Before I the chance to ask him what he meant, I heard the first few lines of ‘My funny Valentine’ warbling softly through the phone.
I had goose bumps running down the length of my body as I sank back into the tub. I had never had a guy serenade me before and I was shocked that he had remembered my favourite song after I had mentioned to him in passing at the coffee shop weeks ago when we were warming up after skating.
As it turned out, Jonathan was a man of many talents and I put my phone on speaker, closed my eyes and got lost in the music for a moment.
I’m not sure if it was the wine, the music or the thoughtfulness of the gesture, but by the time the last note faded away, all was definitely forgiven and I was feeling pretty choked up.
“That was beautiful. I can’t believe you did that for me,” I told him after taking a moment to compose myself.
“I didn’t want you to think that I had forgotten about you or that I wasn’t paying attention,” he responded, straining to catch his breath after his performance.
“Anyway, I know it’s late so I won’t keep you long, but I wanted to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day and to tell you that I am so glad that I’ve found you and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” he concluded.
I had never had a midnight Valentine’s Day call before (well, not at the start of it at least) but it certainly wasn’t a bad way to start the day.
“That’s so sweet of you. It’s really nice to hear your voice again. I can’t lie, it feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you,” I replied, suddenly feeling much less tense about the insecurities that had been plaguing me all week.
“Well, I know it’s late, so why don’t you close your eyes and you’ll see me soon. Sweet dreams belle,” Jonathan said, guiding me gently towards what was unquestionably the best sleep I had had in days.
Hope is our four letter word – One Republic
46. The next morning, I woke up feeling completely stress free for the first time in a week. It was utterly astonishing how much drama a person could create in one’s own mind over absolutely nothing at all.
I spent the morning leisurely getting ready and spending some quality time with Kahlua as Jonathan wasn’t picking me up until noon for a late brunch. I took some solace in rubbing that big fury belly, knowing that, regardless of her curves, she appeared to be pretty content with her lot in life.
By the time I heard Jonathan buzz my phone to come up, I was looking my adorable best and I had put all of the past week’s insecurities firmly behind me.
As I opened the door, I was greeted by a stunning bouquet of red roses intermingled with calla and Casablanca lilies; the intoxicating aroma only widening my smile as I took a peek at the card which read as follows:
I know that it’s a bit of a crime,
That I haven’t seen you since our first time,
And to apologize I wrote this rhyme,
To say that without you I’ve been blue,
And I want to thank you for not bidding me adieu,
Because I am so glad that I have found you.
Happy Valentine’s Day, and here’s hoping it’s the first of many.
Jonathan
xoxo
While he may not have had a future as a writer, I was willing to go along with the adage that it’s the thought that counts and he was the first and only man in my life to have written me something that approximated poetry.
Plus, it was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one who had noticed that it had been an awfully long time since we had seen each other.
“Hey stranger, it’s nice to see you again,” I greeted him as I slipped inside his arms and thoroughly re-acquainted myself with his lips.
“You’re certainly a sight for sore eyes. I had almost forgotten how beautiful you are,” Jonathan responded, and I noticed his eyes were shimmering when I looked up at him after we finally broke apart from each other.
He wasn’t looking too shabby either; his shirt clinging tightly to his chest, highlighting his sculpted pecs and he had left his hair looking a little more tousled than the rather non-descript way he typically wore it to work.
Hmm, I wonder if I can talk him into breakfast in bed. I’m sure we can find some way to work up a healthy appetite by the time dinner rolls around…
“Well then, if you’re having trouble remembering me already, I guess I’ll have to do something to make myself a bit more memorable for you,” I replied coyly as I stepped in close to him, my chest pressed firmly against him as I looked up at him while I playfully ran my nails down the small of his back.
An odd expression momentarily flashed across his face before he smiled at me again and replied, “That’s a pretty hard deal to say no to. I might have to hold you to that later.”
Later? Did I really have to point out that my offer was redeemable now?
“You had better mister,” I responded, tapping him lightly on the crotch with the back of my fist while beaming a smile at him with everything I had.
What happened to the man of action that I had unearthed at the shoe design store? Was it possible that stories of my pole dancing disaster had leaked out to the wider world and I was now considered damaged goods?
