George stared at me incredulously for a few seconds, the wheels in his head undoubtedly spinning furiously until he gently took my hand, kissing it chivalrously as he replied, “My dear, as the immortal Kenny Rogers said, you’ve got to know when to fold ‘em and know when to walk away and I think after this morning, I’ve met my match. All the best to you with your new job, it has truly been a pleasure,” he responded, bidding me adieu with a tip of his hat.
“Well what do you know? Maybe men are trainable after all.” Veronica whispered quietly as we took in George’s surprisingly debonair departure.
Maybe Veronica was right, but I clearly had yet to make any progress with the ‘stay’ command.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome – Issac Asimov
51. The next couple of days came and went agonizingly slowly and without so much as even a quick email from Jonathan to let me know that he had arrived safely.
Or, perhaps more to the point, to inquire how I was doing.
I wasn’t 100% sure whether Kazakhstan had embraced the internet and email yet, (okay, truthfully if someone had told me that the typical mode of transportation there was a Porsche or a dog sled, I would have believed it either way) but regardless, I was determined not to put myself out there again and I had decided that, no matter what, the next communication between us was going to have to come from him.
Realizing that my willpower was likely going to ebb and flow in direct relation to my alcohol intake, I had gone so far as to hand over my phone to Elyse and Veronica prior to two separate girls’ nights in order to prevent any further lapses in judgement.
While I was doing my best to put on a brave face in front of my girls, both my psyche and my liver were in rough shape by the time I arrived for work on Wednesday morning.
As such, when my head started pounding and my eyes suddenly went blurry a few hours later while I was hard at work browsing through Facebook updates at my computer, I chalked it up to severe dehydration.
In an attempt to rectify the situation, I immediately popped up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. Unfortunately, no sooner had I got to my feet than the room started to swirl crazily beneath me and I could feel my legs struggling to keep me upright.
Veronica caught me by the arm as I began what would have been a rapid descent towards the floor and I could hear the concern in her voice as she asked me what was wrong.
Excellent question!
Outside of some minor nuisances like not being able to see you or anything else in the room and the spike that someone seems to be trying to drive through my head, no complaints here.
“I’m not sure. All of a sudden my vision started to go a bit blurry and my head started pounding. I thought I was just dehydrated from last night but my legs don’t seem to want to cooperate now either,” I replied, trying my best to hide the paralyzing wave of fear that had suddenly washed over me, leaving me shivering uncontrollably.
Hmm, perhaps this wasn’t the ideal time to be parting ways with my extended health benefits after all?
“Oh my God! It sounds like you could be having a stroke!” Veronica screeched, her suggestion doing nothing to ease my shattered nerves.
“I’m calling you an ambulance. Stay right where you are,” Veronica commanded me as she frantically searched for a phone.
As I currently couldn’t see or stand, staying put was not going to be a significant hardship.
Twenty minutes later, after a frantic ride to Vancouver General, I was rushed through the admitting process (thank goodness for small miracles) and I soon felt a vast array of electrodes being attached all over my body in preparation for what I was told by a voice whose owner I couldn’t yet identify was going to be an ECG test.
I had never been particularly impressive when it came to standardized testing, but just this once, I would be absolutely ecstatic to be told that I was right in the meaty part of the curve.
After I recounted recent events and my symptoms to the faceless voices in the room, I heard the most welcome words of my life…
“So, the good news is, everything appears to be normal with your test results.”
I had had very few people accuse me of being normal prior to this moment, but I was utterly relieved to hear it now.
“Oh my God, I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you say that,” I replied, taking a few big gulps of air after momentarily having forgotten to breathe.
“Wait, if the tests came back negative, then what’s causing all of these symptoms?” I inquired apprehensively.
“That’s an excellent question. You mentioned that you aren’t on any medications, so we are ruling out a bad reaction for now. However, there is something called a migraine variant that can mimic many of the symptoms of a stroke. Are you prone to migraines?
Only on bad blind dates that required a quick exit.
“No, I get the occasional headache, but it’s never been anything too serious,” I replied, my curiosity piqued as to what had brought this all on.
“How has your stress level been lately? Sometimes people don’t even get a headache with this variation but the symptoms that you experienced can be brought on by extreme stress.”
