screamed as I jumped, plunging down until I landed on a soft forest floor. I didn’t question it, I was dreaming after all. I gave a sleepy smile as Galen came up to me in the dream, dressed in shining armor with a huge black horse behind him. He tied the horse to the tree, removed the armor, and came to kneel at my side, staring down into my eyes.
“You’re just so damned beautiful, Tara.” He breathed the words against my cheek as he nuzzled me with his lips, sweetly sweeping around to my ear. “I could fuck you until the world disappeared.”
I breathed a shivering breath of air, anticipating what would happen, knowing that he would soon kiss me with his beautiful mouth. That he’d soon touch me with those long, curious fingers of his. I squirmed beneath him, giving him a sweet grin.
“Touch me, Galen. Love me.” I pulled his face to mine, parting his lips with my tongue to take control, to take him.
We kissed hungrily but then Galen moved down my body as my slip dress magically disappeared. He skimmed soft fingers over my breasts, down my abdomen, until his face was centered between my thighs, breathing hot air on damp skin. I watched him, fascinated, desperate for the relief I knew only he could give me.
“Tara...” His whisper sent a shiver through me, and I moaned.
“Tara?” He said it louder this time and I stirred, something wasn’t right. “Tara, wake up, let me take you to a hotel!”
I blinked, my eyes opening blearily.
“It’s too hot to move, Galen.”
“Yes, but you’re naked, honey. There’s a lot of things I can handle. A lot of things I’ve learned to control since you came, but, darlin’, if you don’t put some clothes on I’m not going to be able to maintain that control.”
I blinked up at him, not understanding.
Then I became aware that the world was darker, that the light on my bedside table was on, and that my skin was completely bare. I looked up at him then, tired of being noble, tired of waiting for him to love me. I needed something that he could easily give.
On our wedding day I’d promised myself I wouldn’t have sex with him, not until it meant something to us both, but in the heat, and after yet another searing hot dream, I couldn’t fight myself anymore. I held my hand out to him, stroking his fingers with mine.
“Maybe you should take what’s on offer, Professor.” I gave him a sleepy but teasing smile, letting my fingers move to the top of his zipper before skimming away to take his hand once more.
“I’m not sure I should, Tara.”
His fingers traced over my skin, lightly over my shoulder and down my arm. His voice was shaky and I knew the sight of me naked was making it hard to keep control.
“Oh you should, you so should.”
His fingertips moved to my collar bone, and then down to the peaks of my rose-tipped nipples. It was the first time another human being had ever touched me there.
I gasped, arching into his touch. He made a low sound, a sound of approval, as I pressed into his hand. He cupped the full globe, more than filling his hand as he inched closer to me.
“Tara...” I stopped him by covering his hand with mine, drawing his gaze in the soft light.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Galen. But I need you. I need you to touch me. Please, touch me.” I tried to sound like I wasn’t begging, but I knew I’d failed.
He looked down at me, unsure, afraid. I wasn’t sure why he was afraid, I didn’t think I could hurt him. Not a man like Galen who had women throwing themselves at him. He was unbreakable, surely?
I knew he was off-guard so I pulled him and he came tumbling him down onto the bed with me. “I want you, Galen. You’re my husband, we’re both adults. What’s the problem?”
He loomed over me, staring down into my eyes, stroking my face with his hand as he examined me more closely than he ever had before.
“You’re so soft, Tara. So innocent somehow.” He looked as confused as he sounded. I didn’t want to tell him that was because I was innocent. “So fucking sweet.”
He groaned a sound of defeat and his lips fell to mine. I pressed deeper, wanting the kiss of my dreams, the kind where his tongue swept over mine, sucked at it.
He responded as I’d hoped, his hips moving over mine, pressing himself into me as his tongue swept into my mouth, tangling with mine as we moved in the overheated night air.
I pulled at Galen’s shirt, wanting to touch him. It was instinct, nothing more, that drove me to press my breasts into his chest as his skin was bared, that pushed me to wrap my calves around his waist.
Galen pulled me, centering me on the bed as he pushed at his pants. They disappeared and then he was back, pressing against my wet folds, but not in. I gasped at the strange sensation I’d only experienced in my dreams, my fantasies. His skin was slick, smooth, so silky from head to toe.
I spent long moments exploring his back as he kissed my neck until his lips moved down, sucking a nipple into the hot confines of his mouth.
“Galen!” I was shocked at the pleasure, at the pure erotic sensation of having my nipple sucked, but I wanted more. He obliged by capturing the other peaked nipple in his fingers with a smug chuckle.
“Like that, huh?” He asked, his tongue flat as it laved against the bud. “You have no idea, Tara. No idea of the things I want to do to you.”
I didn’t, but I had a feeling I might. Because I wanted to do just as much to him.
My hands, eager to explore, moved down to find him hard, long, and throbbing for me.
“Oh, nice!”
I pushed him off of me and he fell back with a laugh. I tried to wrap my hand around his shaft but I couldn’t close my fingers. How would I ever get that in my mouth? I knew from my ‘research’ that men liked when a woman sucked them, but I’d never done it. Would I be any good?