Not the ideal thought to be pondering on Valentine’s Day but, as it turned out, Jonathan had another surprise in store for me that quickly got my mind off my worries.
Despite my best efforts, I hadn’t yet had any luck in getting him to disclose where we were going for brunch but, after a short drive which culminated in our arrival at the Teahouse in Stanley Park, it was obvious that he was still putting in a concerted effort to impress.
Better yet, it turned out he had reserved a table right next to a window with a majestic view of English Bay spread out in front of us.
“I’ve always wanted to eat here. It’s such a perfect location for a special occasion and this view is incredible!” I announced breathlessly, the enthusiasm evident in my voice as I took in the spectacular vista; grateful that the sun had momentarily pushed its way out from between the clouds.
“I know that I’ve been missing in action all week so I figured that I should make the time that we have together special,” Jonathan responded, holding out my chair for me as I sat down.
After ensuring that my butt made its way safely to the centre of the seat, I took another look at the view and I had to admit, it was not a bad way to start the day.
“Speaking of special experiences, I wonder if they have any oysters on the menu?” Jonathan continued, the allusion to our dinner and its disastrous repercussions causing me to choke violently on my water.
Anyone that thinks that those slimy creatures are an aphrodisiac clearly hasn’t experienced the havoc those little things are capable of wreaking.
I couldn’t argue that it wasn’t a “special” experience but hopefully it was of the once in a lifetime variety.
A few moments later, after I had managed to catch my breath but with my eyes still watery, I gingerly replied, “I think the eggs benedict might be calling to me today but don’t let me stop you.”
“Well, I suppose oysters are more of a dinner dish anyway. So how has your week been? Are you excited about your new job?” he inquired, as we sipped on mimosas and took in the breathtaking vista.
Hmm, let’s see. What’s the best way to describe this past week? Well, my shorts couldn’t contain my bulbous butt and I spent the rest of the week in seclusion with nothing but several bottles of vino to keep me company because, after one night with me, work was calling out to you five nights in a row.
After quickly coming to the conclusion that I didn’t want to discuss any of those topics in greater detail, I decided to instead focus on my new job.
“I’m so excited about the job! Just one more week to go! It’ll be a chance to finally put my degree to use and be challenged at a job. Plus, I heard that I might be eligible for an expense account,” I replied wistfully, my mind briefly wandering to thoughts of decadent lunches and
scintillating conversations with famous literary giants.
“It sounds like it covers off everything you were looking for then,” Jonathan responded, a knowing smile on his face as I snapped myself back to reality, blushing as I realized he had caught me daydreaming.
“So, why don’t you tell me a bit about this project that’s been keeping you so busy that you haven’t been able to pry yourself free for one night all week to keep me company?” I inquired as I grazed his calf with my toes, eager to shift the focus of the conversation.
“I know I owe you an explanation, although I was sort of hoping to leave this until later,” he replied, looking inexplicably anguished by my question.
Yikes, that didn’t sound promising. Thank god I didn’t order oysters today. My stomach was starting to do loops all on its own.
I looked at him questioningly, silently urging him to continue.
“So, the project I’ve been working on is highly confidential and I can’t name the company that we’re working for, but our client is a large international oil and gas producer and they are currently in negotiations to take over another producer that’s based in Kazakhstan. My firm has been retained by the buyer to assist in negotiating and papering the deal,” Jonathan continued, still looking strangely pained by what appeared to be a fairly benign topic thus far.
Okay, so far, so good…
“It sucks that this project is keeping you so busy and that I haven’t got to see you all week, but it sounds like it’s probably godd experience for you to be involved in a deal like that?” I asked, hesitatingly.
“No question, I’m really lucky to have been asked to be involved in the project and it’s getting me some great exposure at the firm, but here’s the thing…,” he replied, pausing for a moment.
Uh oh, I’ve never had a ‘thing’ work out well for me before. That lead in wasn’t helping the knot in my stomach whatsoever.
“My firm needs someone to go over to Kazakhstan to do all of the due diligence work and to work directly with our client over there. The partner that’s the lead contact on the file will fly out for meetings, but I’m the junior on the file, so I’ve been asked to go and I could be there for a while. Unfortunately, there’s really no way to know when I would be back at this point,” he blurted out anxiously, looking utterly dejected.