Oh no, you’ve got to be kidding me! I’m lying in an emergency room because I’m suffering from an acutely broken heart? I wonder if there is a pharmaceutical grade Ben & Jerry’s that they can prescribe?
“Well, I did break up with my boyfriend a few days ago,” I replied timidly, mortified by the idea that my heartbreak may have somehow completely incapacitated me.
“Ah, I see. That certainly could be the cause of this type of reaction depending on how it may have elevated your stress levels. But don’t worry, you should be fine in a few hours,” the voice next to me said as I got a reassuring pat on the arm.
Unless there was a pill that wipes out unpleasant memories and mends broken hearts, I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
“Thanks so much Doctor, that’s such a relief to hear,” I replied with all the enthusiasm that I could muster.
Well, at least I now had incontrovertible proof that dating was indeed hazardous to one’s health, but hey, what was life without a little adventure…
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once – anonymous
52. The next day, having experienced an all-too-realistic preview of a brush with death, and with only two days left under Maggie’s reign of terror, I felt justified in being a teensy bit later than usual in arriving for work.
Unfortunately, my leisurely morning quickly came back to bite me in the butt as, before I had even had a chance to turn on my computer and check the day’s schedule, I glanced up from behind my desk and immediately found myself face to face with the brooding countenance of Sean Donovan.
A smirk played across his face as I looked up and inhaled sharply, startled by his sudden and unexpected reappearance in my life. I could feel myself blushing as he leered down at me unabashedly.
“Hi Sean, how was Fiji? Looks like you got a bit of sun while you were there.” I stammered as I tried to compose myself.
Three weeks on a tropical island certainly hadn’t done anything to hurt his allure. His skin appeared to have bronzed nicely; the contrast making his steely grey eyes appear even more intense than usual.
However, the fact that he blatantly aimed them wherever he seemed to damn well please wasn’t doing much of anything to help me recover my composure.
“It was hot and humid, day and night, for three weeks straight. Your clothes just cling to your body. It’s a shame that you weren’t there,” he replied, his eyes once again veering southward, wordlessly illustrating his point.
Unnerved by Sean’s unrelenting gaze, I was about to mutter some excuse about being trapped at work when I felt something inside me snap.
I held Sean’s gaze for a moment, mentally mulling over the train wreck that my personal life had become before overtly leaning over the desk on my elbows as I retorted,
“Are you sure that you could have handled me for three weeks? I’m just coming into my prime, whereas yourself…not so much.”
For the first time since we had crossed paths, Sean had no words and he stared back at me, incredulous at my response.
“Anyway, as it turns out, my situation has changed a bit during the last three weeks and Friday is going to be my last day here. So, if you still want to buy me that drink…” I let the implied offer hang in the air as I slowly traced my tongue over my lower lip.
Elyse would have been beaming like a proud parent if she had caught that performance. I hadn’t been sure if I had it in me to match Sean’s brashness, but once I decided to throw caution to the wind, the sensation was absolutely intoxicating.
In the past, I wouldn’t have given a guy like Sean the time of day. However, having chased Jonathan off to the other side of the world without so much as an email since, my ego was sorely in need of a boost. Besides, what harm could come from a little flirting?
Sean’s face was still registering a look of shock but it was slowly replaced by a predicable cocksure grin as he replied, “Alright, I’m a man of my word. I’m downtown all day. Why don’t you let me know when you’re about to get off and we can meet up at Hemingway’s if you’re still feeling like a stiff one.”
Hmm, it was possible that I was going to have to tone down his expectations (and perhaps my own witty repartee) at some point, but there was no reason that couldn’t wait until after a couple of cocktails.
Completely disregarding the voice in the back of my head, which was currently screaming a stream of expletives at me, I replied, “I’ve been in need of one for a while now but I can survive until this afternoon. I’ll send you a text when I’m ready for you.”
Sean looked at me as if he was about to retort, then, as he shook his head gently, he replied, “Alright, this should be interesting.”
I knew that going for drinks with Sean was akin to tossing fresh meat in front of a hungry lion, but it had been far too long since anyone had mauled me.
Besides, at this point, what did I have to lose?
Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore – L. Frank Baum
53. By the time 4 p.m. rolled around, most of my initial feistiness had worn off and it had been replaced with a daunting sense of trepidation. I sat at my desk after closing up the office, tapping my foot nervously as I mulled over my options.
