And still there were no sirens. Theodosia thought it bizarre that no police cars had shown up to give chase. That no one had reported seeing a woman in a black formal dress clinging to the back of a speeding food truck. Although probably, she decided, the entire scene would be shown on YouTube by tomorrow—the entire chase gone viral!
Keeping low, moving quietly, she crept forward, the rubber mat cushioning her steps and deadening the sound.
Finally creeping up to just behind the driver’s seat, Theodosia paused and drew a deep breath. Then, raising the skillet above her head, she cried, “This joyride is over!” and slammed the skillet down on top of Turner’s head.
Bong!
Turner’s entire body reacted as if he’d been shot through with a jolt of electricity. His shoulders hunched forward and his hands flew off the steering wheel. Then his head lolled sideways, his eyes rolled back in his head, and his right leg stiffened hard against the accelerator.
Oops!
“Not quite as planned,” Theodosia muttered. She lurched to grab the steering wheel just as the food truck blew through a red light. Thinking fast, she kicked Turner’s leg out of the way and shoved his unconscious body up against the driver’s side door. Then she tromped down hard on the brake pedal—and hoped for the best.
Tires screeched, pedestrians screamed and scattered, and oncoming cars honked their horns. Theodosia swerved dangerously as some of the speed began to bleed off, but they were still barreling directly toward another food truck, which had a giant ice cream cone painted on its side.
Oh no! We’re on a collision course! We’re going to smack right into that stupid truck and end up with hot dog–flavored ice cream!
And then, as if providence had dropped it there just for her express purpose, Theodosia saw a lamp pole looming directly in front of her.
Yes!
She jerked the wheel again and steered the food truck directly at it. And then held on for dear life as they struck hard.
Clank!
There was an agonizing screech of metal as the truck shuddered like a dying dinosaur. Then the lamp pole groaned and rocked over at an awkward angle. Theodosia lost her footing completely, was thrown one way and then the other. And then she toppled over backward onto the cushioned floor!
Boom!
“Oh!” she cried.
And then . . . nothing. No more motion, no more collisions.
But at least they had come to a stop!
Breathing hard, blinking wildly, Theodosia couldn’t believe her wild ride was finally over. Her hair was frizzed and twined like a crazed Medusa and her dress was an absolute disaster. Groaning, knowing she’d sustained a number of bumps and bruises, Theodosia picked herself up and staggered her way through the food truck. Past the still-sizzling grill, stepping gingerly over an oil slick of onions. Just as she kicked open the back door and hobbled out, the speaker spit out one last shaky bar of “Pop! Goes the Weasel” and died.
The owner of the ice cream truck, a swarthy-looking man with wild eyes and frizzed-out hair, came running up to her, waving his arms and screaming. “You crazy lady!” he shouted. “You almost hit me, you know that? You almost hit me!” He was chattering like mad and hopping up and down from the shot of adrenaline his body had doled out to him.
Theodosia raised a hand and waved him off tiredly. “But I didn’t hit you. Your truck’s just fine. You’re fine.”
It took the ice cream guy a few moments before he realized that he and his truck really had survived. He drew a shaky breath, seemed to relax a bit, and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. Then he squinted at Theodosia and said, “So you want a rocky road or what?”
26
It took an entire cadre of police officers and a terse call from Detective Tidwell to finally mop up the damages. It was going to take a lot more time and energy to mop up all the spilled food. The “path of destruction,” as Drayton called it, went on for almost five full blocks.
But even though Andrew Turner had been apprehended, the evening wasn’t quite over. Theodosia, Drayton, Max, and Timothy had quietly retreated to the Indigo Tea Shop. Drayton and Timothy had abandoned the Art Crawl Ball when Theodosia and Max had taken up chase and then been privy to some of the action for a block or so. Now Theodosia and Drayton had thrown open the doors to the tea shop so they could all gather together, discuss the bizarre circumstances, and try to recover from the excitement.