I suddenly found myself short of breath and the eggs benedict had quickly turned to ash in my mouth as I digested what that news could mean for our relationship.
“So, do you have any choice about this or do you have to go?” I inquired sullenly, already dreading his response.
Do they not have lawyers in Kazakhstan? Everyone’s always saying there are too many lawyers in the world. Can’t we ship one of the surplus ones over there instead?
“The lead partner on the file asked if I would go. Technically I could say no, but I’ve never heard of an associate turning down a request like this. It would be career suicide. I hope you understand?” he replied, looking at me forlornly.
I so do not understand.
“I understand. You have to do what you have to do for your career,” I responded quietly, trying to blink away the tears that I could already feel welling up behind my eyes.
“I hope you know that this has nothing to do whatsoever with how I feel about you?” Jonathan said as he put a hand over mine, doing his best to elicit eye contact from me.
Yeah, ‘nothing’ definitely felt like an accurate depiction of what this decision was making me feel like.
“I know that you’re just starting your career and I get that you can’t turn them down,” I replied meekly, not able to return his gaze out of fear of losing control of my emotions entirely.
But it wouldn’t kill you to at least mention that you want to, or how hard it is going to be for you to leave me behind.
“Do you know when you would have to leave?” I inquired, hoping against hope that we would at least get to spend some time together before he left and discuss what this was going to mean for us before he left that he wasn’t springing this on me at the last minute.
“I found out on Friday that they want me on a flight leaving tomorrow morning,” Jonathan replied his eyes downcast, unable to even make eye contact.
Bastard.
“I know that we haven’t been dating for that long and I’m not sure if it would be fair for me to ask you to wait for me without knowing when I’ll be back, but I do care about you and I would really like to stay in touch and see you again when I get back if you haven’t moved on by then,” he concluded, his voice faltering as he spoke.
No, you could probably ask me that. In fact, you really should be asking me that if you care so much about me, shouldn’t you?
Take a chance here bud!
“Just to be clear here, you’re breaking up with me?” I asked plaintively, my voice cracking as I attempted to spit the words out.
I wasn’t entirely sure what he was trying to say, but regardless of how he phrased it, it sure felt like a breakup speech so far.
“Anna, I truly think you’re an amazing woman and I have no desire to be with anyone but you. I guess all I am saying is that I’m going to have to be out of the country and I don’t know when I’ll be coming back. I don’t want you to feel obligated to wait for me, but I would really like to see you again when I’m back if you still want to at that point,” he replied, clearly picking his words carefully, probably in an attempt to avoid saying anything that was going to set me off.
For a smart guy, this had to have been the dumbest way he could have handled this.
Seriously, who takes someone out on Valentine’s Day and springs that sort of news?
“I’m sorry but I think I’ve lost my appetite,” I retorted, as I abruptly stood and hurriedly exited the restaurant as I lost my struggle to hold back my tears.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that I was losing the man of my dreams on Valentine’s Day, did he really need to flee to another continent just to cement things?
Wait, was Kazakhstan on another continent? It sounded practically made up to me but I was relatively sure that it wasn’t a short journey wherever the hell it was.
My yoga pants might not survive this news, but Ben and Jerry were going to be able to retire on what I was going to be putting away tonight!
Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man – Erica Jong
47. After bolting from the restaurant and blindly wandering through Stanley Park in a haze of tears and crushing psychological anguish, I eventually managed to track down a cab and I tucked myself into a ball in the corner as I started to make my way home.
Based on the non-stop vibrations coming from my purse, it was clear that Jonathan was desperate to talk with me but I was in no mood to talk to anyone, let alone someone who was willing to toss me aside in exchange for a one way ticket to Kazakhstan.
Kazakhstan.
Even the name of that place irked me.
It would be different if he was going someplace interesting like Brazil or Dubai. I could maybe understand that…unless the heartless bastard wouldn’t have asked me to go there, either.
But to be dumped on Valentine’s Day for a country that sounded like something the South Park writers had made up?
Who does that!?
And how does he not even ask me to wait for him to get back?
What’s the worst that could happen if he asks? Even if I had said no, we would basically have been in the same place as we are now, but at least I would have had a choice!
Good Vibrations Page 19