“It won’t bite, Tara.” He chuckled and I shot a glare up at him.
“I might!” I teased, leaning over to lick up the shaft, exploring him, tasting him. He tasted like he smelled, but with the salty taste of sweat. He quietened, his breathing level as he watched me kneel at his waist.
I started a slow stroke, watching him for any sign of pain or pleasure. He watched me intently, his gaze steady as I moved my mouth over him. Opening wide, I took him between my lips, sucking until he cried out. His hands clenched at his sides, bunching up my duvet, as his jaw clenched in effort.
“Slow, Tara. Take it slow.” I felt a shiver of reaction as he gave me his command, and pressed his hand on the back of my head. “No, don’t look away. Look at me while you suck my cock.”
A twinge of response between my thighs, and I could only move, opening wide as I pressed down onto him. Saliva ran down his shaft, making him slick as I moved up and down, pressing further with each down-stroke. He was starting to give light gasps, a moan when I pursed my lips and let him pop out of my mouth. My hand stroked what I could not swallow and my lips tingled.
I didn’t want to stop. His twitching hips and sounds of pleasure aroused me, making the fire between my thighs burn. I wanted to move, I wanted to ride him, but I stayed in place, his bare hand on my ass. His fingers dug into the flesh before they moved down, down to explore the liquid heat building within me. I moved with his strokes, my hips moving to meet his fingers as they slid through my folds, seeking that magic spot I’d discovered on my own.
It was like an itch that needed to be scratched, and when he finally found that sweet spot of pleasure I purred like a cat. My back arched, and he gave a murmur of app
roval.
“You’re so responsive, Tara. Honest responses. Amazing.” He moved, wanting to touch me more, and I realized I’d stopped sucking his dick but I hadn’t stopped stroking him.
Galen moved his fingers, trapping my clit between them, as he slid his other hand to cup my breast. I purred a sound of pleasure, the sensation almost painful, but so exquisite. I held my breath, waiting for the moment I knew was coming, but Galen shushed me.
“No, baby, don’t hold your breath, calm down. Breathe.” He whispered it against my ear, pushing into my hand as we moved together, our bodies slick with the heat of the night.
“Just let it come, Tara. Let it take you.” I could only shake my head, because I was too gone to respond. Just there, just a little more, and I’d fall over the edge.
His finger pressed harder against the bud, slick sounds filling the air as he concentrated on what he was doing to me.
I breathed deeply, my hips still twisting, needing it, needing that release. I looked into his eyes and saw their green depths were far more golden now, concentrated solely on my face. I knew I must have looked good because his eyes went wide, and he smiled.
“You have no idea what a goddess you are, do you? I can’t wait to see your face when I’m inside of you, fucking this tight…” His thumb slid down as he spoke, seeking out my entrance. He stopped speaking when the thick digit slid into my walls, his eyes looking down then back up with confusion.
I’d hoped he wouldn’t notice, I’d hoped he wouldn’t care. Obviously he did because he pulled his hand away from me and moved off the bed.
“Galen? Why did you stop?” I followed him, terrified that the proof of my virginity was going to end everything. Just when I was so close!
“You’re a virgin? How?” He looked lost as he pulled his pants from the floor. “A fucking virgin?”
That last one hurt. I pulled the sheet out from under the duvet, and wrapped myself in it, following him out of the room as he swiped up his shirt.
“Why does it matter? I thought men loved being a woman’s first? If it’s not a big deal to me, why is it to you?” I followed him into his bedroom, not ready to give up.
Normally I would have hidden under my blankets, I’d have found a way to get out of his life entirely just from the shame of it, but I wasn’t ready to give up on him. I’d really grown to care about him over the time I’d known him, far more than a silly crush; I really had come to love him. I wasn’t going to walk away.
“Tara, you deserve more than just a quick fuck, don’t you understand that? You deserve castles and dragon slayings. You deserve the moon at your feet! I’m not worth it, I’m not a knight in shining armor. I never will be.”
I watched him pace around his bed, the dark colors of his comforter and curtains, matching with the dark furniture. My room was all white, even the walls, but this room was dark, a sanctuary. That’s why he’d come in here, I realized, he needed a room where he could think.
“I don’t need you to slay dragons for me, Galen. I’m also not asking for any more than you’ve already offered.” I sighed as he paused, staring at me as though he’d just broken something precious and was now eternally damned. “I’m not a flower; I’m not a porcelain doll. Hell, I’m not even a pretty little wallflower, I’m just me! I wanted to have sex with you. What’s the problem?”
“Yes, but it should be somebody you care about your first time. You’re going to remember it forever.” He looked lost, hurt even.
“I haven’t been saving myself for marriage. You should know me by now, I’m too practical for that! I just hadn’t found anyone interesting enough to do it with. I haven’t been holding onto my virginity like it’s some prize, I just haven’t cared enough about sex to get rid of it. You interest me, obviously.” I could see my words had gotten through the fog in his brain, and he was considering it. “Really, I just haven’t been bothered about it.”