“I’ve got chamomile and Dimbulla,” said Drayton. He was standing behind the counter brewing tea.
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble, Drayton,” said Max.
“But I want to,” said Drayton. “Keeps me busy, gives me something to do. Otherwise I’d be all nervous and kerfluey.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” said Theodosia. She looked down at her long dress, which was basically ruined. It was spattered with grease and what appeared to be a nice paisley pattern of ketchup and mustard. The bottom of the hem was completely frayed, as if it had been clawed by a dozen crazed wombats. What would Delaine think? Was the skirt returnable? Worse yet, Delaine would probably go crazy when she found out that her date was an accused killer! So now she had that to deal with!
A heavy knock on the front door brought their excited chatter to a screeching halt.
“Who could that be?” asked Max.
“Customers?” said Drayton as he stepped to the door. “Well . . . only one way to find out.” He pulled the door open.
Sheriff Anson stood in the doorway and stared in as if he were peering into a rabbit hole. Then he reached up, swiped his Smokey Bear hat off his head, and said, “Detective Tidwell told me I’d probably find you people here.”
“Come on in,” sang Drayton. “Come in and join the party.”
“Some party,” said Max.
“Would you care for a cup of tea, Sheriff?” Theodosia asked.
“Tea?” said the sheriff. He said the word as if he were referencing strychnine.
“You might enjoy it,” said Drayton. He poured out a cup and handed it to Sheriff Anson. “Perfectly steeped.”
Sheriff Anson set down the duffel bag he was holding and took a tentative sip. “Not bad,” he said.
“No,” said Drayton. “The words you were looking for are ‘it’s good.’”
“You have some news for us, Sheriff?” Theodosia asked. She figured the good sheriff must have shown up here for a reason.
Sheriff Anson nodded and stepped forward. “First things first. Andrew Turner just gave us a full confession—about killing Drew Knight, turning on the pesticide sprayer at the winery, and stashing the gun in Van Deusen’s car. One of my deputies also took Pandora Knight into custody. She swears that she had nothing to do with the murder of Drew Knight. And that she never suspected Andrew Turner as the killer.”
“But she was in on the counterfeiting scheme,” said Theodosia. “She had to be.”
Sheriff Anson nodded. “Yes, she completely owned up to that. She said that Turner approached her with a scheme to produce counterfeit wines when his art gallery started to go down the drain. And then they both pitched it to Tanaka.”
“Or vice versa,” said Theodosia.
“Perhaps we’ll never know who was the instigator,” said Timothy Neville.
“Anyway,” Anson continued, “Pandora claims she jumped at the whole sorry scheme because she was desperate for money, too.”
“But she had money,” said Drayton.
“She wanted more,” said Theodosia.
Max shook his head. “Do you believe her?”
Sheriff Anson tapped his thumb against his broad chest. “If you’re asking me if I think Pandora was eager to get in on the counterfeit wine scam, yes I do. But I don’t think she’s any sort of killer.”
“I believe that, too,” said Theodosia. “In the end, Pandora and Jordan came together over the death of Drew. I think Pandora may be a world-class schemer, but I don’t think she’s a killer.”
Theodosia vividly recalled
the scene she’d witnessed at Magnolia Cemetery between Pandora and Turner. Pandora had said something to the effect of, “You wouldn’t, would you?” And Turner had replied, “Of course not.”
Theodosia now realized that they hadn’t been talking about Drew’s artwork as Turner had suggested. Pandora had been asking him if he’d killed Drew. Pandora had simply been too trusting of Turner. And way too greedy, too.
“Compared to Andrew Turner,” said Max, “Pandora turned out to be the lesser of two evils.”
“The lesser of two evils is still evil,” said Theodosia.
Drayton nodded. “You’re quite correct.” He held up a blue-and-white teapot and asked, “Who else would like a nice cup of tea?”
“I was hoping for something a little stronger,” said Max. “This evening seems to call for a nightcap of sorts.”