It didn’t take long.
By the time I had come to the realization that drinking alone was not in the budget for the night, it was clear what I had to do.
Although I had notionally known Sean for months, I still knew practically nothing about him, and it was fair to say that none of the rumours I had heard about him exactly screamed ‘boyfriend material’.
On the other hand, if the last month had taught me anything it was that, even with the best prospects, dating does not come with any money back guarantees.
Having agreed to meet at Hemingway’s at 5 p.m., I gave Sean ample time to bail before I finally strolled in to the bar around twenty after.
By the time I finally spotted Sean slouched in a corner, I wasn’t entirely sure if I if was excited, anxious, or some combination of the two.
“As promised,” his gravelly voice greeted me as he pushed a shot in my direction.
No please, don’t bother putting in any effort to get up to greet me or anything. This clearly was not going to be a holding out my chair sort of situation.
“How thoughtful of you,” I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Well, at least this should help calm my nerves a bit, I thought to myself as I reached out to grab hold of the shot glass.
“Bottoms up,” Sean exclaimed salaciously as we clinked glasses.
It’s going to take a lot more than one shot before you get me in that sort of position.
“Bottoms up? I hope you weren’t expecting me to be that easy,” I retorted sassily as I eased back in my chair, coyly crossing my legs as I felt the alcohol slide down my throat, the warmth spreading across my body.
“To be honest, I wasn’t even expecting you to show. So you’ve already exceeded my expectations for the night,” Sean responded caustically as he flagged down a waitress with a wave of his hand.
The attitude that Sean kept tossing my way was causing me to do a slow burn in my seat but, despite the irritation I was feeling towards him, I still couldn’t help wanting to disprove his opinion of me.
Sensing my opportunity, I jumped in before Sean could order the next round as I caught the waitress’ eye and said, “Hi there, could you bring us two glasses of Pyrat Cask 1623, straight up, thanks,” before sitting back with a bemused smile on my face as Sean stared at me with a look of consternation.
I had spent enough time as a waitress to have a working knowledge of high-end liquor, but I wasn’t planning on divulging the source of my knowledge to Sean anytime soon.
“You know your liquor,” Sean eventually responded with a begrudging smile.
“I’m a fountain of knowledge; I just have to be asked the right questions. But for a smart guy, you seem to have made a lot of assumptions about me instead,” I retorted, doing my best to put him on the spot.
“So, are you trying to tell me that there’s more to you than meets the eye,” Sean countered as his eyes once again journeyed southward with the determination of a goose heading south for the winter.
Unfortunately for him, there was a storm on the horizon that was about to put a halt to that journey.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, although you’re never going to find out for yourself if you don’t start looking in places other than where you’re currently staring,” I replied, keeping my voice flat as Sean violently jerked his head upwards to meet my gaze.
Did I see a hint of colour rising in his cheeks? Maybe there was a beating heart lurking somewhere deep beneath that cold, hard veneer after all.
“Excellent timing,” Sean responded, thanking our waitress earnestly as she arrived with our drinks.
“Alright, to new beginnings then,” Sean said, raising a glass to me. “I’m finally done with this divorce and now I can get on with the rest of my life. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up starting me down a new path,” he continued, sounding as dubious as I was about that proposition.
“I’ll drink to that idea,” I replied, as we again clinked glasses.
“So, you said you were changing jobs? What position are you moving on to?” he inquired, making a concerted effort to sound interested in something other than my bra size.
“Well, I was an English major in university and I’ve always wanted to find a role in publishing. As it turned out, a friend of mine has a connection in the industry and I found the perfect role for myself as a publicity specialist with a local publishing house. I’ll be responsible for setting up in-person media events for authors and I’ll also be creating social media content,” I replied, embellishing my duties just a smidge.
I figured that a little white lie has never hurt anyone and, if it helped to keep his gaze above my neck for a few minutes, it would have been well worth it.
“So, if I was looking for a publisher for my memoirs, are you going to be the one trying to sway me to sign?” Sean replied with a bemused smile.
“It depends on whether you have any stories worth telling. So far, I haven’t heard enough about you to figure that out yet,” I retorted, grazing his leg with the tip of my shoe, hoping that a little positive reinforcement might help persuade him to open up a bit.
Good Vibrations Page 21