“Shouldn’t it be though? I mean, what else is it for otherwise?” He settled on his bed, looking over at me as he switched on a lamp. I settled on the other side.
“I’ve never really thought about it.” I didn’t say anything about the sudden and odd change of subjects, but went with it. Maybe it would lead somewhere. “I guess it’s some kind of vestigial remnant.”
“What like wisdom teeth or the appendix?” He looked as if he was calming down now, the flush of his skin lightening as we talked.
“I suppose so, yes. Do you know elephants only lose theirs when they give birth? Maybe it’s a way of keeping bacteria out, or maybe there was an organ there that has disappeared over time? You’re the history expert here, what’s your theory?”
“I’m a historian not an anthropologist.” He gave me his patented grin before he continued. “I guess it was a matter of breeding, more than anything, the same reasons some people have freckles, or that we no longer have tails but we do have tail bones. Certain traits remained because we were selective about who we bred with. Maybe there was a race of women with super-hymens that were better breeders than those without?”
I laughed at the super-hymens part but the rest made sense. That didn’t mean my body had calmed down and I was no longer yearning for his touch, but we were both calm and rational. Maybe we could talk this out.
“Basically, it’s not that important, is it? It’s just some left-over body part that serves no purpose now. If it’s the psychological aspect you’re concerned over, you do know your own reputation right, Galen?” I looked directly at him, not accusatory, but totally up front and not hiding.
“Yeah, I’ve heard a few things about myself.” To his credit, he neither looked smug or bothered. Just accepting.
“So what about those rumors makes you think I’d regret sleeping with you?” I watched him squirm then, trying to find an answer that I’d accept.
“I’m not good for women, Tara. Not women like you. Women that like to fuck and then fuck off, yes, totally acceptable. But women like you, women that are special, no, it’s just wrong.” He waved his hand in the air, dismissing the very thought.
“It’s nice to know you have standards, of a sort. And that you respect me, but Galen, I’m not asking you for anything other than that fuck you keep mentioning.” He looked into my eyes again, surprised at my use of the word. “I’m twenty-one years old, married, and still a virgin. You don’t think I’d be at least curious?”
“I suppose so.” He looked at me, astonished. I don’t think he realized what he’d revealed about himself and his feelings towards me. The exchange had given me hope rather than putting me off.
He’d admitted he thought I was special, worthy of far more than casual sex. He’d also admitted he cared about me, though I wasn’t sure he even realized that part yet. That was reason to celebrate as far as I was concerned.
“Listen, Tara. We’re in a unique situation, don’t you think that has some bearing on this? Would you be so willing to get into bed with another man?” He didn’t look spiteful, merely like he was asking a logical question.
“Not at all.” I went carefully, not wanting to admit more than I should. “You’re hot, that can’t be avoided. You’re apparently quite the skilled lover, and you intrigue me. I know our ‘relationship’ is going to be over as soon as your court hearing is over. I know this isn’t the normal boy meets girl scenario. I just wanted to make what I thought was a smart choice about my own body.”
I hit him with logic, hard and simple logic. “I’m going to be a doctor which means I don’t have time for being in love, I don’t have time for having kids of my own, or even a real relationship with a man. I have too much work to do and I’m late to start already. I just wanted to have sex with you, explore it, and move on.”
He did have the grace to look rattled at my implication that I only wanted a bit of fun from him somehow hitting his ego.
“You don’t want to be in love? Or some kind of lasting relationship?” The unspoken words there were ‘with me’. I heard them, just the same as if
he’d spoken them.
“I know you have your own issues, Galen. A daughter to care for, a career. You like your life just fine, right? The occasional romp with a willing partner is good enough. You don’t need some woman clinging to you, making demands.” Alright, I was laying it on a bit thick now, but what else could I do? Galen was not going to be pushed into anything.
He settled back on the bed, leaning against his pillows, his bare chest tempting me to touch him. The light played over the muscles, making his skin shimmer. He looked so fucking good.
“I guess, before you, that’s what I wanted, yes,” he said.
Before me? What did that mean?
“Your parents abandoned you, like my father did me. Until you came along I always thought I must not have been worthy of him. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. But you had the same thing, only worse.” His head turned to me, his eyes shining a little as he smiled. “You should have had two loving parents. I know you had your grandmother and she was great, but you were so worthy and they just threw you away. Maybe I deserved more too?”
“You were a baby, Galen. Of course you did!” I placed my hand on his shoulder to be supportive, squeezing before I moved my hand away.
“Well, I’d have agreed but look what happened with Kayla. I drove her to that. I drove her to that level of despair.”
“I think that was more to do with—”
“No, I wasn’t the best husband. I spent a lot of time at work after Rikki was born. I was trying to get another book finished so I could spend more time with them both. I just never got the chance.” A quiet sob lingered in his voice, but he looked away, hiding the pain away from me.
“Galen, you can’t blame yourself. You can’t! It wasn’t your fault. Besides, it was an accident, even if she was leaving you the accident wasn’t your fault.” I wondered if he’d ever talked to anyone professionally about it all. The burden he must be carrying around was overwhelming for me to even think about.
Professor next Door Page 7