“Interesting you should mention that,” said Sheriff Anson. He reached into the duffel bag that was puddled on the floor beside him and pulled out a bottle of wine.
“Let me see that,” said Max. He peered at the label. “Ho! Château Latour!”
“Another fake!” snorted Drayton. “Haven’t we had enough of that for one night?”
“Don’t be so hasty,” said Sheriff Anson. “This particular bottle came from the back room of The Turner Gallery. Where, by the way, we found stacks and stacks of counterfeit labels.”
“So . . . maybe this wine is for real?” said Max.
“Like I always say,” said Theodosia, “there’s only one way to find out.”
A corkscrew was hastily produced and the cork was popped. Theodosia set out wineglasses and the wine was carefully poured.
Drayton swirled the wine in his glass and was the first to take a small sip. He frowned and wrinkled his nose, considering the wine. “Actually this is . . . rather nice. Timothy? Would you mind rendering your expert opinion?”
Timothy stuck his nose deep into the glass and inhaled. Then he tipped his glass back and took a taste.
“Well?” said Max.
Timothy’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “Hmm, this is really quite good. It desperately needs to breathe, of course, but after a fair amount of aeration, this wine might actually prove to be quite remarkable.”
Sheriff Anson chuckled. “I certainly hope so. Because I’m pretty sure this is the bottle they used as a model for the counterfeit labels.”
“You mean to tell me it really is real?” said Theodosia.
“Absolutely,” said Sheriff Anson.
Max pulled Theodosia into his arms and gave her a hug. “It’s the real deal,” he whispered. “Just like you.”
“A toast, then,” said Timothy.
Drayton raised his glass of wine and gave a sly smile. “To a mystery solved!”
They all clinked glasses together as they echoed his words: “To a mystery solved!”
FAVORITE RECIPES FROM
The Indigo Tea Shop
Chilled Mango Summer Soup
2 mangos, peeled, seeded, and diced
1/4 cup sugar
1 lemon, zested and juiced
11/2 cups cream (or half-and-half)
PLACE mangos, sugar, lemon juice, lemon zest, and cream into a blender or food processor. Cover and whip until smooth and creamy. Serve chilled. Yield: 4 servings.
Vegetable Medley Tea Sandwiches
1 small cucumber, peeled, seeded, and diced
1/2 red bell pepper, diced small
1/4 cup diced green onions
1 Tbsp. minced fresh parsley
1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese, softened
1 Tbsp. mayonnaise
salt to taste
16 thin cocktail rye bread slices
COMBINE all ingredients (except bread) in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Spread mixture on half of the bread slices, then top with remaining slices. Cut sandwiches in half diagonally. Yield: 16 sandwiches.
Strawberry Jammy Scones
6 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
3 sticks butter, chilled
11/2 cups milk
1 cup strawberry jam
PREHEAT oven to 425 degrees. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Cut butter into small cubes and add to the mixture. Use a pastry cutter or knives to incorporate the butter into flour mixture until it’s nice and crumbly. Pour in milk and stir until dough forms a ball. If it’s too dry, add a little bit more milk. Place dough on lightly floured surface and gently pat out into a 10-by-12-inch rectangle that is about 1/4-inch thick. Spread strawberry jam over half the dough. Fold dough over to make a 5-by-12-inch rectangle. Cut dough into 8 triangles and gently pinch the edges closed. Bake on a greased baking sheet for 12 to 15 minutes, until scones are a light golden brown. Yield: 8 scones.
Haley’s French Toast Casseroles
4 oz. cream cheese, room temperature
4 eggs
2⁄3 cup milk
1⁄3 cup orange juice
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/2 tsp. freshly grated orange peel
3 cups bread crumbs (about 4 or 5 slices)
HEAT oven to 350 degrees. Whisk cream cheese in bowl until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, whisking after each addition. Stir in milk, orange juice, maple syrup, and orange peel until mixture is well blended. Divide bread crumbs among 4 greased 10-oz. ramekins or custard cups. Pour egg mixture over bread, making sure mixture is equal in all 4 ramekins. Place ramekins on baking sheet and bake in center of oven for about 30 minutes. French toast casseroles are done when they puff and a silver knife comes out clean. Yield: 4 servings.
Apricot Scones
2 cups all-purpose flour
1⁄3 cup sugar
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
5 Tbsp. cold butter, diced up
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup chopped dried apricots
PREHEAT oven to 375 degrees. In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Cut in butter with fork or pastry blender until crumbly. Stir in cream, then add apricots. Knead dough 5 or 6 times on a lightly floured surface until dough forms a ball. Roll dough into a circle about 1/2-inch thick. Cut into approximately 16 triangles. Places scones on greased baking sheet, sprinkle a little extra sugar on top, and bake for 16 to 20 minutes. Yield: 16 scones.
Blue Cheese and Grape Tea Sandwiches
4 slices pumpernickel bread
1 piece blue cheese, softened
bunch of red grapes, seedless, sliced thin
TRIM crusts off bread, then cut into quarters. Gently spread softened blue cheese on each piece of bread. Top with sliced red grapes. Yield: 16 sandwiches.
Baked Crab Rangoon
1 package cream cheese (16 oz.), softened
1 can crabmeat, drained and crumbled
2 green onions, chopped
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. soy sauce
1 package wonton skins
PREHEAT oven to 425 degrees. Combine first 5 ingredients in a bowl and mix until well blended. Lay out wonton skins. Place 1 teaspoon of crab mixture in the center of each wonton. Moisten the edges of the wonton with water, then fold in half to form a triangle. Pull two of the edges in slightly and pinch to seal. Arrange rangoons on a greased cookie sheet and bake for 12 to 14 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with your favorite sweet and sour sauce.
Ladybug Tea Sandwiches
6 slices white bread
cream cheese
18 cherry tomatoes
18 parsley leaves
18 black olives, pitted
USING cookie cutter, cut 3 rounds of bread out of each slice of bread. Spread rounds with cream cheese. Slice cherry tomatoes in half and arrange as wings on top of each round. Place a leaf of parsley under tomatoes so it looks like each ladybug is sitting on it. Slice olives in half. Reserve 18 halves. Slice the remaining halves into small bits. Place an olive half in front of wings to form the ladybug’s
head. Place the small bits on the tomato wings to create the ladybug’s spots. Yield: 18 small (and very cute!) sandwiches.
Drayton’s Coconut Iced Tea
2 cups boiling water
2 teabags jasmine or other fruity tea
1 Tbsp. honey
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk
lemon wedges
BREW tea by pouring boiling water over tea bags. Let steep for about 3 minutes. Pull out tea bags and stir in honey and coconut milk. Let cool to room temperature. Serve over crushed ice with a wedge of lemon. Yield: 2 servings.
Almond Joy Scones
2 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 stick butter, cold and cut into small pieces
3/4 cup sweetened, shredded coconut
3/4 cup sliced, toasted almonds
3/4 cup chocolate bits, milk chocolate or semisweet
3/4 cup heavy cream
1 large egg
PREHEAT oven to 400 degrees. Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large mixing bowl. Using a pastry cutter or knives, cut in the butter until mixture is coarse and crumbly. In a separate bowl, combine cream and egg. Add wet mixture to dry mixture until just combined (dough will still look crumbly) and then mix in chocolate bits. Place dough on lightly floured surface and pat out gently until dough is about 1-inch thick. Using a cookie cutter, cut out 12 to 14 scones. If you’d like, you can cut them in wedges, too. Place on greased baking sheet and baked for 16 to 18 minutes, until golden brown. For best baking, rotate cooking sheet in the oven halfway through. Note: These are great breakfast or dessert scones! Yield: 12 to 14 scones.
Steeped in Evil (A Tea Shop Mystery) Page 25